Blind Intentions
by SammieLynnsMom
Summary: When Edward & Bella's son, Nathan, goes missing it turns their lives upside down. This is the journey they take to find him, & in the process realize everything isn't what it seems. E/B Eventually NO CHEATING!
1. Chapter 1

**First and foremost, thank you for reading! This idea came to me recently, and I just had to get it out. This is going to be a wild ride, so hold on as best as you can.  
**

**I want to thank my betas kas90 & stupidlamb118 and my pre-reader tg10781 for putting up with me and my horrible obsession with commas. **

**Summary:**

When Edward & Bella's son, Nathan, goes missing it turns their lives upside down. This is the journey they take to find him, in the process realizing everything isn't always as it seems.

***I have noted this story as an Edward/Bella story for a reason-please just have patience***

If you're under the age of 18-please don't read, it is rated M for a reason.

**I do not own Twilight, I just enjoy playing with the characters. **

* * *

"Tanya, I already explained, we are not going on vacation that week, it's Nathan's birthday." I wanted to throw up my hands, but I knew it was hard for her to understand the pull I felt for my son. We had talked about having children a few times, but we were still waiting. Once we had children together, I was sure she'd have a better understanding.

"How about the week after?" she asked with a pout as she leaned over our bed, wearing my old college tee and red laced panties.

"Can't... Dr. Gerald goes on vacation, and the hospital will be short staffed."

I walked down the hallway to the third door before the stairs. Peeking in, I saw my son. He was my absolute pride and joy.

It'd been nearly eight years since he graced my life, and although he wasn't born into a traditional family, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

I sat on the edge of his bed, but he began to stir after I kissed his forehead.

"Daddy?" His voice was groggy with sleep.

"I love you. I have to go to work, but have a good day at school. Your mom will pick you up at the bus stop."

Bella and I met in college. I was up to my eyeballs in schoolwork and, on a whim, attended a party a friend was pushing me to attend. After too many shots to count, I woke up in Bella's dorm, in her bed, completely naked.

Neither one of us remembered how we got there, she was just as wasted as I was.

Three weeks later, we found out she was pregnant.

My family was less than thrilled. We had money, and they were convinced Bella lured me to her room to trap me somehow. I really didn't know what to think.

I grew up as the baby of the family, Emmett and Alice both ahead of me in age. I'd never wanted for anything a day in my life. I was a month shy of graduating, starting my residency, and then I knocked a girl up.

Bella and I did our best to make a relationship work, but we failed.

However, we both knew we'd be forever intertwined in the other's life. She let me attend the birth of my son, which I was very thankful for, and she did her best to include me where she could.  
The first year was hectic, to say the least, she was nursing, and Nathan had problems with bottles. I spent many hours sleeping on her couch, and I helped out as much as I could;, while still juggling my residency.

After Nathan turned a year and didn't have to depend on Bella so much for nutrition, we established a routine that worked for us. I took him every Wednesday night to Friday morning, along with every other weekend. When more or less time was needed, the other was always willing to work around it.

Bella and I may have failed at a romantic relationship, but I considered us friends. She did too. We made good co-parents.

I'd met Tanya when Nathan was four. I'd started a new position at a new hospital, and she was a volunteer in Pediatrics. Every week, Tanya would go around the ward handing out stuffed toys and reading stories.

Tanya was gorgeous, smart, my family liked her, we got along well, and we had enough in common to keep me interested in her. It took me a while to gather up the courage to ask her out, but then a date turned into more, and then into marriage.

Introducing Tanya to Bella was hard. Bella didn't hold a candle for me or anything, but Bella just wanted to be sure that I trusted Tanya with our son. It was always Nathan she worried about. It took about six months before I introduced Nathan to Tanya, but when I did, I gave Bella my word that we didn't need to fear her.

However, anytime Bella and Tanya were in the same room, it would feel off. Tanya never knew where she fit with Bella, and I think Bella was a little weary of anyone that held a place in Nathan's life. Bella got a lot more relaxed when Tanya and I married.

We got married shortly after Nathan turned five. Nathan was our ring bearer, and Bella was all smiles. She hadn't dated much, at least not that she'd told me, but I hoped one day she'd find someone.

As a step-mom, Tanya was great. She enjoyed staying home and taking care of Nathan while I worked. When we didn't have him, she continued to volunteer in the hospital.

I placed one more kiss on Tanya's lips. We'd talk about a vacation when I got home, but I really wanted to consider one where we took Nathan with us. It'd been a while since we'd had a family vacation, and I wanted one. I was also sure Bella could use the break.

I unlocked my car and headed to work.

Working in the ER was a hectic job, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, I hated when I walked into work and, unexpectedly, get slammed with a double shift.

Tanya would be pissed I wouldn't be home until the middle of the morning, but I'd make it up to her later. I was looking at the entire weekend off in a few days, and it was not my weekend with Nathan. I considered taking her away to a Bed & Breakfast we'd been considering trying out. It was only a few hours away, but it might be enough for her to get off my back about a grand vacation for the two of us.

On my lunch break, I texted her to book us a suite. She was thrilled. I loved making my wife happy. I also knew the added hours would be forgiven. I was still considered the "new doctor" on the block, even three years in, so more often then not I was given the extra shifts.

As dinner time neared, my phone went off. I almost didn't answer it until I saw it was Bella. She'd never call me unless it was about Nathan, so I answered.

_"Edward, where is my son?" she screeched through the phone._

"What are you talking about?" I asked, because it wasn't like Bella to call me out of the blue. Out of the two of us, Bella was always the calmer parent. For her to call me, in a panic, was alarming.

_"I asked where Nathan is! When I went to the bus stop to pick him up, the driver told me he wasn't there this morning. So I called the school, and they said he was absent today."_

"Bella, he was at home when I left. Let me call Tanya, maybe he woke up sick or something." Panic began to take over me, and I hightailed it into my office. Tanya would have called me if she kept him home...at least she did last time, and when I talked to her earlier, she hadn't mentioned anything.

I hung up on Bella, although not on purpose, so I could quickly dial my house number.

_"Hello, baby," Tanya's flirty voice filled the receiver._

"Is Nathan with you?" I asked quickly.

_"No, it's not our day to have him. I dropped him at the bus stop this morning and…"_

"So he's not home?" I interrupted.

_"I just said…"_

"And did you watch him get on the bus?" Every red flag in my brain was lighting up like a Christmas tree.

_"Um, no, but Ed..."_

My fingers started working before my mind could catch up.

_"Hello?" Bella was in tears, and I could hear it in her voice._

"He's missing, Bella. He's missing."

* * *

**A cliffie, I'm sorry. This is actually a chapter, I've chosen not to do a prologue for this story, although you'll still probably see an epilogue. Reviews are loved, but not required. My goal is to update every 1-2 weeks depending upon my schedule. I can tell you Chapter 2 is almost with beta. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who has read so far & a special thanks to those who took the time to review!**

**Love to kas90 & stupidlamb118 for making me sound smart & please end well wishes to tg10781, my pre-reader, who recently had surgery on her wrist!**

**I don't own Twilight, but I like playing with the characters!**

* * *

As soon as Bella told me she'd call the police, I hung up the phone and ran to my father's office. After a very brief, and winded explanation, I tore out to the parking lot to my car. Once inside, tunnel vision took over...I needed to get home and find Nathan.

When I pulled up, Tanya bolted out of the house and asked what was wrong. She kept going on and on about trying to call me back, but I didn't even recognize the ten missed calls my cell phone claimed I'd missed.

Before I even got in the house, I could hear the sirens in the distance as Bella haphazardly parked in my driveway. Her face was red, eyes puffy, and tears streamed down her face. If you'd asked me then what she was wearing, I wouldn't have been able to tell you.

The day turned into night with no sign of Nathan. My living room was turned into, "Where's Nathan?" central. Most of my family huddled inside while Bella's father, the Chief of Police, had his men coming in like a revolving door.

I vaguely remembered the officer taking me aside to ask me questions.

"When did you last see your son, Dr. Cullen?" I knew the guy, Officer Newton. His cold shoulder immediately irritated me. I knew his questions were reasonable, but I didn't like feeling as if I was a suspect.

"This morning, I, um...I kissed him goodbye when I was leaving for work. I guess it was like 5:30," I answered.

"So your wife is the person who sees him to the bus? Is that normal?"

"Um, yeah...well, Tanya stays home while I work. After I leave, she gets him breakfast and off to the bus stop...I don't..." I put my head in my hands. I honestly didn't remember the last time I had taken him to school myself. It never occurred to me before, but, in that instant, I felt like a failure.

"Do you know what he was wearing the last time you saw him?"

"Superman pajamas...he threw a fit until I let him wear them last night." I smiled at the memory before shaking myself out of it. "I don't know what Tanya put him in for school, you'll have to ask her."

"Does he have any scars? Dental work? Anything that would be a unique identifier?"

"Yes, on the back of his neck. He fell down when he was four, landed on a rock. It needed stitches, and it left a mark." He asked me if it was in his medical records, and I nodded.

"Do you have any enemies? Any family members threaten you for a death at the hospital? Anything like that?"

"No, never," I immediately answered.

"That's all I need for now, if you can think of anything, come find me, okay?"

I choked out a thank you.

In the distance, I saw Tanya sitting with a different officer...I assumed answering the questions I couldn't. Bella sat in the living room. If I didn't know any better, I would have said she was catatonic. Her eyes were open, staring into the distance at what seemed like nothing.

When Charlie came to sit next to me, I jumped...I never saw him coming.

"We'll find him, Edward. We will." I could hear the emotion laced in his voice. We both knew the odds.

"But in what conditions? It's almost nightfall, that's what, 12 hours, almost? As time goes on..." I couldn't go on. Up until this point, I had kept a brave face on, trying to keep it together so I could feel helpful, but sitting next to Bella's father, I lost it.

I wasn't aware of how much time passed before Charlie stood up. An officer pulled him over to talk more. My ears opened, I tried to catch even a whisper of what they were saying, but it all just sounded like a jumble of words.

When I looked up, I saw my sister, Alice, hugging Bella as she stayed curled on the chair in my living room. On the opposite side was my mother and Tanya. For a brief second, I felt worse for Bella, my family had never welcomed her. Shortly after Tanya and I got married, I heard her and Mom talking in whispered hushes. My mom was expressing her joy that Tanya was her new daughter-in-law. Apparently, when Bella and I announced to our families she was pregnant with Nathan, my mom immediately thought I'd rush off to marry Bella. We were young, dumb, and both thought that would have been even stupider than our drunken one-night stand. We went on a few dates, but Bella broke it off.

_"Bella, I'm so sorry." I continued to hold her as she sobbed. The positive pregnancy test was staring at us from the end table._

_"I'm not...I can't do this..." she whispered through her tears._

_"I promise you, we will get through this." I'm not sure I believed myself, but they were the only words I could offer her._

_"I don't even know you." She looked up with her innocent brown eyes all red and puffy from an hours worth of crying._

_"You will. We'll get to know each other."_

In the end, we did just that. I'd never anticipated that my mother would immediately begin screaming at Bella mere seconds after the announcement. She went on and on about how Bella must have hunted me down for our money.

_"Bella, I thought you were willing to give us a try?" I pleaded, we'd been on a few dates since our disastrous meeting with my family. We both got along well. She was smart, funny, and intellectually witty._

_"It won't work. We'll stay friends for the baby, but I don't want to date you." Her voice was strong, but I could see the tears forming in her eyes. My gut told me she didn't really want to end things with me like this, but she stayed strong, regardless._

_"What did I do?" It came out as a whisper._

_"Edward, I can't be with a man who thinks I'm with him for his money. And I can't see a future with a man who's family thinks the same thing." Tears began to fall from her face as she went on to explain, "When your mother started screaming, your first instinct wasn't to defend me. So please, don't bother lying to me and saying you don't feel that way. I know that you do. And I don't blame you, but I also don't want you. I'm sorry."_

_She shut her door in my face. At the time, I wanted to scream and yell at her that she was wrong, that I had never thought that, but the truth was that I couldn't. My mother's voice never left me from that day forward._

_We had just talked about going out at the end of the week. Bella had returned all of the money I'd spent on her up until that point. When I suggested we go to a nicer restaurant in the city, she said no...that she couldn't afford it. I offered to pay, but she continued to say no. I don't know what came over me to hurt her, but the next sentence had sealed our fate._

_"My mother was right about you, wasn't she?"_

I hadn't thought of those dark few weeks between us until after I heard Tanya and my mother's conversation. Part of me always wondered what would have happened had my family been supportive. Then, I reminded myself that it no longer mattered.

My father, Carlisle Cullen, was a well known surgeon in the Northwestern region of the country. When combined with the hefty inheritances left from my father's father, and his father's father, it was well known that my family were millionaires.

On the flip side, Bella was born to a flighty mother who took off with her when she was a toddler, and a man who made moderate means as the Police Chief of a small town.

That was how we ended up moving to Forks after college. Bella pleaded with me, saying she wanted to be near family. So after we both graduated from the University of Washington, we packed up, and moved. My parents didn't tell me they had planned to follow me, but they moved to the outskirts of Forks shortly after I bought my house.

My father was now the head of the local hospital, while I worked as a doctor in Pediatrics.

"Edward, you need to eat." My mother's voice broke me from my memories. She put a plate of food in front of me, but I just stared at it.

It was then that I realized most everyone had cleared out of my house. Tanya was nowhere to be seen...I assumed she was sleeping. Bella still sat in the same chair that she inhabited hours earlier. A few lingering officers hunched over notepads, computers, and phones.

My legs ached from non-use as I pushed myself off the bench I was sitting on.

"Bella?" She immediately looked up at me. We hadn't spoken to each other since the police arrived. She gave me her best frowny-smile while I took a seat at her feet and intertwined our hands.

Bella and I had always felt a connection to each other, but that's what happens when you have a child together.

"We'll find him," I whispered.

"He's alive, I feel it." Her voice was hoarse, but she pushed the words out anyways. "I'm his mother, I would know...right? I can't believe I didn't know...how could I not know? I'm his mother. What if I'm wrong again?" Her head fell as the tears started up again. Instinctively, I pushed up to the seat and wrapped my arms around her.

"We'll find him," I repeated over and over again as a mantra. I'm not sure who it was meant for more...her or me.

When I looked up a few minutes later, I noticed my mother and my wife, both wearing scowls on their faces, as they tried using the shadows of the doorway to conceal their location.

I didn't have the time to deal with them. I logically knew this must look horrible, but this was the mother of my now missing child. No one could imagine the pain we were going through but us.

"Don't wake them." I could hear the slightly muffled voice of my sister.

"Alice, Tanya can't see them like this. What will she think?" my mother scolded my sister.

"Their son is missing, Mom. Your grandson. I know you don't like her, but have some compassion." Alice's words were becoming clearer, and I hoped Bella wasn't hearing this.

Having my family in the same room as her had always been volatile, but I did not have the time or energy to handle any extra drama.

My eyes blinked open, and I realized the clock read 8:06 AM. The last time I saw a clock, it was nearly three. Bella was still curled onto my chest. If I weren't so uncomfortable from the angle we slept on that chair, I would have wondered how the two of us fit on it to begin with.

"Anything?" I asked.

Charlie came up behind my mother shaking his head "no".

"We have search parties out. A tip line has been set up, but so far nothing. Edward, if I learn anything, you know I'd come straight to you."

I nodded a thanks. I slowly got up from the chair, laying Bella down as gently as possible.

Tanya came around the corner and into the living room, her hair done with make-up on her face. I mentally reminded myself that she wasn't Nathan's mother, but even that didn't take the nauseous feeling out of my stomach.

"Good morning, sweetheart," she crooned, and I instinctively pushed her away. I was not sure why I did it, but I did.

She huffed and walked away with my mother. Once Nathan was found, I'd make it up to her, but right now she just wasn't my focus.

Bella woke up a few minutes later.

Charlie came in to inform us that the search parties were coming up empty, and despite a handful of tips, nothing posed useful yet. He kept saying "yet" like it mattered. We both knew that the more time elapsed the more likely he'd never be found.

"Edward, have you noticed anyone unusual around the house? More so then normal?" Charlie's question caught me off guard, but I answered no. He went on to explain that since my family was well known for money, it was possible that he was taken for that reason. At this point, he felt we were waiting for a ransom letter or call. I told him that I'd give any amount of money to have my son back.

I tried pushing Charlie into letting me join the search, but he kept telling me no. He explained when a ransom call came in, I needed to be here to answer it.

As night began to fall again, I noticed some of the officers started to act a little off. We still didn't have any word, and when I looked out the window, I noticed Charlie pulling up in his cruiser.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until I noticed Charlie head for Tanya.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'd like to take you to the station for a little while. I need you to give your statement again and answer the questions you couldn't yesterday," I heard the officer next to Charlie ask Tanya.

In three quick strides, I was at the other side of the room. I heard Bella gasp, and I knew the entire room's attention was now focused on what was happening here.

"Am I under arrest?" Tanya screeched as the officer told her no.

"Then why?" she questioned. I watched her face go from calm to hysterical in a blink of an eye. Even to me that seemed staged. Had she always been like that?

"Ma'am, you were the last known person to be with Nathan. Your words, at this point, are the most important. We just need to make sure we have it all down. You're not a suspect. This is for Nathan," he pushed, and Tanya relented.

From the doorway, I watched as they drove off with Tanya. Logically, I knew what the officer said sounded reasonable, but something didn't sit well.

"You should go with her." Bella's voice made me jump.

"No, I'm needed here in case they call. She'll be fine. They just have questions." I waved Bella off.

"Do you remember what I asked you when you first wanted me to meet her?"

I thought back to that day.

_"I met someone," I spoke as Bella sat at my dining table. I was nervous for some reason, my palms were sweaty, but I was excited. I had just told Tanya that I loved her for the first time, and I knew we were ready for this step._

_"Okay." Bella's face remained blank._

_"I'd like to introduce Nathan to her," I pressed on._

_"How long have you been seeing her?" Bella was always the calm and rational one._

_"About six months. It's serious. If it weren't, I wouldn't even bother asking..."_

_She shushed me, "Edward, I understand. I have only one question... do you trust her with our son?"_

_"Without a doubt." Bella gave me her blessing to introduce them, and asked that she be able to meet her in the near future, as well. Bella assured me she didn't want it to be awkward, but she wanted to know the other woman who would eventually becoming a strong fixture in her son's life. _

_I more than understood._

Looking back, it didn't take me long to realize which question she was referring to, so I nodded.

"Do you still feel that way?" her voice was now a whisper.

I didn't answer; I wasn't given the chance.

"You did this, you whore! You've always wanted my son, our money! You're not going to turn him against his own wife!" my mother screamed as she stormed to the doorway where we stood.

* * *

**:) I'm currently in a contest that is voting: You Can Quote Me On This: **.net/u/2309401/You_Can_Quote_Me_On_This **Take a look & vote **

**I'm co-hosting & judging the All Hallow's Eve Contest! We're accepting submissions until Sept 29th! **.net/u/2496726/

**My Rec for the Week is: Parachute by KitsuShel I found it & could not stop reading! **.net/s/6036478/1/Parachute

**Update in about a week**

**Reviews are by no means required, but I do send teasers in review replies**

**Find me on twitter: SammieLynnsMom**


	3. Chapter 3

**I wanted to thank everyone who has read, rec'd, and/or reviewed so far. It means a lot to me and I do my best to reply to any and all reviews or questions I get! **

**I'd like to thank kas90& stupidlamb118 for putting up with my comma obsession & tg10781 for being my lovely pre-reader. Also to her husband who helped me with a lot of the police side of things. **

**There will be a longer a/n at the bottom, but for now I don't own Twilight, I just wished I did so I could make Summit buy nicer wigs!**

* * *

Bella visibly jumped as my mom rushed to our location.

"Edward, you can't let her poison your mind! She's been nothing but a bitch since you introduced us to her. Now, she's trying to turn Tanya against you?" I raised my hand to silence her, but she kept on raving. "I'm sure you set all of this up. Let's feel bad for poor, lonely Bella. You know why you're alone? Because you're a whore! You stalked my son just so he could knock you up, I know you did!"

I looked up to see my father making his way down the stairs. His shoulders were rigid, and his eyes were wide in horror at my mother's words.

"Esme, that's enough!" my father barked, causing us all to jump. My father was known to be a gentle man, hard fast to principals and morals, but never one to raise his voice.

"Carlisle, I was just..." Before my mother could finish her thought, my father apologized to Bella and was now pulling my mother to their car. He told me he'd be by later to check on me, but for now, he was taking my mother home.

"Bella..." I turned just in time for her to put her hand up, signaling me to shut up.

"I don't wanna hear it. I'm gonna go look at Nathan's room. Let me know if anything changes." With that, Bella took off for the stairs. Her back was shaking, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to know she was crying.

I made my way back into the house and collapsed onto the sofa. I could hear officers talking but not what they were saying. I didn't know how long Tanya would be gone, or when Bella would come back downstairs. My sister took pity on me, and came to sit next to me, resting her hand on my knee.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" Alice asked.

I glared at her. I really didn't know what she was talking about, nor did I have the mental capacity to care.

"You should stick up for Bella more," she explained.

"You hated her just as much as, Mom. You've all of a sudden changed your mind?" It was not that I didn't want my family to like Bella. She was invited to many things that Nathan was, and it was always tense. I would have loved for that to go away. But here sat my sister, who was as Bella-hating as my mom, and I felt like she was being a hypocrite.

"Perhaps, but I was younger then. None of us gave Bella a chance. We've been doing things together, lately, when she doesn't have Nathan. Ya know, lunch, shopping, that sort of thing. Everything Mom said about her, well she's wrong. Bella's pretty awesome."

I nodded because I was speechless. I had no idea they were becoming friends. Not that I minded, I just didn't know. Truth is, I didn't know a lot of what was going on in Bella's life lately. We normally took a little time a day or two out of the month to catch up when we moved Nathan between houses, but I had been slammed at work lately, so Tanya was doing the exchanges.  
For the second time this week, I felt like a failure as a father.

"Enough self loathing. I see it in your face. Right now we focus on finding Nathan, and then maybe you should spend more time reconnecting with your son and his mother. Take a few days away from the hospital," Alice spoke her peace and stood up.

I watched as Alice headed for the stairs, but Bella started to descend them, instead.

"Edward, you said he wore his superman PJ's to bed, right?" she questioned, her face now clear. I nodded. "Then where are they? They aren't in his hamper, and I checked the one in his bathroom, too. And then, Tanya said he was wearing his blue jeans with the green plaid shirt and orange vest, right? The one Alice bought him as a joke, because you said you hated how hunter's dressed. It's hanging in his closet."

The uneasy feeling that had died down before had now returned.

I heard Tanya's voice before I saw her, my mother in tow.

"Thanks for answering your phone, Edward, I had to call your mother to come pick me up," her voice was laced with sarcasm.

"Where is my son, Tanya?" Bella's voice grew strong and confident.

"I don't know..." Tanya shrugged.

"Tanya, where are his Superman PJ's, and why is the outfit you said you put him in still in his closet?" Bella continued to press while Tanya's face went pale before she quickly recovered. I didn't want to believe the evidence stacking against my wife, but I saw Bella's point.

We all headed up stairs where Tanya couldn't find his pajamas, but then remembered it wasn't the green plaid and orange, it was the blue plaid and red. That outfit was missing, but Alice pipped up saying that she'd never bought him that. Tanya said she did, which I found funny since I'd never seen it, but we all let it drop when Charlie came to find us.

One of the women from the Quileute Reservations had spotted a man that looked out of place a few days back. She didn't recognize him and claimed she knew all the locals. Since it wasn't tourist season, he just didn't seem to fit, so she called to report him. She gave the police the best description she could and was currently working with a sketch artist Charlie had come in from Seattle PD.

The confusion between what he was or wasn't wearing had now been somewhat dropped, but I did have to call my dad to have him take my mother home after she started screaming at Bella again.

I noticed Alice had become Bella's biggest supporter. Tanya came to me crying profusely, going on and on about how she was sorry she got his clothes wrong, she was just so frazzled when the police showed up, and she was so worried about Nathan. I gave her a hug and told her it was okay. I understood her feeling rattled, I was too.

The day turned into night again with still with no word about Nathan. The woman who'd seen the "strange man" had finished giving her description. A composite sketch of the man was being plastered all over the area and added to the Amber Alert that had gone out after he was originally reported missing.

When I looked at the picture, I saw evil. We still didn't know if this man had anything to do with taking my son, but I couldn't help but feel biased. She described a man about six foot three, average build, probably around 190-195 lbs. He had sandy blond hair, cut short, and brown eyes. What she described for clothes sounded like hiker's clothes. He was driving an older blue Ford F-150. I had never been more thankful for old nosey women before in my life.

The next morning, Charlie showed up with three dogs in tow. Forks PD didn't have access to training K-9's. After the description the woman gave of the man looking like he was going hiking, he put in a few calls to Seattle and had a few sent down. Bella handed over his blanket for the dogs to smell, in hopes that they'd pick up his scent.

He explained to us that it was a long shot because so much time had elapsed, and he was sorry for not considering it sooner. He then asked that we both remained inside until the dogs were out of sight, he didn't want us to get our hopes up if the dogs picked up on something.

As hard as it was, both Bella and I waited inside, praying that more information would be found. Officer Newton told us the tip line had begun ringing off the hook since the fliers went up with the man's face. He said it was promising.

An hour or two went by with no word. After pleads from my sister, I went up to my bedroom for a shower and clean clothes. I was still in the same button-up and slacks I had left the hospital in four days prior. I realized it was now Friday.

I opened the door to see two suitcases on the bed with Tanya throwing things in each one.

"What are you doing?" I questioned as I rubbed my eyes. Exhaustion slowly taking over what was left of my strength.

"We leave in the morning, babe. Remember the Bed and Breakfast?" She continued to throw clothes in. I began racking my brain and then realized what she meant.

"I'm not leaving!" I was horrified by several thoughts at once. First, that Tanya seemed so heartless and callous. How could she could even fathom that I would go on a worthless vacation with her while my son was missing. I'd always felt that Tanya didn't know what it was like for me to be a parent, but that sealed that case. Secondly, I began questioning anything I had ever seen in her. I knew my mother loved her, but when this was all said and done, I wasn't sure how I viewed her. And lastly, that no one could know about this. I did not need the added drama.

"Of course we are! You need to get away. If anything changes, Charlie will call you. We need time for us, Edward." Tanya came up and put her arms around me, but I pushed her off.

"Tanya! My son is missing! That is M-I-S-S-I-N-G! I don't know if he's dead or alive, if he's hurt or scared, or hungry, and you think for one second that I'd think about going on a vacation? Are you out of your mind? I am NOT leaving."

I knew I was screaming, but when I turned around, I saw a lot of stunned faces.

My eyes immediately snapped to Bella's.

"You're going on vacation?" her voice was a little more than a whisper, but her eyes bore into me like she was looking at Satan himself. I had seen Bella upset before, hell, even angry, but nothing could describe the vile look of disgust she held for me now.

Before I could say anything, she fled.

Looking up, I watched my mother rush to Tanya. I didn't even know my mom was back at the house. Tanya was in tears, spouting things to my mom about how she was worried about me, and she just thought I needed a break.

The crowd at the door started to dissipate. My dad let me know that my brother, Emmett, and his wife, Rosalie, would be landing in town that night. They had been in Europe and relatively unreachable until this point. They called to check in, but once they found out what was going on, they told my dad they would catch a flight home as soon as possible.

When he left, I realized the only two people I was left with were my wife and my mother. Neither of which I wanted to deal with right now.

"Get out of my house," I turned my head, and ordered at them both.

"I'm your mother, Edward. Do not take that tone..."

I cut her off. "Both of you! I don't want you here. Tanya pack a bag, and stay with my mom. Get out NOW! Enjoy your vacation," I spat before heading into the bathroom and slamming the door.  
My son had been missing since Monday. In five short days, not only had my reason for living been stolen from me, but no one was who I thought they were anymore.

I stepped into the steaming shower, resolving that once I was clean and in fresh clothes I would find and apologize to Bella. Yet again!

* * *

**A/N:**

**~Update again within a week**

**~My O/S Bella's Platform is currently in a contest being voted on now **http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2309401/You_Can_Quote_Me_On_This

**~I have 2 O/S' in the Picture Says It All, Voting Opens Oct 6th **http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507750/A_Picture_Says_It_All

**~Submissions close Wednesday Night for the All Hallow's Eve Contest that I am judging/co-hosting **http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2496726/

**~Weekly Fic Rec: Ame Soeur by ange_de_l'aube **http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net /s/5971351/1/ Ame_Soeur

**~Twitter name is SammieLynnsMom**

**~Reviews are never required, but I do have a habit of sending teasers in them**


	4. Chapter 4

**I wanted to thank each and every single person that has reviewed! I love reading them and it's so fascinating to see what people have to say about the characters!**

**Also a HUGE thank you to FL95 who rec'd Blind Intentions in the latest "The Dick in Me" update! If you haven't read her story seriously check it out!**

**Thank you to my beta stupidlamb118 & my pre-reader tg10781!  
**

***I also failed to mention that, at times, there will be parts of this story that will be, imo, harder to read than the level of angst I've already set. As a result certain chapters will come with higher than normal warning and I will mark within a chapter certain areas for people to skim if they so choose! You will see that in the next chapter, but I wanted everyone to know it ahead of time so they know to watch out for any special warnings!*****  
**

**I do not own Twilight, if I did the Denali cast would have been a lot better!**

As the steaming hot water burned my skin, a million thoughts came crashing down on me like fire sent to me from my own personal hell.

First and foremost in my head were thoughts of Nathan. Where was he? How was he? Was he hurt? Could I have I helped him? Would we find him? Would we find him in time?

My thoughts then drifted to the woman who I had made cry way too many times in the past eight years. Bella was an amazing mother, a great friend, and an amazing person. Even though we didn't work, it didn't mean I wasn't thankful that my son was born to her. I could have ended up drunk with anyone else, but it was her. She was compassionate, caring, and understanding. I feared all of this was just pushing a greater gap between us. We were close, but then I got married. I guess time drifted without me realizing it until now.

Then there was the matter of my wife who I didn't even recognize moments ago. Who was this woman I vowed to love forever before God, my family, my son? How she thought I could just leave was beyond me. I hadn't been functioning for days and...

I punched the tiled wall in frustration. Too much was going wrong.

I shut the water off and dried myself off with the closest towel I could find. As the steam started to evaporate off the mirror I took a good, hard look at myself. I shook my head at my reflection; I was becoming the man I didn't want to be.

When I was asked to describe my dad in three words at the dinner recognizing his promotion, I chose loyal, moral, and family man. It was technically four words, but I didn't care.

When Carlisle Cullen stood behind you and your cause, you knew it would take treason before he'd step away. Once he got his hooks in an idea, he never wavered. His principals and morals were solid, resulting in an amount of compassion I could only be in awe of. However, the most important trait in him was that he was a husband and father first. He loved being a doctor, he loved his patients, and there were many times where he gave up sleep to finish things. He never once missed a baseball game or a parent teacher conference. He was there, because we were important and we knew it.

Looking at myself, I knew Nathan couldn't look at me like that.

A month ago he barreled into the house raving about how Bella had just signed him up for baseball. He was so excited and his first game was two weeks later.

Bella had texted me that day to remind me and went on to tell me Nathan had a surprise.

I didn't show up though, because I had a mound of paperwork on my desk and Tanya had started complaining about the long hours again. So instead of cutting out an hour early to watch my son play his first baseball game, I sat in my office doing paperwork that could have waited.

_I was a failure._

When I walked out of the bathroom, clad in only a towel, I was surprised to see my father sitting on the edge of my bed.

I nodded my head, so he knew he was acknowledged before I stepped into my walk-in closet and shut the door.

I found the closest thing to comfortable clothes I could, a simple t-shirt I'd had since college and some sweat pants, before walking back out.

"Not where you expecting to end up, huh?" He seemed to have read my thoughts through the bathroom door.

I sighed and took a seat next to him.

"Do you know the single thing I wished for when your mom gave birth to each of you?" The question was more rhetorical, because I really didn't know.

"Edward, I've always ever wanted you to be happy. Are you?" I felt so small under his stare, but I knew he wasn't doing it on purpose. My problem was that I didn't know how to answer that.

If you were to have asked me a week ago, I would have told you I was ecstatic. My career was heading in the right direction, I had a wife I loved more than anything, and a son I was very proud of. Now sitting here today, I didn't even know who I was anymore.

"I won't attempt to give you advice on Bella. You tried, and it didn't work. I know that. Right now none of that matters. I'm not sure what Tanya's motives were, Edward, but something is off. I don't know what it is. She could have absolutely no clue what happened to Nathan, but I don't believe it. Deep down I think you feel the same way. Right now, that is who we all need to focus on.

Rosalie and Emmett are here now and I've put Rose on detail keeping your mom and Tanya away from here. I love your mother very much, but I don't know who she is right now anymore than you are recognizing who Tanya is." My eyes snapped up to meet his.

"I'm not blind, Edward. The difference is that your mother and I will be fine. She's scared, worried, and protective of you. She always has been. You're her eternal baby. I think she's a little too worried about things and situations that don't concern her, but we love each other. That isn't going anywhere."

He chose that moment to walk out and I realized what he was saying.

Sadly, I didn't know if Tanya and I would be fine. In that moment I didn't care. Nathans birthday was in six days and I'd be damned if he wasn't going to be home by then.

I glanced at the clock and realized it was nearly midnight. Another day had gone by with no answers.

When I walked down stairs I felt like I was entering another house. Several officers were noisily talking back and forth, glancing down at papers as they did.

I saw Emmett in the background talking to someone when Bella caught my attention. The second her eyes met mine she smiled and raced up to me.

"Did they find him?" For once, maybe my prayers would be answered.

"No." Her smile faded. "But they got a tip that identified a man looking exactly like the picture at Seattle's Airport this morning."

"Why are you smiling then?"

She frowned. "Because it's something. The airport is getting images from security cameras right now for identification purposes. It's not much, but it's something."

"Bella, I just don't want us to get our hopes..." She cut me off.

"Listen, Edward; right now this is what I have," she stated forcefully. "It may be nothing, but it's something. Right now I'm living on hope. What else do we have?" And before my eyes she broke down again.

I wrapped my arms around her as she brought her head to my chest.

"I know, I'm sorry," I whispered into her hair.

The next several hours passed by excruciatingly slow. The sun began to rise as everyone awaited word.

Emmett had come over to me and apologized for not being here sooner, but I told him it wasn't his fault. We exchanged a single nod and hug, but said no more.

A little past nine Charlie walked in to announce it was the same man the woman had identified. He'd contacted the airline and we had a name; Garrett Randall. The flight he was boarding was on it's way to Alaska and he'd contacted their local authorities to pick him up for questioning.

At this point they didn't have enough to bring him back to Washington, but if he was found to be connected to Nathans disappearance that would change.

For the first time, I saw Bella smile and even laugh once or twice. She just kept telling me to have hope.

Tanya had called me a few times, but I continued to ignore her calls.

With everything going right I should have known the worst wasn't over. Charlie showed back up to the house that evening with a scowl on his face.

He asked Bella and I to take a seat on the couch.

"I don't know how to say this, and I know how formal I should stay, but I can't. About an hour ago I got a call from Seattle PD. They found a boy, matching the description of Nathan. I tried pulling some strings for a picture so I could identify him, but they won't budge. We need to get you both down there to see."

"Where is he Charlie?" He wouldn't have sat us down for this. His rough cop exterior started to falter.

"The morgue. I'm sorry. I tried so we didn't have to go, but they'll only show either of you. He came in as a Johnny Doe. They said the description matched. We can go at any time. It could not be him, but we all have to be prepared for otherwise."

The slow motion tunnel vision from the first day had returned. It took nearly fifteen minutes before Bella could form a coherent sentence. I quickly changed into some jeans and I situated Bella and I in my car.

Charlie continued to tell us that we should just drive in the back of his cruiser, but I couldn't have that. I was driving and nothing was changing my mind. We'd get there faster anyways.

The drive to Seattle was four hours in total. A four hours hell of not knowing.

My family had piled into Emmett's SUV and were following. I saw my mom in the passenger seat, but I had no idea if Tanya was with them or not. I really didn't care.

As a doctor, I'd encountered dead bodies before, but nothing prepared me for possibly identifying my own son.

When we arrived at the hospital Charlie continued on his trend of bad news. The Alaskan police had shown up at the man's house, but it didn't appear that he'd been home at all. When they checked the security footage from the tapes at their airport it appeared that he got off his flight to Alaska just to board another one back to Seattle. By the time Charlie knew it was too late to have him picked up at the airport, so for all we knew he was anywhere in Seattle.

I was worried Bella was going to buckle after the second biggest blow we'd been given in a matter of hours, but she was remaining strong. She wouldn't speak, but I held her hand as we took the elevator down.

Once inside we both opted to stand behind a glass area they had, so all that had to happen was a sheet pulled back.

The tension in the air was suffocating. My heart was beating out of my chest and if I listened closely, I could hear Bella's too. The entire room was silent, the only two people in there were Bella and I.

While everything was being situated I just kept thinking about the last time I had seen Nathan. It was a quick kiss goodbye, not nearly what it would have been if I knew it was the last time I would see him. Had I done enough? Did he know how much I loved him? How special he was to me.

I didn't realize it until I wiped my cheek, but tears were falling from my eyes as well as Bella's. With her body clutching onto me for dear life, we watched as the attendant opened the cold steel door and pulled the table out. A blue basic hospital sheet covered the boy's body and face. Staring at that sheet, not knowing if it was my last chance to tell my son I loved him or not, I just felt pain. My mind, my body, my soul was taken over by a blaze of fire that was lite from the inside out. All of the emotions I had been trying to keep a hold of just crashed on top of me, but I knew in that moment it was time to face the truth.

He looked up at us.

My eyes glanced down to Bella. Her eyes were bloodshot, her lip looked torn open by the excessive biting she has been doing, and she was visibly shaking. Her eyes bored into me a silent plea to be the strong one, because she wasn't going to make it.

No amount of medical training could have prepared me for what we saw after I had looked up and nodded that we were ready.

The face of the unknown little boy came into view Bella gasped before falling to the ground in a fit of tears and screams.

**A/N:**

**~Update in about 3 or 4 days. I won't wait a full week for this one. **

**~Reviews are not required, but I do include teasers in my replies!  
**

**~I have 2 O/S' in the Picture Says It All, Voting Opens Oct 6th **http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507750/A_Picture_Says_It_All

**~Voting is now open for All Hallow's Eve Contest that I am judging/co-hosting **http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2496726/

**~Weekly Rec's:**

1. **Agent 00hot by maxandmo** Seriously had me ROLLING! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5817101/1/Agent_00hot

2. **Parachute by KitsuShel** Honestly I want the SDWard! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6036478/1/

3. **Confessions by morethanmyself** Seriously **under-reviewed** & AMAZING! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6198159/1/Confessions

**~On twitter I'm SammieLynnsMom**

**~If you are on twitter I encourage you to come out and play with TwiFicTrivia on Tuesday nights at 9 PM EST/8 PM CDT It's a blast! For details check out the blog: http:/ twifictrivia(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

**~For those reading my new mini-story More Than Just A Baby it'll update around 11 EST. It will be completed on Friday night!**


	5. Chapter 5

**First and foremost, thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, and rec'd my story! It means a lot that so many people are enjoying it!**

**Big shout outs to stupidlamb118 for making me sound smart and tg10781 for pre-reading this! Also for letting me pick her husband's brain for the police side of things!**

**I talked in Ch 4 about warnings that would pop up in certain chapters for various reasons. Well here is your first warning. I will smak off the first section for those who choose to skim. There is graphic depiction of a deceased child. You have been warned!**

()()()()()WARNING()()()()()  
When I started my college career I knew part of my classes would entail working on cadaver's.

When I started working in a hospital I knew I would not be able to save everyone.

Being a doctor was my career-as a result I've seen several dead bodies.

However, there was nothing in the world that could have prepared me for the moment where a Coroner pulled back the sheet on this little boy.

His hair was matted with mud and dirt. There were slices on his face where it was obvious that he'd been attacked. Part of his left ear was torn off. What should have been white skin was bruised and darkened.

The little boy that laid on that table went through hell. I had no idea what the last bit of his life must have been like, but all I wanted to do was hug his soul.

However, that boy was not mine.

He was not my son.

_He was not our son._

I looked down at Bella who couldn't hold herself together.

It was very obvious to us, they had the wrong boy, but Bella wasn't prepared for that scene. In our hurry to get here, it never occurred to me that she hadn't even seen a dead body before.

()()()()()WARNING OVER()()()()()

I decided that if we had to do this again, I would push for her to wait. I didn't think she'd listen, but I would try nonetheless.

We walked out of the room and I shook my head at Charlie.

Relief washed over his face.

Bella was back to basically a catatonic state. I asked questions, but she just gave me a blank stare. At this point, I would have killed to be a mind reader. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't.

We got back to where my family was waiting and I answered them with a shake of my head.

Everyone started smiling and breaths of air that were being held were released, but they didn't get it. Now we were back at square one.

The only thing we had was the name of a man who was supposedly in Seattle. Somewhere. Anywhere.

Garrett Randall.

For the life of me, I'd hate those two names for all of eternity. He could be innocent, but I didn't care.

I held Bella's hand all the way to my car and got her into the passenger seat. I told her I was going to talk with my family for a few and then we'd get back on the road to home. She nodded, but her eyes remained vacant. They were no longer filled with the lively woman I'd met almost eight years ago.

Nathan's birthday was next week and I wasn't sure if we were going to survive it or not.

Emmett clapped his hand to my back and we shared a nod. Rosalie walked up and gave me a hug.

"Edward, I'm sorry." My mother's voice rose so I could hear her, but really I wasn't in the mood for her apologies. "I'm just worried about you and Nathan. I'll try and be nicer, okay?"

Fake. That was the only way to describe the words coming out of her mouth.

I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

Tanya, who I hadn't really spoken to since that night, was standing behind my mom, staring down at her hands. I motioned for her to follow me and we walked out of earshot of my family.

"Look, I know you don't understand. You're not tied to Nathan like I am. Like Bella is. But common sense, Tanya..." I let out a push of air. I was frustrated that I even needed to have this conversation to begin with.

"I know and I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I really thought we'd find him already and I feel guilty. I mean if I had stayed, maybe..." her voice trailed off. I didn't really know how to respond to that. I knew she felt guilt, but so did I.

"Can I come back home?" she asked and I nodded.

"But lay off of Bella. She's done nothing to deserve what you and my mom are doing to her." I gave her a pointed look to ensure she knew I was serious.

"What if she wants you back?" Tanya's voice cracked and I looked up in anger. If Tanya's fear was that I was going to leave her for Bella, I was going to be pissed. I didn't have time for jealousy, my son was missing.

"She broke up with me. We're friends and the parents of Nathan. We've been together for four years and married for three of those. You're really bringing this up now?" I barked at her and she jumped back.

"Your mom..." I raised my hand to cut her off. Of course my mother would plant things in Tanya's head.

"Listen to me. There is nothing going on between Bella and I. Period. End of story."

I pulled her in for a tight hug and placed my lips to hers.

The kiss was soft and sweet, but it wasn't as comforting as I had hoped.

"Did you wanna drive back with us?" I asked and Tanya's eyes lit up as she nodded.

When I got back to my car, Bella's position hadn't changed. When she saw Tanya was going to ride back with us she immediately stood up and moved to the backseat.

Despite Tanya saying it was no big deal, Bella brushed her off and moved.

The entire way back to Forks was silent. I held Tanya's hand across the console while we listened to music. When I saw a McDonald's I ordered through the drive thru, but Bella opted out of eating.

I wanted to push her to at least get a shake or something, but I remembered what I was like after seeing my first dead body. It took me a day or two before I touched food again.

It was incredibly late by the time we arrived back at Forks.

The officers we had left before were still there. My family was behind us, but started dissipating to their own houses.

Tanya walked up to me and wrapped her arms around mine while asking about bed.

I looked up to see Bella's face turn uncomfortable before announcing she'd go to her home for the night. Since Nathan had disappeared Bella hadn't left my house.

Alice and Jasper were the last to leave, but not before hearing Bella say she was leaving.

"Bella, you shouldn't be alone. Come to our house or I can go with you to yours," Alice pushed, but Bella shook her head no.

"I'm alone." She shook her head, "No, that didn't sound right. I mean I want...yeah I want to be alone right now."

Alice's face looked perplexed, but she didn't push.

My heart broke for Bella, because after eight years I recognized that face.

She was right the first time; she was essentially alone.

She always had Nathan, and now he was gone.

"I'll be back in the morning. If anything changes, well, you know my number." Bella turned around, got in her truck, and drove away.

I told Tanya I'd meet her in our bedroom and Alice went to get Jasper to leave.

I walked to the edge of my driveway to rid it of the trash cans currently scattered around. I wasn't sure who took my trash out, but someone did.

When I looked up I saw Bella's truck parked on the side of the road. She was far, but when I squinted my eyes I could make out her hunched down form shaking.

I made a move to walk towards her, but she must have seen me because she chose that moment to drive away.

When I got back into my house I felt awful.

I asked the officers if there were any changes, but they said no. Seattle PD had put out a BOLO for Garrett, so now it was a waiting game there. The tip line was still lighting up so they were also busy following those leads as well.

After assuring me they'd knock on my door if anything changed, I reluctantly made my way up the stairs to my bedroom.

Upon opening the door I saw Tanya sitting with her back up against the headboard in a simple cotton pajama set; she was reading a book. She looked up and smiled at me.

After a quick shower and change of clothes I snuggled into bed next to my wife.

My mind quickly flew to Bella, though. Thoughts of her crying all alone in her house made my own heart cry.

Tanya started to kiss at my neck, but I pushed away.

"Edward, please..." her voice pleaded. "It'll relieve stress."

She had a point.

"You're on top," I stated and rolled to my back.

I let her have her way with me before falling asleep.

When I woke up the next morning Tanya was still passed out next to me.

A glance at the clock revealed it was almost ten.

I shot out of bed, internally chastising myself for sleeping so late. I knew I was tired, but I needed to get downstairs as soon as possible.

I threw on some close and pounded down the stairs, leaving my still naked wife sleeping.

"Are you sure?" I heard Charlie's voice speaking into the phone. "Okay, when?" And again. "We'll be ready for him."

I looked at him to see what was going on. He explained to me that Seattle PD had picked Garrett Randall up and were escorting him to Forks now.

I raged with anger that no one had gotten me, but Charlie assured me Bella flew up the stairs an hour ago to let me know.

I glanced around the room to find Bella, but it wasn't until I checked my patio that I found her.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked, anger still evident in my voice.

"I tried." Her face was red and she was staring at my feet, "I knocked, but no one answered. So I opened the door, but..." her voice trailed off. I then realized what she saw.

"I'm sorry." I wasn't sure why I was apologizing, but I felt like I needed to.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you're married. I just didn't know how to get your attention. Anyways, it'll be a few hours until he gets here, and then they don't even know if it'll help."

I nodded and set off in search of something to eat.

The next few hours passed by slowly and the tension between Tanya and Bella were hitting an all time high.

Alice came back over and rallied in Bella's corner while continuing to shoot me dirty looks. I didn't get it.

I had a feeling more was going on then I knew, but I didn't have the patience to figure it out.

When Garrett arrived to Forks, Charlie let us know, but disappeared to the station to question him.

"Anything yet?" Tanya asked and I shook my head no. I kept staring at my cell phone, willing it to ring.

"So who do they have?" she asked.

"A guy named Garrett Randall. He was seen in Forks around the same time." When I looked up I saw Tanya's face blanch before her composure returned.

"Do you know him?" I questioned and she shook her head no.

"No, no one I know," she rushed out.

"Anyways, Charlie is talking to him now."

Tanya stepped away to speak with my mom. When I saw Bella's face, I watched her shooting a murderous look towards Tanya.

The wait was excruciating, but by the time Charlie got back to us, he explained that he was sure he knew something.

Garrett was very evasive, didn't have a real or logical reason for being in Forks, couldn't explain why he was flying randomly, and so forth. He told us they were waiting on his phone and bank records to be faxed in.

"They can do that?" Tanya popped into the conversation and Charlie explained they could pull anything they needed as long as he was considered a suspect.

Tanya nodded and walked off.

Darkness was continuing to encompass the sky, but I wasn't giving up hope.

There was nothing saying Nathan was dead.

If Charlie could get Garrett to talk we'd find him.

We'd bring him home.

I had dozed off on the couch when I felt Charlie poke me.

"Edward, I need to speak with you."

I was groggy as hell, but I nodded as I sat up. I glanced over to the chair and saw Bella's sleeping form.

"What time did you go to work that morning?" he asked.

"My shift started at six AM, so about five-thirty AM. Why?"

"We were looking at Garrett's phone records and well, he made a call around seven that morning. It only lasted about ten seconds."

"To who?" Charlie now had my full and undivided attention.

"This house."

**A/N- Chapter 6 mid-week**

**~Reviews are not required, but I do include teasers in my replies!**

**~Voting is now open for All Hallow's Eve Contest that I am judging/co-hosting http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2496726/**

**~I have 2 O/S' in the Picture Says It All, Voting Opens Oct 6th http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507750/A_Picture_Says_It_All**

**~Weekly Rec is Pistols and Petticoats by saltire884 This fic has literally stolen my heart! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6294495/1/Pistols_and_Petticoats**

**~On twitter I'm SammieLynnsMom**

**~If you are on twitter I encourage you to come out and play with TwiFicTrivia on Tuesday nights at 9 PM EST/8 PM CDT It's a blast! For details check out the blog: http:/ twifictrivia(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**


	6. Chapter 6

**First off THANK YOU to everyone who has read, reviewed, and/or rec'd my story! The response from the last chapter in just the first day was astounding! I'm humbled to be part of this fandom!**

**Thank you to my beta stupidlamb118 and my pre-reader tg10781 for putting up with me!**

**Thank you to all the amazing authors on twitter lately that I have been in WC's with lately, ya'll make writing so much easier!**

**I do not own Twilight, if I had Edward & Bella would have not only had hot vampire sex, but I would have actually written it ;)  
**

"I don't understand. You looked at our phone records before, right?"

I saw where Charlie was going with this, but wasn't sure I was following on the same page.

"Well, we did, but a quick call like that makes it look like a wrong number. So I sat down and compared the sets. There aren't any more links, but I did notice calls coming and going out of the house to a strange Alaskan number."

"Tanya's family probably." I brushed it off. Tanya grew up in Alaska, so naturally she still knew people there. Her parents and sisters to name a few.

"I know those numbers Edward. This one was different. It's to a phone that was pre-paid, no trace, and no longer active."

I sighed.

The more he talked the more I knew he was going after Tanya.

At this point, I didn't believe it. Or I didn't want to believe it. I wasn't sure which, but I knew this would end in a blow up either way.

"So what does this mean?" I asked as I rubbed my hands over my face.

"We're taking her in again, Edward. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"I appreciate that Charlie."

He nodded and then I heard it. Heard her.

Tanya screaming that she had nothing to do with any of this and that she wasn't going back to the station.

Bella started to stir and I prayed they got Tanya out of here so I could explain this to Bella.

"Edward, tell them! Tell them they can't keep dragging me down to the station for nothing. They're wasting your time, Nathan's time!" she continued to bellow.

By this point Bella was wide awake and sending more death glares at Tanya.

"Tanya if..." She didn't let me finish my thought.

"You don't think. Edward I loved that boy. He was your everything which made him my everything, too!"

A quick glance at Bella and her eyes widened.

"What do you mean loved? Loved as in past tense, loved as in dead, Tanya?" Bella lunged, tackling her to the floor.

If you'd had blinked you would have missed it, no one was fast enough to pull Bella way. She looked like a mad woman. Her legs on each side of Tanya's chest, both hands pounding into her face like it was the right of her life. Incoherent words filled the house from both women.

It took Charlie, another officer, and myself to pull them apart.

Tanya's face was red and bloody, while Bella's hands were filled with clumps of strawberry blonde hair.

I gasped when I saw Tanya, her face was already starting to swell from Bella's beating. Charlie was pulling Bella to the aside to explain that he should be arresting her, to which Tanya screamed out that she wanted to press charged.

"How dare you! He's my son. Don't tell me he's your everything. He IS my everything you self centered bitch!" Bella screamed out at her.

_I had never seen Bella so angry before, and it actually scared me._

Her brown locks were tangled, sweat beads had formed on her forehead, and her eyes.

Damn, her eyes could kill you in a glance.

"That's enough!" Charlie spoke with authority as they continued to escort Tanya out of the house.

"Bella what were you thinking? If Tanya presses charges my hands are tied." The worry on Charlies face was evident.

"I don't care dad, she did this! I know she did," Bella all, but yelled. She was attempting to calm herself when I walked over.

"I won't let her have you arrested." I'd spent eight long years letting Bella be thrown to the wolves, I owed her this.

"Edward, you brought her into our lives. You brought her into Nathans life. And when this is all said and done, are you still going to be able to live with yourself? Throw me in jail, I don't care, but she did this. Mark my words." Bella fumed and stormed off.

Unlike the last time, Bella and I opted to go down to the station and wait there for any information.

I wasn't originally going to, but when Bella announced she was, I knew I had to.

My wife versus my baby mama.

_Fuck! We belonged on Maury!_

Bella's words played in my head on the entire drive down there. What if she was right? Would I be able to live with myself? Probably not.

At the station we both waited in the lobby. Just waiting for any news. A door towards the back of the station opened and I saw him. Garrett was in cuffs and screaming obscenities at the officers.

Simultaneously, Tanya exited another room.

If you were to blink, you would have missed it.

Recognition flashed in both of their eyes. One of the officer's ask Garrett if he knew Tanya.

"No, but I'd like to fuck her," he answered crudely.

Looking back, I should have made a bigger deal of the glance. In the moment, I ignored it when Garrett didn't cop to knowing her. In my mind I assumed he'd sell her out, if she had anything to do with it. Criminals didn't have a sense of loyalty, right? That's what I was banking on anyways.

"Just tell me where my son is." Bella's voice was confident, but pleading.

Garrett's eyes poured right through hers.

"I don't know, sweetheart. Cute boy, though. I'd try the big open sea if I were you. It was an awfully long fall."

I stormed through the station, but not before they got Garrett behind a closed door.

I fought to get at him, but lost.

Bella had collapsed onto the floor and Charlie told me he had confessed to it all.

I don't even remember getting back to my house.

Bella sat next to me on the couch while we heard Charlie recount his confession.

"He told us Nathan was picked at random. He said he was bored and just passing through. We asked if there was anyone else involved, but he said no. When he saw him at the bus stop he reacted and grabbed him. He had the description of his clothes right. He then said he put him in a bag and zippered it up. He drove out to the La Push cliff and..."

Charlie didn't finish because Bella went ballistic.

"He's not dead, I'm his mother, I would know. Dad, he's not dead!" she kept repeating over and over again while she paced the living room floor.

"Bella..."

"No Edward, he's not..."

"Bel-"

"NO! HE IS NOT DEAD!"

And then she fell.

And then my world fell.

We had our answer.

Days passed and our families began pushing at us to hold a memorial.

I accepted this fate, but Bella hadn't.

Everyone who asked was given the same answer, "When Bella agrees."

Bella didn't leave my living room floor for days.

She just rocked back and forth, repeating over and over that he wasn't dead.

Tanya asked if we should commit her.

I barked a 'no' and stormed off.

Bella was my friend. My son's mother. And for that, I was protective of her.

I had never believed in striking a woman before, but I thought about it.

Even though Tanya was cleared of any wrong doing I still wasn't able to look at her the same way.

She was not the woman I thought I knew.

I had even moved into the guest bedroom because the idea of sleeping next to her turned my stomach.

Tanya went crying to my mom who came storming at me.

I had never told my mother off before, but there was a first time for everything.

_"You can't let that tramp get into your mind Edward, Tanya is your wife. You took a vow..."_

_"First off, mother Bella is not a tramp. One day you're going to have to understand we both made made a mistake. A mistake that brought us Nathan, which I will be forever grateful for. And secondly, if you love Tanya so much why don't you marry her?"_

_"Edward, I just want to see you happy. You and Tanya were happy before, maybe it's time you two start discussing children."_

_My blood turned cold at the mere mention of somehow replacing Nathan. I completely lost it._

_"Get the FUCK out of my house! I do not want to see you, I do not want to hear your voice, I want you GONE NOW!"_

_I threw open the door and pointed._

_She looked shocked, but stormed off muttering something about she hadn't raised me like this. I wasn't able to catch it all, but I also didn't care._

Tanya spent her time staying out of my way while Alice would come over to help with household chores I couldn't keep up with.

The worst day was Nathans birthday.

The Heaven's opened up above and screamed with it's fury.

We saw sleet, hail, flooding rains, and howling winds.

The power would flicker on and off, but still Bella never moved.

She just kept saying that he was alive.

I wanted so badly to believe it.

I wanted so badly to trust in whatever hope she had.

But I couldn't.

Everything pointed towards his death and nothing towards his life.

Charlie never admitted thow he got the confession so quickly, I assumed he put a gun to his head.

"He's eight years old now..." Bella whispered when I got down on the floor to sit next to her. It was officially the day after what would have been Nathan's eighth birthday.

The power had just come back on again.

"Bella. He's not..." She didn't let me finish.

She never let me finish.

"He needs our help. But no one is looking for him anymore."

My heart shattered again when she looked up into my eyes. The vacant stare I was so used to seeing these past weeks were replaced by nothing. Not even a twinkle of the woman Bella was before. When Nathan died, Bella died too.

Charlie had come over to try and convince Bella to leave my house, but she needed to find her own strength. I would give her that time. It hadn't even been a week.

The phone went off at exactly 12:58 AM, Friday morning.

It was my father.

"Edward, I need you to come in, now," my father rushed.

I was about to interrupt him and explain that I didn't care how slammed the hospital was, there was not a single patient important enough to make me come in.

"Edward it's Nathan. Nathan is here. He's alive, but barely. Edward you need to get here NOW!"

My father hung up the phone.

I dropped the phone.

My eyes flickered to Bella.

The first real emotion I had seen on her face in days; confusion.

"They found him."

I'd never seen Bella move so quickly, but I blinked and she was in front of me.

"Where is he?" Bella pushed, catching the attention of Tanya who was cleaning the kitchen.

"The hospital. He's alive, Bella. We have to go, we have to go now."

My brain kicked into hyper-drive realizing my father's word.

_"He's alive, but barely."_

We showed up to the hospital in sleep clothes, neither one of us cared.

The second we made it through the doors I was greeted by Nurse Weber. She always manned the reception desk at the ER on nights.

She immediately pointed down the hall and I sprinted.

"Bella wait here..." But she pushed past me.

Nothing could have prepared us for what we saw this time.

Our beautiful little boy, hair matted with dirt and mud, scrapes on his hands. He literally looked like skin and bones.

But it wasn't like last time; he had a pulse.

My father pulled us out to explain that one of the boys from the Reserve was caught out in the storm and sought shelter. He stumbled on a cabin no one even knew existed and that was where he found Nathan.

He had tried to wake him, but he couldn't. So instead of waiting, he picked Nathan up and ran him to the nearest house about three miles away.

Nathan was severely dehydrated and under-nourished. He didn't appear to have any broken bones. A CT scan and X-Rays were being ordered to make sure there were no injuries they couldn't see.

He was currently on an IV of saline to hydrate him and an IV of nutritional formula to fill his body with the proper nutrients and vitamins needed.

We would wait until he was awake before deciding the best route for a diet. He would need to gain weight, but gaining too fast could be just as harmful as losing weight.

Bella and I walked back into his room and each took one of his hands. As much as I wanted to will him awake, I knew his body needed time. We didn't know why he was in a coma state, there were many factors.

"You were right," I whispered. "I'm sorry, I should have listened."

"It doesn't matter now. We have a long road to recovery though, but we'll get there. He'll get there." Our loose hands intertwined forming a triangle with Nathan's.

I realized that was the most Bella had spoken in days, outside of her mantra, but she was right.

We had no idea what Nathan was exposed to before he was found.

I'd need to ask my dad for a referral for a child psychologist and dietitian at the very least.

I saw the door inch open and a man's head pop in.

His hair was dark with even darker skin. I immediately recognized that he was one of the boys from the reservation.

"I just wanted to see how he was?" His words came out more like a question.

"Where you?" Bella asked and he nodded.

She rushed up and hugged him.

"Thank you so much."

Bella stepped back and took both Nathan and my hands again.

"Thank you." We shared a nod.

"I was gonna head home, but do you mind if I check in on him tomorrow?"

Bella and I agreed.

"Thank you again..."

"Jacob. Jacob Black."

"Thank you, Jacob."

A few minutes later a nurse came in to wheel Nathan away for his tests.

Bella broke down so I put my arms around her.

I knew he'd be fine, but I understood Bella's anxiety.

He'd be back though.

_Our son was alive. _

**A/N**

~**Update again in about a week**. I can't decide if I like Sunday or Monday better, if you have a preference lmk.

~A special thanks to **mamacat20 **for giving me the idea to expand the "fight" scene to include clumps of hair! xoxo

**~Two most common questions lately have been with I do a Bella Point of View and how many chapters.**

1. The main story will be told in only Edward's POV. I will probably do Bella's POV in certain sections for outtakes or review replies.

2. I originally planned on 25 is chapter, but it's looking more like 30-35 chapters.

**~On Twitter I am SammieLynnsMom**

**~I have 2 O/S' in the Picture Says It All**, Voting Closes Oct 13th http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507750/A_Picture_Says_It_All

**~Weekly Rec is: Of Kith and Kin by Chicklette **I just found this and it's AMAZING! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6148438/1/Of_Kith_and_Kin

**~If you are on twitter I encourage you to come out and play with TwiFicTrivia on Tuesday nights at 9 PM EST/8 PM CDT It's a blast! For details check out the blog: **http:/ twifictrivia(dot)blogspot(dot)com/


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, and rec'd this story out! It seriously means more to me than you could ever know!**

**Thanks to stupidlmab118 for betaing & tg10781 for pre-reading. **

**I do not own Twilight, if I did Bella would have never kissed a dog!  
**

Nathan was alive.

_"Bella, I know we talked about this before, but I just want to make sure you haven't changed your mind." I knew in my heart I could never miss the birth of my child, but given the hell my family had recently put her through, I wouldn't have blamed her if she said no._

_"No, you're his father. You can be there, but no one else."_

_I knew that meant waiting to call my family. I also knew they would give me hell for it, but it was a price I was willing to pay._

_"Thank you." I really was thankful for Bella. My family hadn't made her pregnancy easy, but she continued to give me as much access as she could._

_She nodded and started to stand from the table. We'd met at a small coffee shop we both liked._

_I moved to help her, but my eyes caught her gripping the table in a painful looking manner._

_"Bella?" I questioned. Then I saw her face, twisted in pain._

_"Um..." she tried to breathe, but my eyes trailed down to see water at her feet._

_The medical portion of my brain kicked in. Bella was in labor. Bella was in labor and we needed to get to the hospital._

_Holy GOD Bela was in labor!_

_The entire time she was pregnant she made me swear to uphold her birth plan. She had a set way she wanted things to go and I promised I would do what I could to ensure it happened exactly how she envisioned it._

_While I drove to the hospital she would grip my spare hand every few minutes._

_I was speechless._

_I had only seen child birth in movies before, but then the actors were always married and in love. That didn't apply to us._

_When we got Bella to the room in labor and delivery, she scoffed when I offered to stand outside while she changed._

_The next five hours were hard._

_Bella had opted to go drug-free so she was in a lot of pain. She told me on more than one occasion that she'd wished we'd never met. I continued to keep her cup filled with ice chips, rubbed her back when she asked, and let her mangle my hands at will._

_After five hours of hard and active labor came another hour of pushing, eventually bringing Nathan Andrew Cullen into the world. He was 9 lbs 3 oz and 22 inches long. He had my green eyes and Bella's face. He was perfect and he was ours._

_I kissed her hair and whispered a thank you._

_A few hours later once I had Bella sleeping and Nathan calmly in my arms, I called our families._

_Biggest mistake of the day..._

"Edward," my father called, breaking me from my thoughts.

He motioned for me to follow him.

I stared down at Bella's sleeping form. Nathan still wasn't back yet and I'd sworn to her that the second he was I'd wake her.

"How bad is it?" I asked my dad seriously. I hadn't gotten my hands on his chart yet, but I needed to know.

"Not yet. I have something more concerning to talk to you about."

"Okay," I replied, my voice sounded wary.

"When Nathan came in, well... it was his clothes that he came in. He was in his pajamas."

My eyes immediately shot up.

"You're sure? It wasn't just underwear or an undershirt?" I pushed, but secretly I knew the answer. The truth that had been staring me in the face for over a week. The truth that I didn't want to admit.

"Edward, naivety doesn't suit you, son," Carlisle deadpanned.

I nodded.

"I informed Charlie, he said he was going to look into it. We won't know exactly what happened until he wakes up, praying that he still remembers. He has a small skull fracture that should self heal. His right arm also has a small fracture, it won't need a cast, but it'll be in a sling for a while. He's severely underweight and dehydrated, but we're using IVs to resolve that. His brain is functioning, but he's in a self-induced coma-like state. We won't know the long term effects until he wakes up." He sighed. "If he wakes up."

I shot off the wall I had been using for support.

"He'll wake up. He has to wake up. Right? Dad, tell me he's going to wake up!" I collapsed onto the floor, the weight of the situation finally overtaking me.

It took my dad and my brother to get me off the floor that night.

I later found out that when they went to arrest Tanya she was gone. We assumed that when she watched Bella and I fly out of the house to the hospital that had given her enough warning to grab what she could and go. In her rush she was clumsy so they had reason to believe she had fled to Alaska. She was being looked for there.

Charlie then explained that Garrett's story had changed since Nathan was found. He told me it was better saved for another day. I thanked him for all he had done.

Nathan was wheeled into a new room in PICU. He needed more care than the average hospital patient, but not enough to warrant the ICU.

Rules of the PICU stated no overnight visitors, but being on the staff with your father in charge had its perks.

Each day felt like it got longer and longer.

Getting Bella to leave was nothing short of a miracle, but Alice would pull her away for new clothes and some food.

She kept apologizing to Nathan like it was her fault.

No one had told her yet that really, in truth, it was mine.

I hadn't quite worked up the courage yet, but I would. Making sure none of the nurses talked about it was my biggest challenge, but somehow a week passed without her knowing.

Jacob popped in a few times, talked to Bella quietly, but for the most part she seemed to ignore him. He'd ask me for reports on how he was doing and I'd be honest, but he didn't sit well with me. He was a nice enough guy, but I just didn't take an immediate liking to him. His father apparently knew Charlie, so of course, they were all over each other. Charlie was never a fan of me, but he was much better at being civil to me then my family ever was to Bella.

My mother had visited at Nathan in his room a few times, but I did my best to ignore her. She did attempt to apologize to me, but I walked away. I wasn't ready to hear anything she had to say, but I wouldn't deny her access to Nathan.

Charlie kept me updated on the search for Tanya as he got in new information.

The Alaskan Police were watching Tanya's parents house along with her sisters. All known credit cards and bank accounts were also being monitored, along with her cell phone.

The night before Nathan would end up waking up, Bella and I had both found ourselves back at my house.

She told me she was stopping by to pick up some stuff for Nathan. She had it in her head that maybe if she'd brought a few of his favorite things, like his blanket and stuffed dragon, that when he woke up he wouldn't be so scared.

_"Daddy, I forgot my dragon at moms!" Nathan wailed after I picked him up one day. He was about five. _

_"Nathan I'm not turning around, don't you have a dragon at my house?" I asked. We were already on our way to Port Angeles to pick up a gift I had ordered for Tanya. _

_"No," He continued to sob._

_I looked in the rear view mirror and saw a devastated little boy. _

_During our time shopping I had picked up the necklace I had, had made and was about to lead us back to my car when we passed a small toy shop._

_I looked down at Nathan who hadn't missed the storefront either. _

_"Come on," I nudged him towards the door. _

_We left that day with a new stuffed dragon and blanket, both of which were special only to my house. The dragon and blanket he had, had before stayed special only to Bella's. _

I didn't mind, since Rosalie had offered to sit with Nathan. He was never alone, ever.

After I had showered and changed, I made my way down the stairs to wait for Bella. I wasn't sure how long she'd be, but I was surprised to find her sitting on the couch.

She was crying, but I didn't know why. Had someone called, I was sure she would have gotten me.

"Bella?"

She stood up and threw three pieces of paper at me.

It took me a minute to realize what I was looking at, but my eyes widened in horror.

"Where?" I stuttered as I looked down at pictures Nathan had drew.

There were houses in each one, a stick figure with the name dad written underneath wearing a lab looking coat, a stick figure that said mom with a book in it's hands, and then on the exact opposite side a figure of Tanya. He had taken black crayons and desecrated the figure he had drew of her.

"Tucked inside his pillow. Edward where is she? I haven't seen her in days," Bella demanded and I knew I was fucked.

"I don't know," I answered, because I really didn't.

"What do you mean you don't know? You don't know where your own wife is?" Bella barked and I shook my head.

"What the hell is going on, Edward? What did she do to my son?" she demanded.

So I sat her down and explained it all. The weird red flags, the phone calls, how she was acting, the pajamas, and then the running away. By the end of it Bella was shaking and crying.

I moved over to where she sat to try and comfort her, but she immediately recoiled at my mere presence.

"Stay away from me." Bella's voice was cold. "You're a doctor Edward. A doctor! And you didn't know?" Her voice was full of accusation.

My truth was that I was a doctor. A damned good doctor to everyone else, but my son apparently. I was already questioning the hours I was keeping, but I had no clue what was really going on. I had trusted her with my life, but it turned out I was blind.

"I don't know what to say." It was the single honest explanation I could give her. I hated myself; there was no excuse for missing so much. I had officially become the man I had set out never to be.

"Well I do. I hate you, Edward Cullen! You will never go near him again. Ever! Tomorrow I'm calling my lawyer and I'm taking you back to court. We don't need your money, we don't need your things, we don't need your deranged family, and we don't need you! You all will be rid from Nathans life for good! Do you hear me? NEVER! I trusted you..." Bella stormed off, got in her truck and drove away.

I sat motionless in the same spot Bella had left me. I didn't know what to say or what to think. I would fight for my son. I would fight to stay in his life and somehow manage to make up for what I'd done.

My reality was that there wasn't a soul on earth that could possibly hate me more than I hated myself.

***A/N***

**~Fridays seem like the best day to post, so I'm gonna stick with that. Teasers will continue to go out with all review replies, but I'll also do a PicTease & Teaser for Fictionators that come out on Mondays. **

**~Rec for the week: Lo Ti Conosco by TG81 Not your average vampire fic! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6376910/1/Lo_Ti_Conosco

**~On Twitter I am SammieLynnsMom**

**~If you are on twitter I encourage you to come out and play with TwiFicTrivia on Tuesday nights at 9 PM EST/8 PM CDT It's a blast! For details check out the blog: **http:/ twifictrivia(dot)blogspot(dot)com/


	8. Chapter 8

**Woah what a week! A HUGE thank you to everyone reading, reviewing and/or reccing my story! When I started writing I figured getting 10 reviews would be kinda cool, when it reached 250 my eyes bugged out!**

**My lovely pre-reader Trisha started a Twilighted Thread for the story and I am LOVING reading all of the thoughts and theories!**

http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=12545

**Thanks to stupidlamb118 for making me sound smart!**

**Thank you to obsmama & the ladies of IndieFicPimp for reccing & reviewing BI: **

http:/indieficpimp(dot)blogspot(dot)

**Longer A/N at the bottom so I don't own Twilight, if I did, I'd outlaw clothes for the Cullen men!  
**

"Edward, she can't do that! Tell him, Carlisle," my mother screamed on the other side of the PICU entrance. Thankfully the doors and glass were both thick enough that no one heard her.

"Who the hell does she think she is? Barring us from seeing him! I'm his grandmother for goodness sake! Edward! Say something."

I didn't know what to say.

Bella had done exactly what she said she would. Since Nathan was considered in Bella's custody, something we had always been meaning to change but never had, she was in her legal rights to bar her. She couldn't keep me away, she knew that legally, but she marched straight into the nurses station and wiped my entire family off the "approved" visitors list.

The only people allowed in were me, Bella, Charlie, and my dad, but only by default, since he ran the hospital. I'm not even sure Bella bothered trying to remove his name; I didn't know a nurse who would follow such an order in this hospital.

"I'll see what I can do. She technically can, but..." my mother wasn't one to let people finish when she was mad.

"I'm calling our lawyer. Aren't there grandparents rights? Has Washington adopted that yet? I hope so..." she muttered as she stormed off in search of cell phone signal.

"I'm guessing your talk didn't go well?" my dad asked.

"She found some pictures Nathan drew. I'd never seen them before, but they were bad. How did I miss this?" I rested my elbows on my knees and dropped my head.

"We all miss things in life, Son."

"He's my son, Dad. How could I miss something this big?"

"I don't know, Edward. What I do know is you need to work through this with Bella. Give her time, she'll come around. Nathan is going to need you both. She's angry and probably a little scared. Put yourself in her position. Your mother doesn't help things, and I'm working on that, but our family has never been easy on her. Think about it, Edward."

I knew he was right.

_"Beg your pardon?" Bella asked. She'd only had an hour nap before my family had rushed the hospital. My parents were the first to arrive with my siblings and their significant others shortly behind._

_"I said we should have a DNA test done. He looks nothing like my Edward," Esme repeated in a very pretentious tone._

_"Are you accusing me of..." Bella cut herself off._

_She stood from the bed quickly, walked right over to my mother, and plucked Nathan out of her arms._

_My mother was quick to react, but Bella ignored her as she wrapped her arms protectively around our son._

_"If you're saying he's not your grandson, then you have no right to hold him."_

_That marked the day that I'd given up on my family ever accepting Bella._

"I'm here if you need me." My dad had finished talking, but looked at me expectantly. I'd been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I just nodded, having no clue what I nodded to.

He walked off as I was buzzed into the PICU area.

When I walked through the doorway, Bella's eyes were transfixed on Nathan's face.

I didn't know what to say, so I walked to the opposite side of the room and sat down.

Twenty minutes of painful silence followed.

"You can't keep him from me," I blurted out without thinking.

"I know," Bella sighed. "I'm not sorry for what I said, but I won't try to keep you two separated. Your family is a different story..."

"I don't know what happened." It was the only explanation I had to give.

"Does it matter now?" she asked, and really it didn't. I couldn't go back no matter how much I might wish I could.

"Your mother must be in shock. She loved her," Bella voice laced with sarcasm.

"I'm not sure it's sunk in yet, she's too busy raving about you removing her visitor privileges." I didn't know any other way to broach the topic without immediately putting Bella on the defense.

"She'll deal with it." Bella looked down like she was debating with herself, she must have decided because she went on to add, "I couldn't take anymore insults."

"Insults?" I questioned. Ever since Nathan was found I hadn't heard my mother speak out against Bella.

She laughed. "I'm a whore. I wanted Tanya gone because I had always hated her. I want nothing more than to suck you dry. You think she'd get new material," Bella scoffed.

"I'm sorry." What words were left to be said?

"Since we're already on the topic of sharing, I've never been jealous nor have I wanted Tanya gone. I've only ever wanted you to be happy."

"I see." I really wasn't sure what to say to her anymore. If you had asked me a month ago if Bella and I were friends I would have said yes, but sitting here now I wondered if I even knew her anymore. The differences were subtle, but when put together she was an entirely different person than I had known.

Bella looked up to find me shaking my head. I had so much going on mentally I didn't even realize I was doing it.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked. I could see the concern behind her eyes and hear worry in her voice.

"Why?"

Her brows scrunched together as she took in my question and then had an "ah ha" moment when she finally understood.

"Who really knows, Edward; do you think she was jealous?"

"I don't know, maybe. She was pushing to go away together a lot lately, and when I suggested we bring Nathan she sorta freaked on me. I mean she knew going into our," I stopped. I couldn't even say the word anymore.

"True, but just because she knew it going in doesn't mean she really understood all it entailed."  
Bella had a point, but she also gave me a direct opening to a question that I'd been wondering a lot as of late.

"What about you, Bella, do you ever date?"

Shock was the first readable emotion on her face. "Um, no," she eventually answered so quietly I almost missed it.

"Why not?" I didn't know how to ask without it sounding like a judgment, but I was really curious. Bella was smart, funny, talented, and a nice person, I was sure it wasn't for lack of offers.

"Do you remember when I used to talk about my mom and her constant revolving door of men?" I had to think back, but I did remember a few conversations revolving around Renee. Bella had grown up with her mom, but moved to live with her dad when she was in high school. Her mom had a new man every six months or so until she died.

"Bella, you're nothing like her."

She shrugged, "I know that, but I never wanted to put Nathan through what I grew up having to see. I loved my mom, but I had no stability. She was too busy working or chasing the next guy; my needs were never put first. "

"You could still find someone. Not that I'm the greatest example at this moment, but do what I did." I really was shocked to be learning all of this now.

"Maybe when Nathan is in college. He's my focus now, him and my writing. I did things out of order, so it's just where my life lead me. To be honest, I always thought I'd go to school, get my degree, work for a while, get married, have kids, and stay home." She shrugged her shoulders when she was done and I was in awe at how okay she seemed to be with the point she was in her life.

"Really? I mean I understand the order, but you've never struck me as someone who would choose to stay home."

"When I was about six or seven I asked my mom to sign me up for Girl Scouts, everyone in my class was doing it so I wanted to as well. She looked me dead in my eyes and said she didn't have the time to take me. I've never wanted that for Nathan or any child I'd ever have. I would have worked if I needed to, but really I'm so lucky to be able to write at home. It provides an income, but I can still arrange my hours to work with what he needs or wants."

"I'm sure the child support helps," I added as an afterthought. Bella gasped and it made me realize what I had just said.

_As if she didn't hate me enough, fuck I'm an idiot!_

"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right. What I meant was that...fuck...I don't know what I meant." I was completely flustered and only waiting for Bella to start screaming at me.

"Do you know what I do with the money you send every month?" she asked quietly. I could see anger behind her eyes, but she wasn't letting any of it show in her voice. I shook my head no. I had never asked before, I assumed it went towards purchases she made for Nathan.

"Every month I deposit a check into an account with his name on it. When he hits twenty-one he receives every penny. I've never spent a cent of your money, Edward, even when we could have used it."

My mouth dropped. I had no idea Bella hadn't used anything I'd ever sent her. Last I knew, Bella was publishing her third book so I assumed that brought in enough money, but years ago when she was still in college she needed it.

"Why?" It was a simple question, but one I needed to hear the answer for.

"I meant what I said back then. I didn't need or want your money. I was young and dumb, I got pregnant, and he was my responsibility. He was lucky enough to have a father as dedicated as you, but it didn't make me want your money. It's his money; I make more than enough to cover my side of his needs."

Her answer was totally Bella. For as long as I'd known her she was proud, but not in an arrogant overly annoying way. She knew what she had and never pretended to be more or less of it. She was just her.

_Nathan was only a few weeks old and I was already seeing the financial strains on Bella. She cut the internet and cable at her apartment, she was walking more to save on gas, but it wasn't until I watched her skip meals to save money that I put my foot down._

_One day, Nathan was napping when I had just come over after classes to give her a break. I had heard her stomach growl. I didn't even bother asking what she wanted to eat before I took off for the kitchen to find it almost barren. She had a box of cereal, some milk, peanut butter, and bread. I searched everywhere, but that was it._

_I pulled out my cell phone and ordered in Chinese._

_"Bella I just ordered some food," I told her as I walked into the living room._

_Her face grimaced before she went to grab her wallet._

_"Hey, it's on me, don't worry about it." I tried to wave her off, but she was stubborn._

_"No take it," she held out a $10 bill. I could see tears forming in her eyes._

_"Bella," My voice cracked as she fell apart before my eyes._

_She fell to the floor and just sobbed._

_"Please let me help," I pleaded._

_"No, I don't want your money," she whispered._

_"Bella, he's half mine let me help somehow, what can I do?" I asked._

_"You don't need to do anymore than you already are."_

_"Let me buy groceries, I'm over here enough now..."_

_"No," she growled. "If you want to buy Nathan toys or clothes or diapers fine, but I don't need your money."_

_I sat there and thought about what she had just said. I understood, especially after what my family had said to her, but she was starving because of Nathan._

_At that thought something clicked in my head from a book I had written while preparing to be a dad._

_"Bella what does Nathan eat?"_

_"Milk," she answered sarcastically with her eyes raised. If her eyes could have spoke for her they would have said "Duh!"_

_"Do you think your body is still going to make the milk if you're not eating? The book said you need at least 400 extra calories on top of a normal diet. If you can't nurse anymore do you really want to consider the cost of formula?"_

_Her eyes widened._

_"Fine," she resigned after a few minutes, "I still won't take your money. You can stock the kitchen however you see fit, but I'm cooking for both of us, never just me."_

_Her answer was Bella, but at least it wasn't something. I had been spending enough time over there that I knew she'd be eating enough so I accepted._

_I called my dad that night to see about gaining control over more of my inheritance. He set it up so I could and I started writing Bella a check for $1,000 a month. I really had no idea what child support should have been given and it wasn't addressed when my mom decided to take Bella to court. He was still too young to consider me having him for any significant time away from her and we decided later on we'd work out a visitation schedule. If she needed more she'd ask, or at least I'd hoped she'd ask._

_It had actually taken her six month before she ever cashed any of them, but she finally did, and I figured she had come to her senses about me helping._

I guess I was wrong.

"Bella do you ever go out, I mean I know you don't date, but what when Nathan isn't with you?" I asked trying like hell to understand this woman again.

"I write, I see my dad, I have a few friends I see, but no I don't go out like nightlife or anything."

"So you don't..."

"Edward, the first time I had sex I got pregnant, sorta sets a precedent I didn't want followed." She deadpanned.

"Oh."

Bella had rendered me speechless. First because I realized I did not know her at all, but second because none of it seemed to phase her.

When we moved to Forks and I started my career I wanted a wife, a family, the house, the dog and so forth. Nathan wasn't forgotten, but I wanted to find someone to build my life with. Bella didn't seem to care, the exact opposite of how my family had always painted her.

We continued to sit in silence, both staring at Nathan, willing him to wake up.

"Bella what would have happened if we had worked?" I wasn't sure why I was asking, but it had popped into my head before my filter kicked in the question was hung in the air.

"Then I doubt we'd be sitting here waiting for our son to wake up in a hospital bed after someone tried to kill him." Her voice sounded so foreign to just moments ago. She became cold, detached, and defensive. Before I could say anything else Charlie walked in offering to let us go and get something to eat while he sat with Nathan.

I asked Bella if she'd join me in the cafeteria. It wasn't much, but it was close in case Nathans status changed. She reluctantly accepted my invite.

By the time I realized it, it was too late. We were through the doors when my mother came flying into Bella's face.

"How dare you bar me from my own grandson!" Esme quietly fumed in Bella's face. Of course my mother was not one to risk a scene, she moved and spoke just quietly enough that no one in the cafeteria full of people noticed.

"If you can't learn to respect me after eight years, Esme, you have no business near my son. For all I know, with your love of her, you helped plan all of this." I didn't exactly appreciate Bella accusing my mother of any wrongdoing, but it was the first time I'd seen Bella stand up to my mom in a while. Getting in the middle didn't seem like a safe place. I also hadn't gotten all of the details from Charlie yet, what plan?

"How dare you?" My mother's eyes widened, but she continued to keep her voice quiet.

"How dare me?" Bella yelled. The attention of all snapped to her. "Are you kidding? Esme, in case you have forgotten he is my SON! Yes son, not grandson, SON! Your son and I fucked up. We got drunk, we had sex, and BAM! I got pregnant. I didn't want your money, I didn't need your money, I still don't need your money! I've been yelled at, screamed at, demeaned in every possible way for over eight years by you, and you ask how dare me? You will never, and I mean ever set foot near him again! You...you worshiped at the feet of the woman who did this! So pretty and perfect and everything I wasn't. We tried to work..." Bella took a breathe as her hand indicated she meant us. "But how do you work something out when you have a little voice in your head going, 'His mother has already turned him against you. You'll never fit in or be welcomed. You'll always be considered a gold-digging whore'? So instead of his parents having any chance, you ruined it all! I hate you, Esme Cullen. I hate everything about you. So pretentious, so arrogant. So you know what, fuck you Esme. Fuck you!"

The entire cafeteria sat slack jawed. No one flinched. My mother stood motionless.

Bella turned on her heel to storm off, but I caught her elbow.

"Edward, let go..." Bella fumed, but my grip didn't loosen up. I was as shocked by Bella's rant as anyone else, but I realized it was my time to stand up to.

"Edward, do something about her." I heard my mother's voice as she must have snapped out of her trance.

So I did. I turned on my heel as well and walked off with Bella. I didn't use my words, because Bella had rendered me speechless, but words weren't needed.

"Edward, where are you going?" my mother screeched, but we were already on the elevator.  
"Wow," Bella sighed.

Understatement of the year in my opinion, but she didn't say anything untrue. Her thoughts about us were new to me, but I filed it away to ask about later.

When we arrived to the room Charlie said his goodbyes and dipped out.

The silence between us, for the first time that day, wasn't suffocating.

Bella had said what she needed to.

And I had shown Bella I was willing to stand up for her.

Thoughts of "what ifs" were playing in my head.

_Would we have worked had my family been supportive?_

_Would we have worked if I had pressed harder?_

_What if I stood up for her in the beginning?_

None of that mattered though, because when I looked up I was met with my eyes. Only they weren't mine. And they were terrified.

**A/N~ Do you know what I hate about posting schedules, I never stick to them...I get too excited, so I hope you don't mind it early!  
**

**~Update again on or before Friday. **

**~Let me know in your reviews this week what outtakes you want to see. I'll be doing a poll in November and whatever the top few are, I'll be writing and posting for Christmas!**

**~Weekly Rec: Love's Little Book by LittleStar300 I found this through a rec and fell in love with this Geekward! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6344201/1/Loves_little_book

**~I've signed up to contribute a One-Shot to 30 Days of Emmett. Starting Nov 15th you'llget 1-2 O/S or Drabbles featuring Emmett! Sub today! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2582208/30_Days_of_Emmett

~**Tg10781 & I are at it again with Baby It's Cold Outside O.S Contest! Accepting submissions from Nov 1-30th! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~babyitscoldoutsidecontest

~**On twitter I'm SammieLynnsMom**

**~If you are on twitter I encourage you to come out and play with TwiFicTrivia on Tuesday nights at 9 PM EST/8 PM CDT It's a blast! For details check out the blog:** http:/ twifictrivia(dot)blogspot(dot)com/


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, or rec'd! It seriously means a lot!**

**Thank you to stupidlamb118 and tg10781 for putting up with me! The last section I added last night is un-beta'd for now, excuse any mistakes, they're all my own!  
**

**I don't own Twilight, if I did, well let's just say I'd outlaw clothes on the Cullen men.**

**Longer A/N at the bottom, I highly suggest you actually read :)  
**

"Nathan," I heard Bella whisper while blinking at him.

His eyes were zeroed in on me, but I had no idea how to approach him. He was my son, but I imagined he was probably scared, confused, and defensive. No one really knew what he had been through yet. I was hoping in time he'd be able to open up and explain it.

When they brought Nathan down, his attending doctor, Dr. Bob Garner, a man I fully trusted, had pushed for a breathing tube. I said no. His pulse ox levels were fine and he wasn't in distress. I was never more thankful for that decision then when he opened his eyes and spoke for the first time.

"Daddy?" His voice was a mere whispered croak. Not the happy and jovial sound I was used to hearing.

Tears filled my eyes. I stood up and grabbed his free hand.

"I'm here," I replied and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Mommy?" His head slowly turned towards Bella.

"Yeah baby, I'm here," Bella answered, her voice caught in her throat from crying.

I knew I should be pressing the button to alert the nurse, but I couldn't yet. He was finally awake and even a few minutes were better than nothing.

However, the universe didn't match up with my hope when I noticed the door fly open and Bob walk in.

"He's awake?"

"Yeah, only for about a minute though. I was about..."

"Sure you were," he laughed as he pushed past me.

"Nathan, can you tell me where it hurts?" he questioned.

"My throat," he pointed. Then went on to point out his stomach, arm, and head.

"Well that's quite a list. We're going to get you all fixed up though. Do you want a sucker?"

My eyes shot up until I realized it was the equivalent of Pedialyte. I had no idea when Nathan last had any real food and it was going to be a at least a few days before we'd try anything.

Bob continued moving around and checking different things while I lost myself in my own mind.

The weight of the situation was becoming too much to bare. My son was looking at months, if not years, of recovery time for something I could have prevented. Now knowing that the monster was put in his life because of me made me feel worthless.

He was my everything. I had always known that, but in the past few weeks I was starting to see that I hadn't been treating him as such.

The first time he opened his eyes and stared at me, I was hooked. Nothing else matter, but the 9 lb bundle I was holding. I had sworn to him that I'd protect him, but I failed.

I failed as a man and as a father.

Tanya was my wife, a woman I went home to every single night, yet I never saw a hair out of place. She was always loving and nurturing, never complained. I would imagine walking into an almost "pre-made" family would be rough, but she'd known that from the beginning. Nathan would always come before her, always. That's what having kids did to you.

He was defenseless, and instead of being his defense I was nothing.

"Edward, Bella." He motioned for us to follow him as a nurse came in to stay with Nathan.

"NO!" Nathan shrieked, his voice sounded stronger than I'd heard before. "Don't leave me. Please! I told her not to leave, you can't leave me." He started to hyperventilate.

Bella was at his side in a second. She leaned down and put her mouth to his ears. I couldn't tell what she was whispering because Nathan continued to scream.

Bob looked up at me and I nodded. He then proceeded to inject a sedative into his IV.

A part of me died while I watched my son go from hysterics to coma-like again. I knew he needed to rest more, and him being hysterical risked further injury to his brain.

"What did you do?" Bella accused immediately as she stormed up to us.

"I injected a sedative. It'll help him sleep which he needs to continue to do," Bob went on to explain.

"But I was calming him down, you can't just give him something with me..." But she then cut herself off and snapped her neck at me. "You told him to?"

"Yes." It was a simple question. I was a father, but I was also a doctor. I understood the logic even though it goes against my own instincts as a parent.

"You don't get to make decisions without ME! He wouldn't be in this bed if it weren't for YOU! So don't you dare start making decisions without at least saying something to me. I may agree or I may not. But you, Edward Cullen, put your son in that bed, so don't you dare think that you..." Bella just let out a scream.

I knew she was frustrated and felt helpless, maybe the screaming helped her, but she may as well have taken a knife and cut my heart out.

As if Bella needed to remind me, yet again, that this was all my fault. I was obviously the monster I had grown up never wanting to become, but to hear her say it again hurt just as much. I knew she wouldn't legally keep Nathan from me, but I wondered if they would be better off without me in the picture.

She was right though, legally it wasn't my choice right now.

_"Excuse me?" I thought for sure my mother had said she was taking Bella to court, but I knew that couldn't be right._

_"I said, I called our lawyer and he is filing against that little tramp for custody," my mother repeated._

_Nathan was only a few weeks old, I haven't had sleep in days, and for a second I thought I had entered the Twilight Zone._

_"Why?" I was astonished. I knew my mom hated Bella, but this was extreme._

_"Well it's obvious she's not a fit parent and I think she was doing drugs too, all I need is for you to give a statement as such and he'll be yours. I'll keep him during the day while you're in school and help at night so you can study."_

_I was speechless._

_"I will do no such thing," I answered. Bella was by no means an unfit parent nor did I ever see her doing drugs._

_"Edward this is your chance," I cut her off._

_"You take Bella to court and I will stand for her, not against her."_

_And I did. My mother had filed for custody and lost. As a result full custody was granted to Bella and it was something we'd fix when we got to the point of visitation. However, since Bella still didn't want child support and we settled visitation among ourselves we never went back to court._

I mentally reminded myself, when this as all said and done, we'd be going back to court to fix the issue of custody. I'd never take Nathan away from Bella, but I wanted an equal say in things.

Bob cleared his throat, breaking me from my thoughts, but not from the glares Bella was tearing through me.

"I don't know what is going on here, but you both need to calm down. Nathan is going to need you both. If you can't get along I'll have to step in with a visitation schedule or something. Have you found a therapist yet?"

Bella and I both knew it would take months, maybe even years, for Nathan to get through this trauma so I was already making calls to people I knew looking for recommendations.

_It was actually my dad who suggested I give Dr. Jim Banner a call. He specialized in Pediatric cases with a subsection of trauma and abuse. He was local, although I'd never met him before. My dad had, and so he came down a few days ago to meet with Bella and I._

_We were waiting in my office for Dr. Banner to arrive. Neither one of us felt comfortable leaving the hospital so I had asked him to drive out to meet us here. His office was in Port Angeles, which was about a thirty to forty minute drive._

_My nurse, Kate, called my phone to let me know he was there and she'd already sent him back._

_"What if we don't like him, Edward?" Bella asked at the last minute. I assured her if we didn't like him we'd keep searching for someone else._

_Both of our fears were unfounded._

_Dr. Banner explained his speciality and the types of children he normally treated. He'd never had a case quite like Nathan, but only because he wasn't expecting Bella and I to get along so well._

_"What do your living arrangements consist of?" he asked._

_Bella explained that we each had a house with a set visitation schedule._

_"Bella, Edward here told me you found pictures he had drawn that depicted Tanya in a negative light?"_

_She nodded._

_"Is there any reason to believe she was abusive in any manner?"_

_Now it was my turn to hang my head. "Nothing I ever noticed or that he spoke about."_

_"Okay. I'm going to wager a guess here, but chances are Nathan will probably never feel comfortable in your house again, Edward. We can work on that or..." I cut him off._

_"I'm selling it. I don't want it."_

_"Really?" Bella sounded shocked._

_"Um yeah, I just... fuck I can't go back there, Bella."_

_She nodded._

_"That does make sense, Edward, and it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to seek counseling for yourselves. The idea I'm about to say is rather unorthodox, but given your situation it is what I feel will be best for Nathan, at least for now."_

_Bella and I both nodded at him to go on. At that moment, I could speak for both of us when saying we'd do whatever we had to for Nathan's sake._

_"You need to be together..." Before the doctor could speak Bella immediately questioned him._

_"Bella, I don't mean romantically. I mean live together. Nathan needs to have you both there. When he wakes up he's going to be terrified and stability will help ease that once you transition out of the hospital. If you continue to go with the back and forth schedule you've had, it'll hinder any progress he makes. I'm not saying you need to stay in the same house indefinitely, but for now it's what I suggest is best."_

_"Where?" she asked._

_"I don't know what your housing situation is like Bella, but I would first recommend where you live. Nathan knows it, he has security there and it's to my understand Tanya never visited there much. You could find a new place together, but then you'll encounter more adjustment and security problems than you're already be facing." Dr. Banner was completely serious in his explanation and I understood it. However, I was not going to force my opinions onto Bella; this was her call._

_"I can put the guest bedroom together for you," Bella looked at me and I nodded._

_"Another positive to living together is that you can equally share the work. Raising a child is hard as it is, raising a child that has been through this experience is going to be ten times harder for a while. I expect to see major regression, night terrors, extreme bouts of anxiety and so forth. If you're both there, you can balance is out so neither one of you feels left out or burnt out. I'm not saying you can push it onto one or the other, but if you need a break, take it. Nathan is going to need you both at your best."_

_We talked for a while longer about what to expect when he woke up, to make sure we knew to let Nathan volunteer information and not force it out, and so forth. He recommended that he come to the hospital twice a week once he woke up and was ready to talk and then once he was discharged, we'd arrange appointments at his office in Port Angeles._

_We both said our goodbyes and looked at each other._

_"We're really doing this?" Bella asked and I nodded._

_"Your family is going to flip, Edward."_

_"I don't care."_

_"When are you telling them?" she asked._

_"Later."_

When I looked up again I saw Bella talking to my dad. I hadn't even seen him come in.

"Bella told me Nathan was up for a few minutes," my dad inquired and I nodded.

"Yeah, he was fine until Bob wanted to talk to us. Then he had a panic attack," I stated very clinically. All of my guilt was finally taking over and I just felt numb.

"Bella said you approved a sedative without her consent?" I nodded.

"Edward when I said work this out with her I meant it. That's not okay."

I hung my head. Again I had failed.

"Are you okay?"

"No," I answered and it was the truth. I wasn't okay and I didn't know if I would be okay as long as Nathan laid there.

"Listen I wanted to apologize for..." One look from me shut him up.

"Look, I love mom. She gave me life and I will be forever grateful, but right now I don't want to see her. Down the road, fine, but I can't right now. Bella and Nathan need me. I should have stood up for Bella long ago, but until she can put her differences aside I can't talk to her right now. Bella and I are moving in together..."

"What? When?" My father's eyes widened.

"It was a suggestion from Dr. Banner. He felt Nathan would need both of his parents together on a twenty-four hour type of basis. I'm selling my house anyways, so I am going to move into Bella's before Nathan gets discharged. Just until Nathan gets better, then I'll find something else."

"That makes sense," my father mused. "It'll be a good time for you to reconnect with them again." He glanced over at Nathan's sleeping form. Bella was using her hand to brush his hair back in a soothing manner.

"Yeah that is what I'm hoping." I smiled. I was finally feeling hopefuly for the future, it wouldn't be easy, but it had a better outcome then I saw just a few weeks ago.

I didn't have much time to expand on my thoughts before Kathy, the nurse at the desk for the PICU was calling for my attention. When I looked up she explained that my mother was asking for me to come out stating it was an emergency.

I looked up at my dad who shrugged, then offered to run interference with Bella while I slipped out.

For a second I'd considered not going, but decided if it was a real emergency she shouldn't be ignored. Worst case scenario I would just walk right back through the PICU doors.

As the doors opened I got a glimpse of her before she saw me. She had on a floral dress, with her hair lightly curled, and globs of make-up. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she walked right out of the pages of Good Housekeeping. What used to look motherly to me now just looked fake, pretentious.

"Yes?" I asked, keeping my emotions calms.

She pulled an envelope out of her purse and thrust it at me.

I glanced down to see the name "Edward" written in perfect cursive handwriting. I stares as I realized who's handwriting it was.

"Where did you get this?" I questioned immediately searching her eyes for any clue as to what was going on.

"It was left at the house." She simply answered.

I continued to stare at her looking for any sort of emotion to splay across her face, but she just continued to stare blankly at me.

"Did you read it?" I asked.

She nodded.

Fury started to run through my veins as I realized she was willingly tampering with evidence. Instead of calling Charlie or another officer she read the note, put the note in her purse, and then brought it to me. Finger prints would now be harder to find and it wasn't mailed, so obviously either she or someone close to her is local.

I immediately picked up the phone and asked Kathy to call Charlie. She assured me she would as I turned back towards my mom.

"So let me see if I understand this correctly. You receive a note, read that it's from Tanya, and instead of calling the cops so they can attempt to start tracing where it's from, you put it in your purse, and drive it me?" I seethed, while trying to maintain as much composure as I could.

"Edward read it, she said she didn't do this and I believe her." The smile on her face made me want to throw up and I began questioning why I ever listened to her.

I sat dumbfounded for a second though, while I absorbed her words.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"Fuck you," I barked before turning towards the doors so I could swipe my card to go back in.

I heard her gasp, but I didn't even blink.

I was done.

I didn't want to hear anymore horrible lies about Bella.

I didn't want to hear how imperfect Nathan was in her eyes.

I didn't want to hear how she thought Tanya was innocent when obviously she wasn't. Or how she was completely perfect in every way.

But most of all, I didn't want to even admit she was my mom.

I would never cut my dad, Emmett, or Alice from my life, but as far as I was concerned my mom was gone.

When I walked back in my dad looked up at me and I simply shook my head. He sighed before walking away.

I stood in the doorway and took in the sight before me.

Nathan was still asleep in his bed. Bella was curled up in a chair while holding onto his hand. She looked so peaceful in her sleep, a complete opposite to the stress she often wore on her face while awake. It has been a long time since I'd looked at Bella. Really looked at her. Had she always been so beautiful?

**A/N:**

**~Update again next week sometime, Friday or before. This weekend will be busy with Halloween so not sure I'll have much time to write during it.**

**~From the first update I've done teasers in review replies, this week it's a little different. If you'd like to see what the note from Tanya said leave a review. It will not be included in Chapter 10, talked about, never word for word :) **

**~This is the last week that I'm taking suggestions for outtakes. If you have an idea you'd like to see, even if it means hitting Esme with a train, I'd like to hear it :) I'll begin a poll November 1st!**

**~Weekly Rec is: Beyond Time by TKegl Seriously one of the best out there right now! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5755522/1/Beyond_Time

**~I'm currently have a fic in the Scene Stealers O/S Contest, check it out :) **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2528727/

**~I'm currently Hosting the Baby It's Cold Outside Contest, I can't wait to start reading submissions! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~babyitscoldoutsidecontest

**~I have an Original O/S in the compilation for Fandom For Preemies, donations start November 1st for a compilation of over 100 authors! I'll be including a teaser in review replies this week! It's an arranged marriage gone bad! **http:/www(dot)fandomforpreemies(dot)blogspot(dot)com/

**~I'm also contributing a O/S staring Emmett for 30 Days of Emmett starts 11/15, subscribe today! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2582208/30_Days_of_Emmett

**~I'm SammieLynnsMom on twitter and I hope to see everyone tomorrow night for Twi Fic Trivia, this week is the week of the Darkward Fics! If you've never played before please follow TwiFicTrivia, if you play and I haven't seen you, feel free to say hi! I will always respond to an message to me and I play TwiFicTrivia religiously!  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**WOW almost 200 reviews for Chapter 9 alone, ya'll rock! Thank you SO much! My entire house is sick, including me, so I wanted to get this out before I'm stuck at the doctors all day tomorrow for my children!  
**

**Loves to stupidlamb118 for betaing & tg10781 & morethanmyself for pre-reading!**

**I don't own Twilight, it's be Naked Day everyday if I did ;) Men only of course!  
**

As soon as I walked back through the doors Kathy was at my side letting me know Charlie was on his way. I didn't know her well, since we worked different departments, but I appreciated her willingness to help without trying to be nosey.

My dad looked up at me, as if waiting for some sort of indication of what happened, and I just shook my head. I wasn't sure what to tell him aside from my mother had officially jumped ship, leaving any signs of sanity behind.

He saw what I was holding and while his eyes widened, he didn't say a word. He simply left, I assumed, to go hunt down my mom.

I was a doctor, not a police officer, but I was pretty sure my mom was going to get into some serious trouble for the stunt she had just pulled.

Bella was still sleeping so I opted to take a seat in the chair opposite hers. I had placed the letter on the counter, but even though it was no longer in my hands I still felt like my fingers were burning. Not only had I really done this, but something was not right with my mom. I ignored the signs with Tanya for too long, and I was not going to do that again. I owed it not only to Nathan, but Bella also, to keep my eyes opened. The letter was just another thing I had to apologize for.

Charlie came in shortly thereafter and had another officer take the letter into evidence. When he pulled me aside I knew the conversation was not going to be a pleasant one.

"Edward, you must understand the implications..." I assumed he was trying to soften the blow, like he had when they wanted to take Tanya in the second time. Only I wasn't blind this go around and I knew it needed to be done.

"Has she been picked up yet?" I asked.

"Tanya, no..." I cut him off.

"I meant my mom." I could see in Charlie's eyes that he understood what I knew.

"If she hasn't yet, she will be within the next ten minutes. I'm sorry." His apology surprised me, but I could see the subtle shift from Charlie Swan, Police Chief to Charlie Swan, the man I've known since I knocked up his daughter.

_"Dad, I'd like to introduce you to Edward Cullen," Bella waved her hand at me. I put my hand out to shake his, but I could already see the suspicion in his eyes._

_Bella had warned me that she'd never brought a man home from school before._

_"Edward," was his only gruff response._

_We took a seat in the living room._

_Bella had called Charlie to warn him that we'd be coming down with an announcement._

_"Dad," Bella started, but he cut her off._

_"You're pregnant?" he asked. Bella simply nodded._

_"How long have you two been together?" was his next question._

_"It's complicated...Um..." While Bella was trying to figure out how to explain things, it was obvious to me Charlie had gotten the point._

_"Bella, would excuse me and this...Edward for a bit please?" Bella tried to protest, but after I assured it would be all right she walked outside for a while._

_"Sir," I started, but he put his hand up._

_"What are your intentions, Edward?" His question was simple and I could see the signs of worry on his face. If I were in the same situation I'm not sure I would be handling it so well._

_"Well, Bella and I have decided to see if we can make a relationship work. She's definitely someone I would have wanted to get to know even if we weren't in our given situation. As far as the baby is concerned, I'll be there for her and for the baby, regardless of whether a relationship is sustained between Bella and I. I don't have much longer in school before I'll start my residency. I'm studying to be a doctor, so I know it'll be a challenge, but I'm not walking out on them. We didn't ask for this, but it's happened and I'm here."_

_Charlie only nodded his head at me before standing off in search of Bella._

_The car ride back to Seattle that day was a lot less stressful then the one we'd taken to get to Forks. Bella never asked what Charlie had said to me and vise-versa. We only knew that in two weeks time we'd be heading to my parents house to reveal the news to them._

_I had only hoped they would take it as well._

"I'm not." I shook my head, "We need answers and if she...God, if she had anything to do with this. I just, I just...we just have to know."

Charlie nodded and left.

Bella began to stir and I was terrified that I didn't know what to say to her.

When her brown eyes blinked up at me, I wished I could freeze time. Or better yet, go back in time.

"Anything?" Her voice was raspy from sleep.

"There was a letter," I stated. If I could just get the facts out quickly, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"What did it say?" Bella was becoming more alert by the second.

"She pleaded her innocence along with some other stuff that isn't important. She kept saying she didn't do it and was away collecting evidence to back her up. But Bella..."

"But Bella, what?"

"It was my mom who brought it to me. She said it was left on her front door so she brought it to me, I called Charlie and..."

"Wow. Um..." Bella's reaction was not what I had pictured. I assumed she'd go off on me again, but instead she remained calm, her face shifting emotions as she took it all in.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I know she's your mom, and God, I know she hates me, but do you think...I mean, do you think she um...helped?"

Silence. I wasn't sure what to say because really I didn't know. I would have liked to think she wouldn't, but could my opinion truly be trusted at this point?

"I hope no." It was a simple response, but Bella seemed to understand my internal turmoil and moved into an even more uncomfortable topic of conversation.

"What other stuff did the letter say?" I knew the contents would eventually come out, even if Charlie didn't tell her.

"She said to wait for her." My voice was barely a whisper, but Bella still gasped.

"Edward, you..." I could tell Bella was going to assume the worst so I cut her off quickly.

"She is dead to me Bella, now and forever. Even if by some miracle she didn't have anything to do with this, which I don't believe, it's over. It's been over since the second she expected me to go on vacation with her. I already have my lawyer looking into ways of divorcing her without having her actually have to sign something."

Bella nodded, but remained quiet. I wasn't sure what she was thinking so I moved closer to Nathan's bed, reaching across him to where their hands joined and added mine.

"Bella, I know my word means nothing to you at this point and I don't blame you, but I am here. I am here for Nathan and I am here for you, too. Neither one of us asked for that night to happen how it did, but I won't lie and say I regret it. I love Nathan more than life itself and I have so much to make up to him for, but I will. I know I haven't been there as I should, but I swear to you I am here now. Forever."

Silent tears fell from her eyes as she gazed up towards Nathans face.

Neither one of us knew what to say next, so we sat in silence.

That was until both of us were starved. Charlie wasn't coming back to sit with Nathan so I offered to go get something and come back. Bella agreed.

"You're moving in together?" Alice bombarded me as soon as I had cleared the doors to the PICU area.

"Um..." I didn't know what to say since that was the last thing on my mind at the moment.

"Dad told me. He made sure I'd keep it a secret; don't worry I won't tell mom. How is he? Can I see..." Alice silenced herself when she noticed Bella coming out too.

I cocked my head at her and she muttered "Kathy" I knew what she meant.

"Hey, Bella. I..." Alice again went silent. I still didn't know where they stood with each other, and I did notice Bella took Alice's name off the approved visitor sheet as well, so for me it felt awkward to be standing with them both.

"Hey," Bella looked equally as nervous, she kept biting her lip and fidgeting with her hands.

"How is Nathan?" Alice's voice tried to portray a hopeful tone, but I could still see the hurt in my sister's eyes. She knew Bella shut her out and I was not sure she knew why.

"Better. He woke up for a little while today, the doctor said he should probably wake up again tonight. I'm hoping I can talk to him longer this time." She shot me a pointed glare.

"We will," I whispered and she smiled.

Alice looked confused, but didn't ask anymore questions.

"Um do you think...well what I mean is...crap. Can I see him?" Alice took a while to find her words.

Bella looked pained for a minute and I thought she was going to say no. I could see tears brimming on the edges of my sister's eyes and it was another crushing blow.

Right now, I'd wished more than anything that I had fought my family more from the beginning. If I had, maybe by this point everything could at least be amicable. Possibly even friendly.

"Look Alice, I didn't pull your name to be mean, I just don't want to come between your family anymore. I didn't want you to have to choose a side." Bella's explanation didn't make sense to me, but I'm sure it did to her.

"I understand, but maybe let me make that decision."

Tears began to fall from her face as she turned away and ran off.

I sighed.

I didn't want to offend Bella, but I also hated seeing my sister hurt.

I was standing in the middle of a tight rope, and no matter which step I took I knew I'd fall.

"I'm sorry," Bella whispered and I knew she meant it.

"I'll...um...go find her," I turned to answer her, but noticed she was on the PICU phone.

_"Yes this is Bella Swan. Can you put Alice Cullen back on Nathan's list. Okay. Okay yes, I'm just going to get food, if he wakes up call me asap. Okay, thank you."_

I smiled.

She walked up to me and told me I could tell Alice to visit Nathan whenever.

She turned away to walk towards the elevators when I caught her arm.

"Can I come with?" I asked hopefully. We had a lot to discuss with the upcoming changes to both of our lives and maybe talking sooner rather than later would be better. If we had the best plan in place now, it would be easier to explain to Nathan later. I knew our biggest challenge was to continue to stay on the same page. If we did that we'd be fine.

"Um sure," Bella answered.

We walked together to the cafeteria, both grabbing what we could and took a seat.

"When he's out of here I'm never going to want to see another hospital room again," I joked.

"You're a doctor?" Bella deadpanned.

"I know, but it's different when..." But I couldn't finish my thought out loud. What was I to say, "It's different when you put your son in one."

"I get it. I mean, I don't really understand, but I get it."

"So, about moving..." I let the thought hang in the air.

"Yeah. I figured you could take the guest room right next to Nathan's. My room is at the end of the hall so he'd be in the middle. I work from home so that's not an issue and I imagine you'll have to get back to work soon." Bella spoke like it was no big deal which shocked me.

The hospital was being nice about letting me take off as much time as I needed right now. At some point though, I needed to go back, which meant a lot of changes for her because she would essentially see no break compared to what she did before.

"Yeah. I'm not sure when that'll be, but I'll start back slow before working back up to full time. I want to be there to help not just Nathan, but you too. I know you're used to having a few days to yourself, but now you won't really."

"I won't mind," Bella answered softly. So softly I had almost missed it.

I cocked my head to the side and stared at her.

"Really. I mean our schedule was fine, he needed time with you, but it wasn't easy. I hated dropping him off. I always felt like a piece of me was gone, ya know?"

I sat back in my chair and absorbed what she'd said. I really didn't expect that answer, but then again I worked so much that when he wasn't with me I felt like I wouldn't have been there anyways.

"Well now we won't have to worry about that, at least for now."

"Do you know how long you'll want to stay with us?"

"I'm not sure. However long it works I guess. Or until you kick me out," I joked. She let a small smile slip.

"Hey I'm gonna go grab another drink to bring up, do you want anything?" I asked and she hook her head no. Even if she did, it would involved money, which she wouldn't accept.

I couldn't help but feel like an idiot for even remotely thinking she could, in some way, have entrapped me with Nathan. To be quite honest, the more I learned about her the more I realized even if that was her intention, I'm not sure I would have cared.

When I first met Tanya I was head over heels, but looking back now I didn't understand why. She wasn't smart, granted she wasn't dumb either, but rarely did we have intellectual conversations. Tanya did volunteer at the hospital, but she never came across as charitable, while Bella was nice and generous to all. When I started to compare them side by side I wanted to go back nine years and tell my mom to fuck off right then and there. Sadly though, I couldn't, and would now spend an eternity questioning the what ifs of my life.

I walked up to the line grabbing a few small snacks and drinks to go. I knew Bella wasn't going to leave Nathan's side again until he woke up so I bought stuff for her anyways. I glanced at my watch and realized how late it was, chances were he would be soon.

A few of my colleagues stopped and asked how Nathan was, but I brushed them off. I wanted to get back to Bella and back to our son.

When I turned around Bella was crying. Her face was red with anger and I could see her mouth moving. She looked like she was yelling, but I couldn't hear what she was saying.

I could see a woman standing in front of her. She had shoulder length brown hair, but her clothes didn't fit this area of the country at all. Overly gaudy heals with a silk-looking dress that resembled lingerie. I knew one thing for sure, I didn't know who she was, and she was after Bella.

I rushed up to Bella and wrapped my arms are her waist. I slightly angled myself in front of her as I came face to face with a pair of searing blue eyes. They had both stopped talking so I still didn't know what had happened, but I knew I needed to get Bella out of her as fast as I could.

"Can I help you?" I barked. I wasn't sure if this woman was here because of Nathan or maybe someone Bella just didn't get along with, but I didn't have the patience to find out.

"You must be Edward Cullen," she sneered up at me. I was shocked; I had never seen her a day in my life, yet she said my name with such venom.

"I am."

The next thing I knew she slapped me. I stood there stunned for a second before she launched into a verbal attack. "This is all YOUR fault, you and your stupid wife. If I ever see that bitch again I will rip her to pieces for the mess she's put us through. And you, you say you're a mother." She pointed at Bella. "You have no compassion, do you? Has this whole town lost it's mind? Garrett never did anything to deserve this!"

When she finally shut up I asked her who she was.

"I'm Kate Winston, Garrett's wife."

"Get away from my daughter!" I heard Charlie's voice bark from behind me.

All three of our faces snapped to him as he began asking Kate why she was there. She explained that she only wanted to plead her case to Bella, but when Bella shot her down she blew up.

I choose not to press charges against Kate for slapping me, I still had no idea what was going on and was hoping Bella would clue me in as soon as we got to Nathan's room,

For the second day in a row we'd left the cafeteria after a verbal altercation. It wasn't until the doors opened that I realized I still had my arm protectively around Bella. She hadn't pushed me away so I assumed she was still scared.

Kathy greeted us with a smile and said he had just started to stir a little. He hadn't opened his eyes, but she thought it would be soon. She was leaving for the day and told us to have a good night.

Bella immediately walked over to Nathan and sat next to him. Her face was slowly softening up to as she looked when I first left the table.

As if Nathan could feel her presence, he chose that second to open his eyes.

"Hey baby," Bella choked out.

"Do you want some water?" she asked and he nodded.

After a few gulps from a straw he pulled Bella close to him.

His voice was no more than a whisper and even I strained to hear it, but what he said would live with me forever.

"I told her not to leave me. She told me it was Pajama Day at school so I could wear my Superman. Then I saw him staring at me. I told her not to leave until my friends showed up, but she did anyways. She wasn't even gone before he tackled me."

He leaned back onto his pillow and for a second he wasn't my now eight year old son. He was an entirely different person, more serious, too serious even.

I knew the next chance I got I needed to call Dr. Banner.

**A/N~**

***Update again next week, on or before Friday**

***On Twitter I am SammieLynnsMom and if you don't follow TwiFicTrivia you should!**

***Weekly Rec : To The Highest Bidder by RainyGirl1978 Seriously amazing, only epi is left to post & I am so sad to see it end! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6018429/1/To_the_Highest_Bidder

***I'm hosting the Baby It's Cold Outside, I have a one-shot in the Fandom4Preemies Compilation, & I'm writing for the Cherry Exchange, 30 Days of Emmett, & The lemon Squeeze :) If you don't have me on author's alert, do it. i am so excited about my other projects, but have no fear, BI wll NEVER suffer!  
**

***Chapter 11 is undergoing serious re-writes so this week instead of teasers you'll be getting the conversation between Bella & Kate that Edward missed**

***Do you wanna be the person hitting Esme with a train or the person who gets her to show up at the tracks? Check out the Blind Intentions Twilighted Thread for details!**

http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=12545

***Check out my profile page for a poll on the top outtakes you'd like to see :)  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**WOW! 800 Reviews is seriously BLOWING my mind! Thank you SO much for everyone who has read, reviewed, rec'd, posted on the Twilighted thread, tweeted about it on twitter and so forth! Ya'll are amazing! **

**Blind Intentions was linked on TwiFan FicFreak on Facebook. I'm still awaiting confirmation of my friend's request so I don't know who specifically to thank, but if it was you, thank you so much!**

**Also a late shout out to kagen-mo for listing Blind Intentions on a fic list on A Different Forest! Sorry bb, I wrote it down to list with Chapter 10 and my toddler decided my notes were her new coloring sheet! **

**Thanks for stupidlamb118 for putting up with me! Any mistakes you see are mine, not hers. I added a section that is still un-beta'd, she deserves a break but once it's done I'll just replace the chapter. tg10781 and morethanmyself for their continued love and support! Longer A/N at the bottom.**

**I don't own Twilight, because God help Summit if I did. Edward would have a ring and his hair wouldn't be almost black, that is for darn sure! **

Listening to Nathan recount the few words he had was enough to make me want to find the nearest cliff and jump.

How had I missed this? Was I so in love with this woman that I let her potentially abuse and hurt my son without an inkling of it was going on?

_How was Bella ever going to be able to trust me with him again?_

_How could Nathan ever look at me the same way?_

_How was I ever going to be able to forgive myself?_

After Nathan whispered to Bella a small snippet of the day he was kidnapped, he simply rested his head back on a pillow, took a deep breath, and didn't say another word.

I excused myself from the room, partly so Nathan would not see the tears pouring down my face, but also because I knew Dr. Banner needed to know he was awake again.

"Hello." Dr. Banner answered his personal cell. He had given us the phone number after our meeting. He explained that he normally didn't give the number out, but since I was Carlisle's son and a fellow doctor he had made an exception.

_"Hi, Dr. Banner. This is Edward, Edward Cullen calling. I wanted to let you know Nathan is awake again and talking."_

_"What has he said?" His voice immediately switched over to a more doctor-like tone. _

_"He uh, talked a bit about how it happened, but nothing else. I'm not sure what to do, he's my son, and I am completely out of my league here." I was frustrated. Not just because I had allowed this to happen, but because I was a doctor. I had gone through life knowing how to handle everything that had been thrown at me, but here and now, I was lost. _

_"Edward, we talked about this. Let him talk at his own pace. Don't ask questions and don't push. If you want I can come down there tonight, or if you'd prefer, first thing in the morning."_

_I sighed. I knew we couldn't push Nathan. I also knew Dr. Banner was a father and I could hear the squeals and giggles of children in the background. He was home and I would not pull him away from his family. Not over me panicking. _

_"Tomorrow would probably be best. I'll let Bella and the staff know in case I'm not here when you arrive."_

After a few pleasantries we hung up. Sitting in the hallway outside the double doors, I let my elbows drop to my knees while my hands held my head.

How many times had I dropped everything I was doing at home to rush back into the hospital for a non-emergency?

When Nathan was six he became obsessed with Spiderman. He wanted the clothes, the toys, the birthday party, his bedroom, and the movies. Everything always had to be Spiderman.

Tanya and I had only been married for about a year and we had hit a bit of a rough patch. We weren't really fighting, but there were a lot of internal shifts within the hospital with budget cuts, which meant longer hours for me since I was on a salary. When my dad asked me to pick up a few extra shifts, just temporarily, I complied because I knew it was needed. She was having a hard time adjusting to that, because when I wasn't at work I was with Nathan.

One night she called me as I was leaving the hospital and let me have it. It was the worst argument we had gotten into. It was the same night I had arranged with Bella to take Nathan on an "off" night since my normal days were filled with work that week.

When I called Bella to cancel, citing work problems, she explained that Nathan would be extremely disappointed. She had let him know he was coming to my house and having a Spiderman night. I apologized again and rushed off the phone with her.

The truth was the emergency was at home. I ignored my son for the woman who would end up hurting him worse than anyone could imagine.

When I looked up I saw my father walking down the hall towards me. His face appeared grim and I wasn't sure what was going on.

Wordlessly he took a seat next me and sighed.

When I asked what was wrong he sighed again and shook his head.

"Your mom is in jail," he stated eventually. My head snapped up to look at him. I knew they were picking her up and that she would be facing possible charges, but hearing she was in jail still startled me.

"How bad are the charges?" I asked in wonder. I assumed our family attorney was already called, but I really wanted to stay as far away as I could from both her and the case.

"Edward, did you know I had security cameras installed at the house last year?" My dad's question through me off because he ignored my question with a question.

"No." There were a string of vandalised houses last year. The local police chopped it up to teenagers, but it would make sense that my dad would be proactive.

"Neither did she."

I furrowed my eyebrows together trying to figure out his cryptic message. I gasped when it came to me. He would have seen Tanya leave the note, was my mom helping her?

"Dad?"

"Tanya didn't write it."

"Wait! What?"

"You mom did. I just got back from bringing Charlie the tape."

"Why would she do that?" The police had focused the search more locally since the note showed up assuming Tanya was close. To find out my mom not only wrote it, but planted it and lied about it was unforgivable.

"So you wouldn't loose faith in Tanya is my best guess." He shrugged. "Edward, I didn't say this before because I didn't feel it was my place. Are you still holding out hope for her innocence?"

"No! No, we're over. Even if she is innocent, we're over."

"Edward, I know about..." He looked deep in thought. "Let's just say Tanya wasn't the quietest..." He trailed off and my eyes widened.

I loosely remembered the night we got back from Seattle. I remembered agreeing to have sex with Tanya, but I honestly didn't remember the details. I was so numb after checking the morgue for my own son that I just wanted to feel something, anything, but I didn't. I passed out and didn't remember much when I woke up.

"Makes my top five list of the dumbest things I've ever done."

"What is your first?" he asked.

"Letting Bella get away."

"I was wondering if you had changed your mind towards her. I'll admit I was an idiot for letting your mom talk so much, but she has her own demons. It's why I never said anything."

"What demons?"

"Not my story to tell."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you still think you and mom are going to be okay?"

He looked away and I knew the answer.

"I've already called the lawyer to start drawing up papers."

"This is all my fault," I sighed.

"No. No it's not, this was a long time coming. We haven't been happy for a while, Edward. She just decided to do something that I will never forgive."

I nodded. I had a feeling they weren't happy, but it didn't stop the guilt from rooting inside me.

"I'm here if you need me, but let me me give you some advice. Bella is wiser, stronger, and above all, more honest then any of us gave her credit for in the beginning. Even if you both never move past this, you're a better person for getting to know her."

I nodded. He walked away while I slipped deeper into my thoughts.

I knew my dad was right. Bella was amazing and beautiful and wise and honest and caring and everything I had always said I wanted. Looking back at my twenty-one year old self, I wanted to slap me. How could I be so blind? So naive? I ruined what could have been the best relationship of my life because I couldn't stand up on my own two feet.

Bella came out looking for me. I had no clue I'd been sitting outside the doors for nearly two hours.

"Nathan wanted to tell you goodnight, but he couldn't stay up any longer. I tried having you paged," Bella explained.

"I called Dr. Banner and then my dad and...I'm sorry" I had so much to be sorry for, so many apologizes I needed to give, but didn't know how.

"I'm sure he'll be awake again soon. You can tell him that yourself." Bella went to turn around, but I caught her elbow.

"I said I was sorry," I sighed. It was lame, I knew, but I had said it despite the fact.

"Listen, Edward, I don't know what is going on in that head of yours and I know you feel guilty. You're not the only one who does, but instead of spending what precious time we have with him while he's awake and interactive, I find you sitting here sulking. It's unacceptable. He is your son; stand up and be the father I once knew you to be or leave. I'm not sure how much more of your mood swings I can take and I refuse to let Nathan become a pawn again," Bella seethed.

To say I was shocked put it mildly.

"I uh..." I didn't know what to say so I stopped talking.

"Now you're speechless? Edward, he needs you. I need you because he needs you. It's time for you to man up. I'm sick and tired of trying to explain away your absences. I know work keeps you busy and you have a whole other life, but the second you brought Tanya into his life he became second best."

I went to interrupted her, but she put her hand up, effectively silencing me.

"Let me finish. At first I explained it away because you were newlyweds and I knew you needed your time. But do you realize how many times you left Nathan disappointed and feeling abandoned? Do you know how many times he came to my bed crying, asking what he did to make you not want to spend time with him anymore? Or if he did something better, would you make the time to come see him? Do you realize how many times I tried getting you to be involved or talking to you about it just to be pushed aside? I stood for it then, but I will not stand for it now! That little boy loves you to death, he idolizes you as if you were the reason the sun rises, and you can't even make time for him now! Enough, Edward, I'm over this."

She threw her hands up and turned away from me again.

"My dad left my mom," I blurted out.

Bella stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around to face me.

"I'm sorry." Her tone sounded honest, but I could see the intrigue in her eyes.

"You should sit down." I motioned towards the chair next to me, but Bella shook her head no.

I proceeded to give her the story my dad gave me about the letter, the security camera, the arrest, and so forth. Bella sat patiently and listened to every word I said without trying to interrupt so once I was done I braced myself for her reaction. I silently prayed this wouldn't result in her keeping me out of Nathan's life or going back on our new found living arrangement.

"Edward," she started. "Until Nathan is of age and can make this decision for himself, she will not be allowed to see him." Bella's tone was calm, but forceful and I knew this wasn't a debate.

"I understand," I stated so she knew I got what she meant.

"I don't need to hear that, I need to know if you are going to stand with me or against me." She looked up at me and I could see the tears brimming on the edges of her eyes.

"I am with you." I took her hand and lightly squeezed.

I then told Bella I was going to run downstairs to my office to change and grab a quick shower, but I'd be back up soon.

When I got back Nathan was awake, smiling and laughing with Bella. He was still too small, but at least there was a resemblance to the boy I once knew.

"Daddy!" he cheered and I smiled.

"Yeah I'm here," I answered. I walked over to his bed and took a seat.

"Where did you go last night?" he wondered and I looked up to see Bella forcing back tears.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have walked out. I went to make a phone call, but it's no excuse. I promise not to do it again." I lowered my lips to his forehead.

"Okay." His eyes didn't lie, though; he didn't believe me.

Nathan began talking to Bella again and I slowly began to feel like an outsider. He was talking about events at school, baseball, and his friends. I realized I didn't know any of it, so I sat and listened. I laughed at the appropriate times, but otherwise I just soaked in as much information as I could.

I found out he was suppose to be one of the munchkins in the school's production of The Wizard of Oz. He was excited because he actually had two lines, but when he asked Bella if it was too late she promised to call the school and find out.

He asked if he could still play baseball. Bella said he could as soon as he was well enough to leave the hospital.

When Bella asked him if he was excited to see his friends at school his face changed.

Similar to the night before, it was as if the light left his eyes and he was transplanted back to where he was when he was found.

"I made a new friend, his name is Jimmy." The eerie quiet of his voice spooked even me. "At the cabin he would tell me stories so I'd stay awake. Papa Charlie always told me if I got lost, find shelter, and stay put. Someone would always find me. Jimmy made sure I was found." The last bit came out in a whisper.

It was pretty obvious that Jimmy was some sort of imaginary friend that Nathan had made up during his ordeal. I made a mental reminder to mention this to Dr. Banner. A quick look at the clock revealed he'd be at the hospital within the hour.

In the time it took me to check the clock, Nathan had returned to his "normal" self again. I was concerned about long-term psychiatric effects this could have on him, but of course nothing would be official for a long while now.

"Did I miss my birthday?" Nathan asked and I jumped in finally knowing the answer to something!

"I'm afraid you did," I replied and he sighed.

I hated seeing him so upset so I quickly told him that as soon as he was out of the hospital we would throw a party with all of his friends.

"Is that okay, Mom?" he asked and Bella nodded. I sorta jumped that gun, but I didn't think Bella would mind. Even if we didn't use her house, I could rent out the bowling alley or something.

"Are you going to come, Dad?" Six words. That was all it took, six small words and my heart shattered.

I choked back a cry and nodded. Traitor tears were already leaving my eyes when I kissed his forehead and whispered, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Do you promise?" he asked again, and behind his eyes I saw all of the hurt and mistrust I had put there.

I had never felt more like a failure in my life, but at the same time it sparked something within my heart. I knew after that day I would never be the same dad again. I knew that I would do whatever I needed to in order to become the dad I wanted to be.

"Yes, I promise. Nothing will keep me from celebrating your birthday. Do you know what kind of party you want?" I figured it would be a good idea to hear what he'd like so we could start planning.

"Well, Corey Newton thought he was so cool because he had laser tag at his party and Millie Crowley kept bragging about pony rides." He rolled his eyes and I chuckled. "Do you think we could go bowling? They have laser tag there and it's really fun when they turn the lights off with everything glowing. That's cool, right Mom?" He turned towards her and it was just another reminder of where I stood in his life.

She laughed, "You'll be the coolest boy in school."

There was a knock and I saw Dr. Banner waiting to come in.

Nathan went back to his version of quiet as he eyed Dr. Banner.

"Nathan, this is Dr. Banner. He's here to talk to you," Bella explained and I smiled. I had hoped our presence would make this easier on him.

"Hi," Nathan squeaked out. His voice was off, not the normal eight year old child he was a mere thirty seconds ago.

"Hello Nathan. Do you mind if I sit down?" Dr. Banner pointed to the chair at the side of his bed.

He had come in casual clothes that he had told us would make Nathan feel less like he was talking to a doctor and more like he was making a new friend. I had heard of this approach before and it was commonly practiced in Pediatrics.

Nathan nodded.

"I brought you something," Dr. Banner reached into his bag and pulled out a Superman action figure.

Nathan's face immediately broke out into a smile as he took it, but the white knuckling of the sheets moments prior did not go unnoticed.

"Nathan," Bella's voice was rang out.

"Oh sorry, thank you." Nathan stopped long enough to rush out before he went back to tearing the box open to get to his new toy.

We all sat around for about fifteen minutes before anymore words were spoken.

Nathan eventually looked up and noticed everyone staring at him.

He was a smart child, he knew why Dr. Banner was there.

"Do I have to talk about it?" he questioned.

"Only if you want to. Otherwise we can talk about school, friends, what you like to do for fun. I heard you played baseball."

"Can I still keep the toy if I don't talk about it?" Nathan asked and I held back a laugh. It was moments like this today that reminded me of the boy he was a few short weeks ago.

"Of course, although there is something special about his particular toy."

Nathan's eyes flew up as Dr. Banner explained that the action figure represented him. He went on to explain that when he was ready he would like him to point out where he got hurt during his time away.

Nathan just nodded absentmindedly while he continued to play.

Silence took over again before Nathan looked up.

He then pointed to the toy and said, "That hurt the most."

**A/N~**

**Update again next week, I will always update once a week, no later than Friday. Review Replies will have a teaser for Chapter 12 this week.  
**

**If you didn't get the alert, I posted my submission for The Cherry Exchange called Breaking Faith! Polls open Dec 5th for judging! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6463280/1/Breaking_Faith

**On twitter I am SammieLynnsMom and if you don't follow, TwiFicTrivia you should! On Wednesday, there is a special Cherry Addition so please come out for that! **

**I'm also co-hosting a contest called Baby It's Cold Outside! Anything winter theme goes! We're accepting submissions until November 30th! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~babyitscoldoutsidecontest

**Weekly Fic Rec: Riding The Fence by morethanmyself Not only is she my bestest, but she is also an amazing writer! She updates on Wednesday and I have the privileged of pre-reading. I promise you won't be disappointed, so check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6448691/1/Riding_the_Fence

**I'm leaving the poll for Blind Intentions Outtakes up the rest of the week, so if you haven't voted yet, please do! I'll begin working on them soon. They'll post a separate story which I'll announce on twitter, or put me on author alert.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**WOAH! Y'all truly are the best readers around! Thank you to all those reading, reviewing, & reccing!**

**A HUGE shout out to MsEm & the admin of the Twilight FanFic Addics (TFFA) for recommending Blind Intentions on their facebook page! Go check them out, if you're not following them already! They have tons of awesome stories rec'd as well! Lots of my favorites!  
**

**I own nothing, because if I did there would be NO chess playing on a honeymoon!**

**

* * *

**When Nathan pointed, I was not expecting him to point to the mouth on the Superman doll.

"How did it get hurt, Nathan?" Dr. Banner asked without missing a beat.

"He put a strange smelling cloth over my face. I don't remember anything after that until I got wet."

Hearing Nathan talk about his time away, even just bits and pieces, was like an out-of-body experience for me as his dad. He was Nathan in the flesh, but the way his mind seemed to shift, he almost spoke too nonchalantly. His answers were straight and to the point, not at all what you'd expect to find in the stories of an average eight year old. Their imaginations are still running wild so facts generally can't be trusted.

"Are you going to come back again?" Nathan asked when Dr. Banner stood up to leave.

"Do you want me to come back?" I found this technique interesting since Nathan didn't exactly have a choice in the manner.

Nathan's forehead scrunched for a minute before nodding, "Yeah, you're cool." Then he shifted back to my eight year old son I knew before. Watching his personality shift was very unnerving, and it was just another reminder of the long road we had ahead of us.

Dr. Banner motioned for Bella and me to follow him towards the doorway, but not outside the door.

When Nathan saw we weren't actually leaving the room completely his shoulder's sagged in relief.

"Nathan seems to be handling everything well. I'm just not sure how long his internal defense mechanisms will hold, but I'm going to go back to my office and write up a plan. We'll continue to take things slow and handle each problem as we come to it. Does that sound alright?"

Bella and I both nodded.

"I'd like to come back in three days. If there are any drastic changes I want a call immediately. I need you to pay attention to his actions; anything that seems extremely out of character for him I need written down. Do you have any questions?"

I went on to explain "Jimmy," which Dr. Banner agreed was an imaginary friend formed because of his trauma. He told us to watch how much he was referenced to, and how "life like" Nathan made him seem.

He continued to emphasize that we should not push him to talk unless he prompts us to, and that it would be a good idea to let him know about the household merge sooner rather than later.

We said our goodbyes and walked back towards Nathan's bed together.

Bella looked up at me and I nodded, signaling it was time to let Nathan know about our new living arrangement.

As Bella began explaining that he would be moving into her house permanently and that I would also be there I could see Nathan get anxious. His eyes started darting around the room, his breathe seemed to quicken, and the monitor for his heart alerted me to his elevating pulse.

"I don't understand. Where will you stay?" Nathan snapped towards me. I jumped at his drastic change of body language, but I answered as calmly as I could.

"Well Buddy, your mom told me there is a guest bedroom at the end of the hallway so I'll stay there." I didn't think he needed the details behind me selling my house just yet, so I didn't elaborate.

"Where will Tanya stay?" Bella's face paled at the mention of her name while Nathan's heart rate continued to climb. It finally clicked in my head that she was why his mood had changed so drastically. He assumed if I was moving in, so was she.

"Nathan, Tanya will no longer be living with us. She won't be a part of my life anymore, which means she will no longer have to be a part of yours. You will never have to see her, ever again." I enunciated each word confidently and I could see his breathing begin to normalize. Bella had caught onto the monitor and we both watched his heart rate normalize.

The emotions on his face were unreadable until he finally asked if she did this to him.

I wanted to say no, but I knew I shouldn't lie so I simply nodded.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered to him. I lowered my lips to his forehead as a wave of guilt overtook me. This time I wasn't able to keep a tear from falling.

"Why are you crying?" Nathan yawned. He was still weak and I had been surprised he had stayed up for as long as he had already, so all I wanted to do was tuck him in. However the little voice in the back of my mind reminded me, _"No lies"._

"I'm just happy you're back and I'm so sorry I brought her into your life."

_'Honesty, I could do honesty'_ I thought to myself.

He yawned again, and his eyelids became too heavy as he drifted off before our eyes.

Once Bella was satisfied that he was truly asleep she stood up and walked over towards me. I continued to sit facing Nathan with his hand on my palm. I could feel a tight squeeze on my shoulders alerting me that Bella was hugging me.

"Thank you," she whispered and I nodded.

The sensation of Bella's arms around me was different then anything I'd felt before. Even when we were dating and had shared a few kisses, I hadn't felt such a...a...overwhelming sense of calm. It wasn't a spark like electricity, but more like a wave of serenity. I finally felt like I could relax, that we'd really get through this stronger than we were before. I still felt guilt for putting us in this situation, and I wanted to go back to really attempt a real chance with Bella, but if we could just get through this intact, like a real family, I would be happy. I only hoped I had the strength to do it and that I wasn't too late.

Charlie walked in shortly thereafter and I asked him if we could get away to talk. It was time for me to man up and finally hear the answers to the questions I had.

Bella told me she'd call Alice to see if she could come sit with Nathan for a while. She needed to go home so she could shower, eat, and get a fresh change of clothes. I offered to stay behind, but she waved me off as she went to the nurse's station to borrow the patients phone.

Walking out with Charlie made me nervous. He offered to eat at the cafeteria with me, but I needed to get away too. Charlie offered to drive us up to the diner. I accepted, although I second guessed myself when I took a seat in his cruiser and spotted his gun.

I was happy to see the diner was relatively dead when we pulled up. Forks was a small town with a lot of gossip-happy women more than willing to listen in, just to share later with the rest of the town.

We took a seat in the booth furthest from the door. Nancy came up to take our orders. She was a nice enough lady who I knew had worked at the diner almost all her life. Her husband had passed a few years back and her children were older and moved away. I often wondered why she stayed, but I imagine it was the security. After a few pleasantries were exchanged I asked for a coke while Charlie ordered the salisbury steak with extra gravy.

"That is horrible for your health you know," I commented absentmindedly on his choice of food.

"So was screwing around with my daughter," he shot back. "Yet you've still seemed to live through it." The second part came out more like a grumble, but he had a point.

I half coughed, half choked over his comment.

"What do you want to know?" Charlie asked after taking a sip of the coffee Nancy had brought him.

"Everything. As much as you know, starting from the beginning."

I sat patiently with my ears open to every word he said. Charlie explained that Garrett's original confession didn't line up with our known time line of events, so when he went back to question him, getting the true confession wasn't hard. He had talked himself into so many lies as soon as Charlie pointed a few outs Garrett started talking. According to Garrett, he had been seeing Tanya for about three months, but they had been talking closer to a year. Charlie said they had the phone records to prove it, but that most of the time, Garrett resided in Alaska.

In the several months leading up to Nathan's disappearance, Garrett was flying in weekly. Charlie had pulled bank statements and found an account Tanya had opened up in her maiden name that showed charges for different restaurants, shopping, and hotels. All of which were mainly in the Seattle area. He said it appeared she never met with him during the times we would have had Nathan, but I continued to wrack my brain at how I had missed this. I knew I was busy at work, but I missed a three month long affair?.

Charlie went on to explain that from there it got a bit sketchy. There wasn't a pay off of any sort and it didn't appear that Tanya had plans to end things with Garrett. He explained that their motives were still unknown. Garrett continued to swear that once Nathan was gone he and Tanya were running away together. Charlie speculated that Tanya just wanted Nathan out of the picture so she no longer had to share my time, but since that theory didn't line up with Garrett's words it all still unknown.

Charlie's food arrived and Nancy offered to bring me something, but I waved her off. At this point I didn't feel like I could eat. My brain was still processing all of the information I had just learned. Between bites, Charlie explained Garrett's second confession to me. Apparently this had taken place after Nathan was found. This one included waiting for Tanya to bring Nathan to the bus stop and nod at him. Then he tackled him and used chloroform to silence him, drove to La Push, threw him off a cliff, and drove off, all the while planning to run away with Tanya. Needless to say, food was the least of my worries.

As Charlie took the last few bites and the haze I had been in started to dissipate, I noticed him looking at me expectantly.

Charlie cleared his throat before asking, "So I hear you're moving in together?"

"Yes, sir," I answered.

"Don't sir me, Edward," Charlie's tone had switched from a cop to a father rather drastically.

"Sorry."

"Yes, you'd better be." Charlie didn't take crap from anyone, but especially me.

I dropped my head down and sighed. I knew I had a lot to make up for at this point, but the constant reminders just continued to kick me down.

"Edward, as I told you last time, I will protect my daughter. Stop walking around like a sad boy who lost his puppy and be the father we all saw you to be when Nathan was younger. You weren't always so stuck up and self centered. Bella may have it in her heart to forgive you, but do you really want to take that chance with Nathan?"

Charlie was right and I knew it.

"I know, it's just..." Before I could get another word out Charlie slammed his mug down. I watched Nancy jump out of the corner of my eye, but Charlie put his hand up.

"Damn it, boy! I don't want to hear I know. I know you know, I also know what you've done to my daughter!" He was yelling now. "When she brought you home I knew she was in trouble. Everything about you breathed mama's boy. Then to find out I was not only right, but you continued to let your mother stomp all over my daughter for months while she was pregnant. Bella has always been independent, a product of her mother. The second you both did what you did she was gone...she's stuck in a life she deserves more out of. So don't you dare make another excuse to me Edward. Truth is, you're rather lucky I believe in following the law or that psychotic woman you call a mother would have been dead long before she had time to write that bogus letter!"

I sighed.

We settled the bill and Charlie dropped me back off at the hospital.

"Thanks for the ride," I nodded at him.

"Fix it," he barked before driving away.

My mind was so gone that when I walked through the hospitals doors I collided with my father.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"It's alright. I'm glad I ran into to you, though. Emmett and Rosalie were asking if they could see Nathan. Do you think you could talk to Bella about that?"

I nodded and we exchanged goodbyes.

When I got back up to Nathan's room Bella was sitting at his side. She was stretched out on a recliner with a book and for the first time in days, she looked almost peaceful. She smiled when I came back in and my body urged me towards her. The feelings were so foreign I shook them away and walked over to Nathan. I placed a lone kiss on his forehead before taking a seat near Bella.

Even though I practically lived at this hospital before, actually having my son here was more exhausting then a double shift. Not only was it physically draining, but also emotionally. At least while I was treating patients my mind didn't have the ability to lull and count the seconds on the clock.

"Bella?" I called out after a while had passed and Nathan hadn't stirred.

"Yeah?" She looked up from her book and I felt all of the air rush out of her lungs. She was dressed in a simple royal blue warm-up suit, her hair laid over her shoulders with absolutely no artificial beauty added, yet she looked breathtaking.

"Edward?" she called out, breaking me from my momentary loss of consciousness.

"Huh?"

"You wanted to ask me something..." She trailed off and my brain caught up to where I had left off.

"Oh yeah, I ran into my dad. He mentioned Emmett and Rosalie wanting to visit, but I needed to ask you first if that was okay?"

"Yeah that's fine." She shrugged and turned back towards her book. I could tell by her flippant response she didn't mean it, but I wasn't sure how to press forward.

"Bella, if you don't want them," I started, but she cut me off.

"I said it was fine, Edward." Bella's tone alerted me that she was now irritated.

When Bella and I first told my family, the reactions were very mixed.

My mom went off, Alice ran out of the room in tears, Emmett didn't say a word, and my father acted with indifference. All in all, not the way I had pictured the reaction of telling my family I was expecting my first child.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"Are you ever going to let me apologize? Like really apologize?"

"Not today. Are you still coming over tomorrow to start moving in?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Then we'll talk then."

"Okay." I wasn't sure what else to say. Part of my brain was busy putting ideas together of ways to make it up to them.

_Taking them on a vacation to anywhere they wanted._

_Taking Nathan to a baseball game. _

_Buying Nathan the new PlayStation 3 he was asking about._

However, when I mentally went over that original plan, I realized how insincere the ideas were. Bella had made it clear to me that money was not an issue and she couldn't be bought, so any idea involving money was quickly out. I made a mental note to keep thinking and maybe call Alice in for advice.

Nathan woke up a few more times that day, but never stayed awake long. He was handling the liquids and the IV nutrition so well that we decided we would let Nathan try a few simple foods; jello and a popsicle.

"Mom, really?" Nathan whined when we saw the lack of options.

"Nathan, your father already explained. Your body has to build itself back up before you can have a cheeseburger."

"I promise you, as soon as you're ready, I'll buy you your first burger," I interjected.

"Fine." Nathan rolled his eyes, while Bella hit me on the shoulder. I shrugged and she laughed. It was the first time everyone's guard seemed to be down, and it just served as a subtle reminder of what could have been.

Nathan's primary arm was still in a sling so, after refusing help, he continued getting more of the green jello on himself then in his mouth.

Bella continued to laugh, gaining her a few glares from Nathan, but all in all he ate about half of it.

"You can stop laughing now," Nathan huffed as Bella wiped his chin.

"Sorry, this just reminds me of the time your father gave you green beans for the first time. You absolutely hated them, but he was so determined for you to eat them. I think you spit most of them back at him then he ever got in your mouth."

"You still won't eat them," I added.

"You were there?" Nathan asked, astonished.

"Of course I was," I answered immediately. "Nathan, I was there for all of your firsts, except your first word. You chose to tell your mom 'dada' while I was in class, but I heard it that night."

"Oh." His face looked hurt. I realized I may have snapped at him, but I was angry. How could he question whether I was there? But then it hit me; he couldn't remember those times.

I thought I heard him mutter that I wasn't there for his first baseball game and I sighed.

I sat down next to him and looked into his eyes. "I will never miss another first again." I had hoped I conveyed the message I wanted him to hear, but I couldn't be sure.

He ended up falling asleep shortly thereafter.

Bella dipped out shortly before sunrise to grab breakfast while I stayed with Nathan. I hadn't slept much the night before, his face was on repeat and my brain wouldn't shut down.

Emmett walked through the door shortly after Nathan woke up the next morning.

"Uncle Emmett!" Nathan cheered. His response was a better reaction than I had gotten as of late.

"Where's Rosalie?" I asked.

"In the hallway with Bella, we saw her while we were walking in," he answered before walking over to Nathan.

"Nathan, I'm gonna go get your mom." He waved me off and it felt more like a dismissal.

When I rounded the corner I heard Bella hiccup, it was obvious she was crying. I could hear them talking, so instead of storming over to them to figure out what Rosalie had said to upset her, I listened.

_"What am I suppose to say, Rose? I'm sorry the doctor suggested this, but I can't have you living in my house. That's selfish," Bella sobbed. _

_"You have to keep yourself sane, Bella. What are you most scared of?" Rosalie asked.  
_

_"Everything. I know Edward is trying to be a better father, but what do I do when he decides Nathan isn't important anymore? I mean, the first few years he was great, and then she came along and he just disappeared. The shift was slow, but what happens when that happens again? How do I explain that to Nathan?" My heart was breaking after hearing Bella confess this. Not only because she hadn't said this to me, but also because I knew she believed it.  
_

_"I'd kill him for hurting that little boy like this. And that evil mother in law of mine, I've never liked her," Rosalie sneered.  
_

_Bella scoffed, "I hate her! And I don't hate anyone!"  
_

_"Are you scared...I mean of falling for him?" Rosalie's ask, her voice barely a whisper.  
_

_I wasn't sure I was prepared to hear the answer to this question, but I stayed and continued to listen. _

_"What? No! I haven't thought about Edward like that in years, and I'm talking like eight years," Bella brushed off Rosalie's question quite quickly. I knew I shouldn't feel hurt by her words, but I felt like my heart had been ripped out and jumped on.  
_

_"But you've thought about it before?" Rosalie pushed.  
_

_"Sure I did. When we first met, I really liked him and our relationship was building until he brought me home. We could have been perfect; well maybe not perfect, but we could have lasted. I wanted to make it work with him and it didn't take much effort. At the time he held all the characteristics I wanted. That was until I realized who he really was." Bella didn't know how true her words were...we could have been perfect.  
_

_"But now?" Rosalie question.  
_

_"I don't even know him anymore, Rose." I was numb and decided I couldn't listen anymore.  
_

I exaggerated my presence so they would know I was there.

"Nathan's awake." It was all I needed to say to bring Bella to her feet and running for the doors.

Rosalie lingered behind.

"I knew you were listening."

I didn't answer.

"You really fucked up."

That was all Rosalie said before she left me in the hallway.

Yet another person reminding me how fucked up I really was.

* * *

**A/N~**

**As always, update in a week, no later than Friday**

**On twitter I am SammieLynnsMom, I recently had to make it private, but I will accept requests as long as I can tell you're from the fandom  
**

**Review replies this week are a teaser for Chapter 13, which may or may not be a HUGE talk between Edward & Bella ;) **

**Weekly Rec: A Room With A View by ShrtHappyLife I really don't understand why this story doesn't have more reviews since it's brilliant! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net /s/6326472/1/A_Room_With_a_View

**I recently wrote a one-shot for The Cherry Exchange called Breaking Faith, check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net /s/6463280/1/Breaking_Faith

**Polling for Outtakes is now closed! 87 people were polled and survey says: 1. A Tanya POV on Bella & Nathan, 2. The One-Night Stand, & 3. The Break-Up Thank you to everyone who took the time to vote! If your choice wasn't top 3, don't fret. Top 3 are guarantees, but it doesn't mean I've ruled all of the choices out in the future! Please feel free to put me on author alert as these outtakes will post as it's own separate story! I don't have a date set yet, but around Christmas is a good guess :)  
**

**Submissions for my contest Baby it's Cold Outside are still open until November 30th! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~babyitscoldoutsidecontest

**Blind Intentions is currently up for 4 Avant Garde Awards! Best Must Read, Saddest/Most Crying, Best Shock Value, & Best Kid for Nathan! Thank you to all those who nominated this story! Check out all the details at: **http:/twilightfb-awards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/


	13. Chapter 13

**There aren't enough words to describe how awesome each and every one of my readers are!**

**Blind Intentions is up for a Rare Gem Award for Best Angst & Four Avant Garde Awards! Check it out and vote! Links at the bottom.  
**

**Thanks to stupidlamb118 for betaing & morethanmyself, CheyenneMasen, and maxandmo for pre-reading!**

**I don't own Twilight, if I did, well the wolves wouldn't exist? :)**

**

* * *

**

Rosalie's words stuck with me as I trailed behind her and Bella as they made their way to Nathan's room.

When I walked in, Nathan was talking animatedly to Emmett about his first baseball game. A pang of regret washed through me as he recounted the tale of hitting the ball and making it to second base. Even though hearing the stories of events I'd missed were hard to swallow, I knew deep down listening to them would help. As much as the constant reminders hurt to hear, they also served as my driving force to never go back to the deadbeat father I was just weeks ago.

By some people's standard definition I knew they wouldn't consider me "deadbeat". I kept up visitation, I contributed to child support even though Bella never touched it, and I was technically in his life. However, I wasn't living up to the standard I'd set for myself when we learned Bella was pregnant.

_"So you don't want to be with me?" Two days after Bella broke up with me, she offered to meet me at a coffee shop close to her dorm. _

_"No," Bella's answer echoed in my head. _

_"What do you want?" If we weren't going to be together, I wasn't sure where that meant I fell. Obviously I was still the baby's father, but I felt placeless. _

_"I want...no need, you to be the baby's father. As long as you do that, I see no reason why we can't remain friends." She shrugged as she spoke and even though I felt dismissed, I could see the defensive wall behind her eyes. _

_"Okay the.," I nodded at her. Bella needed to know I was going to be there regardless of the title of our relationship. "So, when is your next appointment?" _

_We ended up staying at the coffee shop for another hour or so talking about logistics and the future. _

Rosalie immediately stood beside Bella and placed her hand on her shoulder. Internally I was confused. As far as I knew, Rosalie and Bella didn't talk.

When we first announced the pregnancy Emmett's reaction to the news was indifference while Rosalie was furious. They had only just gotten married and she felt "one upped" by the timing. Her and Emmett were still basking in their newlywed status among our family and in walked the youngest son with a baby on the way. Their spotlight was quickly stolen and she was hurt by that. It was never my intention to steal their thunder, and for the longest time I hated Rosalie for being so selfish. When push came to shove, my life didn't exactly end up how I had envisioned.

Several years later Emmett and I shared a heart-to-heart after a Thanksgiving meal had gone poorly.

_"Honey, you must bring Nathan by tomorrow. We'll have plenty of pie left over," my mother pushed. _

_"He's with Bella for the weekend," I replied, trying to avoid the topic of Nathan and Bella. My mother's hatred of Bella was no secret and although I didn't exactly understand why, I trusted her judge of character. _

_"Oh," was her only response, before she turned to Rosalie and made an off hand remark about how she was excited for her to give her grandchildren soon. _

_Rosalie choked up, "Yeah, it'll be nice." _

_"When do you think you're going to give me some grandchildren? At least I won't have to worry about visitation schedules." My mom's remark was actually a jab at me, but Rosalie burst into tears and ran up the stairs. _

_Emmett muttered a few choice words before following up after her. My mom didn't even act the least bit shocked and my dad just stared wide eyed at me. _

_"You should apologize," I told my mom. Rosalie had already been acting strangely, so I knew something more had to be going on. Normally she'd walk in feisty as ever, but today she acted more mousy and shy. _

_"All I wanted to know was when they'd have a child. They've been married almost four years now. Hell, even you have a child." I rolled my eyes because I knew where this was going. My mom wanted me to meet a nice non-gold digging woman who I could marry and have more children with. I had heard it all before. _

_Sitting at the table with just my parent was slowly starting to suffocate me. I'd been living in Forks for less than a year and my parents had only recently moved in behind me. When Bella first asked about moving I shot her down, but then she burst into tears. She explained that she needed to be near her dad, but didn't want to move Nathan so far away without me following. My residency was over and I had several jobs offers lined up, some to a few pretty amazing hospitals. Before Nathan I would have jumped at the chance, but seeing Bella give up so much and only asking for this one thing, I gave in. We moved to Forks a few months later and I started working at the local hospital there. It wasn't glamorous, but it helped me realize I didn't want to follow in my father's footsteps of being famous within the profession. _

_When my parents moved to Forks our dynamic changed. "Family" oriented events began to end in chaos because of my mom and Bella. As a result, Bella announced she would no longer be attending family functions. Now not only was this my first Thanksgiving in Forks, but it was also my first holiday away from Nathan. Bella was cooking at Charlie's house while I spent time with my parents, Emmett and Rosalie. Alice had decided on a ski trip with some friends instead of coming here. It was her last big thing before moving here over Christmas break. _

_When Emmett and Rosalie still hadn't come down after twenty minutes of listening to my mom prattle on about more grandchildren, I excused myself and rushed up the stairs. After reaching the top I realized Emmett was sitting outside the bathroom door, his head down in his hands as they rested on his knees. He looked defeated. Soft cries could be heard through the door as Rosalie broke down. _

_"Hey," I whispered. Emmett snapped his head up and I realized he was crying. I motion with my head for him to follow me into the guest room parallel to the bathroom. He sighed, but followed. _

_"What's wrong?" I asked. I kept my voice low so that Rosalie wouldn't hear us. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I also didn't want to upset her more. _

_Emmett stayed quiet, almost like he was trying to decide what to say. Eventually he blurted out that Rosalie can't have children. To say I was shocked was an understatement. Of all the things I was expecting to hear that wasn't one of the assumptions I had made. Emmett quietly explained an event that happened in Rosalie's life that left her scared from the inside out. She only had one working ovary and after two years of trying they had given up and looked into IVF. In secret they had done two implants, the first was an immediate loss. The second lasted ten weeks and Rosalie had just miscarried three days prior. They wanted to keep it a private matter, but of course my mom's comment had shattered her. I offered my apologies, but was otherwise rendered speechless. I knew nothing I could say would make it better and I didn't want to further risk upsetting Emmett by making an offensive remark. _

_After a few minutes of silence Emmett asked why I was there. Confused I just looked at him dumbfounded, "Why wouldn't I be here?"_

_"Don't you and Bella get together for holidays and stuff?" he asked. _

_"Bella doesn't want to come to things Mom is at and visa versa, so we're splitting the holidays now," I explained. _

_"I see." Only two words, but two words that felt like a judgement. _

_"Dude, I understand mom doesn't like Bella, but I still don't get why you're here. You should revel in whatever time you have with your son. You and Bella still get along right?" I nodded. "Then get out of here. I don't see the issues everyone has with Bella," Emmett trailed off. _

_"Hold on, when you first met her you..." He cut me off. _

_"I know what I said, but Edward it's been almost four years and she hasn't taken you to court and hung you to dry. Maybe we were wrong?" he suggested. _

_"She left me, it doesn't matter anymore." I shook my head to get even the thought of dating Bella out of my head. She had made it perfectly clear that "we" were never going to happen. _

_"Whatever dude, all I'm saying is you should be thankful for the time you have. And the son you have." He looked away. I gave him a hug and left, letting him know to give Rosalie a hug from me too. _

_When I got downstairs my parents were no where in sight and Emmett's words were weighing heavily on my heart. I snuck into the kitchen and stole one of the three pumpkin pies my mom had made. I then darted out of my car and drove to Bella's house. _

_Bella told me she was taking Nathan to her dad's so I had no idea if she would be home, but since it was only 7:30 I hoped she was. I spotted her white Focus in the driveway and I got excited. I rushed to park the car and practically ran to the door. _

_When Bella answered she was shocked to see me, but quickly let me in. They had only gotten back from Charlie's house about thirty minutes prior and Nathan was already in his PJs._

_Instead of sending Nathan to bed, we all enjoyed pumpkin pie while watching 'A Christmas Story' on television._

I realized I was smiling at the memory of how that Thanksgiving ended when Bella called me out of my trance.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Where did you go, Dad?" Nathan asked.

"Just thinking about our first Thanksgiving in Forks," I replied honestly. He shrugged my comment off and went back to talking to Emmett. I noticed Rosalie had also joined in their conversation. They were now talking about cars.

"Hey," Bella whispered as she walked up to me. "Rose offered to sit with Nathan once he falls asleep tonight. That way we can go start packing and get you set up before Nathan is discharged. I want it all done and in order before he comes home."

Rose?...Rose?...I'm her brother in law and would get crushed if I called her Rose!

I made a mental note to ask Bella later about her relationship with Rose.

"Okay, that sounds fine," I agreed. Bella was right, not only did I need to pack and get organized, but I also planned on using this as a way to talk to her. Alone and away from any distractions.

"Where did you really go a second ago?" Bella questioned.

"Our first Thanksgiving in Forks," I answered. I was being honest the first time around.

"What about it?" she asked.

"I miss us being a family," I sighed.

Bella huffed and walked away from me. Her reaction wasn't exactly the response I was hoping for, but I was hoping she would open up to me later.

Emmett and Rosalie left about an hour after they came and Rosalie promised to be back around six that night.

During Nathan's afternoon nap I went shopping for boxes and borrowed Emmett's truck. He complained about having to drive my "pansy ass" Volvo around, but I promised to return his "baby" as soon as I was done with it.

_"Thanks," I nodded as we finished loading the rest of the boxes into the cab. _

_"Just don't scratch it, okay?" he pleaded and I rolled my eyes. _

_Emmett started walking towards my Volvo. "Hey," I called out towards him. _

_He looked back, acknowledging that I had been heard. _

_"When did Rosalie and Bella become friends?" I knew it wasn't my place to interrogate him, but I wanted an idea. _

_"They're not really friends." He shrugged. "Rosalie needed ideas for his birthday present so she got her number from Alice. They talked for a bit and I think a few times after that, but I wouldn't call them friends." _

_"Okay," I drew out._

_"Look, I think Ro just feels sorry for her, ya know? I know our family is sorta a mess right now, but there was a reason we left the country for a while. Things blew up with mom and well, I think we both had the fog clear our heads completely._

_"Bella didn't deserve what she got. She's definitely not who I thought she was and Rose feels the same way. It's nothing personal Edward, but I'm on Bella's team. You're my brother and I love you, but you've got to cut the cord. _

_"I know I'm one to talk, but man...just don't let those two slip away. Nathan is worth it, Bella too." At the end of his lecture I sighed. I almost told him to get in line to verbally flog me. _

_When I turned to walk away when I heard Emmett call out to me again. _

_"Edward, I'm not saying any of this to be mean. You're my little brother and I love you. I also know what you're capable of. Any lesser of a man wouldn't stand a chance against the mountain you have to climb. Just get your priorities straight and it'll fall into place." _

_I acknowledged his comment with a head nod before turning towards the truck and climbing in. _

By the time I got back to the hospital Nathan had woken up and was more than glaring at me when I walked in...cheeseburgerless.

"When can I have real food?" Nathan complained as he stared down the tray of jello and pudding set out in front of him.

"A few more days, buddy," I chuckled before kissing his forehead.

"Nathan, I'm gonna run out and grab something from the car," Bella announced. "Will you be okay with your dad?"

"Yeah...yeah," Nathan pouted. "You don't have to lie, you're going to eat...real food."

"I love you, honey," Bella smiled before darting out. Nathan wasn't naive, she was going to get lunch.

I sat down next to Nathan on his bed while he continued to eat the food on the tray. When he was done I pushed it away and helped him clean off his face. He didn't like it, but he knew it needed to be done. His arm would be in a sling for a few more weeks and until then, he'd just have to accept help.

"So you're really moving into Mom's house?" Nathan asked out of the blue.

"Yeah, I really am," I smiled. The thought of being under the same roof as Nathan full time made me smile. I was hopeful that it would give me a chance to not only step up for him, but also reconnect us back to where we were several years ago.

"I see," Nathan mumbled. His face was unreadable and even though I feared my next question, I needed to hear the answer.

"Do you not want me to move in?" I braced myself for his answer.

Nathan was quiet for a few minutes, before asking me a question I had never expected to hear. "Do you love Mom?"

"Um...Nathan, wow," I stuttered trying to find the correct wording for the answer. "Of course I do. I mean, she gave me you. I will always love your mother for that, but if you mean like a boyfriend likes a girlfriend then no. We don't have that sort of relationship, Nathan."

Nathan didn't reply, but he looked deep in thought. I couldn't tell if he was trying to analyze what I said or if I had upset him with my answer.

"Nathan, nothing will change your mother's or my love for you. It just didn't work between us, sometimes adult relationships are complicated." I kept babbling on trying to explain, but he just looked up at me as if I had lost my mind.

"Could you ever?" he questioned. His eyes held so much hope that I was terrified of shattering his heart.

"I don't know, Nathan. Your mom and I have a lot to work on. I don't know what the future will bring. Regardless though, we are both always here for you. Always." I enunciated the word always to get my point across.

"You weren't always..." he half whispered and my heart broke.

"Nathan," I took one solitary finger and raised his chin up so that he was looking up at me. "There are far too many things I have to be sorry for and for that, I am even sorrier. I know my words mean nothing to you, but I swear to you Nathan, I'm here for you. You're my son and I love you more than anyone else in this world."

He blinked and sighed. My words were still empty to him, but it was the most I could give at the moment. If I could move Earth to prove my love for him I would, but I knew it would take time and consistency.

"I love you, Daddy," Nathan whispered and my heart warmed. My face glowed as I kissed his cheek.

"I love you more than any words could ever describe, son." I could feel tears rising in my eyes, but I kept my breath even.

Nathan started to get drowsy again and I could see his eyes fading.

"Nathan, when you're all fixed up and out of here, how does a Mariner's Game sound?" I asked last minute. It still wouldn't be enough to make up for what had been done, but a baseball game would be fun. Father and son bonding, and I'd even buy Bella a ticket if she wanted to tag along.

"Do you promise?" His eyes were hopeful.

I nodded..

"Okay," he sighed as he drifted off to sleep.

Bella walked in moments later with an awestruck look on her face. I hadn't noticed her before, but I wondered if she overheard any of our conversation.

"How much did you hear?" I asked, more out of curiosity then anything else.

"Enough," she answered with a warm smile. "You ready for tonight?"

"Yeah. I was thinking I'd head over to your house to take a look at the space available and then head over to mine to start packing. I'm going to hire a moving company in a few weeks to pack the rest up and put it in storage to get the house ready for showings."

"You're really selling it?" Her eyebrow arched.

"Yes. I don't want it," I snapped. Bella jumped a little and I realized my tone. "Look Bella, even if you kicked me out after night one I wouldn't move back in there. I can't move on if I'm stuck in a house with memories etched into every corner. There may have been a few happy moments, but the bad outweighs the good."

Bella looked deep in thought, but said no more.

Time ticked slowly away, Nathan woke up again, but not for long. Before either one of us realized the time, Rosalie was walking in the door bright eyed and armed with her laptop.

"Thank you for doing this," I told her genuinely. I appreciated her taking the time to camp out in Nathan's room while Bella and I both got the housing situation finalized.

"No problem," Rosalie smiled as she set up shop in the chair closest to Nathan.

Bella and I left the hospital in our separate vehicles. Even though we were heading to the same place I assumed I would be heading over to my house alone while Bella continued to organize her house-our house?

Was it our house now? Surely not, but it reminded me I needed to ask Bella about a subject I dreaded...money.

Bella's house wasn't as big as mine, but I had to admit it felt more welcoming. Pictures of Bella and Nathan hung on the walls, a few buckets of toys lined up in the living room, with their shoes sat on a rack by the front door. The walls were a neutral tan that made the room feel warm and inviting. A stark difference to the black and white and stainless steal Tanya had re-done our house in.

When I walked further into the living room I stopped dead in my tracks as I recognized the picture hanging above the mantel.

_"Edward, remind me again why you can't be home tonight?" Tanya whined for the second day in a row. _

_"I'll be home, but late. I'm getting pictures done with Nathan," I explained. _

_The year Nathan was born we decided to have a "family" picture done for Christmas. Bella even begrudgingly let me pay for it the first time. After that, we'd set aside a day and get pictures taken. It was important to us both that even though Nathan wouldn't be raised in a conventional family, he would still be able to look back and see his parents together and happy._

_"Is it just you and Nathan?" she questioned. Tanya didn't like Bella, but understood she came with the package._

_"No, there will be at least one shot where Bella and Nathan will sit with me," I answered. _

_"I don't get it, Edward," she complained. "It's not as if Bella is your family."_

_"Yes she is," I snapped. "Bella is Nathan's mother, that makes her part of my family."_

_Tanya left the room but didn't touch the subject again. _

_Every year we continued to have pictures done. We never missed a year. _

"What?" Bella asked when she noticed me staring at the picture.

"Nothing," I shook my head. "I didn't realize you hung the pictures up." I motioned to the wall.

"Why wouldn't I?" Her brow furrowed. "What do you do with them?"

I didn't have an answer. I'd get the prints in the mail and bring one to work, but I never thought to hang it up on the wall. I shrugged and Bella didn't push.

"So this is what I have to offer." She gestured down the hall to follow.

First she opened the door to her spare bedroom. There was a queen sized bed in the middle of the room with a matching dresser and nightstand. The walls were painted a warm green and the decorations were all green with gold accents. The room was a decent size and more than enough for what I would need. She motioned for me to open the closest door to me and I found a bathroom that was shared with Nathan's room.

"Sorry, only the master bedroom has it's own bathroom," Bella apologized. Although it would take some adjusting, I didn't expect sharing a bathroom with Nathan to turn into a major ordeal.

We walked out of the bedroom and into her study. Her desk was located in the center of the room while overloaded bookcases took over most of her back wall. Some of the shelves were so packed with books I thought moving one would make them all fall out...Jenga style.

Bella saw me chuckle and apologized. She explained that she'd been meaning to get a few more bookcases it just was never high on her priority list. With the layout of the room being so open, we easily pushed Bella's desk back and towards the left corner while I would move my desk towards the door and up to the right.

"Do you have any questions?" Bella asked after we were done moving furniture.

"Um, key?" Bella's eye's widened like she had forgotten something, then walked over to her desk and produced a shiny silver key for me.

"Thanks," I smiled as I grabbed the key and began attaching it to my set of keys.

Bella and I walked to the front door and I was surprised when she grabbed her keys.

"Do you not want me to help? I figured Nathan's stuff..." she trailed off looking embarrassed.

"No, No! I just didn't know you wanted to," I replied honestly and smiled sheepishly at her. I really hadn't expected her to go back to that house. Hell even I didn't want to go back to it.

"Yeah, may as well get it done," she replied nonchalantly. We left with Bella opting to ride with me in Emmett's truck.

The ride over was silent with only the sound of the radio playing in the air.

Walking into the house felt foreign and I could almost see walls begin to form around Bella. It was dark and white and open and smelled like Lysol. The cleaning supplies Tanya had been using on the kitchen before she disappeared were still out and open. I'd only popped in one other time since Nathan had been found and things ended so poorly with Bella then that had I forgotten to put it all away.

"I'll be in Nathan's room," Bella quickly announced before grabbing one of the boxes I had hauled in and disappeared.

We both spent several hours. Bella hadn't emerge from Nathan's room until the box she filled was an overflowing mess. I had spent most of my time packing up my clothes, a few pictures of just Nathan and I, important files from my desk, and basics from the bathroom. When I had really took the time to inventory all the nicknack's and decorations, I realized none of them meant anything to me. I was sure I'd find stuff long put away in the attic that I'd want to keep, but nothing stood out to me. After much protest from me, Bella helped me get my office desk down the stairs and into the truck. I was concerned that it was too heavy and she told me she wasn't that weak. She ended up being right when she had no problem helping lift the desk into the truck bed and assisting me with securing it down.

"Did you get everything?" I asked as I loaded the last box.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Hey did you happen to grab the baseball and glove from Nathan's room?" I called out.

"No, he already has those," she dismissed. Bella climbed into the truck as I ran back into the house to grab my old glove and ball.

When I got back to the car she gave me a suspicious look when I handed them to her. She looked over the glove and I assumed saw my initials when I heard her "hmm". Nathan made me promise I would take him out to play ball using my old stuff. I hadn't made good on that promise yet, but I would be once he was recovered.

Once we were back at Bella's she set out to find us something to drink and make a snack while I unloaded the boxes. It was already pretty late and both Bella and I wanted to get back to Nathan.

Unpacking went easier than I expected because I hadn't brought much of anything. Bella put the box of Nathan's things in her garage to sort through later and I had my boxes done in a matter of thirty minutes. Putting the desk in place caused us the most grief, but I heard the oven sound as we finally set it down in place.

Bella had made a simple hot artichoke dip she said only needed to be heated up with some chips. While we sat down to eat and relax for a little while I decided it was time to talk...really talk.

"Hey Bel?" I was hoping to catch her attention since she seemed a bit off in space. She looked up at me, signalling that I had her attention.

"We need to talk about a few things," I hedged and she nodded.

"First and hardest, money?" She huffed. She had been huffing at me a lot and it was starting to irritate me. "Yeah, yeah, I know you can afford it on your own, but if I'm living here I'd like to contribute in some way. No matter how little or small, give me something."

Bella stayed quiet for a minute before telling me I could buy whatever groceries I wanted and she'd give me the electric and water bill. Satisfied, I nodded.

"What is your schedule like?" I asked.

"Um, we'll have to talk to the school about what Nathan has missed, but he wakes up, eats breakfast, goes to school, I run around or work, pick him up, homework, play for a while, bath, and then bed," she rattled off like a list.

"That's how it was at your house, right?" she asked.

"Um..." I actually didn't know. It had been months since I had been home long enough to experience a full day home with Nathan.

Bella rolled her eyes, "Just ask when you get confused."

"Bella," I started. "I know my words mean next to nothing to you. And I know saying I'm sorry is going to pale in comparison to what I've done, said, and allowed to happen. All that put aside, I want you to know I'm not blind anymore. I've made so many mistakes, but I refuse to go back on my promises to you and to Nathan. I will be here, and I am so sorry that I hurt you. And that I let Esme hurt you and God," I looked down and ran my hand through my hair. "Fuck, I'm sorry, words are failing me. I know we're not as close as we were before, but I want to get back to that. I want to try to be more like a family. Like we were..." I trailed off and Bella piped up.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear you say this?" Bella's voice sounded grim and I started to brace myself for her true reaction. "Edward, it's been almost nine years.

"NINE YEARS!" she screamed. "Why, Edward? Why did it take Nathan almost dying for you to see this," Bella started sobbing, "I just don't get you. You used to care about him, you used to go out of your way to be his father, and now you're nothing more than a stranger." Hysteria took over and I sat shell shocked. I was completely out of my comfort zone and I had no experience with how to handle this situation.

Bella put her head on the table, but I stayed glued onto my chair. I didn't know what would happen if I physically attempted to comfort her and I wasn't sure I could talk if I tried.

Several minutes passed before Bella looked back up at me. I slowly inched my hands to her before placing my hand over hers.

"I don't have all the answers, but I'm here now. I know it's not much and you both deserved more than I gave, but please just let me try, please," I begged.

She nodded, "If you hurt him, I will kill you." Her voice cut through me like glass as I weighed the seriousness of her words. "I can't let you hurt him again. I will always choose Nathan's side, unlike you." It was a low blow, but she was angry and I deserved it.

Instead of fighting Bella, I resigned myself to take whatever lashing she wanted to give me. Not only did I know it was deserved, but I also wanted everything out in the air before we brought Nathan home.

"Bella, there is something else; something Nathan said earlier." I was uncomfortable bringing this topic up now, but on the off chance he brought it up to her, she needed to be warned. On top of it all, I felt like I had to come clean about overhearing her talk to Rosalie.

"Nathan basically asked if we'd ever be together again... romantically." I explained what I had said to him about our never ending love for him and that is just didn't work. Bella just listened and nodded a few times.

"You handled that well. I haven't heard him ask that in a while." I was a little surprised that she dismissed his statement so quickly, but apparently she'd heard it all before.

"Are you and Rosalie friends now?" I blurted out.

"Um we've talked a few times, she apologized for before, but I don't know if you'd call us friends. Why?" When she looked up at me I was memorized by her eyes.

"I accidentally overheard you talking and..."

I watched Bella's entire relaxed stance dissolve before me. Her eyes snapped up, back straighted, and shoulder's tensed.

"You were listening?" Bella was horrified. Disgust was prevalent on her face. "How dare you listen in on my private conversations, Edward!"

"I didn't mean to, I only heard a little before I came to tell you about Nathan," I started making excuses even though I knew I heard more than I should have.

"I don't care, you just don't do that! What if I was talking about..." She went quiet, but I could see the rage etched on her face. "How am I suppose to trust you if you're sneaking around?"

"Bella really I didn't...I wasn't...crap, I'm sorry." I was defeated.

"Go on..." she spat. "What do you wanna know? There has to be a reason you brought it up." Bella's defenses were high.

"Bella, I heard what you said to Rosalie about before, when we first met. I know you think you don't know me anymore. Do you ever think...what I mean is, if you got to know me again, do you ever think there could be more? Not now, but in the future? Once everything has calmed down and we've gotten Nathan to where he needs to be. "

Shock registered on Bella's face as her mouth slightly fell open. Her eyes began darting around the room before landing on mine.

"No, I don't," Bella answered confidently..

As much as her answer hurt to hear it was one I knew I needed to know.

"Thank you for your honesty," I replied, hoping my voice would stay even enough that she wouldn't know that I was actually upset by her answer. Getting to know this Bella more over the past few weeks opened me up to a woman I had no idea existed. One I wanted to pursue and could see a future with, but she didn't feel the same about me. If I were her, I doubt I would've either. At least now I knew what playing field we were on...Nathan's.

"We should head back," she started before standing up to grab her stuff. She turned back to me before we left. "Edward, you're here for Nathan and Nathan alone. Please, don't confuse that." Her eyes looked pleading and I thought I saw trace amounts of tears. Unsure of what to do, I simply nodded and followed her out the door.

**

* * *

**

**A/N~**

**Review replies this week are a Chapter 14 teaser. **

**Update again next week, no later than Friday! **

**SammieLynnsMom on twitter**

**Weekly Rec: Evermore Experience- It has been a long time since a mystery story has caught my eyes and this story is amazingly under appreciated! Seriously, check it out...it's AWESOME! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6035144/1/Evermore_Experience

**Currently hosting the Baby It's Cold Outside Contest! Submissions accepted through November 30th! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~babyitscoldoutsidecontest

**Blind Intentions is up for a Rare Gem Award for Best Angst! Go vote! **http:/thesparkleteerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)

**Blind Intentions is also up for Several Avant Garde Awards! Go vote!** http:/twilightfb-awards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/vote(dot)html

**Breaking Faith is my submission for the Cherry Exchange. Voting starts December 5th! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6463280/1/Breaking_Faith


	14. Chapter 14

**All of you are absolutely amazing and I hope my fellow Americans enjoyed the holiday weekend. For my international readers, I hope you had a great weekend too! Thanks to stupidlamb118 for betaing and morethanmyself & CheyenneMasen for pre-reading!  
**

**If you have not seen today's PicTease for this chapter, I highly suggest looking there before reading. Apparently morethanmyself says the visual is needed for the end :) And a huge thanks to TwiSherry for all the hard work she does, each week ensuring that BI gets a PicTease up every Monday! **http:/pictease(dot)blogspot(dot)com /#Blind%20Intentions

**I do not own Twilight, because if I did, I'd see more than an arm covered in feathers LOL**

**Longer A/N at the bottom :)**

**

* * *

**

If I were being honest with myself, I had to admit I was mildly disappointed that Bella wouldn't even entertain the idea of a future with me. Not that it was a guarantee to work out, but the idea of not even trying didn't sit well with me. However, I knew that if I were in her place I wouldn't want much to do with me either. I had allowed her to be bullied, tormented, and teased at the hands of my family. I idly sat back and ignored Nathan as life moved on around me. And, most of all, I brought Tanya into our lives.

Shortly after returning back to the hospital I stepped outside to leave a message on my lawyer's answering machine. It was too late for him to answer, but I needed Jenks to begin looking into a way I could divorce Tanya without her present to sign the papers. Money really was no object... I'd even okay bribery, I just wanted the situation resolved and closed. She would no longer be a part of my life regardless of what my future held.

Bella slept restlessly in the fold out chair next to Nathan's bed while I sat staring out the window. It had been years since I sat down to evaluate my life, not since a few days before I got married, and my brain wouldn't shut off. I started to realized that the hopes and dreams I once had for my life were so far gone I wasn't sure I could fully turn myself around and achieve them.

In terms of career moves I felt confident becoming a doctor. My love of children and understanding of medicine made me a good Pediatrician. In of the state of Washington I was well known and liked. I prided myself on the knowledge I held and the amount of children I treated; long hours just seemed to come with the territory of being a doctor. Looking back now I wasn't so sure I felt comfortable in that path. I knew I wouldn't give up medicine, but I also wasn't sure I wanted to go back to working in a hospital. My dad had informed me shortly after we discovered Nathan was missing that he put in for a six month leave absence on my behalf. At the time I thought it was too long, but now I had thoughts of trying to double that time...maybe even triple it.

When I thought about the shambles my love life was in, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I'd never forget the day Emmett walked into the Groom's Room to level with me on my wedding day.

_"You're sure?" Emmett asked me for the millionth time that day. He never liked Tanya much so I wasn't surprised at all the goading I was getting. _

_"Yes, I'm sure," I sighed, exasperated that I had to repeat myself so much. The truth was I wasn't sure. I loved Tanya, but the idea of waking up to only her for the rest of my life didn't excite me as I thought it should. She got along well with my family, except Emmett and Rosalie. She was nice and caring and we seemed to share the same views on important subjects, but I just never felt a spark with her. _

_"Dude, I promise I'll get you out of here. Just say the word and we're gone," he pushed. I rolled my eyes, but internally was debating his offer._

_"I'm getting married today, Emmett." I tried to keep my voice cool and calm, even a bit forceful. _

_"To the wrong girl," I heard Emmett mutter under his breath. I never bothered asking him what he meant since five minutes later I was standing at the altar waiting on the ceremony to start. _

At the time I brushed it off as pre-wedding jitters. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider calling the entire things off when the door opened. Of course I saw her face, and the faces of my family beaming at me, and realized that settling for Tanya couldn't be all that bad. I also didn't want to crush her by running out on her wedding day, so I stood by and took my vows.

Over time I realized I could handle Tanya by dealing with her in small doses. My time at the hospital and with Nathan helped act as a buffer for when I needed a break. It wasn't until Tanya broached the idea of children that I really started to pull back.

When Bella and I found out we were pregnant with Nathan I was overjoyed. Logically I knew the timing was horrible, the circumstances were less than ideal, but the idea of watching her belly grow, feeling his kicks, and meeting him for the first time eclipsed all of that for me. When I tried picturing Tanya as Bella looked it made me ill. Looking back I could see where I pulled back more, living in denial that all was perfect as long as I stayed away.

Perhaps if I hadn't pulled away she wouldn't have hurt Nathan. Maybe I would have seen this coming. I shook my head of the thought because as much as I wanted to wallow in self pity I knew I couldn't. Not only were Bella and Nathan now counting on me, but I needed to be strong for myself. I made a mental note to ask Dr. Banner for a referral for someone I could talk to...alone.

Bella began to stir and my head snapped up. The sun was now starting to rise causing the tops of the outlying trees to glow. The view was beautiful, but one blink to my right and there was my son was laying in a hospital bed. That view was heartbreaking.

"Did you sleep?" she yawned groggily.

"No," I replied quietly, not to disturb Nathan.

"You should try to sleep before he wakes up," she urged. "Dr. Banner comes in today, right?"

I nodded.

I sat down as Bella began readying herself as best she could in a hospital room. Sleep still escaped me, but it gave me more time to focus on my previous thoughts.

After I started to understand that maybe my marriage was nothing but a hoax the entire time, I realized I had no place in trying to find or start a new relationship. Truly no one held my interest in that way, aside from Bella, but she had made it perfectly clear she had no room for me in her heart. I would accept that and never push her. Staying single was my best bet to getting my life back in order and I'd just have to remind myself if someone did spark my attention.

With my marriage and career accounted for, I made a mental note to contact a realtor about the house, a moving company about moving the contents to storage, and to call Alice. I hadn't seen her in a few days.

"Daddy?" I heard a small voice call from my right.

I looked up to see Nathan smiling at me. The glove and ball I had retrieved from my house in his hands. Bella tried to bring them into her house, but I stopped her and let them rest on the passenger seat as I exited the truck. When we arrived at the hospital I brought them in for Nathan. We couldn't actually play, but it would give us something fun to try...even if it meant upsetting all of the nurses on staff. Regardless I was still a doctor on staff at the hospital, so I doubt any would question me playing toss with my son, but it was still reassuring to know I had some power.

"Can we?" His eyes gleamed and I noticed Bella smiling behind her book. I nodded, but he frowned. That was when I remembered his throwing arm was in a sling.

"Never hurts to practice with the other arm," I shrugged. I had hoped by blowing off his disappointment it wouldn't make him self conscious. His beaming smile told me I made the right call.

"You're sure? I could hit something." Nathan looked around the room at all the machines, the glass on the window, and the glass wall between his room and the nurses station.

I smirked, internally wondering how long it would take Kathy to come in and yell at us.

Nathan's first few throws sent me running across the room gaining a lot of laughter from both him and Bella. Thankfully I was fast so nothing was hit, but as the time went on Nathan's aim got better and better.

It was wonderful to see him let go and be carefree, if only for a little while before his arm got tired. Kathy never ended up coming in, but I did see her roll her eyes in my direction. Giggling and laughter could be heard in the entire section I was sure. The only reason why Nathan was still in a PICU room was for the security. He really didn't need the extra supervision and monitoring anymore, but with Tanya on the loose, I didn't feel comfortable having him put in a general room on the Pediatrics floor. I also didn't feel like dealing with the few Pediatric nurses I knew that were probably throwing a celebration that I was now, for a lack of a better word, single.

Dr. Banner showed up promptly at nine o'clock and began his session with asking Nathan how the last few days had gone. I noticed that he didn't make as many references to "Jimmy" as he had after he first woke up, but he generally brought him up when he was stressed out or in distress.

"Do I have to talk about it again?" Nathan asked and I could see the shift in his eyes. It was like deja vu from the first day Dr. Banner was here. I assumed he noticed it to as his eyes darted to mine before settling back on Nathan's.

"Only what you want to," Dr. Banner prompted.

"The cloth...it smelled funny and then I don't remember anything." Nathan's voice was unnerving. It was like watching a scene from The Exorcist only the devil made him calm, eerily calm. Every motion, every blink, every eye dart seemed calculated, as if he was acting for an audience versus being the little boy playing catch with his dad twenty minutes prior. "And then I got wet and it was cold, really, really cold. The bag was zippered, but there was a little piece open at the top. My fingers felt like they were on fire, but I got the zipper open. Then I swam and swam and swam and I thought I wasn't going to make it." Nathan stopped talking and the room stayed silent.

Dr. Banner seemed to be letting Nathan lead his session. Bella looked like she was on the verge of tears, and I was thanking God in Heaven for the swim lessons we put Nathan in when he was three.

"I walked a lot. It was really cold, but I kept hearing Papa Charlie's voice in my head," Nathan went on. _"Boy, listen to me, if you ever get lost or get hurt I want you to find shelter and wait. Someone will be looking for you,_" Nathan mocked Charlie's voice earning a teary eyed smile from Bella.

Everyone continued to stay silent assuming Nathan would keep talking, but then he blinked. The shift in his face was not subtle at all as he shifted back to the son I knew. His eyes started to glow, his shoulder's relaxed, and his mood seem to lighten.

"Hey, where did Jimmy go?" Nathan's tone spooked me as I watched Bella and even Dr. Banner jump for a second.

"What do you mean, Nathan?" Dr. Banner questioned.

"He was just here, right? I mean, you saw him, right?" Nathan looked around frantically trying to find his "friend".

"Of course, is he gone now?" Dr. Banner pushed a little and Nathan nodded.

They began talking about normal everyday things, including the game of toss we had just done before Dr. Banner's time was up.

When he motioned us towards the door I froze. Little pieces of the puzzle began to click in my head and I knew Dr. Banner would be coming to the same conclusion I was. If we didn't find a way to fix this, or at least manage this, I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to overcome the guilt of what Nathan went through. I also wasn't sure how Bella was going to take this news.

"Edward, Bella," Dr. Banner addressed us both. "I'm concerned with Nathan's use of the character Jimmy. Watching his personality shift I'm beginning to think that Jimmy is more of an alternate personality versus an imaginary friend. Now, this isn't unheard of, nor is it unmanageable and even correctable given the circumstances.

"What I need you to watch for is Nathan giving any information away about his time away. What his personality and determine who he is talking behind. If it's Nathan or if it's Jimmy.

"I'm to understand he'll be released at the end of the week?" he asked. I nodded.

"Then I'd like to see Nathan in my office first thing Monday morning, is that agreeable?" Bella and I nodded. We set up a time before Dr. Banner left. As he walked away I didn't miss the glares I was receiving from Bella. I could tell she had a million questions for me, but we both knew we couldn't talk about any of this in front of Nathan.

Nathan yawned, but continued to fight sleep as we continued to throw a ball back and forth. Internally I was thinking about all of the knowledge i had on multiple personality disorders, their treatments, and their long term prognosis'.

"Can I come in?" I heard a males voice and a knock on the door. Jacob Black was standing in the doorway. I nodded as Bella introduced Jacob to Nathan. He had come around a few times the night he found Nathan, but he had always been sleeping.

"You're who found me?" Nathan asked. Jacob nodded and Nathan sighed in relief. "Good, I thought I'd made you up. Thank you."

They began talking about baseball, school, and cars before sleep overtook Nathan. Bella had pulled me aside to ask me about what Dr. Banner had said, but I explained I didn't know anything for sure at this point. We had to keep evaluating Nathan over a longer period of time, but I assured her we would get through it and I'd bring in the top professionals from across the country if I wasn't needed. Bella told me she wasn't done before offering to walk Jacob out.

"Oh you have company," Alice's voice rang through the room.

"No, no, come in," Bella urged. "I was just walking Jacob out, I'll be right back."

Alice walked in and noticed Nathan's sleeping form. Bella and Jacob had only been out of sight for a minute before Alice turned to me and said go. I was confused, before she shooed me off.

Before I could round the corner I heard voices. A sense of dejs vu watched over as I realized the last time i stood here I was listening to Bella talk to Rosalie. Thankfully i was close enough to hear Bella and Jacob's conversation this time.

_"He seems like a good kid," Jacob stated._

_"Yeah he is. He's my world." I was sure Bella's face was beaming as she said that._

_"It's good to see you and Edward are so good, for him I mean." Jacob sounded embarrassed._

_"Yeah, it's not an ideal situation, but we make it work." Bella shrugged off his judgment. _

_"Will he be out soon?" Jacob asked._

_"Yeah, a few more days we think. His weight is up and he's eating now. His injuries are still healing, but we can manage that at home," Bella replied._

_"I'm sure that'll be a relief. I was wondering if maybe I could still see him after he's home and um, maybe take you out. For like coffee or something," Jacob hinted._

_Silence_

_"Yeah, of course you can still see him." Bella's voice was now tight and I could hear her shutting herself off from him. _

_"And coffee?" Jacob hedged with her._

_"Listen, I'm not really in a place where I'm comfortable dating anyone. It's nothing personal, but I'm gonna pass." Bella's voice was still tight and guarded._

_"If not now maybe later..." Damn, this boy was persistent._

_"Maybe."_

Bella rarely said "maybe" and meant it as anything other than a "no". I realized I was about to do a happy dance before darting back into the PICU using my card to ensure I wasn't caught eavesdropping.

"Did you hear what you needed to?" Alice asked after I was sure she noticed my smile.

"Yes," I replied simply.

"I had a feeling you would," Alice winked seconds before Bella walked in, an annoyed look plastered on her face.

"So when do we get to bust him out?" Alice blurted out while pointing to Nathan's sleeping form.

"A few more days, right?" Bella turned towards me.

"Yeah, by Friday," I answered. I was excited to finally be able to bring him home.

"Awesome, we're going to throw him a party!" Alice cheered. Bella's eyes widened as my hand palmed my face.

"Oh don't worry you two, nothing big, just family. Let's see me, obviously. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, Dad, Charlie, and oh you can invite that hot guy from La Push, Bella," Alice rattled off. I gasped and Bella gagged.

"Yeah Jacob, we should invite him, but I don't know about hot, Alice," Bella's nose turned up in disgust.

"You don't think he's cute?" Alice's face looked genuinely curious. "I mean, I'm spoken for, but even I can appreciate a good looking man."

"Let's just say he's not my type," Bella replied while shaking her head. Right as she turned away from Alice I saw her wink.

_Yup, I had heard exactly what I needed to hear. _

"Um Dr. Cullen, Bella," Kathy called from the doorway. I rolled my eyes. Getting her to call me Edward was going to be impossible I feared. "There is someone outside asking for permission to come in and when I told her she wasn't on the list, well, she got a little verbal. She called herself Grandma Esme," Kathy looked baffled.

Before I could blind Bella had flown out the doorway and to the PICU entrance.

"Well, I didn't see this coming," Alice muttered as I stumbled out after her.

Grandma Esme? Who the fuck is...OH!

"Who are you?" Bella screeched as I rounded the corner to find her standing toe to toe against my grandmother. Polished bronze hair, black soulless eyes, and what looked liked the scars from several face lifts over the years.

"Edward, darling," she smiled as she forcefully brushed past Bella to get to me.

"What are you dong here?" I questioned, my tone clipped and cold.

"Is that any way to speak to your grandmother," she chided. "Why do you think I'm here. I have a great-grandson in there don't I?"

It took Bella a few minutes to recover, but she finally stumbled out of the haze that is my grandmother to stand with me.

"Your grandmother?" she whispered up at me and I nodded.

"And who is this?" Great Grannie Esme asked out loud. "Oh yes, you must be Isabella, right?" I nodded. "Oh right, the bastard's gold digging mother."

Bella gasped as I shot my arms out protectively around her. I wasn't sure if my actions were because I felt like I could keep the words from hitting her or if they were to keep Bella from getting into a physical fight. Either way my body reacted before my brain had time to catch up as I stood defensively in front of Bella.

"How dare you..." Bella seethed before throwing her arms up. "I give up, you deal with your family."

"No!" I barked a little louder than I had expected. "Stay, please," I begged with not only my voice, but my eyes.

"Again, why are you here?" I asked a little more forcefully. Bella huffed next to me, but remained at my side.

"Oh well since your father is now divorcing Esme we can't have her ruining the family name. She called and asked for our help, so we're here to bail her out or something," Great Grannie shrugged off.

"Or something?" I pushed. My patience was wearing thin and with what little knowledge I had of these people, 'or something' held a lot of meaning.

"Oh you know these small town folk, Edward. Throw a little money and problems start to disappear." She answered while waving her hands around as if she were actually throwing around money.

I could tell Bella wanted to kill her, hell even I was thinking about taking a swing, but I let her squeeze my hand as tightly as she had the day she brought our son into the world.

"So you're here to bail my...her out, correct?" I wanted clarification.

"Yes," Great Grannie answered simply.

"I see, and your thoughts on Bella?" I wanted that explained too.

"Well just look at her," Great Grannie gestured her hands up and down Bella's body. "You remind me so much of..._him_. All doe eyed, like you could just pee on something to claim territory. I told your mother then and I'm tell you now, people like.._.this_, well you were raised smarter than this.

"I can't believe my daughter didn't offer this earlier, but how much is it that you want? She should have gotten rid of it before you had it, just like I did for her. Now name your price and I'll write you a check, all you have to do is disappear and take the child with you," she sneered while pulling you her checkbook.

"Despite your preconceived notions, Bella is not a gold digger, nor is my son a bastard as you so eloquently put it. You will not, do not, and will never have permission to see him." Great Grannie looked outraged, but I kept talking. "Furthermore, I was raised to stand up for my family, which is exactly what I'm doing. Goodbye." At the end of my speech I locked my hand with Bella's and pulled her away through the PICU doors using my key card.

By the time we got back to Nathan's room my blood was boiling. Bella immediately took a seat next to Nathan's bed while I gave Alice the abridged version of what had happened. Alice kept huffing, rolling her eyes, and threatened murder after I relayed what Great Grannie had said about Bella. Bella, on the other hand, acted as if nothing had happened.

Alice left shortly thereafter saying she was going to warn dad and Emmett, but she also needed to plan for Nathan's homecoming.

I took a seat in my normal chair and drifted in and out of my own head space.

"Thank you," Bella's voice was almost too quiet to be heard across the room.

My head snapped up and I searched her eyes. She seemed sincerely confused.

"Why are you so calm?" I asked. We'd left my Great Grannie eyes wide, mouth open nearly two hours ago yet I still felt enraged.

"It's nothing I haven't heard before, Edward. She's just the first person to offer me money," Bella shrugged.

"I'm so sorry," my voice cracked.

"Doesn't matter now, but she will never see him. You'll give me the full story late, hm?" Bella went back to her read after I nodded.

Explaining my Great Grandmother's presence would not be easy, but mainly because I wasn't sure of the whole story. I knew they had disowned my mother long before I was born, but I had no idea why. Part of what she had said about Bella and comparing her to someone didn't make sense either. However, at this point I didn't have time to worry about it, as I had other matters on my mind.

"Bella, what is the security system like at your house?"

**

* * *

**

**A/N~**

**~Update next week, before Friday**

**~Chapter 15 teasers in all review replies...aka Nathan's Homecoming Chapter!  
**

**~Blind Intentions is being voted on in the Rare Gem Awards and the Avant Garde Awards! **http:/thesparkleteerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/voting(dot)html http:/twilightfb-awards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/vote(dot)html

**~Breaking Faith is my Cherry Exchange One-Shot. Public voting starts Dec 5th! It's a ChristianWard & Ella **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6463280/1/Breaking_Faith

**~All entries for the Baby It's Cold Outside O/S Contest by November 30th! If you don't write, check out the entries. Voting starts Dec 1st! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~babyitscoldoutsidecontest

**~Weekly Rec: Friday's at Noon by troublefollows1017 Simply amazing! The first chapter had me rolling and each chapter continued to hook me into it! Seriously, it's a true must read! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6453369/1/Fridays_at_Noon


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you all SO much for reading, reviewing, reccing, talking in the Twilighted thread, RTing on twitter...etc. I appreciate it more than you could possibly know!**

**Thanks to stupidlamb118 for betaing & morethanmyself, devonmaid, CheyenneMasen for pre-reading. **

**I own nothing.  
**

* * *

When Nathan woke up shortly after Bella and I met my Great Grandmother for the first time, he was none the wiser of what he'd missed. Bella and I agreed we'd talk about it all when we had more privacy and Alice hadn't returned back with any updates. I continued to play catch with Nathan, much to the dismay of the nursing staff.

Friday was quickly approaching and as happy as I was to bring Nathan home, part of me was terrified. Bella and I hadn't slept under the same roof, minus the few weeks while Nathan was away, since he was an infant. At the time we were both so busy with school and life that we never had to actually deal with each other very much. I was constantly sleep deprived while I put in time at my classes, the hospital, and then all-nighters with Nathan and Bella was no better. By the time life settled down Nathan's first year had zoomed by and I was in my own apartment setting up a room for my toddler.

Today was Thursday. Tomorrow we'd be bringing him home...or at least to Bella's house. I ducked out of Nathan's room as soon as he drifted off for his afternoon nap because I wanted to be back by the time he was ready to eat dinner. He was slowly becoming more accustomed to normal, hard foods, but we were still taking it slow. However, I promised my son a cheeseburger before he left the hospital and he was going to get it.

That was how I found myself weaving in and out of traffic as I rushed back to the hospital. My brilliant idea of running to McDonald's for a Happy Meal while he was napping came with one flaw. The closest McDonald's was in Port Angeles and it was going to be frozen by the time I got back. Had I truly been thinking, I would have ordered a burger from the diner, but I hoped he at least appreciated the sentiment even if I had to nuke it in the microwave.

When I got back I was surprised to find Charlie in place of Bella. I hadn't really seen him the past few days. All I knew was that there were still no new leads.

"Hey," I nodded in greeting as I set up the tray table. I looked down at my watch and realized I had about five to ten more minutes until Nathan would wake up.

"Bella just ran to the house to shower and change, she should be back soon," he announced.

"Any news?" I asked. I knew he would immediately come to us if he had, but I still found myself asking.

"Nothing worth knowing. We're following a few leads, but most are ending up empty. Garrett's bail was set, but it's pricey so I'm not sure if anyone is going to front for it. Your mom's bail was set, but last I knew she hadn't been bailed out yet either. I'm kinda surprised since your dad..." I looked up and he stopped talking.

"Um, he's divorcing her." I was amazed at how easily the words fell from my tongue. No emotion, no regret, just simple facts.

"Oh, I had heard that, but I didn't know if it was actually true." Figures the gossiping women of Forks would be all over the divorce of the rich doctor in town. I internally eye-rolled as I continued setting up dinner.

I had picked up two Happy Meals for Nathan, because frankly he wasn't five anymore and I didn't know if one would be enough. I ordered a Big Mac with fries and a coke for me, plus the Bacon Ranch Salad that I knew Bella used to love. I wasn't sure if she still ate it or not, but I didn't want to leave her out. As an afterthought I ordered three apple pies, but skipped on the sundaes. That was when I realized my plan had backfired when I thought about the forty minute drive it would take me to get home.

"What ever happened to Kate?" I wondered out loud. Charlie quickly piped up to let me know she had left Forks, presumably to go back to her hometown. She said she'd be sending papers down for the divorce, but outside of that he hadn't heard anything else.

"Edward, anything you care to share with me?" Charlie asked after a pause and I froze. Had Bella gone to him about our talk? Would she do that? Fuck, what do I say?

"Umm..." I mumbled.

"Is it true you have a new family member in town," he prompted and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah. She's my mother's mother, but honestly this was the first time I've ever met her. My mom's family disowned her before she met my dad, I'm not really sure why though. She made a few funny comments yesterday and compared Bella to someone, but I don't know the who or the why. All I can say is watch out. If what we saw was even a taste of her, she'll expect you to jump for money," I rattled off. I was actually surprised Charlie hadn't seemed to have met her yet considering she told me she was hear to bail my mom out.

_My mom. _

It sounded so weird to keep saying those words. I almost wanted to say Esme, but it would take me re-programming my brain to do so.

"You'll keep her away from Nathan, right?" He asked. I turned to answer him when I heard him tack on, "And Bella too."

"Of course, I'll protect them any way I can." It was the truth. After Great Grannie Esme showed up, I asked Bella about the security system at her house. She assured me she had one of the best ones out there because Charlie made her get it, but honestly I was tempted to suggest hiring a team of security guards . I knew she would tell me it was overkill, but until Tanya was caught, my mother was locked away for awhile, and no more crazy relatives showed up, I wanted to know they were all as safe as possible.

Bella walked through the doorway a minute later and I saw her eyes widen as she took in the table.

"I wondered where you were going," she smiled towards me. "This is perfect, he'll love it." I absolutely loved seeing her beam at me. Finally, I had done something right!

"It may be a bit cold, I wasn't thinking about the drive back," I stated nervously.

"Don't be, it's the thought that counts, Edward. He's going to be thrilled," she reassured me.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nathan beginning to stir as Charlie said his goodbyes. He promised to be back tomorrow for Nathan's "special" homecoming as he called it, although neither Bella nor I had a clue what that meant. He muttered the name Alice and we both knew not to ask questions by that point.

When Nathan opened his eyes I watched as his nose seemed to inhale more noticeably then he'd ever seemed to before tonight.

"McDonald's?" He looked so angelic and innocent, I just wanted to save the image in my head forever. I nodded and the cutest grin played on his lips.

"Now it may be a little cold," I warned as I pushed the bed's tray table over him as he sat up to eat.

"Don't care..." he took a bite. "Must eat..." and another. "So...so good." He devoured french fry after french fry while alternating with his cheeseburger.

The doctor in me screamed to tell him to slow down, but the dad told the doctor side to shut the hell up.

Bella started picking at her salad while I made work of my own meal.

I'd hoped this would be the first of many family meals to come in the future.

"I get to go home today, right?" Nathan asked bright and early Friday morning. Bella was still asleep in her chair, but I had been up for a little while.

"Yes," I answered with a smile.

"How much longer?" He started to bounce while I lightly put my hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"Lunch time, we're just waiting on your last blood draw results and then it's just a matter of paperwork," I explained and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you, Son." I smiled down warmly at him, but was greeted with an eye-roll.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Nathan shrugged off and I heard a cough/laugh behind me.

"Grandpa," Nathan called out as my dad walked in wearing scrubs.

"How are you this morning?" he asked as he took a seat on Nathan's bed. They chatted about how excited Nathan was to go home, his cheeseburger experience, and all the things he wanted to do once he could take the sling off his arm. Dad played along, talking animatedly back until breakfast arrived via Alice. She popped in only to lay before him a meal fit for a King; pancakes, egg, bacon, sausage, toast, and jam.

I could see my dad having the same internal debate I was about the meal. Nathan did suffer a tad bit after gorging on his McDonald's dinner, but I kept my mouth shut only because Nathan was never a huge breakfast eater. If he attempted to eat everything before him, I'd remind him of the night before, otherwise I'd keep my mouth shut. My dad seemed to come to the same conclusion as we both stepped into the side corner of the room.

"Your sister has quite the day planned out," he commented absentmindedly.

"That bad?" I asked warily. The truth was I was terrified at how Nathan would react with too much fan-fair. He needed stability, normalcy, and structure.

"She's basically taken over my hospital, Edward," my dad deadpanned.

"Fuck," I muttered. My dad's eyes widened, but I shrugged.

"There is no party tonight, right?" I asked. Alice had said she was planning a party, but never told us when. If she thought there would be one tonight she was sorely mistaken. I wouldn't allow that to happen. Nathan would go into sensory overload.

"Not that I'm invited to, but I have it on good authority to know you'll be escorted home by Forks PD and the fire department."

My mouth fell open in shock.

"No," I gasped.

"Yes," my dad pressed.

"Fuck."

"What's wrong?" Bella's voice startled me. My back was towards her and I hadn't seen her wake up.

"Alice." It was all I had to say and Bella understood.

When my dad warned that Nathan was going to be escorted home he was far from lying.

First walked in Charlie and every officer that helped with his case. They were all in uniform and together, pushed his wheelchair to Bella's car. From there we were part of a police escort home. It appeared every one of the patrol cars and the local firetruck were on hand, sirens blaring as balloons and signs lead the way to Bella's house. Nathan seemed to be enjoying himself as he waved to the people who we passed and pointed out his name on all of the signs we passed on the street.

Once we arrived at Bella's house we saw it decorated. Balloons and posters lined the outside, while she had dumped confetti lining all the way up the driveway. I felt that was not only excessive, but horrible for the planet. Bella complained about getting the confetti off her tires.

"Hey, no bank robberies in your future," I joked as she parked.

"Huh?" Bella was lost.

"You're going to leave a trail for days," I laughed and she huffed.

"I can't believe she did this," Bella muttered under her breath. "Edward, tell me this won't hurt him." She turned to me after Nathan had already gotten out of the car and started talking to some of the officers that were parked and out of their cars.

"I don't know. It doesn't seem like it has, but Bella we really don't know the extent of his trauma yet. When we see Banner we'll have a better idea. He hasn't popped out of himself in a few days, it could be temporary," I rambled on and on.

"What if it's permanent?" The fear in her eyes was not missed by me and my heart broke. Not only because I was also scared for Nathan's future, but because I knew I could have prevented all of this from ever happening.

"We'll get through this." I gently squeezed her hand before exiting the car.

"Dad, isn't this cool?" Nathan beamed and I did my best to hide my anxiety behind my smile. The truth was I was waiting to see how Nathan acted once all of the excitement was gone.

Thankfully Charlie picked up on my apprehension and all of the officers pulled away several minutes later. I was a little shocked that Alice hadn't followed us back to Bella's house, but when she still wasn't there after fifteen minutes I figured she'd took the hint that I wasn't pleased.

_"I was only trying to help," Alice pouted. _

_"I know that, but you have to understand he can't just snap his fingers and go back to the way things were. His mind needs time to adjust. Alice, why didn't you ask me about any of this?" I exclaimed, exasperated. _

_"I didn't think..." she stuttered when I snapped. _

_"Of course not, why not ask his parents!" I threw my hands in the air. _

_"I'll tell them all to go home." I could see the tears in her eyes and as bad as I felt, I was still more scared for Nathan. Partly because Alice couldn't make it all go away, Nathan had already had a glimpse of what was to come and was now expecting it. _

_"Too late," I sighed as I motioned with my head towards Nathan who was talking to the officers as he sat down in the wheelchair. _

_"Can this really hurt him?" Alice's voice sounded broken. _

_"I hope not," I stated before turning around and joining Nathan and Bella. _

Walking into Bella's house with Nathan for the first time since his kidnapping brought both relief and nervousness.

I could see Bella watching Nathan as he made his way through the house, traveling from room to room and taking notes on all of the changes that were made in his absence. When we moved me in, I was surprised that the majority of Bella's house remained the same. However, even the subtle changes of a few new books or my coat hanging up on a hook were all noticed by Nathan's eyes.

"So," he turned towards me. "You really live here now?"

"Yes," I answered.

"So are you and Mom like," he looked deep in thoughts, before finishing, "together?"

"No," Bella spoke up first. "Nathan, why don't we sit." Bella motioned to the living room where Bella took her chair, Nathan took the couch and I took the ottoman.

"Nathan, your dad is going to stay with us for a while, but this isn't permanent. We don't have an exact time frame, but even when your dad moves into a new house of his own, he's still here for you." Bella looked up for me in support so I quickly took over.

"Nathan, I'm here to help you to get better, but also me, too. I haven't been the father you deserve and I intend on fixing that, but when I do move out and find a new house, you will be as welcomed there as you are here, at any time. You will always come first to me."

Nathan looked disappointed and it brought me back to the conversation in the hospital when he asked if Bella and I would ever be together romantically.

When Nathan looked back up his emotions were unreadable. I knew we just needed to continue to give him his time and space, and allow him to work out his own emotions as needed. When Nathan's eyes narrowed at a book across the room my head snapped to the side to see what he noticed. To my adult eyes I saw nothing out of place, but to Nathan, he saw a closed folder with a few pieces of papers haphazardly sticking out. In a flash he was across the room with the file open before either Bella or I could blink. Then I realized he had seen the photos Bella had found from his room at my house.

"Where did you get these?" Nathan was outraged.

"I found them at your dad's house," Bella answered as she crossed the room to him.

"Why did you go through my stuff?" he cried. "These are personal, Mom."

"I didn't mean to," Bella explained. "But I did, and when you're ready we'll talk about it." Bella's voice stayed calm and collected the entire time she spoke and I envied her ability to stay even tempered.

"Why do I need to talk about them?" Nathan asked, confused.

"Nathan," I piped up causing both Bella's and Nathan's heads to snap at me. "I think we have a lot to talk about. What your mom means, is that when you're ready we're here to listen." Bella nodded letting him know she agreed.

"Yeah...yeah, talk when I'm ready." He rolled his eyes. "But why would I talk about these?" He held the pictures out for me to see.

"Nathan, I'm going to be honest and say as your father, and as a doctor, those pictures concern me."

He continued to look confused and even agitated until Bella piped up and asked Nathan flat out why they were drawn.

"Some kids in class were making fun of me because I'm the only one in class who's parents aren't married. They said it must have been my fault." He seemed to shrug the comments off now, which made me wonder exactly how old the pictures were.

"When did you drawn them?" I asked.

"Last year. I don't even remember where I put them," Nathan sighed. "I'm surprised you found them, Mom."

"So you drew Tanya in black with lines over her because you thought she's the reason why your father and I aren't together?" Bella asked her question so quickly it didn't dawn on her the name she used until Nathan went rigid. He snapped out of it quicker than I had seen before, then muttered, "pretty much."

Nathan took off to his room after that conversation, leaving Bella and I awestruck at the situation we were just in. The folder Bella had left out was supposed to go to Dr. Banner at our appointment on Monday. I was a little nervous about the bigger gap of time between visits, but bringing Nathan home was a huge stressor for his body and mind, so a drive to Port Angeles on top of it all wasn't advisable.

I did have to admit that I was temporarily relieved that those pictures weren't because of some long standing abuse neither Bella nor I knew about. At this point, Nathan wasn't showing any signs or indicators that she was abusive to him outside of the day he was kidnapped. I still didn't know if my assumption was completely accurate, but I was thanking God for small favors.

Bella excused herself to check on Nathan while I sat down and relaxed for a minute. Bella's house felt so different from mine and as much as Bella had told me to make myself at home, it still felt strange to just walk in as if I'd lived here forever. The truth was that being in her house, living exclusively in her world for however long I stayed, was going to be difficult. Everyday I would wake up with the reminder of what I could have had and everyday I'd have to work on clearing my own mind to figure out where it all went wrong. Jenks had called before we left the hospital, but I let it go to voicemail. As I started to fish for my phone, Bella called out and said Nathan was ready for bed and asking for me.

When I walked into Nathan's room I took a seat on the edge of his bed. His face appeared to be paler than normal and his body a bit more rigid then I'd expected since it appeared he was putting himself to sleep.

"Today was fun," Nathan commented.

"Yeah, it was," I agreed. "Everyone loved seeing you come home."

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Nathan inquired.

"Nothing set in stone, did you want to plan something?" I replied. I had left my schedule open as much as possible because for the first time I didn't have to live the structured life I had been so used to with working in a hospital environment.

"Maybe we can play ball again?" He still avoided eye contact with me, but I didn't put much thought into it and told him that sounded wonderful.

"How does your arm feel?" I asked and motioned towards his sling.

"Fine," he shrugged. "Am I ever going to be normal again?" Nathan's question caught me off guard, but his eyes finally met mine.

That was when I realized I wasn't having a conversation with Nathan.

_Fuck. _

_

* * *

_**~Update next week, no later than Friday**

**~Review replies are a Ch 16 Teaser, theme is "Therapy"**

**~If you haven't seen, the first outtake is now up with more to follow soon. It's of Tanya's POV of Nathan & Bella. **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6533241/1/Blind_Intentions_The_Outtakes

**~Voting is now open for The Cherry Exchange! Please vote, I wrote a one-shot called Breaking Faith that stars a Christianward & Christianella :) **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2530160/The_Cherry_Exchange

**~Voting is also open for my contest, Baby It's Cold Outside! 13 wonderful stories to choose from. **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~babyitscoldoutsidecontest

**~Weekly Rec: Dear Mr. Masen a collab between jennde & belladonna1472 (Author of Finding Home and The Cullen Campaign) It's hilarious, lite, and endearing! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6483877/1/Dear_Mr_Masen


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you all SO much for reading, reviewing, reccing, talking in the Twilighted thread, RTing on twitter...etc. I appreciate it more than you could possibly know!**

**Thanks to kas90_ for betaing & morethanmyself & devonmaid for pre-reading. **

**I own nothing. Much longer A/N at the bottom~ I encourage you to read it!**

* * *

"Nathan?" The face of my little boy just continued to stare at me with a blank expression.

"Nathan?" I tried once more, even though his facial expression remained unchanged.

I sighed before uttering the name I didn't even want to acknowledge. "Jimmy?"

My precious, innocent eight year old little boy transformed into an eerie ghost of himself before my eyes. His eyes appeared to glaze over while his normal sweet smile turned up into a sneer.

"Yes?" Jimmy responded. His voice didn't even hold a trace of the normal tone associated with Nathan. I was essentially talking to someone who had taken over my son's body and mind.

"May I speak to Nathan?" I asked. I knew I was teetering on the brink of destruction, but the doctor in me wouldn't shut up. I knew I needed to stabilize Nathan, get him to sleep, and call Dr. Banner. Even though tomorrow was a Saturday, I was sure Dr. Banner would want to see us long distance car ride be damned.

"No." Jimmy's voice was cold, distant, and direct.

"Then may I speak to you?" I pushed. Asking 'why' wouldn't get me any of the answers I wanted to hear, so I didn't bother trying.

"Isn't that what you're doing?" As Jimmy tilted Nathan's head to the side his eyes fixated on my face, and I felt like I was sitting in the middle of a live scene of _The Exorcist. _"What do you want? Nathan doesn't want to talk to..._you_."

Inside, my blood was boiling; I wanted to snap, I wanted to shake him, I wanted to pop him out of this...but I couldn't. I knew I couldn't, so instead of showing emotion, I wore the same mask I'd put on every time I had to sit a set of parents down to explain that their child wasn't going to pull through. It acted as my guard and shield when I couldn't handle my emotions and feelings. Now that I sat face to face with my son while I wore this mask, I realized I had started using it in my everyday life..._this was my denial. _

Instead of focusing on those thoughts, I put them away for later and went back to the task at hand.

_Jimmy._

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Jimmy. Why doesn't Nathan want to speak to me?" My voice was calm and even, but inside, I felt like I was dying a slow, torturous death.

"You weren't there for him. He needed you, and you weren't there... but I was. I kept him warm. I kept him awake. I kept him alive!" Jimmy screamed. I feared Bella would burst through the door at any second, and ruin what I was trying to accomplish.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," I answered with little emotion. The truth was my heart was on fire. Not just because of what Jimmy had just said, but because it was true. The old adage "the truth hurts" was a fucking understatement.

Jimmy's only response was an over-exaggerated eye roll.

"Well, you must be tired, so I'll let you get to sleep now." I moved to tuck him, in but his face grew confused. In the blink of an eye, the glaze started to retreat, and Nathan's face began to relax. I started counting in my head, and it took exactly thirty-four seconds for the physical shift to happen between Jimmy and Nathan.

When Nathan yawned, I knew the spell was broken.

"Ready for bed?" I asked again but acted happier than I was seconds ago.

"Yeah," he sighed as his eyes began to close.

"Your mom and I are just down the hall. If you need anything, you come get one of us." I gave him a kiss goodnight before leaving his room.

Bella was waiting anxiously outside.

"Why did he scream at you?" she immediately jumped on me.

I shook my head. Bella huffed but gave me a second to clear my head.

"He reverted," I stated. I then recounted minute by minute of the shift from Nathan to Jimmy and back again.

Bella started crying and walked away without a word. I pulled out my phone and called Dr. Banner. After recounting the story again, he agreed that he wanted to see Nathan first thing the next morning. We'd be meeting him at his Port Angeles office at 9 AM.

After hanging up the phone, I sought Bella out to give her the news.

"Hey," I called out to her. She was curled up on the couch reading a book. I couldn't see the title, but it looked like one of my medical textbooks from college. At first I thought it was odd but then it clicked to me what she was reading up on.

"We'll get through this," I affirmed, even though I didn't believe myself. I had wasted so much time acting as anything but the strongest member of my family that I now felt like I needed to, even though the notion terrified me.

"I was reading." Bella gestured towards the book. When I saw the cover I realized it was an old Psychology textbook that must have been mixed in as part of the books that moved to Bella's house. "I just thought if I could understand..." she sighed looking dejected.

I moved to sit next to her. I wasn't sure what I could do to offer her comfort anymore. When Nathan was born, and Bella had a miserable day, she'd let me wrap my arms around her as she cried. It wasn't much, but it was what she'd let me do at the time, so I did without complaint. There were days I'd feel so guilty leaving for school because Bella had been caring Nathan for hours as he wailed just to walk back in the door eight hours later and the scene hadn't changed. Bella would still be caring for Nathan as he just continued to scream.

"I can answer any questions you have," I offered. "Or at least try. Dr. Banner wants to see Nathan at nine tomorrow."

Bella nodded but remained silent.

"I think I'm gonna talk to someone," I hedged cautiously. "To, um, start to deal with..."

Bella's head snapped up at me, and I stopped talking.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" she asked.

"No, I just need to get my head straight." I put my head back into my heads and willed my mind not to shut down. I could feel the mask creeping back up, but I refused to let it take over. Bella deserved to have me present...the real me.

"Are you sure?" Bella asked with pleading eyes.

"Yeah, it's just...I don't even know where to start." I sighed. "I'm gonna go call my dad."

As I stood to walk away and find my phone, Bella spoke up again, "Edward, I know we've never been extremely close, but you used to be able to talk to me. I don't know what I did to make that change, but I am here to listen if you need someone to talk to." I could see the distance forming in her eyes, and it killed me to see her like this.

"You didn't," I called out to her as she turned her back towards me.

She slowly turned around with a puzzle looked.

"You didn't do anything wrong. You never did. It's me. It's always been me... then and now." Bella's face grew serious as she nodded and walked away.

Three rings on my phone later and my dad answered.

"I need a referral for a psychologist." I ignored the pleasantries and got straight to the point.

"I thought you both liked Dr. Banner, it may take..." I cut him off.

"Not for Nathan...for me," I clarified.

"Oh." Silence.

"Dad?"

"I'm here, I know someone, but he works in the hospital..." he explained.

"I don't care," I snapped.

"Edward, this could..."

"I don't care!"

"Dr. Devon, Dr. Valdemar Devon...he's the best I know in the area." My dad sighed.

"Thank you... I'll talk to you more later, I need to get to sleep." I hung up the phone feeling more frustrated than I did before.

I made my way back into the house and set the alarm to ensure the house was secured. Bella had fallen asleep on the couch, allowing me to openly stare at her without being caught.

_Had I really thought Bella to be so horrible? A liar? A gold digger? _

Opting not to disturb her I took a throw blanket and covered her up. I then walked around to each of the doors and windows to ensure they were locked properly. I glanced at the alarm system once more before creeping to Nathan's room.

He looked so innocent as he rested peacefully. He'd been asleep for a few hours without any nightmares which was a good sign, but I'd still be prepared for him to knock down my door if he needed me.

I escaped to the quiet comfort of my own room before shedding my dirty clothes in favor of a t-shirt and sleep pants. After climbing into bed I expected sleep to come easily after such a long day. My body relaxed under the warm blankets while my eyes trained on the ceiling, and I realized sleep was going to be a long time coming. My head was filled with thoughts of Nathan, the beautiful woman sleeping on a couch 500 feet away from me, my mom sitting in a jail cell, and all of the possible places Tanya was hiding. So many thoughts and emotions crept up that I couldn't remember when I eventually fell asleep. 

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

"Hi!" Nathan chirped in my ear as a few rays of sun came in through the window.

"Good morning," I yawned.

"Mom said breakfast was ready," Nathan informed me with a smile.

"Okay." I stretched my body and realized I'd slept better the night before then I had in a while. A quick glance at the clock and I saw it was just after seven. We had about an hour before we needed to leave for Dr. Banner's.

I rolled out of bed as Nathan skipped out of the room. The room surrounding me felt foreign but comfortable. It was nothing like the master bedroom in my house yet still felt welcoming. I jumped in and out of the shower quickly before throwing on jeans and a t-shirt.

The smell of pancakes and bacon hit me from the hallway reminding me that I wasn't at my house anymore. Thinking back, I couldn't remember a time when Tanya had made me breakfast. Our mornings normally consisted of me grabbing a muffin while she slept through my alarms.

"Good morning," Bella greeted me with a smile. Nathan was already seated at the table with a stack of pancakes on his plate.

I stood in the kitchen doorway in awe. Bella was flipping over the last few pieces of bacon, toast was popping up, the aroma was mouth watering, and everything was just so normal. I scratched the back of my neck in an effort to keep my thoughts from trailing to the "what ifs" of life for the millionth time.

"Help yourself, we have to leave soon," Bella instructed as she took a seat next to me after placing a plate of bacon on the center of the table.

"This looks amazing, Bella." She smiled warmly at me as I started stacking the food onto my plate.

"Nathan, we're going to see Dr. Banner this morning," Bella started to explain. He looked up and met eye contact with both of us before nodding.

Once the morning plans were revealed to Nathan, the rest of breakfast passed without any further conversation. We were all busy waking up and filling our stomachs. Such a simple time of the day that I'd taken for granted for years. I made a note to talk to Bella about setting aside one day a week to do a family breakfast when I went back to work. Speaking of work, I also made a mental note to talk to Bella about her work. I knew she was a writer, but I didn't know all of the details behind it. When she wrote, how she wrote, did she have meetings? All of this was foreign to me, and I needed to know what role I'd play in ensuring she had enough time to complete what she needed to. We had made the joint decision to keep Nathan out of school until winter break was over in January, so it would be all-Nathan all the time for the next few months, and even Supermom needed a break every once in a while. Right?

Those were my thoughts as we walked into Dr. Banner's office. There was no receptionist to greet us, but I wasn't expecting one. He was coming in as a favor to me, so when he walked out of his office to greet us, I made sure to say a special thank you for opening his office up on a Saturday.

"Nathan, would you like to see the playroom?" Dr. Banner turned to him. I was pretty sure the only word Nathan heard was play before nodding his head vigorously.

Calling Dr. Banner's room a "playroom" was a bit of an understatement. The walls were lined with toys for all ages, regardless of gender, with a circle table in the center and a few specially placed comfortable chairs around the room. Pieces of children's art were framed and hung on the green walls. Overall, the room promoted openness and relaxation.

"Do you like being home now?" Dr. Banner asked Nathan who had already gravitated towards a bin of action figures.

"I love it," he cheered. His smile could light up to the room by itself.

"What's the best part?" Dr. Banner pressed as he crouched down to Nathan's level and took a seat next to him.

Nathan looked up to where Bella and I were now seated in the opposite corner of the room. We realized that Nathan's session would be taking place in the playroom so we both wanted to stay out of the way. We both understood Nathan needed to feel comfortable if he was going to completely open up.

When Nathan looked away, I felt a little self-conscious... like I was invading on his space.

"Having my parents together," he whispered. Bella looked over at me, and I knew we had both heard him. Guilt washed over me.

_What have I done? I'd robbed my little boy of a "normal life"._

"Is that something you think about a lot?" Dr. Banner never looked up after he asked his question. He just continued to line up the action figures along with Nathan.

"Yeah, I used to get teased about it a lot," Nathan answered flippantly.

"Really?" Dr. Banner's voice held surprise, and it brought me back to the night before with the pictures.

"Yeah. Some of the kids in school used to say it was my fault they weren't married, and why aren't my parents together when everyone else's parents are." Nathan's voice sounded wary, but he never broke away from playing. I was silently waiting for Jimmy to make an appearance.

"Nathan, do you think that your mom and dad living separating is your fault?"

Pain started to throb from my wrist. I looked down to see Bella's hand wrapped around it, slowly cutting off the circulation.

"Bella," I whispered. "Breath."

She didn't even blink as she stared at Nathan who had paused. He was no longer holding onto a toy, and it looked like he was deep in though.

"I don't know." Nathan shrugged. Dr. Banner didn't say anything further, but Nathan pipped up to add, "My grandma used to say bad things about my mom. I know she thinks it was my fault."

Bella gasped, and I saw red.

I knew my family, or at least thought most of my family, didn't think highly of Bella. However, I had never allowed Nathan to hear any of their words. The second they would start talking about Bella, we left...period. To now find out my mom was trashing talking Bella in front of Nathan infuriated me.

Bella immediately looked to me with a pained expression.

"I swear to God, Bella, never with me there. Never," I tried to soothe, but I didn't know if she believed me or not. I added it as another mental note for later.

"Your grandma told you this?" Dr. Banner asked for clarification.

"Well, no... she didn't know I was listening. I didn't like hearing her talk about my mom, so I'd stop listening, but she doesn't like her." Nathan's face fell before returning to the toys. He had lined each of the action figures up and had now started pairing them to up to play.

"It's no your fault," Dr. Banner stated, and Nathan looked up. "Your mom and dad not being together, it's not your fault," he stated again.

Nathan nodded, but it was unconvincing. I knew it was something we would have to address as a family.

"So tell me about your friends," Dr. Banner prodded.

"Well, I was friends with Cory and Millie in school. They were my best friends, but I haven't seen them in awhile, so I don't know if we're friends anymore. Jimmy is my new friend."

"Tell me about Jimmy, Nathan. What is he like?" Dr. Banner's tone of voice seemed to shift, but I wasn't sure if Nathan caught it or not.

"Well, he's strong and talkative. He was there for me when I was gone... always made sure I could stay up. He helps me when I feel scared." Nathan shrugged, and I felt nauseous.

Dr. Banner and Nathan continued to play and talk for a while longer before pulling Bella and I into his office across the hall. Although the door remained open so Nathan could see us, he was so far away he couldn't hear us.

"Well," Dr. Banner sat down at his desk, "the good news is, Nathan is adjusting well. He seems to be handling Edward moving into the house well, and the stability that provides is only going to help. The bad news is, he seems to have programmed himself to believe situations he had no control over are his fault. That is fixable, but it'll take time. He needs positive reinforcement more than anything. Don't harp on the issue or constantly remind him, go off his cues." He looked up at me to ensure I knew what he meant, and I nodded. "The mixed news is, I'm not sure I feel comfortable diagnosing Nathan with Dissociative Identity Disorder yet. I have no plans to try to make Nathan revert, but you said last night was brought on by stress?" Bella and I both nodded. "I want both of you to continue to monitor the pattern and behavior. The truth boils down to once this diagnosis is made, there is no going back. There is no cure. There is no medication that will fix it, and all we can do is try to help Nathan merge the personalities to keep it from reoccurring. Because he seemed to show no signs of this disorder before his kidnapping, I'm less inclined to jump at a diagnosis. Not that it won't come to it, but I'm saying I'd like more time."

Bella looked over at me with tears in her eyes, and I nodded. I understood the situation Dr. Banner was in, and I knew diagnosing children was not easy, especially with DID.

"Now, I'd like to see Nathan back in here on Mondays and Thursdays, is that okay?"

"Yes," Bella answered and we began setting up appointments.

"Nathan," Bella called out. "Clean up time."

"You okay?" Dr. Banner asked me as I looked onto Bella and Nathan.

"Do you know a Dr. Devon?" He nodded. "I think I'm going to go talk to him."

"Good man. Good doctor," was all he said before we left.

The ride home was a bit exhausting, but I had a lot of things flowing through my mind.

Nathan was passed out by the time we parked in Bella's driveway, so I carried him in and tucked him into his bed.

When I walked into the living room, I was not surprised to see Bella waiting for me.

I sat down opposite of her and waited for her to speak.

Bella opened her mouth and shut it several times before hanging her head and crying. I took a deep breath before standing up to walk over to her. I took a seat on the couch and wrapped one arm around her back.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and Bella's hand shot out to shut me up.

"I just don't get it," she sobbed. "Why would anyone want to hurt him? What did she hope to accomplish?"

"I don't know," I whispered as I rubbed her back. Bella had been strong and calm and collected for weeks, and I could see her breaking. Not only was there a lack of support for her but she just naturally carried too much on her shoulders. I knew I needed to do something to take some of the burden off her, but I wasn't sure exactly what that would be yet.

"I can't believe Esme would..." Bella shook her head as she started to calm down.

"Me either. I never heard her speak like that around Nathan...never ever. I'd never allow her to," I reaffirmed.

"I'm sure her and Tanya had a Bella-hate fest going on while you weren't around." Bella rolled her eyes, but she was probably right. Tanya and my mom were close, it would make sense if they were together while Tanya had Nathan.

"Will he get better?" Bella point blank asked.

"I don't know, but I know I'll do whatever possible to make sure of it. Dr. Banner is a good doctor, and I agreed with what he said earlier, we can't jump to any diagnosis."

Bella nodded and I knew she was done, emotionally and physically.

"I'm going to look through some paperwork, why don't you go lay down and take a nap while Nathan is out." Bella agreed and left for her room.

Right as Bella went out of my line of sight,, my cell phone went off. I looked down to see Emmett calling. He called and asked if we could get together soon to talk. He had something he wanted to discuss with me in person, so I let him know that I'd talk to Bella about him coming over the next day. Rosalie and Bella seemed close at the hospital so maybe having her over for a while would give Bella a bit of a break to relax and just be normal for a little while.

I then pulled out the number my dad gave me and called. I knew Dr. Devon wouldn't be working on a Saturday afternoon, but, at the very least, I could leave a voicemail. I was shocked when he not only answered but that my dad had given me his personal cell phone number. Had I known that I would have waited until Monday, but he assured me it was not a problem and he would see me whenever I wanted. I half joked if that night would be too soon and was floored when Dr. Devon said he would meet me at the cafe outside the hospital at seven that evening.

When I got off the phone, I realized it was getting closer to dinner time, and I'd have to explain to Bella that I needed to go out that night. Nathan was still asleep, so I decided to invade the kitchen. Everything was neatly organized with an organized weekly menu on the refrigerator. Bella was definitely a planner, that was for sure. Tonight was suppose to be spaghetti with meatball and garlic bread.

Figuring that couldn't be too hard, I started to pull out the ingredients. After I had everything lined up on the counter, I started to think about what to do next when I heard a laugh from behind. I turned around to see a wide eyed Bella staring at me.

_"This looks oddly familiar," she chuckled before coming to my rescue. _

_"Let me help," she sighed as she took the spoon from my hand. Nathan's tiny body rested on her shoulder as he slept. _

_"I was trying to do something nice for you," I sighed back dejected. It was my night off from school and the hospital, so I planned on making Bella a special dinner. She wouldn't be happy with me ordering in, but I figured cooking was safe. _

_I had bought everything the cookbook said you needed for spaghetti, but I wasn't very good at following directions. I found myself skipping around, and it was about to go up in flames when Bella walked in. _

_"At least let me hold him." I held out my hands open as Bella placed our one month old son in them. He was so tiny and still so sleepy...that was when he wasn't screaming the majority of the day away. _

_"He really is an angel," I muttered and Bella gave a, "Mmm hmm." _

_"Thank you," I spoke, but Bella thought I meant about taking over cooking. When I clarified that I meant thank you for Nathan she just smiled at me and muttered that he was worth it. _

"I guess it does," I half laughed, half joked.

"Need some help?" she asked, and I nodded. I held up my hands in defeat, but this time she directed me on what to do versus just doing it herself. As I stirred the sauce I remembered about tonight.

"I'll be gone for a little while tonight," I announced.

Bella looked over at me with a curious expression.

"I told you I wanted to talk to someone, well, I called, and he said he'd meet with me tonight. I think my dad called to warm him." Bella nodded and we continued to cook side by side until Nathan woke up.

He had slept most of the afternoon away, so I wasn't sure how soon he'd go to sleep that night, but I made sure to say goodnight before I left the house. Nathan's face looked broken, but I continued to assure and reassure him that I would be back. Bella put on a movie and that seemed to placate him.

"Don't be late," Bella said sternly. We had decided that I would be home before nine and told Nathan as such. I had no intentions of missing that curfew.

When I arrived at the cafe I wasn't surprised to see Dr. Devon already waiting. You would have needed to be blind to miss him, but he had chosen a remote table in the back that was away from the Saturday night crowd. To the outside we looked like colleagues talking, but there was much more than that going on.

_

* * *

_

**~Now I know everyone was expecting Chapter 16 to delve into Edward's therapy and you weren't alone. I did to, but then I realized that if I wanted to do that I would need about 4-5K more words. I tried to condense and kept reading it back going, "Nope...skipped too much" or "Assumed to much". So I decided the best thing for the story would be to extend this section to include chapter 17. This is why I don't do outline...I suck at them, everything I had is now pushed back another chapter. In other words, all of Chapter 17 will be Edward in therapy...multiple sessions, spanning time, with involvement of everyone else as well. He has a lot to work through, acknowledge, understand, and fix. Nothing is quick and easy in this world. I spent 6 hours on gchat one night with one of my pre-readers as she played therapist to Edward and I'm not kidding, after 6 hours we had JUST gotten to the point where Nathan was kidnapped. So my apologies if you're disappointed, but I promise it's coming! Update again in about a week, no later than Friday! Due to the changes in this chapter I didn't even get this chapter to my beta until like 3 AM Sunday morning...so as soon as she has it back to me I'll replace. Any errors are my own! **

**~Review replies are a Ch 17 Teaser, theme is "Therapy"...and if it's any consolation I already have about 2K words written now LOL  
**

**~Blind Intentions made it to Round 2 for a total of THREE Avant Garde Awards! Yes 3...I squeed when I saw it! Best Shock Value, Best Must Read, and Saddest/Make You Cry! Please vote! And a huge thank you to everyone who voted in round 1! **http:/twilightfb-awards(dot)blogspot(dot)

**~Voting for The Cherry Exchange ends TOMORROW (Wednesday)! Please vote, I wrote a one-shot called Breaking Faith that stars a Christianward & Christianella :) **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2530160/The_Cherry_Exchange

**~Today is the last day to vote in the Baby It's Cold Outside contest! 13 wonderful stories to choose from. **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~babyitscoldoutsidecontest

**~Weekly Rec: The Betty Chronicles by Emily Bowden Um...secretive sex club...need I say more? For real...check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6007971/1/The_Betty_Chronicles


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you all SO much for reading, reviewing, reccing, talking in the Twilighted thread, RTing on twitter...etc. I appreciate it more than you could possibly know!**

**Thanks to kas90 & stupidlamb118 for betaing & morethanmyself & devonmaid for pre-reading. **

**I own nothing.**

* * *

"So, be honest, my dad called you?" I questioned the second I sat down.

"You're very smart, Edward, and yes, your father may have called." Dr. Devon was an older man who I was pretty sure I'd passed a time or two in the hallways, but we never stopped to talk. He was newer and had no wife or kids that I knew of. People raved about him, but I didn't really know him. "He was concerned about your reputation, but I assured him that if you saw me, nothing would happen to your career."

I nodded. Of course, my father thought of my career...why think of me?

"I don't really know how this works," I admitted honestly. I was slightly annoyed already, and that wasn't the best mindset to start our session feeling.

"It's simple: I ask questions, you answer. You talk, I listen, and vica versa." I nodded and he began, "So, tell me why you wanted to talk to someone."

"Two months ago I was married to someone who I thought I liked. My family wasn't perfect, but was somewhat normal. I thought I was a good enough father to my son, but I was wrong, and I'm slowly starting to realize I let my work invade my life."

"What changed?" he asked.

"Well, my son was kidnapped and almost murdered. My wife was behind his kidnapping, my mom wrote a note trying to exonerate my wife, my parents are now divorcing, and I have realized things about my son's mother that I never knew before. Oh, and I was the equivalent of a present, deadbeat dad." I laughed at the mockery which was now my life.

"Okay, let's start from the beginning, shall we?" Dr. Devon instructed.

"Okay," I answered while simultaneously taking a deep breath.

"Tell me about your childhood," he prompted.

"Well, I grew up as the baby in a family of three children. Emmett, the oldest, has always been a strong role model to me. He is bulkier than me, more outgoing, and always got along with everyone. Alice, my older sister, could pout and almost always get her way. We didn't get along well as kids, but as adults we do okay. My mom stayed home and always went above and beyond when it came to parties, functions, and stuff. My dad worked but always made time for us." I shrugged. "Honestly, if you took away the money, my life was pretty ordinary... at least I thought it was."

"Who would you say was your strongest role model growing up?" he asked.

"My mom." It didn't even take me a second to think about that answer. It just hit me, and I opened my mouth.

"And your earliest memory of your mom?" He nodded his head for me to continue.

It took me a second before I responded, "Piano lessons. I was three, maybe four, when I started. She would always sit in the far corner of the room and listen as I played. Whenever I would hit a wrong note, she'd say something... she wanted me to be perfect."

"How did that make you feel?" Dr. Devon pushed.

"At the time, I just wanted to be better. I wanted to make her proud of me; her opinion meant everything." Hearing myself talk was nausea inducing. Puzzle pieces started to click together, but I knew I needed to go in order. Jumping around in therapy wouldn't work..._right_?

"Were you always like that as a child? Wanting to make your mom proud of you?"

"For sure. Whether it was piano, or later on school, I always wanted her to smile at me and tell me I did a good job. She didn't say it often, but when she did, I held onto it. I'm starting to see a pattern," I sighed. I felt slightly dejected that I had loved a life that wasn't my own. I was over thirty years old and those were thirty plus years living for someone who wasn't me.

"Edward," Dr. Devon stated in a scolding manner. "Self-pity won't make you better. I can see your brain working, but you need to focus on the here and now. We talk about the past to learn from it, to realize things you never saw before, but never for this to turn self-loathing."

"I understand," I sighed. I knew he was right. However, saying and doing are two very different things and, like everything else, it would take time.

"Well, it's been our hour, would you like to keep talking or begin again a different day?" I appreciated him giving me the option. As long as I was out of the cafe by eight thirty I would make it home before nine with time it spare, so I told him I was free to keep going for a little while longer.

"So, you've said your mom was the pentacle of your life, where did your dad fit in?" Suddenly, I felt nervous and uneasy. He obviously knew my dad well, would he question his character because of what I said? "Edward, ignore who I know, and answer the question."

_Was this doctor a mind reader?_

"He was there for big events, school plays, piano recitals, that sort of thing. However, day to day was left to my mom. If I needed to talk to someone, my mom was my only option. I knew he was proud of me, but I just didn't put as much value in his opinion." I shook my head lightly, because I felt like the words I was trying to say weren't coming out properly.

"Is it a fair guess to say you became a doctor because your father is one?"

"No...my dad being a doctor actually made me not want to be one. My mom pushed me, she said I'd make an excellent doctor, so I just..." I silenced myself and dropped my head.

"Finish your thought," he commanded gently.

"I just did it. I never questioned, I just...fuck." As much as I wanted to smash my head into the table, I remembered our setting and didn't want to cause a scene.

"I think this is a good ending point," Dr. Devon stated while glancing at his watch. "If you'd like, I'm willing to meet with you Tuesday and Saturday evenings, here, at the same time."

I nodded.

"Now, onto your homework for Tuesday." My head snapped up. "Yes, homework. I'd like you to make a list with two columns. On one side, decisions you made to make your mom proud. On the other, decisions you've made for yourself."

I nodded, again.

"Good, now get on home. You can't be late." Dr. Devon left me sitting at the table at exactly eight thirty.

_Yup- a mind reader._

The drive home was uneventful, and I was parked, and out of the car, long before nine o'clock.

I walked in to find Nathan and Bella sitting on the couch, huddled together with a tornado of books in their wake. I smiled at the sight.

"Hey," I called, and Nathan's attention snapped to me. His face lit up like a Christmas tree, and I knew I had done well. As much as I hated leaving him, I knew it was needed.

"I told Nathan one more book before bed," Bella explained, and I nodded.

I walked over and sat next to Nathan, opposite of Bella.

After another ten minutes of reading and storytelling, Nathan was out. Bella moved to pick him up, but I asked if I could. She nodded, and I took over.

After placing Nathan safely in his bed, I checked his window to ensure the lock was still in place. I was still paranoid of Tanya. After my last talk with Charlie, I knew the case was running cold. It was as if Tanya disappeared from the world, because there was absolutely no trace of her anywhere. My grandmother hadn't bailed my mom out yet, but I figured it was just a matter of time for her to show up to. When she did, I would not turn back into her puppet.

Bella was cleaning up the books when I walked into the living room. Wordlessly, I moved to help her, and in a blink of an eye, the books were back on the shelves.

We both stood there for a second, an awkward silence surrounding us.

"How did it go?" Bella eventually asked.

"Um, good," I rushed out. "I mean, really good, it made me realize a lot. Um, we're going to keep meeting Tuesday's and Saturday's."

"That's good, therapy can be good," Bella muttered.

"Have you ever gone?" I questioned. Her comment seemed like she had, but I hadn't known of any such occurrence.

"Um, yeah, when Nathan was little; it helped." Bella shrugged, and I stood there aghast. How had I not known? "What? It was none of your business," Bella answered my unasked question.

Crap-was everyone a mind reader tonight?

"Sorry, I didn't mean..." I shut up for a second. "I just didn't know."

"I know, I didn't want you to." She shrugged.

"Why?" I realized my tone and spoke up again, "I mean, why would you care if I knew or not?"

"At the time," Bella's voice grew quiet, "I didn't trust you not to hold it against me...in like, court or something."

If I was shocked before, nothing compared to this. I just stood, cold in my place.

_Would Bella really think that I would take Nathan from her?_

"I would never..." I began, but she put her hand up.

"You didn't see things like I did." She shook her head. "Anyways, I saw someone to deal with some unresolved issues from my mom abandoning me. It helped, and I stopped seeing her, no big deal."

"Bella..." I began.

"Edward, is there going to be an 'I'm sorry' or any other variation of that sentiment in your next statement?"

I nodded.

"Then, I don't wanna hear it. I know you're sorry... let your actions speak for you. So far, so good." She smiled before retreating to her room.

"But, Bella..." I kept talking. I don't know why my filter wasn't turning off, but it wasn't, "why would you think that?"

"Edward..." Bella's voice turned hard and I knew I was pushing her. It didn't stop me though.

"Look, Dr. Devon just told me we have to go over the past to see what we missed before. Obviously I missed something that would cause you to feel that way. I need to know what that was," I pleaded and I watched Bella's face momentarily soften.

"You took me to court," she eventually ground out.

"I didn't." I shook my head back and forth.

"Fine, Esme took me to court, but you still signed the form," she accused.

_"Mom, what is this?" I yelled as soon as I spotted the signed affidavit accusing Bella of drug use, during and after her pregnancy, and drinking binges. When I spotted my signature with a notary stamp I flipped. "What the fuck? I didn't sign this."_

_"Oh honey, it's just a formality that I didn't want to pull you out of class to handle. So, I wrote it up, and signed it for you."_

_I stared slack jawed and stormed off with the forms in hand. Everyone was due in court in two hours and I had only gone to see my mother to try to change her mind. I had no idea she was filing on my behalf until I saw everything. Bella had closed down to me, only allowing me the minimal of time with Nathan and I didn't understand why. Now I did._

_I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Bella's number. She answered on the second ring, but her voice was cold._

_"I'm getting this dropped. I'm so sorry my mom is doing this, but I swear I'm not behind this. I just saw the papers and I'm going to the court house now. God, I'm sorry," I rattled off as I weaved in and out of traffic._

I didn't hear Bella give a reply before hanging up on me.

"So what really happened then?" Bella's voice was growing more distant.

"I raced in and yelled at anyone I had to until I got to the Judge's chambers. I explained the situation and he thanked me for my time and honesty; that's when everything was dropped. I didn't know until later the only reason why the charges I put against my mom didn't stick were because she bought her way out of them," I explained and Bella just nodded.

"So you really never wanted to take Nathan away from me?" her voice sounded small.

"God no, you're his mother! I would have never done that, Bella. Why do you think I volunteered to stay on your couch and moved in like four doors down from you? He needed you. Sure I was important, but you...God Bella, you're were...are irreplaceable." I had hoped Bella would see the sincerity behind my words, but I wasn't sure. "Bella, I told you all of this when it happened, when we sat down to talk about it. Did you not believe me?"

"No, not really," she didn't even pause. "I honestly though you were just covering your ass."

"I wasn't, I had no idea she had done that." I placed my hand on top of hers and to my surprise she didn't pull away.

"Thank you for telling me." Bella's voice remained low. She took to leave, but stopped for a second. "Edward, what I don't understand is, you obviously saw your mom could be...evil. Why did you keep taking her side?"

"I put too much faith in her opinion of me," I started. "Growing up, she always pushed me to be perfect. With like, everything...piano, school, manners, how I dressed..." I sighed. "Everything. At the time I didn't realize exactly how much of my self worth was built off of her opinion, but I'm starting to see I was living more for her than I was for me."

Bella looked thoughtful for a second before sitting back down.

"Go on," she gently pushed.

"At the time I knew how wrong she was and I even filed with the court, but I saw how far that got me. It took a few months before I started talking to her again. We weren't talking all that much, so I doubt you noticed, but I stopped answering her calls. I just didn't want to deal with her, and then the holidays came and at the urging of Alice I called and it was like I was sucked back into that world again."

"I remember that." Bella nodded her head in that direction. "For a while I thought you were finally seeing the light, becoming more of you...you even seemed happier, until Christmas. Then you went back to who I knew before," she shrugged, but I could see the pain behind her eyes.

I started wondering how many times Bella had gotten her hopes up that I had changed, just to have them crushed a few days later.

"Look Edward, honestly, I've never thought of you as a bad guy. You made poor choices and got your priorities wrong, but you know that now and it's showing. Nathan is happier everyday for it and it's nice to have someone to talk to...to juggle all of this." She waved her hands all around indicating the life we now lived in.

"This may be hard to believe, but I think of your house as the closest to a home I've been in since I lived with my parents. I like it here...I like always being there for Nathan, and for you when you need me," I replied honestly. "I know I'm still a little slow at times, but I promise not to attempt cooking again without your direction."

Bella laughed...a real laugh. The kind of laugh that makes your cheeks hurt because you laughed so hard. Something I hadn't heard from her in years.

We exchanged 'good nights' before I went off to secure the house. When I laid down to sleep that night I wasn't expecting to feel a hollowness in my heart, but it was undeniable. I knew it would be difficult not to think about where I would be or what I would have if I had stood up for myself sooner, but Bella just seemed so...perfect. 

* * *

The next morning I woke up early to find Nathan in my bed again, telling me breakfast was ready. The morning moved much like the previous day with breakfast at the kitchen table.

Nathan seemed to keep himself occupied with his toys, book, or whatever interested him at the present time. His leg was still weak so he didn't stand too long, and I noticed him trying to use his arm more than he should. When he grew tired, shortly before noon, Bella suggested a nap and he agreed. As he made his way to his room, it occurred to me that each time he played independently he was never alone. I moved, he moved. Bella moved, he moved. He would sit on the couch with a book, but only if someone was with him. Yet, in his room, he didn't require an extra body.

_Jimmy._

If Nathan thought Jimmy was in his room too, it would make sense. Which meant Jimmy was only there when we weren't. As I started putting more pieces together, I realized that all signs were pointing towards an extreme imaginary friend versus an actual diagnosis of DID. That was good, but I'd need to continue to monitor it.

I flipped a page in the notebook I was writing in to jot down a few notes for Dr. Banner. When I flipped the sheet back, I felt like it was staring at me...mocking me.

I was doing my homework for Dr. Devon, but the list in which I had to fight out the decisions I made solely by myself wasn't very long. I also feared for the forest that would need to be cut down for me to write a full list of decisions my mom played a part in. For that side, I stuck with just major decisions.

When Bella came in asking about lunch, it reminded me of Emmett's phone call from the day before.

"Crap, I forgot, yesterday Emmett said he wanted to come over for a bit," I rushed out. "He said he had something to talk to me about in person. I didn't want to assume, so I thought I'd ask."

Bella sighed. She was irritated.

"Edward, where do you live?" she asked, completely changing the subject.

"Um, here?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Then why are you asking permission? Can't you decide if you want to see someone or not?" she sighed. It wasn't a passive sigh though, it was a sigh of frustration.

"I didn't want to assume..." I started, but she just shook her head.

"Edward, make your own decisions. As long as it's not...them, I don't care who you have over." Bella just stared at me until I nodded. She then stepped into the kitchen.

I pulled out my phone and relayed the message. Emmett and Rosalie were at the door in thirty minutes. Rosalie greeted me with a smile before she left to search for Bella. Confused by Rosalie's warm welcoming, I showed Emmett to the living room.

After taking a seat on the couch, I waited for him to start talking, but he looked so nervous.

"Just spit it out," I pushed. After Bella's minor snap at me, my patience was waring thin, and Nathan would be up soon.

"What would you think of Rosalie and I buying a house..." he shifted like he was uncomfortable, "in Forks?"

My eyes widened for a second as I took in his words. Emmett in Forks? Rosalie and Emmett were known for their world travels, never staying in any one place for too long, and working from the road. Why would they want a house? Here?

"Um, I don't see the problem, but why?" My intent was not to act like I didn't want Emmett to be more local, I did. I appreciated them setting up camp at my parent's house while we needed their support, but I assumed once everything normalized, they'd just leave again until the next holiday get-together.

Emmett's nerve dissipated from his features, and his mouth turned up into a smile.

"Rosalie is pregnant," he announced happily.

To say I was shocked was a mild understatement. Last I knew, Rosalie couldn't have children, or so they thought.

"That's wow...that's awesome, really great, I'm happy for you," I stumbled through my words.

"I'm so glad you think so, we were actually coming home to tell everyone when everything happened, and Rosalie wasn't sure how much longer she could hide it...like physically," Emmett rattled off.

_Since Nathan's kidnapping that would mean..._

"Yeah I know, she's already twenty-four weeks and just now starting to really show. We were waiting until a safer time to tell people, anyways, after all of our losses." His face grew serious. "But it's really happening now, it's a boy. We haven't decided on a name yet.

"Anyways, we need to settle down somewhere and fast. Forks seems like a good town, even if it's not for the rest of our lives; plus, it's close to everyone. We found a house and put in an offer, just waiting for it to be accepted."

I nodded. Emmett's phone rang, and he said it was the realtor so he stepped outside.

Emmett- a father. I never thought I'd see the day, but I was genuinely happy for him.

Realizing I was thirsty, I headed for the kitchen. I could fear Rosalie and Bella's voices, and it kept me from entering. Like a stalker I listened, yet again.

_"That is really wonderful, Rose," Bella reassured her. "If you want me to help plan a shower, it'll keep it out of Alice's hands." _

_"Oh, thank God, I don't think I couldn't handle her planning the whole thing," Rosalie sounded relieved. _

_"You look upset," Rosalie noted. "Oh God, did we come at a bad time, are you two fighting already?"_

_"What? No...no, nothing like that. I just miss it sometimes." Bella's voice grew quiet and for a minute no one spoke. _

_"Did you always want more than one?" Rosalie finally asked. _

_"Yeah, I always envisioned three or four, maybe even five." Bella laughed and I had no idea what they were talking about. "It just wasn't in the cards for me, I have Nathan so I should be thankful for him. Not everyone is lucky enough to have one, and I'm complaining to you...God, I'm sorry." _

_"Don't be," Rosalie reassured. "Several years ago, I would have bitten your head off, but I get it. However, you don't have to be single for life, there are other men out there."_

_"I know that," Bella replied. "But between writing, Nathan, and living in Forks, I haven't met anyone who makes me want to make the time or even try. I don't want to be my mom."_

_"Not that again," Rosalie whined. _

_"What, it's true! I swear sometimes I think you and Alice are just waiting for the day where I tell everyone I've been waiting nine years for Edward to love me." I heard a scoff noise. "The truth is, I haven't. I wouldn't wait around for him, and I'm single by choice. Leave it be."_

_"If you say so." Rosalie then grew quiet. "Look, okay, I'm going to say this, and then I'm done, I swear. I understand why you'd want nothing to do with him, hell, I'm not even sure he deserves your friendship. But I know a part of him died when he realized, truly realized, the father he turned into. I know Edward enough to know he will fight tooth and nail to fix and build their relationship to the strongest it can be. And, when Edward turns his sights on you? Well, I love you Bella, but you don't stand a chance. He'll sweep you off your feet before you even realizing it. And when he does, I'll be toasting to you finally getting laid!"_

_Bella shrieked, and Rosalie laughed. _

"Daddy?" Nathan's voice caused me to jump.

I turned around to see my wide eyed boy staring right at me.

"Yes, Nathan," I whispered.

"It's not nice to eavesdrop," he lightly scolded before walking into the kitchen.

Emmett walked back into the house a few seconds later with a smile plastered to his face.

They had gotten the house. 

* * *

Life seemed to speed up after that afternoon.

Every Monday and Thursday morning, we'd religiously bring Nathan to Dr. Banner's office.

From his sessions, we were able to learn that Tanya truly hadn't been abusive to Nathan. When Dr. Banner asked about what he thought of her, he shrugged.

Bella had no idea that I knew she was constantly picking him up early, but I did. She was slightly irritated at me when that revelation came out.

"So what," Bella threw her hands up, "you just gave up on him?"

"No...fuck, it's just, I got to this point, and I just...fuck, I'm sorry, I don't know." I was so frustrated with this talk and with myself, I just wanted to run.

"Not good enough, Edward," Bella snapped. "If you can't figure out why, you can't stop it from happening again."

"Look, I just got to this point where if he wasn't with me then I knew you'd take care of him. I used Nathan as an escape from Tanya." Bella gasped, and I wasn't sure if it was from my revelation or the use of Tanya's name.

A few weeks into therapy, we started sitting down every night to talk, rarely did it get heated, but tonight was an exception.

"What do you mean an escape?" Bella's voice turned eerily calm.

"I wasn't happy," I stated.

"Bullshit," she called, and I knew I had a lot of explaining to do. That night in therapy, Dr. Devon and I had talked about Tanya, my initial attraction and when things began to all apart. That was when I realized, the same time I had begun pushing Nathan away lined up to the time Tanya started inviting herself out with us. I used to take him for ice cream and then she wanted to come. Or to the park. She wanted to be there, but I didn't want her there, so instead of just saying no, I pushed Nathan and Tanya back at the same time.

"Look, I'm a good actor?" I shrugged. "I thought I loved her, I really did. I really wanted to. I've realized by talking to Dr. Devon that I put way too much value in my mom's opinion. It wasn't right, and I'm not using it as an excuse, but it is what it is. By doing that, the second my mom accepted her, I was done. I was having second thoughts for months before the wedding, but I brushed them off as nerves. I even considered walking out on my wedding day, but then I felt guilty, so I went with it. We didn't live with each other before, and I just couldn't handle her around me all the time, so I'd do extra things with Nathan. Then when she started inviting herself along, I pushed away.

"It wasn't right, and I'll forever feel guilty, but it's what I did and why. I'm not proud of it, but it's something I won't let happen again. I'm going to therapy to figure out how my life got this way...not to excuse it, but to make sure it never happens again. So I'm sorry you don't like my answer, or agree with it, but it's all I have to give." I finished my rambled and looked up at Bella.

She appeared thoughtful but didn't speak. We sat there for several minutes before she finally opened her mouth.

"So everything was about your mom?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, it's what I'm starting to see. One of the first thangs he had me do was make a list. Decisions I made with her influence and without. The list of without was...God, so short, I had two things. Two things to like a million I did because of her or with her in mind."

Bella nodded.

"If that's the case then I never stood a chance, did I?" Her question caught me off guard and my eyes snapped to hers. Her face was emotionless, but her eyes...God, her eyes gave it all away. The hurt, the frustration, the not understanding.

"No."

Bella nodded again before leaving the room for her own. 

* * *

"And do you still think this was a wise move?" Dr. Devon asked at our next therapy session. I had been seeing him for over a month now, but we'd be missing our next session because of Thanksgiving.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I mean, I think it was. I need to be honest with her, right?"

"You do, yes. How did she react to the news that she never stood a chance with you?" he pushed for an answer.

"She just sat there. Her eyes started to water, and she just looked so... I don't know, rejected, maybe?" I was grasping for answers. our talk had happened a few weeks ago, but I hadn't really brought it up in therapy before, and Bella and I hadn't talked about that night again.

"Edward, did it ever occur to you that maybe Bella has been shouldering some of the blame for your failed relationship? Remind me again, what did you do once your family blew up?"

I sighed, he had made me say this at almost every session, and it felt like a punishment. Out of everything, this was my worst offense to Bella so far. "We left my parents house because Bella didn't feel comfortable staying for the night. I rented a hotel, checked her in, left her and went back to talk to my family. I listened to my mom go on and on about her lack of character and morals, and I believed it. When my mom suggested it was a planned set up I freaked and started questioning everything. I got angry with Bella and didn't go back to the hotel until the following afternoon, even after ignoring her attempts to call me. When I showed back up at the hotel, Bella looked like a wreck, and I treated her with disdain."

"And it never occurred to you that Bella would question herself?" Dr. Devon continued to push.

"No, I mean, at the time I was an idiot listening to someone I shouldn't have. When I realized I was wrong, it was too late," I informed him.

"Edward, when did you realize Bella wasn't the gold digging whore your mother claimed her to be?" he went on to ask.

"When she broke up with me," I answered without a moment's hesitation.

"Why?" he grilled.

"I could just tell...she just looked so defeated, almost like I had broken her. When I tried to talk to her about it later, she wouldn't even give me the chance. She just reminded me that we were going to be parents, so we needed to get along and hash out the details. So I dropped it."

"Okay, Edward, let's say Bella gave you a second chance. What would have happened when your mom found out?" he asked and I shrugged. "Don't play dumb, what would you have done?"

"I would like to think I would have stood up for myself," I answered truthfully.

"Do you think Bella had any reason to believe that?" he asked another question and the light bulb went off.

When my head landed on the table, I knew we were done for the night. I swear this was becoming a nightly occurrence with him.

"What's my homework?" I asked as he stood to leave.

"Enjoy Thanksgiving, I'll see you next week." Dr. Devon tipped his hat and left. 

* * *

Thanksgiving came and went.

My dad, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie all squeezed into Bella's house to celebrate with a turkey and enough side dishes to feed Ethiopia.

Apparently everyone, me included, felt it was important that Nathan have every type of food imaginable. Now that his sling and leg brace were both gone, he spent most of the time jumping around or play tackling with Emmett. I would catch Bella smiling as she stared at him. Her face looked almost wistful, but she was always quick to wipe any trace off her face in seconds. I only noticed because, well...I had been noticing her a lot more lately.

We were talking more, which was a good thing, but it was also hard because I had to own a lot of what I had done to her. I was able to get her to admit that she felt responsible for not giving Nathan the best life she could, but like Dr. Devon had said, she saw no reason why I would stand up to my mom, so she shut herself down. I admitted to her a lie that I had told her and then I sat in the living room while she cried for five minutes.

_"Oh my God, you're okay." Bella rushed over, and by all appearances, hadn't slept a wink. I had thought for sure she would have slept while I was gone, but both beds were completely made, and her suitcase wasn't even unpacked. "I thought something had happened to you." She hugged me._

_"Yeah, sorry, I stayed up late talking to my mom and then sorta passed out," I brushed her off. _

_"Oh," Bella sounded rejected. "How did it go?"_

_"Not good, really," I answered honestly. "My mom thinks your after our last name and money." _

_Bella stopped cold. _

_"I would never..."_

_"I know," I answered, but I didn't believe myself. _

_Realizing Bella hadn't eaten, we left to find food and flew out that night. _

That afternoon I had failed to mention that my mother thought Bella had planned the entire thing. At the time, it semi made sense to me, but now I was just an idiot. Back then, it was weird that neither one of us remembered much after drinking our drinks, how we wound up in her dorm, on a day she was ovulating, and then every interest I had, she also shared. We loved the same books, the same movies, the same music, and so forth. What raised suspicions then, now made me look at Bella like I had missed out on someone who could have been my true soul mate.

Bella sat stoically through my confession. She didn't even blink. When I was done talking, she walked away. I continued to sit in the chair for five minutes before she came back.

"Edward, I'm an adult, so I won't ignore you. However, right now, I can't look at you." She walked away with tears in her eyes. On one hand, I was happy to have the truth out there. I wanted Bella to know that none of this was her fault, but on the other hand, I had hurt her. I didn't like that feeling. 

* * *

"When Nathan was around, Bella acted fine," I explained. "But the second he left, she turned into the second Antarctica."

"Did you expect differently?" Dr. Devon asked.

"No, not really," I replied. "I know I hurt her, but I just wish I could erase all of the hurt. She didn't deserve this, she did nothing wrong."

"Does she know this?" he wondered out loud.

"God, I hope so," I answered.

"Okay, now back to where we were, when did money become an issue with Bella?"

"After the trip to see my parents. Up until that point, whenever we went out she let me pay. We were dating, so I didn't think anything of it. A few days after we got back, though, she shoved an envelope full of money under my door. It was enough to cover every coffee, every dinner, even the plane ticket and hotel," I rattled off. "After that, she let me pay for nothing."

"So then you broke up, correct?" I nodded. "How about money once Nathan was born?"

"Oh God, how much time do we have?" I laughed. "I rented an apartment in Bella's apartment complex. She couldn't keep her dorm because of Nathan, so she found a small studio off campus. We had planned that I would take him when I could, just for a little while, and she'd pump. Well that failed when Nathan didn't take a bottle, so I lived on her couch. He was only a few weeks old when I wanted to make her something to eat. I opened her entire kitchen up, and she had almost nothing. Some bread, peanut butter, water, maybe a few other things, but nothing a new mom...hell a breastfeeding mom, should be eating. So I ordered Chinese and just assumed Bella hadn't gone grocery shopping.

She came out of the shower dressed and as refreshed as she could be, and I told her about the food, and her face dropped. She went to her wallet and pulled out the last ten dollar bill she had, and God, the look on her face. I tried to refuse, but she wouldn't let me, so I fought her.

It took the reminder that her lack of food could effect her breast milk supply to get her to cave, but the prospect of buying formula terrified her. So she told me I could buy groceries, but she didn't want actual money.

I made sure his diapers were stacked, wipes were filled, and so forth, along with her kitchen. I think my first trip to the grocery storey I spent a little over $500 just buying everything I could think of, in case she changed her mind later.

A few weeks later, I started writing her a check for one-thousand dollars a month. I asked my dad for more control over my trust fund, and he gave it to me. It took Bella six months to cash them, but then she did, and we never really fought over money again." I was out of breath by the time I stopped talking.

"How did Bella react when you bought things for Nathan?"

I rolled my eyes at the memories. "I would have to pretend to lose receipts just to get her to keep things I purchased, whether it was diapers, wipes, clothes, toys or what have you. She didn't want to accept it, or just told me to keep it at my place."

"How did you decide what to buy?" Dr. Devon asked, and I was momentarily confused.

"I would call my..." I stopped. "Fuck."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe Bella had an opinion, and you never took the time to ask?"

This was my head to table moment.

"Edward, instead of calling your mom, you should have called Bella. You need to realize this for the future. Instead of bullying or lying to get your way, just be honest with her." I nodded my head into the table. "Which reminds me, how are you doing on admitting your past lies to her?"

"One out of three so far," I replied as I sat back up. "I'm going to talk to her about the gifts tonight."

He nodded.

"Speaking of your mom, what's the latest word?" he asked as he began to gather his belongings up.

"Well, she's out. Her mom bailed her out a few weeks ago according to Charlie, but she's made no move to contact me or anyone else outside of my dad. And she's only calling him to fight him over the divorce." I shrugged. "And before you ask, Tanya is still a cold case."

"Your homework is to listen to Bella's words before making decisions for her," he instructed before leaving me at the table. Eight thirty, on the dot, just like always.

The cold, crisp air hit me as I exited the cafe. A white clean layer of snow lined the area, and I realized I needed to get home before it got much worse.

_Home._

It was so much easier to think of Bella's house as my home now.

Nathan was recovering quickly, and only a few short weeks after Christmas he'd be back in school.

His therapy had been going remarkably well with absolutely no reverting. He would talk about Jimmy as a person, versus letting him speak for him. We still saw Dr. Banner twice a week, but it was more focused on his nightmares then a personality disorder.

"Nathan passed out five minute ago," Bella informed me when I came into the living room. "How did it go?"

"I think if I told you I'm sorry a million times, it still wouldn't be enough," I joked.

"Stop being sorry, I'm over it. It's time for you to move past it too." She smiled before returning to her book.

"When Nathan was little," I started talking before I put a filter on, "and I would buy him gifts, I'd lose receipts on purpose so you had to accept them."

While I stilled myself for her response. I was revealing a lie.

What I hadn't counted on was Bella laughing at me. Not just a giggle, full on laughing at me.

"I wasn't that unobservant, and you weren't that great at being sneaky, I knew." She shrugged, and I felt relieved. "God, you'd always forget and then swipe the receipt the second you thought I wasn't looking. I just liked to see you squirm, and I knew I couldn't get you to stop spending money."

"Oh," I said before sitting down. "Bella, why was money such a big deal?"

Bella looked thoughtful for a minute.

"Well, I didn't want you to spend money on me because I knew I couldn't always repay you," she started. "And with Nathan, well, I didn't want him to grow up ungrateful. I knew your background, and I knew you wanted for nothing your whole life, and although I appreciate the stability for him, I wanted him to have a sense of pride in his things. I mean, Edward, did Nathan really need an exersaucer, a jumperoo, a bounce and spin, a swing, a bouncer, a rocking chair..."

"Okay, I get the point." I held my hands up. Bella was right, I wanted the best.

"Did he need that stuff? No, all he needed was us to lay down a blanket, get on the floor, and play with him. All he ever wanted was attention, Edward."

"I'm a fool," I muttered as I placed my head in my hands.

"No, not a fool. You just lost sight of what matters, now what are you thinking about as far as Christmas gifts go?" She eyed me, and really, I hadn't thought about it.

"Um, tickets to a Mariner's game at the start of the season," I half-joked. I did want to take Nathan to a baseball game.

He wasn't able to finish out the season, but we'd started playing in the backyard when the weather permitted. Emmett would even come over at times to help while Rosalie and Bella talked. Alice was scarce until Thanksgiving, but I have noticed her popping in more and more.

"He'd like that," Bella replied honestly, and I was shocked.

"He needs clothes, some new ones for school, and he's really into the lego kits where you build a certain thing. He's very hands on," she commented, and I nodded.

"That sounds reasonable," I agreed.

"Alice has been on me about throwing a party," Bella admitted a second later.

"I'll stop her," I answered. Bella looked skeptical, but I assured her I would.

"Bella, what are your thought on going Christmas shopping...together?" I asked.

Dr. Banner, and even Dr. Devon, had been hinting around the fact that Nathan seemed ready to let go of us for a short period of time, but we weren't ready to let go of him. I wasn't suggesting we leave him for a whole day, but maybe a few hours while we headed into Port Angeles and went shopping.

"I don't...I mean..." Bella started but stopped.

"What about letting him go fishing with your dad," I suggested. "He's been asking, and your dad would love that."

It took a lot of work to keep my composure considering I hated my own plan.

"What if something happened to him?" she immediately jumped.

"You really think your dad would let anything happen to him?" I asked skeptically.

"Well no, but..." she sighed.

"But what, Bella?" I pushed gently. I was taking Dr. Devon's advice and listening instead of forcing my will on her.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"I am too..."

"But it's your idea," she pushed back.

"I know that, but he's going to start school back in a month, we need at least a practice run or something. I just think we should try, he needs out of this house, and we both trust your dad."

"You're right." She nodded.

"We won't be gone too long, a few hours at best, and we can get all our shopping done." I smiled as genuinely as I could, but she just nodded at me.

I knew we would eventually have to allow someone else to take charge of Nathan, I just didn't expect it to be so hard...

* * *

**~So Edward has confessed 1 out of the 3 lies he's told to Bella in the past. Any guesses on the final 2? I will update sometime after Christmas, it will probably be later in the week that normal, possibly after Friday. New Years Day (Jan 1st) is my birthday so don't hold me accountable! However, 2 outtakes will be posting in this time frame. The Non One-Night Stand and The break-Up are the titles :)  
**

**~Review replies are a Ch 18 Teaser, theme is "Christmas"  
**

**~Blind Intentions made it to Round 2 for a total of THREE Avant Garde Awards! Yes 3...I squeed when I saw it! Best Shock Value, Best Must Read, and Saddest/Make You Cry! Please vote! And a huge thank you to everyone who voted in round 1! **http:/twilightfb-awards(dot)blogspot(dot)

**~Lovely readers of BI I NEED YOUR HELP! My pre-reader (morethanmyself) and I are going to be hosting a contest early next year called, Pick Your Own Adventure. Each author will pick one word from five different lists and write a story using those words...well, we need your helping picking words! Please head over to the gdoc link and fill it out, you can do it once, twice, three, a million...doesn't matter! But I'd really appreciate it! **http:/bit(dot)ly/hlrdL6

**~Weekly Rec: The Plan by **QuantumFizzx** Um seriously, if you're not reading this, the only thing I have to say is you must be living under a rock. She updates in real time and it's due to be done by the end of the year! Most chapters are under 500 words so don't let the chapter count scare you! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6550419/1/The_Plan


	18. Chapter 18 Part I

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**Okay, so it's not the New Year, yet...but when it is, well you have my sentiment! I'm looking forward to 2011 for lots of different reasons...writing and completing Blind Intentions is one of them! I swore when I started I'd never be an author who pulled mid-story or told you you'd have to buy the ending...this is fun for me, therapy if you will, and I stand by that promise! I review reply to every review, whether I have 1 review in my inbox or 100- I absolutely love all of you! Hearing your thoughts, opinions, theories...etc., makea me smile! So thank you, from the bottom of my heart for reading and enjoying! Gah...was that sappy enough? I write angst, but I'm a total sap!**

**Thank you to kas90_, stupidlamb118, morethanmyself & devonmaid for making this chapter what it is :)  
**

**I don't own Twilight, because if I did, well, Jacob would have been a dog, not a wolf! **

**Chapter 18: Part I**

**

* * *

**

After talking with Bella, we both decided it would be in Nathan's best interest if he spent some time away from us for a day. Of course, that didn't stop Bella from talking to Dr. Banner about it first. Dr. Banner suggested we set up times and stick to them to help Nathan, but mainly for us. When we told Nathan, he was excited and couldn't wait for their fishing trip to start.

Jimmy still hadn't made any reappearances, but that didn't mean Nathan was cured. Quite the opposite, actually, it could also mean he'd been holding too much back. His sessions were still going extremely well, and more often than not, Nathan left with a smile on his face. We were still piecing together the puzzle of everything that happened while Nathan was away, but it was a waiting game. Normally, his clues would be a few words here and there, or a phrase or two, he never sat down and just talked about his time away. Dr. Banner was never invasive in his technique, but it was obvious to me that it took a lot of circle talking for Nathan to open himself up. When Nathan did open up, he would appear distant. Not Jimmy-like, but closed off.

In his last session, though, Nathan threw all of us, Dr. Banner included, for a bigger loop. Bella and I sat behind a two way mirror, we could monitor Nathan this way while giving him the illusion of privacy. Everything appeared to be going fine as he played with the assortment of toys Dr. Banner's playroom offered, while Bella and I continued to talk logistics of the fishing trip. It was set to happen at the end of the week, and Charlie told Bella he had invited Jacob Black along.

I knew I owed Jacob a debt far higher than I would ever be able to pay, but I still felt uneasy that he was so obviously enamored with Bella. Granted, it was hard not to be, and I knew I didn't have any right or claim to her, but it didn't stop me from wanting one. Everyday, I learned more and more about Bella, and everyday, I realized she was now the most important woman in my life.

As we continued to talk, Bella was the first to notice Nathan grow quiet. This wasn't completely unusual in his sessions, but instead of his face showing that he was simply engrossed in the object he was playing with, he looked pensive.

"What is a will?" Nathan asked Dr. Banner without raising his head.

Dr. Banner looked perplexed for a second, before deciding his answer.

"Well, that depends on the context it's being used. A will can represent a document people fill out while they're alive to explain how they want things to happen after they pass. Or, it can also be used to describe someone's will to live. When someone gives up hope, it means they've given up the will to fight...to live," Dr. Banner replied, all the while eyeing Nathan closely. My doctor mode snapped on in my brain as I began watching Nathan's face. Both of us were looking for clues as to where this question had come from. "Why do you ask?" Dr. Banner pushed.

"Um, well...Tanya, she kept talking about a will. I didn't, um, know what she meant, but she kept saying the will would get in her way." Nathan shrugged his shoulders, but I was recognizing the signs of distress on his face. They were subtle, but present. I knew Dr. Banner would start trailing very lightly, because Nathan had not mentioned Tanya, by name, since we started coming to his Port Angeles office. If he referred to her, it was always her or she, never Tanya.

"When do you remember her saying this?" Dr. Banner began messing around with a group of puzzles near their sitting area. I assumed it was a technique to lighten the mood, so Nathan wouldn't feel like he was being stared down as he talked.

"A few weeks before...um, before I was taken. She, ah, said it on the phone, but then she saw me, and then she hung up. I didn't hear her say it again, but I remembered last night when I was watching TV. I just didn't know what a will was, so it didn't make sense to me." Nathan's face continued to grow more serious, and every instinct in me told me to run and protect.

The mood slowly shifted back to normal, and their time was up. Nathan never said a word to us about their conversation, and Bella and I knew we couldn't ask. Dr. Banner relayed that he wasn't sure exactly what to make of his new question, but that he would continue to try and make sense of it. Bella had given me a look that relayed she had questions, but didn't say anything until much later.

"Edward," Bella called out after she put Nathan to bed. I was sitting on the couch looking over a file my dad had asked me read. I wasn't officially working, but it was a six year old little boy with too many things going wrong. No one had a proper diagnosis, and even after being sent to specialists all over the States, they were all coming up empty. He asked if I looked, over it, just to see if anything stood out to me, and I said I would. I shifted the papers away from me and looked up to the area Bella had addressed me from. She looks very nervous, and that scared me for a second. I'd wondered if Nathan had said more after I walked out of his room. "What exactly does your will say?"

That wasn't the question I was expecting to hear, so I sat and thought for a minute. I hadn't redone my will since right after I gotten married, and I hadn't thought about it in a while.

"Um, well, everything was pretty much cut down the middle between Tanya and Nathan." I sat back into the couch and continued to think about the details I'd written. "If anything happened to me before Nathan turned eighteen, his share of things would have been passed to you, while Tanya would have received half of everything else. Why?"

"You don't think, what I mean is...do you think she went after Nathan because of your will?" Bella's question was a valid concern.

"I don't know. Honestly, unless she planned on eliminating all of us, she wouldn't have stood to gain all of it. I specifically wrote in there, if Nathan wasn't alive to collect his half, it would have gone to you."

Bella gasped and through her hand over her mouth. "Me? Why would you leave anything to me?"

"Um, because I wanted to make sure you were taken care of...if I wasn't around." I shrugged my shoulders, but indifference was the last emotion I felt.

"Did she know that?" Bella voice was small.

"I don't remember ever discussing my will with her. My lawyer drew up new papers up once I was married, but it didn't change much, just added another person. You just reminded me I need to have new papers drawn up." As I talked I pulled out my phone and quickly texted my lawyer a message. Jenks was still working on my divorce case, and it appeared I would have an out sooner rather than later. Adding a new will wouldn't be too much more paperwork.

"You didn't ever talk about it? I mean, I don't have much experience, but I thought you talked about that, um, sorta thing once you got married." Bella's thoughts and feelings weren't off base for the average couple, but looking back, I realized my relationship with Tanya wasn't normal. I pretended to be happy, even fooled myself into believing I loved her, but it was all a lie.

"I don't know how much you want to know," I admitted honestly.

"I always told you I was here to listen, I'll listen to whatever you want to share." Bella moved to the seat opposite of me and sat down. She curled her feet under herself and looked up at me expectantly.

"Well, through seeing Dr. Devon, I've realized that I wasn't always honest with myself about my feelings. Looking back, I thought I was happy enough, but I really wasn't. When my mom immediately accepted Tanya, I thought that was what was suppose to happen, and I started ignoring things that had been annoying me. When I look back now, I realize that I wasn't as happy as I thought I was," I explained. Bella only nodded and never interrupted. "When I started to realize my real feelings, it was too late, we were already married. Emmett even tried talking me out of walking down the aisle just fifteen minutes before the ceremony started, and even though I had doubts, I felt like I had a responsibility to uphold. I should have called it all off, but I didn't, and I'm paying for it now."

"Can I ask a question?" Bella asked after we grew silent for a minute.

"Sure." I smiled. She could ask me anything she wanted to as far as I was concerned.

"Why didn't you have anymore children? That was what you wanted, at least, I thought it was."

"That's difficult to answer," I admitted truthfully. "Tanya wanted to try, but I didn't. Whenever I would try and envision her pregnant, I just...I didn't...I couldn't..." I sighed and gave up trying to explained.

"I see," Bella replied thoughtfully. "Is all goes back to Esme, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid it does." I looked down. "God, you must think even worse of me now."

"Not really, I mean, it doesn't sound great, but I wished you weren't so blind. It would have saved yourself, and Nathan, a lot of heartache. No one is perfect, though." Bella looked away with a guilty expression and started to bite her lip. I knew our conversation was now over, but I wasn't sure what to make of her reaction.

_"No one is perfect, though"...Bella was pretty perfect to me._

"You about ready for bed?" I asked, and Bella nodded. I shuffled the papers I'd been looking at together before doing my nightly routine of checking the windows, doors, and alarms. Bella made sure all the lights were off, and we said our goodnights in the hallway.

* * *

That was the way every night passed until Friday hit.

After extensive talks with Nathan, who was more than thrilled to be getting out of the house, it was decided that Charlie would pick Nathan up at exactly six AM and return him by four PM. This time allowed them to go out on the water, fish until they dropped, and for Bella and I to go shopping.

The doorbell rang, and Bella froze. I continued to keep a strong facade, but, internally, I was just as nervous. Nathan seemed to be the most calm, which was alarming. He should of been, more scared, more clingy, but he wasn't. His behavior wasn't out of character for how he acted before his kidnapping, but slightly out of character for the average child who had been kidnapped. We told Charlie to call our cell phones if anything...and we meant anything, went wrong.

Nathan ran up to the door and threw it open. Charlie stood there looking gruff, while Bella and I walked Nathan outside. We made sure he had his backpack of supplies with him, and Bella tacked on an extra coat.

"Mom, I'll be fine," I heard Nathan comforting Bella who looked like she was on the brink of tears. "Just remember, I'm with Papa Charlie, he won't let anyone hurt me...he has a gun." Bella chuckled and gave him a tight hug.

"You be safe," I spoke lightly. Nathan rolled his eyes but gave me a hug anyways. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Nathan whispered before turning away and getting into Charlie's truck.

"Be on time," Bella hollered at Charlie.

"Bella, nothing will happen," he reassured her and gave her a hug. I didn't get anything more than a nod out of him, but I didn't expect much. Charlie and I were civil, but that didn't mean I thought he wouldn't shoot me if he thought he could get away with it.

Charlie hopped in and started his truck. They drove off a few second later with Nathan waving out the side window.

Time passed slowly, but Bella stayed cemented to the ground.

"Bella?" I called out. Charlie's truck had just disappeared from the street, and she hadnt even blinked.

"Hmm?" she responded.

"He'll be okay," I reassured her.

"I know," she answered. Her position remained unmoved.

"Bella?" I tried again, hoping this time she'd at least turn towards me, blink, or something beyond staring at the space Charlie's truck was in two minutes ago.

"Yes?" No change.

"He's gone," I stated the obvious. No reaction.

"I know," she sighed.

"Are you going to stare at the same spot all day, or are we still going shopping?"

_Bingo!_

She turned towards me with a broken look on her face. I felt terrible.

"I don't know if I can do this," she started to sob. It took one long stride and I was at her side with my arms wrapped around her. My chest felt wet as her tears soaked through my shirt.

As I held Bella in my arms, I focused my attention on getting her through her mini-panic attack. I held her close, rocked with her a little, and spoke gentle words into her hair. I wanted her to know she wasn't alone, not just in everyday life, but also in her feelings. I was scared, too...scared of not being there the next time something went wrong, of failing Nathan, again. However, I continued to fight my fears with logic. We couldn't turn Nathan into the next Bubble Boy, he was going to grow and explore and move on, whether we were ready for it or not. Next month he'd be back at school, and we needed to know he would be okay without us, that we would be okay without watching him every second of everyday. At least, that was what I kept telling myself.

Bella quieted down several minutes later, but we continued to stand in her driveway for a while longer. I felt Bella's hand unlatch from the back of my shirt as she pulled away. Her eyes were red and puffy, and I immediately flash-backed to a time where we still didn't know Nathan's fate.

"I'm sorry," I heard her mutter as she turned away to walk back inside.

"Don't you dare apologize, Bella," I snapped quickly which sent Bella's eyes flying at me. "You don't ever need to apologize to anyone, but especially me, over crying. I'm right there with you, but it'll be okay, we'll get through this...together."

"You don't look like..." her voice trailed off.

"The difference between you and I is that I'm the better actor."

Bella simply nodded before we walked in and began getting ready for our day out.

* * *

The car ride to Port Angeles was filled with silence, music, and a lot of cell phone checking. I think Bella stared down at her phone more in the forty minute car ride than I had ever seen her use the thing.

Once we arrived in downtown Port Angeles, I found a place to park and opened Bella's door. She got out, but her cell phone remained in her hand. I didn't dare question her, though, mine was attached to my hip on the loudest setting plus vibrate, so I knew I was no better.

We hit the toy store first, where I may, or may not, have gone slightly crazy. Bella had to remind me a few times that her house didn't have the room for a few things I was looking at, but more importantly, money wasn't everything. Logically, I knew all that, but I still wanted to buy out the store. I ended up settling with a bag full of action figures, some baseball trading cards, and the newest baseball game for the Wii.

I knew my reaction to the toy store was slightly obnoxious, but Bella had no room to talk once I saw how she reacted in the bookstore. I think she bought out most of the young adult section, along with a handful of books for herself, and a book on fishing for Charlie.

I assumed we'd pass up the jewelry store, but Bella turned to go in, so I followed. She immediately walked to the case with charms you'd put on a charm bracelet, and I got confused. I'd never seen Bella wear much jewelry, especially a charm bracelet. She politely asked the clerk to see their selection, but it wasn't until she narrowed down her choice to three; a shoe, a handbag, and a solid, diamond gem, that I knew she wasn't shopping for herself. Her face remained thoughtful for a while before she chose the diamond. She bought the charm for $400 before walking out without a word to me.

It was nearing close to noon, so I suggested we hit the car to drop stuff off our bags, and find a place to eat, before heading back to Forks. We'd hit all of the places on our list, and I wasn't sure anything else would fit in my car, anyways.

It wasn't until we were sitting in a small Italian Bistro that Bella brought up the charm she'd purchased.

"It's for Alice," she spoke casually. I tilted my head to the side, because I didn't understand, before she went on to clarify. "The charm, it's for Alice."

"That's an expensive charm for my sister," I replied. I knew Bella made a decent amount of money from her books, so it wasn't a judgment on money, but I was amazed to know she thought so much of my sister to spend $400 on something meant for a bracelet.

"It is, I don't normally spend that much, but it just seemed to fit this year." The casual coolness of her voice confused me, and I felt like I was missing a piece to a puzzle.

"How many years have you been buying her charms?" I asked in wonder.

"Um, since she moved to Forks. We started talking a little bit more and hanging out. When Christmas came around, I thought it only fair to buy her something, and settled on a charm bracelet I knew she'd love. I started it with a few charms; shopping, fashion, but the one she loved the most said "#1 Aunt". Now every Christmas, I buy her a new one to add."

"What does she buy you?" I pushed.

"Ornaments, I love collecting them, so she always finds me rare or special ornaments. Sometimes they're local, but a lot of the time she'll bring a few back from her trips."

Our conversation continued to flow through the rest of the meal, and I learned that Bella and Alice were a lot closer than I realized. Bella let on that the only reason why Alice had been distance is her guilt over Nathan's homecoming, but I assured her that I would rectify that issue as soon as I could. She expressed her thanks, since she wanted to invite Alice over a few times, but it felt awkward. Alice was holding onto a grudge I didn't feel, so I knew I needed to express that to my sister. I also knew she was busy helping Rosalie and Emmett get settled in their new home. They'd been in town for quite a while, but they were still working on decorating and making final adjustments for the nursery they were building. As happy as I was for them, I felt a pang of sorrow anytime I thought of the experience they were sharing right now. It was one I always longed to go through, but Bella and my situation didn't fit, and a pregnant Tanya was the last thing I wanted to endure.

When we got back to the car, I helped Bella get situated before heading back to Forks. My car was filled to the brim with presents, and Charlie hadn't called...all good signs. I could see Bella cracking at different points of our trip, but she quickly pulled herself together, and overall, it was an enjoyable day out.

The drive back gave me time to reflect. I knew that I couldn't turn this around for my own self-pity, but spending the day with Bella was a reminder of what I'd lost. Or, at least, what life could have been like. I wanted to continue to apologize to her, but I knew it was pointless. She was happy with her life, and I was learning to cope with the decisions I'd made. Falling back into a friendship with her was easy...easier than breathing, but I didn't even dare to hope for more. I knew Bella was off the table, as anything more than a friend.

We parked at Bella's house with plenty of time to spare before Charlie was due to bring Nathan home. While we were out in Port Angeles, Bella had plenty of things to occupy her mind, but once we were back it hit home again. So I suggested she show me all of her Christmas stuff, and I'd start pulling it out of storage for her.

"Are you sure you can manage all that?" Bella called as I walked up the steps to her attic.

"Bella?" I called out in a questioning tone. I realized I wasn't as big as Emmett, but I wasn't weak, either.

"Sorry, it's just, well, I normally have my dad come every year and..." she hastily explained.

"You think Charlie is stronger than me?" I called down sarcastically, and she laughed nervously.

She had tubs upon tubs of Christmas decorations, lights, ornaments, garland, tinsel, and more. By the time I was done getting everything down, I would have been lying if I said I wasn't a little tired.

"Thank you," Bella said genuinely as she held out a pop for me to drink. I smiled and took it, quickly gulping it all down.

"Once Nathan gets back, we'll decide how much to do today. Will you show me where you want the tree set up?"

Bella nodded as I followed her into the living room. She pointed at the far open corner, so I walked back out to grab the box. Bella had a fake tree, so I knew it wouldn't take long to put it up, and I was right. With five minutes before Nathan was due to be home, the tree was up, and the lights were on. All that was left was the actual decorating, which I didn't know if we'd do tonight or tomorrow. It would all depend on how tired Nathan was when he returned.

I turned away from the tree to find Bella staring at me intently from the couch. Her facial expression was unreadable to me, as I'd never seen her face contort like that before.

"Everything okay?" I asked, concerned that she may be upset or something.

She lightly shook her head but didn't speak.

"Just a few more minutes," I announced, and Bella's face broke out into a smile.

Charlie was nothing, if not punctual, because the doorbell rang several seconds later.

Bella flew to the door and opened it to find Nathan bouncing up and down with Jacob and Charlie at his side.

She ushered them all in, and with the quiet words floating between Charlie and Jacob, I knew they were up to no good.

"Did you have fun, buddy?" I asked as Nathan barreled up to me. He had flung his arms around me so tightly I was actually shocked for a second.

"You're still here," he whispered in amazement.

I was shocked by his words and somewhat hurt that he's think I'd leave him. However, I reminded myself that I was still building trust with him, so I needed to relax.

"There is no where else I'd rather be," I whispered back before pulling away to kiss his forehead.

Charlie, Bella, and Jacob were talking when Nathan spied the tree and started bouncing even more. I assumed he would nap sometime while they were out, but I was beginning to think Charlie fed him nothing but sugar.

"Wow, Nathan, your tree is up," Jacob called out, and Nathan tensed.

"Yeah, it is, are we decorating tonight, Mom?" Nathan asked. Bella and I had already talked about decorating whenever Nathan was up for it, which appeared to be tonight.

"Sure, baby, if that's what you want," Bella answered, and Nathan grinned. Only his grin turned to a smirk, and my eyes narrowed in on what my son was thinking.

"Do you need any help getting stuff down, Bells?" Charlie asked, but she explained that I had pulled everything down earlier. He simply nodded.

"Hey, Nathan, do you want any help decorating?" Jacob asked. My mind screamed "NO!" but I kept my mouth shut. It was then I saw the hope dancing behind Jacob's eyes as he looked to Bella. I wasn't sure what Bella's reaction would be, so I held my breath waiting for Nathan's.

"No, thanks. It was fun fishing together, but I want my mom and dad to help me decorate." To anyone else, Nathan's words would have seemed like the typical rambling of an eight year old child, but to me, I knew exactly what Nathan was doing. When Bella looked up at me, I knew she knew as well. Charlie looked confused, and Jacob saved face by remaining emotionless.

"That's cool," he replied coolly. "We'll have to go fishing again soon, what do you think? Maybe even next time your mom can come, too."

Bad move! Not only did Jacob ask Nathan directly, while ignoring Bella, he just proved to Bella she was correct in her assumption that Jacob was attempting to use Nathan to get to her.

I would say score for me, but I knew I was out of this race...I just didn't want Jacob in it.

"That would be fun, but I think my dad should come next time, too. We could have so much fun together, right Dad?" He turned to face me, and I knew I was glowing. Not just because my son was doing a very good job at under-handing Jacob at every turn, but because I could see a small bit of our relationship coming back together.

"That sounds wonderful," I replied, emotion lacing my voice.

"Of course, Edward should come, too," Jacob replied with a clipped tone.

Bella immediately caught onto it, and as politely as she could, suggested it was time for her to get dinner ready for her family. Emphasizing the word 'family' as she said it. She thanked her dad again for taking Nathan out, while Nathan hugged Charlie and pretty much ignored Jacob. He must have said something on this trip to gain that sort of a reaction from Nathan, though, I just wondered if he'd let us in on it.

* * *

I helped Nathan get cleaned up for dinner while Bella re-heated the lasagna we'd eaten the night before.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" I simply asked, and Nathan grinned.

"When Mom is around," he answered back, and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

Respecting his wishes, we moved onto the topic of his trip while he explained all the fish he had caught. Charlie had promised to do a fish fry with it all, and he'd eat over there one night. The idea didn't sound like a bad one, as long as Jacob wasn't invited, but I knew Charlie would have to clear it with Bella first. I was sure Charlie would invite us over as well, but it may work as another babysitting trial. For a few hours one evening it would be a nice chance for us to test our ability to let him go, again.

Bella called for us soon after, and we all took a seat at the table.

"How was your trip, Nathan?" Bella asked after we said Grace.

"It was fun, I caught a fish this big." Nathan held out his arms to span his entire chest and Bella laughed. We both knew that wasn't true, but there was no sense in correcting an eight year old.

"Did your Papa only give you candy today? You seem really hyper," Bella commented. Nathan's grin turned to a smirk.

"No, but I took a nap for a little while, they talked a lot, so I couldn't sleep for long." Nathan shrugged, but that caught Bella's interest.

"How long did you sleep?" Bella asked, I assumed to gauge how long it would take to get him to bed later that night.

"Well, I woke up to Jacob going on and on about you, Mom. He must have talked for at least an hour, so I was drifting around that time, but when I really woke up, the sun was lower. They said two hours, but I knew it wasn't that long."

Bingo.

Bella's eyes went wide, and I knew she wanted to know what was said.

"Was that why you were so rude to Jacob, because he was talking about me?" Bella questioned.

"Mom, he talked about you...well, like...like a lot. Telling Papa Charlie that he wanted to take you out, but you said no, and he was going to change your mind." Nathan kept up his air of indifference, but I knew better. Nathan was my spitting image, and he was doing exactly what I would have been doing at the same age.

"Is that all?" she asked quietly. Bella looked ,upset, and for that I was angry. I didn't appreciate a grown man talking about Bella like she was a prize to be had. Bella was priceless and deserved respect, much more respect than Jacob was giving her.

"No, he asked me some stuff about you. Like your favorite movie, song, flower...that sorta thing. He didn't seem to want to talk to me though, he talked to me only to learn about you, but only when Papa Charlie wasn't paying attention."

"What do you mean not paying attention?" Bella jumped. I immediately put my hand to her arm in an attempt to calm her. To my surprise, she didn't pull back.

"Well, like, he walked away for a second to grab more wood for the fire. I was always in his sight, he never took his eyes off of me, but that is when Jacob would ask his questions." Nathan was backpedaling. He hadn't factored in getting his Papa in trouble, but I could see the fury in Bella's eyes that Nathan wasn't seeing.

"Thank you for telling me, baby. I was just...worried, while you were gone. Now tell me this, would you like to go fishing again?"

Nathan nodded his head furiously, and I knew he had played his part well.

"Would you like to go, Edward?" She turned her head to me, and I nodded.

"I think it could be fun, I don't have much fishing equipment, but I'm sure I could get some."

The rest of the meal turned lighter as Nathan asked us about our trip to Port Angeles.

Nathan wasn't coming down from his high, so I pulled in two storage tubs of tree decorations from the garage.

"Nathan, what do you normally do first?" I asked out of curiosity. I reminded myself to ask Bella how Christmas worked in her house, as we hadn't shared one together in years.

"Um, garland is first, right Mom?" He looked over his shoulder to find Bella nodding. She had changed from her jeans and t-shirt to a pair of sleep pants and a tank top. I knew I shouldn't have let her appearance effect me, but it did. Her hair fell gently over her shoulders in soft curls from having it in a messy bun all day. Her contacts were out, so she was wearing her black framed glasses, while holding a tray of hot cocoa.

"Yes, baby, garland first," she replied while setting the tray down on the coffee table.

While I took the top portion for garland, since I was the tallest, Bella took the middle, and Nathan took the bottom. With our system we were done pretty quickly, and then, they both volunteered me to do the pearls. Apparently, neither one of them liked putting them on, but it was tradition so I said fine. I'd never put beaded pearls on a tree before, but after they started to become tangled, I knew why they elected me. What felt like hours were actually just a matter of minutes before I was done. Bella and Nathan sat on the couch laughing at me the entire time.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically in their direction with a smile on my face.

"You're welcome, Daddy," Nathan replied, but Bella just kept laughing.

I huffed and sat down after the last strand of beads were on, and Bella looked at me with soften eyes.

"Now you see why I hate doing them?" she asked, and I nodded.

In the meantime, Nathan had popped up and began placing ornaments on the tree.

It was nearly ten o'clock before Nathan passed out, and Bella and I had said goodnight to each other.

That night, I went to bed feeling hopeful. I just wasn't sure exactly what I was hopeful for.

* * *

**As stated in the beginning A/N this is Chapter 18 Part I...which means there is a Part II floating around out in the land of gdocs. When I sat down to write the Christmas adventures of Edward, Bella, and Nathan well, I wasn't thinking it would be 10,000 words, but it sorta was. So I'm breaking it up... A LOT happens, so trust me, it's needed. Part II will update on Wednesday! I'm already writing Chapter 19 and will try not to do the Part I & II thing again, but honestly, I've gotten really, really wordy lately so I make no promises. The truth is, a lot is happening and it's not little things that can be glossed over, they're HUGE things that I know everyone wants to read and see.  
**

**Part II teasers will be part of this weeks review replies. **

**Morethanmyself and I will be hosting the Pick Your Own Adventure Contest early next year, so I'll be updating more info on that soon!**

**Weekly Rec: All That Jazz by javamomma0921 **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5928431/1/All_That_Jazz **This is a historical piece set in the 1920's and I am IN LOVE! There is NO WAY you can not LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this Edward, and even Bella! Honestly, it's review count is appalling for how amazing this story is! I am a sucker for historical pieces, courting, and the lot, so please check it out! You won't regret it one bit! **


	19. Chapter 18 Part II

**I hope everyone is having a wonderful start to 2011! I celebrated an awesome birthday with my husband and girls, so I'm happy :) I said Wednesday, but I'm impatient ;)  
**

**Thank you to kas90, stupidlamb118, morethanmyself, & devonmaid for their help with this chapter! **

**I don't own Twilight, I'd be rolling in dough if I did!**

**THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH for all the votes in the Avant Garde Awards! Blind Intentions won for Best Shock Value! You are all amazing!  
**

**Chapter 18: Part II**

*****I loaded this chapter days ago, but FFn merged it with a different version, it's now been replaced. Sorry about the FFn Fail!***

* * *

  
**

**

* * *

**

"Do you think Bella wants Jacob?" Dr. Devon asked once I was done explaining the Jacob situation.

"No, never," I snapped quickly. "I mean, I had heard him ask Bella out, but she said no. Bella hadn't dated anyone since, well, since me, so honestly, I think I'd be shocked if she did start dating again. I'd completely support her, but I don't know if Jacob realizes his odds."

"But what if she wanted to date you?" he pushed.

"Well, I'd be all for that," I replied honestly.

"Do you think you're worthy of her?" I wasn't sure if Dr. Devon meant this question to be difficult to answer or not, but it was, because I was so torn.

"On one hand, I'm not sure I'll ever be worthy of her. Then, on the other, I feel like I could genuinely make her happy. I've been watching her lately, how she talks, the way her eyes drift off when she was thoughtful or daydreaming, and I know what she said before, which was idiotic of me to ask at the time, anyways, but I sometimes wonder if she'd answer differently now."

"But you're still married," Dr. Devon pointed out.

"I am, but only legally, not emotionally. I'm not sure I was ever emotionally married to Tanya, but my lawyer is working on changing that status." The truth was, it came down to a waiting game. Tanya needed to be unreachable for 180 days, at which point, I had to attempt to find her for 90 days. After that, I could divorce her without her present. All I had to do was place a small ad in a newspaper looking for her and that would be sufficient enough to try and find her.

"How do you think Bella sees all of this?" Dr. Devon always asked questions that made me think.

"Anything from your mom?" he asked as he moved to stand up.

"She's out, no one has really heard from her or seen her beyond my dad, and I'm just waiting for her to show up. It's got to happen, right?" I asked.

"You never know, but Edward, this is the first time I'm leaving you without you head banging onto the table." He chuckled before walking off.

I sat there for a second, stunned...he was right. That had to be a good sign, right?

I walked through the door to our home with a huge smile on my face.

Bella seemed to notice my mood change but said nothing. We went about our evening like nothing had changed. A few days after the incident with Jacob, I walked in to hear Bella on the phone with Charlie. She was angry that he allowed Jacob to try and worm his way into Nathan's life, and although she felt indebted to Jacob for saving Nathan, she was not going to date him because of it. When Bella eyed me at the doorway slack-jawed, she nodded her head at me, before hanging up. After that our relationship seemed to shift. It was lighter, easier...more fun. It was as if she truly relaxed around me.

* * *

The next morning, we woke up and headed to Dr. Banner's. Their session went as planned, and Nathan hadn't brought up the will conversation again. Today they talked about Nathan transitioning back into school where he revealed that he was scared, but excited. He didn't want to be treated any differently by his friends and teachers. He was doing remarkably well with the tutor we had coming in every few days. Mrs. Cope was amazing with Nathan, and she assured us that she would have Nathan up to par with his peers so that he could transfer back in easily, at least, academically.

We left Dr. Banner's for the photographer. Every year, Bella and I had the same tradition: family pictures. This was one thing I could say I was not a failure on, because I never missed a year. Doing pictures when Nathan was younger was harder because he wouldn't sit still, but now it only took us about 30 minutes and we were done. Bella peered over the screen as the lady behind the counter showed her the shots. I never helped here, but Bella began to dig in her purse as I came up behind her.

"How much?" I asked and the lady spouted off the price; $123.98. I handed her my card.

Bella gasped and looked at me with pointed eyes.

"You paid last year, it's my turn," I replied. She looked annoyed for a second, before nodding.

The lady assured us that we'd have the pictures in the mail before Christmas, and we left the studio to hunt down some lunch.

* * *

Everyday seemed shorter than the last as Bella and I made last minute gift purchases and arrangements for Christmas day. Nathan was so excited when he woke up that he'd run to the advent calendar to count down another day...of course, the chocolate helped, too.

Before any of us knew it, though, Christmas Eve was upon us. Bella received the last package of the season...our newest family pictures, and was getting ready to change over the frames. I sat down to help her cut them all out so she could include them in cards we'd be giving out the next day.

An uncomfortable topic loomed in my head, but I knew it was one that needed to be addressed. Nathan was napping, so I felt like I was safe to bring up the topic...moving out.

"Bella, when do you think I should move out?" I asked casually as I cut the wallet sized pictures out.

Bella stopped what she was doing, and out of the corner of my eye, I watched her turn towards me.

"Um, I hadn't thought about it, are you thinking soon?" Bella's voice was calm, but her eyes began to dart around the room.

"I really hadn't thought of a date," I explained. "Nathan is doing well, which I thought was the point, so I had just assumed you'd want me gone, eventually. I'm really in no rush, but I don't want to over stay my welcome and make you uncomfortable."

I turned to look at Bella who was looking at me like I was insane.

"What? Was I wrong?" I asked when she hadn't spoken a word in response.

"Yes!" Bella snapped. "Crap...well, what I mean is, you're welcomed to stay as long as you want, I'm in no hurry to get ride of you."

I chuckled and she flushed. I hadn't seen Bella flush since college.

"Well, that's good to know, I just figured I still made you uncomfortable, and I didn't want that," I further explained my position.

"Well, maybe at first...I mean, it was an adjustment, but now, well, I kinda like having you around." Bella laughed nervously. "You know, like when I need stuff off the top shelf in the kitchen...and stuff."

I laughed at her, and she shook her head at me.

"Okay, no more move out talk, you just let me know when you're ready for me to leave."

Before either one of us could say anything else, both of our attention was snapped to the doorway behind us.

"You're leaving?" Nathan shrieked as tears spilled from his eyes.

"Crap," I muttered as I flew from the table to follow Nathan's retreating form.

I was surprised when Nathan didn't take off for his room, but instead he went to the Christmas tree.

I found him sitting, just on the red velvet tree skirt, while he played with one of the ornaments that was hung towards the bottom.

"Nathan," I started as I walked up behind him. "We explained when I moved in that this wasn't permanent, but your mom and I agreed I'd be staying longer. I don't..."

My voice died the instant Nathan looked up at me.

The same cold eyes I was met with his first day home were now staring a hole through my chest.

_Jimmy. _

"Nathan?" I asked. I had to be sure.

No response.

"Jimmy?" I called out next.

"Nice to see your again...Daddy," he sneered at me.

Bella stood frozen at the doorway as she watched her son become possessed by Jimmy.

"What can I do for you?" I asked calmly.

"You know, you almost had him fooled. He really thought you cared, not just about him, but also about her." He pointed in Bella's direction. "But this was all just a game, right? Make Nathan trust you again, her trust you again, and then you run off, and find Nathan a new mommy right? A new family?"

"I would never replace Nathan, and I do love him, this has never been a game." I narrowed my eyes at Nathan's still body.

"Sure it hasn't." Jimmy rolled Nathan's eyes and refocused his attention back on the tree.

Time stood still before I watched Nathan's posture relax.

This Jimmy episode was much shorter, but it was still the first one in weeks.

"Nathan?" I called out after about five minutes.

He turned towards me with a broken face.

I took a seat next to him and watched as he twirled an ornament back and forth.

"I love you," I whispered as I knocked into him with my shoulder.

"I love you, too," he whispered back.

"I'm going to stay for a while," I went on.

"Good." No emotion.

"I think it's time to start making cookies," I announced in an attempt to lighten the mood.

He looked over at me, barely smiling, before telling me he'd follow in a minute.

I met Bella in the doorway and wiped away her lone tear with my finger.

We made our way to the kitchen as Bella began pulling the ingredients out to make the cookie dough. I could see her visibly shaking, so I came up behind her to give her a hug.

"It's going to be okay," I soothed quietly.

"Maybe, well, maybe you should just stay a while," Bella whispered. "I really don't mind."

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea." I nodded. "We'll figure all of this out later."

Nathan walked in a few minutes later, after Bella and I had separated, and the cookie baking began.

By the end of the night, we had lines of gingerbread men, stars, snowflakes, and reindeer, cooked, decorated, and a handful already eaten.

Nathan began to yawn and we offered to stay in, but he insisted we must go on our night light ride.

The drive was peaceful with Christmas music floating in the air. No one talked as I drove throughout the small neighborhoods in the area. Nathan pointed out houses that were lit up more than the others, and I caught Bella smiling in my direction more than once.

He was half asleep by the time he we got home which made playing Santa a million times easier.

Bella and I said our goodnights shortly after eleven. We both knew Christmas would be especially busy since dinner was at our house, so getting as much rest as possible was a must.

* * *

I shouldn't have been surprised to find Nathan jumping on my bed a little after six, screaming Santa had come, but I was. I figured this would be one of the last years he'd believe, so I put on a smile as I dragged my ass out of my room and to the living room.

Bella was already making cups of hot cocoa, and I was ready to get the gift giving over with.

"Can I now?" Nathan asked as soon as Bella walked in with 3 mugs.

"Yes," she answered, and Nathan dove in head first.

This was when I learned of Nathan's system. He took every present and began to make piles. One for me, one for Bella, and one for himself. Any present for someone else was left under the tree. His organization of the presents was not something he ever did at my old house.

"Okay, open," he said once all of the piles were assembled.

Bella and I both watched on as Nathan opened gift after gift. We may...okay, did go a lot overboard, but he was worth it. When Nathan came to his last box, I knew it was one Bella hadn't seen yet.

Nathan reached for his last box, it was small, wrapped in blue paper with white snowflakes. The only present with this particular wrapping paper. I wanted it to stand out on purpose.

As he unwrapped it, slower than he had anything else, I watched his face turn from confusion to amazement as he read the words on the tickets.

"Really?" he asked in awe. I smiled back and nodded my head. "And you'll take me?" he question.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I declared with a smile on my face.

"Mom to?" He had counted the tickets and realized I'd purchased three. I hadn't spoken to Bella about going, but I never wanted her to feel left out, so spur of the moment I'd purchased three.

"If you want me to, baby," Bella answered, although she had no idea what she was agreeing to.

He nodded before I caught her eye. Her face remained unreadable, but her eyes were loud and clear...confusion.

"What are they for, Nathan?" she asked.

"A baseball game for the Mariner's in April," Nathan announced while holding the tickets for Bella to grab.

"I'm sure we're all going to love it," Bella spoke with her eyes trained on me.

I wasn't sure if I was in trouble or not, but it didn't look like I was.

"Now you have to open your gifts," Nathan pushed.

Bella picked up the present I had wrapped for her and slowly took the paper off. As she opened the small black box she gasped.

"This is too much," Bella immediately protested, but I shook my head.

"No, it's not. Look, it's a mother's charm. This..." I pointed to the sapphire, "is your birth stone, and this smaller one is Nathan's."

She pulled the necklace out of it's box to get a closer look while Nathan moved up beside her to get a better look, as well.

"It's beautiful, thank you," she said quietly as Nathan suggested he put it on her.

"You're welcome," I replied as I picked up her gift. It was larger in size, but no less valuable. Bella had picked up an old fashioned medical box for me, complete with an older stethoscope and percussor.

"I didn't know if you still collected these things, but I saw it in a vintage shop and it screamed your name." Bella looked nervous, but her gift was perfect.

"No, no...this is...perfect," I said as I examined each tool. This set was probably from the 20's from the way it was all designed and the materials used to make it. "Thank you," I tacked on at the end.

We also exchanged a few smaller presents. She got me a few medical books, and I ordered the White House Ornament for her. I didn't notice Alice had got her any of those before, so I knew it would stand out. She beamed over at me when she saw it and immediately jumped to add it to the tree.

As soon as presents were done, Bella immediately went to work in the kitchen. We were having turkey and ham, so Bella had to have the turkey in by eight to ensure it would be ready in time. She had done most of the prepping the night before, so it was relatively easy for her to put together.

As Bella worked in the kitchen, I helped Nathan rid the living room of all the wrapping paper and clean up and organize all of his new presents. Taking everything out of the boxes posed to be the most challenging, with the million and one booby traps manufactures were now installing to ensure their toys couldn't be stolen. One thing had the twisting thingies, plus the hard plastic that acted like tape, and black long pieces you had to turn like screws...all for one damn action figure. I hadn't been counting on this, otherwise, he may have only gotten one, not five.

Family began arriving at four, and even though it seemed like a lot of time from the second we woke up, we were all running around frantically to ensure we were ready in time. Nathan was donning one of his new outfits from Santa, while Bella stuck with a simple pair of jeans with a red sweater, and I wore a green button up with jeans. We all looked Christmas-y, but casual, and more importantly, comfortable.

Rosalie and Emmett were the first to arrive, and I had to admit, Rosalie looked amazing. Pregnancy definitely agreed with her. She immediately went off in search of Bella, while Emmett hung out with me and Nathan. The Cowboys were being handed their ass by the Cardinals on the big screen, which is eventually where Jasper found us. I then realized if Jasper was here, so was Alice. I hadn't really spoken to her a lot since Nathan's homecoming...we'd talk, but not about anything serious, and after Bella's latest comment, I realized I needed to take her aside.

I found Alice in the kitchen and asked if I could grab her away for a few minutes. We walked into the dining room to give us some privacy, and the first thing I did was give her a hug.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"What are you sorry about?" she asked in an equally hushed tone.

"I had no idea you thought I was still upset, Alice, I love you, and I wasn't mad. Annoyed, sure, but not enough for you to avoid me."

Alice's shoulders immediately relaxed, and she smiled.

"Oh, thank God!" she squealed before giving me a tighter hug.

We talked for a bit longer before she headed back to the kitchen with the girls. The doorbell rang and I found both my dad, and Bella's dad, waiting to be let in.

Charlie walked in and headed straight for the fridge to drop off his beer before hitting the big screen. My dad lingered a bit longer, and I knew that meant he wanted to talk. He had a bag full of presents which I took and lead him to the same spot I had just talked to Alice only minutes prior.

"How are things?" I asked casually.

"Going well, we miss you at the hospital," he commented, and I nodded. "The divorce is about to be finalized, and I wanted to talk to you about that."

"What about?" I asked, my curiosity peeked.

"I've been using the divorce to keep your mother away from you, from all of you, really. I told her she could have what she wanted if it meant letting you go, which was no big deal, she was going to get her way,regardless, but once it's finalized, well, I think she plans on coming to you to plead her case. I just wanted to warn you that I wouldn't be surprised if she just showed up." He finished, and an uneasy feeling settled in my stomach.

An unannounced drop by from my mom would not be a welcomed one.

"Thank you for the warning. Charlie mentioned she got five years probation and community service, so I'm assuming she has to stay in the area?" I asked.

"Yeah, she bought a house in Port Angeles. Her mother is funding her right now, but I don't think she'll try and talk to Alice or Emmett, but you, you were her baby, so I just thought you should know." My dad's face looked pained, and I knew he held regret for not doing more back then.

"Come on," I pushed as a distraction. I knew my dad and I would talk one day, but Christmas would not be that day. "Let's go see if the Cowboys gained any ground."

He nodded and followed me into the living room. I realized everyone was low on drinks so I offered to get more.

All of the girls were busy helping in one way or another. I noticed Rosalie sitting in a chair mashing potatoes, while Alice was pulling a pie out of the oven, and Bella was at the fridge. I placed my hand on her side to ensure she wouldn't fall as I moved around her to grab drinks.

Our motions seemed so natural it didn't even occur to me what I'd done until I heard Rosalie gasp Bella's name the second I cleared the kitchen doorway. Instead of going back to listen, I kept on walking.

That night after all the food was eaten, all the gifts had been exchanged, and the house was relatively back to normal, I realized I was smiling at Bella that night because, for the first time, I finally felt like my life was coming back together.

* * *

**Thank you so much for your patience with waiting for Part II and I hope it's everything you wanted it to be! Christmas is over and it's time for our lovely family of 3 to get their lives back to normal...or normal-er!  
**

**Chapter 19, no later than next Friday! Teaser for it in review replies.**

**My newest contest is up and running! It's called Pick Your Own Adventure! It's a Mad Lib game for fan fiction! Check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~pickyourownadventurecontest

**Weekly Rec: My Viking by sheviking **It's just simply amazing and historic, it's newer, but I'm excited to read the updates as they post! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6533751/1/My_Viking


	20. Chapter 19

**I'm not sure I can over use the word awesome when it comes to my readers-so ya'll are awesome! The response to the last chapter was amazing, and I'm so glad everyone seemed to like it!I'm sorry about the original formatting problems...it took just under 20 re-posts before FFN fixed it. Hoping for a better day, today!  
**

**Thank you to kas90, morethanmyself, devonmaid, and jadmama for helping with this chapter, as I wanted to jump off a ledge several times because of it!**

**I don't own Twilight, I will never claim to own Twilight, and I swear I will never try to publish this story, after only changing the names of the Twilight cast it originated with ;)  
**

* * *

There comes a time, in every parents life, when they begin to dread the bigger events of their child's life. Instead of being excited about marking milestones off the chart, it becomes a reminder that they're growing up.

Whether it was the first time Nathan smiled, rolled over, said his first word, got his first tooth, had his first bite of cereal, or when he crawled...we laughed, cheered, and clapped our hands to show him he was doing a good job. Then, reality struck when his first birthday came and went, and he became a little more independent everyday. Whether it was walking, running, picking something up, using the bathroom by himself, and so forth, we smiled and cheered, but we also felt sorrow...our little boy was growing up.

On Nathan's first day of kindergarten, it was I who cried, not Bella. In fact, I distinctly remember being laughed at for being such a sap.

_"Daddy." Nathan pulled my hand down, indicating that he wanted me to kneel down to his level. _

_"I'm right here," I croaked out. _

_"Tis okay, tis jus kindygrtn." He laughed at me. His smile was infectious, and I knew I was over reacting, but he was my little boy. He wasn't suppose to grow up. _

_"I know, you go have fun, I'll be fine." I waved him off with my hand. _

_"Buh-bye." He waved goodbye to me and Bella before marching straight into his classroom and to his seat. _

_When the classroom door shut, I froze...that was it. _

So now, on Nathan's first day back to school, it was no surprise that I had turned back into a sap.

"Dad, are you going to cry again?" Nathan half whined, half laughed.

"Um, no?" I faked a smile while Bella rolled her eyes at me.

"Dad, it was okay when I was, like, five, but I'm eight now, that's, well, it's just not normal, okay?" The look on his face told me he was dead serious.

"I'll try to save my tears for when no one is looking," I swore.

"Mom, can't we leave him here?" Nathan asked, earning a laugh from Bella.

"Your dad has always been the emotional one, just you wait, when you have kids of your own..." She was cut off.

"Yeah, yeah...when I have kids of my own I'll be going through the same thing," he mocked. "But girls are gross, so I'm not having kids."

I started howling with laughter which earned me a sharp glare from Bella.

"No need for the mom-look," I joked.

One of the changes we made for Nathan going back to school was he'd no longer be using the bus. Everyday, Bella or I would drop him off and pick him up. The school was amazingly understanding and offered to help transition Nathan back into his classroom as easily as possible. We spoke with the principal in great lengths about what he had been through, all of the recommendations made from Dr. Banner, and also about his personality shifts. Dr. Banner agreed that because he only seemed to shift around me, it shouldn't be a problem while he was at school, however, his teacher did need to know in case it happened.

We arrived at the school a few minutes earlier than normal. Nathan practically jumped out of the car when he saw the principal, Mr. Molina, and his teacher, Mrs. Weber, walk out upon seeing us.

"Welcome back, Nathan." Mrs. Weber bent down and hugged him.

"Thanks!" he replied happily.

"Bella, Edward." Mr. Molina nodded his head at both of us.

"Now, Nathan, let's walk to the classroom, and I'll tell you what we're doing this week." Mrs. Weber guided Nathan through the doors.

"How are you both doing this morning?" Mr. Molina asked quietly as we trailed behind.

"Dealing," I replied.

"Doing okay," Bella answered. She was always so much calmer than I was, and I envied her.

"Good, you should know I've talked to the school secretary about your concerns, and Nathan's pick up sheet has been changed. We also informed the teachers on patrol, for the pick-up loop, that Nathan is only to be released to one of you, and of course, we'll call if anything goes wrong. However, it doesn't look like we'll have any issues." Mr. Molina nodded his head towards the classroom.

Nathan was walking around the different desks with his fingertips trailing in his wake. He appeared to be mesmerized by his old classroom.

Nathan needed normalcy, so it was refreshing to see him handle the transition so seamlessly, and I knew his return to school would only help further his recovery.

The school bell rang minutes later, and students started to pour in. A few immediately eyed Nathan, and all but tackled him with their hugs. He was smiling and talking animatedly, and not acting nearly as shy or nervous as I expected him to be.

Bella looked over at me as we slowly began tip-toeing out. Mr. Molina was still standing with us as we all exited the classroom. Nathan looked up at the last second and nodded his head. He was silently telling us he would be okay, but it still took all I had to walk away.

The door closed, much like it has on his first day of kindergarten, and I realized that was it, again.

"Remember, we'll call if anything..." Mr. Molina spoke, but Bella interrupted him.

"We know, thank you so much," she replied before grabbing my hand and leading us to the car.

Silent tears streamed down my face as waves of emotions hit me in rapid succession.

No amount of preparation could prepare me for what I was feeling, and it all came out of nowhere.

My denial...gone. My justifications...crumbled. My guilt...drowning. My anger...redirected.

This wasn't my mom's fault. This was never my mom's fault. This was me. All me.

She didn't make me listen to every word she said.

She didn't make me abandon Bella.

She didn't force me into marrying Tanya.

She didn't make me disappear from Nathan's life.

This was me.

This was only me.

I could have fought.

I could have yelled, screamed...anything, anything would have been better than what I did...I did nothing. I smiled and nodded, and even when my gut said no, I did it, anyway.

How I got back to Bella's house, I wasn't sure. I assumed she'd fished my keys out and drove us.

I hit my bed and just stared at the ceiling.

Time moved forward, but I stayed stilled.

I questioned everything.

My mother's voice filled my head.

_"You've always been so good in science, Edward, you'd make such a good doctor..."_

_"Oh, honey, you haven't done your lessons today?"_

_"Were you talking to Amber Henderson? Oh, honey, that girl is nothing but trouble, you shouldn't talk to her."_

_"Edward, can you..."_

_"Edward, why don't you..."_

_"Edward..."_

_"Ed..."_

What had I ever done for me? Truly, done for me?

I could hear a voice in the distance, but it wasn't clear.

Several minutes later, I heard footsteps again.

"He won't move, he's been like this since we dropped off Nathan, and I'm worried, please." Bella's voice was faint, but I kept my eyes closed.

Time passed, but I continued to stay still. Whirling emotions continued to paralyze my body as waves of guilt and acceptance hit me pound for pound.

"Edward," my father's voice called out. "Edward, open your eyes," he commanded. His tone was harsh and my cheek stung...did he?

_Did he just slap me?_

I blinked my eyes open, but immediately shut them as the light blinded me.

"Edward, say something, anything, please," he begged.

"I'm..." I croaked. My throat burned. He lifted a glass of water that I greedily gulped down.

"What happened?" he asked, but I didn't know how to answer him.

"I don't know," I replied honestly. "I was thinking, and then..."

Bella peered into the room. An anxious look written all over her face.

"Edward, I have to leave in fifteen minutes to pick up Nathan, and if you're not...not functioning, I need you to leave. I can't let Nathan see you like this," she quietly announced. Even with a low tone, I could hear how serious her words were.

At the mention of Nathan's name, I realized how much time I'd lost. If we dropped him off at eight and he was due home at...six hours gone.

I popped out of bed and stretched my muscles.

"No, no...I'm not leaving, I'm coming with you." I started walking towards Bella.

"Edward, I think..." my dad started, but I whipped around towards him.

"I quit," I announced.

"Excuse me?" he immediately questioned.

"I'll type up a letter of resignation, but I quit. I'm not going back to the hospital," I clarified.

"But, Edward, I don't think..." my dad started to sputter.

"It's not up for negotiation, I am not coming back." I turned towards Bella. "Let's go pick up our son."

"Edward," she whispered in the hallway. "You're giving me whiplash."

"I'll explain later, I promise," I answered, and she didn't push further.

And, so I did. We both picked Nathan up from school, helped him with his homework, went about our normal evening routine until he was asleep. Bella and I then sat in the living room while I explained my epiphany. Even though I logically knew this was all my fault, I had still been blaming others. If I kept doing that, it meant I wasn't really moving on with my life.

Bella expressed fear in my sudden dismissal of my job, but the truth was, I loved medicine, but I hated working under my father. At times, there were perks, however, I felt like I needed to branch out on my own. That was my original intention in moving to Forks. To make my own name, but I was followed. I ultimately knew that if I went back to the hospital, I would be miserable, and I didn't want to be miserable anymore.

I had no idea where my life was going from that moment on, but I knew it would revolve around Bella and Nathan in whatever capacity I could hold. I had no idea where my career was going, either, but I knew I had enough money to never work again if I wanted to...if it came to that. Bella asked her questions, nodded, but didn't press for more. She had told me before that she wanted actions, not words, so I wasn't surprised when she took what I had to say at face value and walked away. Of course, she also made me swear never to go catatonic on her again.

* * *

That day lead to a massive shift in my relationship with Bella. We both seemed to become even more relaxed than we were before. We could joke around without fearing that we'd offend the other, while we also still sat down for serious or thoughtful conversations a few nights a week. We assigned Saturday afternoon's to be family time since Nathan was now back in school. Sunday was a lazy day filled with sleeping in, late brunches, and light housework.

Now that Nathan was in school, Bella started working on a new novel, and I sorta just sat around. Well, that wasn't exactly accurate, I had actually started writing myself. I was by no means an author, but it helped me work through my problems, and it was in addition to the notebook I was keeping up with for Dr. Devon.

Nathan thrived once he was back in school. His sessions with Dr. Banner went down from twice a week to once a week, and Jimmy had not returned since Christmas Eve. His grades were high, he quickly reformed the bonds of his friendships, and had already began pestering Bella and I about the birthday party he was owed. After much thought, he decided he wanted to host a pool party instead of the bowling alley, which meant waiting for the summer. We told him we could host an end of school gathering at Bella's house, complete with a pool and blow up water slides, but it meant waiting a few more months. Nathan wasn't thrilled about the wait, but had already called Alice to inform her that he would need help planning.

The day after he called Alice, she showed up with books, magazines, and print outs of everything known to man for planning a pool party. I left that stuff to Bella, Alice, and Nathan. However, I felt horrible for Bella, who wasn't just planning the be all, end all of pool parties, but also Rosalie's baby shower. Her due date was fast approaching, and Bella wanted it to be perfect for her. So, I tried to help out as best as I could.

With life going as well as it had, I knew it would only be a matter of time before life handed us lemons again, only instead time, it would be Bella making the lemonade.

* * *

"Dad, we're here," Bella called out as she opened up Charlie's front door.

Charlie had invited the three of us to his house for the fish fry he had promised Nathan over Christmas. Since their first fishing trip, Nathan has been out a few more times with Charlie. Jacob had been absent each time, but judging by the vehicles parked outside of Charlie's house, we'd realized he'd invited more than just us.

"In the kitchen," Charlie answered back. Sizzling sounds could be heard from inside the kitchen and thoughts of Charlie burning down his house filled my head.

Bella immediately walked in and took over the cooking. Charlie swore he had it all under control, while his friend Billy laughed at him.

"I didn't know you were having company," Bella hedged after she cleared the smoke out of the kitchen.

"Oh, um..." Charlie stuttered, but his friend saved him.

"He didn't invite us, we came over to drop off the fish fry and we invited ourselves, sorry." Billy sounded sincere, but I wasn't buying it. Judging by Bella's eye roll, she wasn't either.

_"How did it go?" I asked after Bella came in from the kitchen. She had just gotten off the phone with Charlie, and their discussion was heated. However, I expected that after what Nathan had told us at dinner. Neither one of us, were happy with the behavior Jacob displayed earlier that day._

_"You heard?" she gasped, and her shoulder's tensed. _

_"Only enough to know you were obviously upset, but not really what you were saying," I replied. _

_Bella immediately relaxed as I furrowed my brow at her. _

_"So, is everything okay?" I asked again. _

_"Oh yeah, sorry, um, I was talking to my dad. I told him if he wanted to take Nathan out anymore, I didn't want Jacob there unless you were, too." She waved her hands around dismissively. _

_"Me? Um, you do realize Jacob wanted you to go fishing, right?" I joked. _

_As if on cue, she death glared me. _

_"He may wish it all he wants, but I don't fish," she stated with enough conviction to make me laugh. "What? Can you really see me fishing? Besides, Jacob's chances are dismal at best, I don't understand why he couldn't just accept a no." Bella tilted her head and our eyes locked._

_1...2...3..._

_"Let me guess?" she started. "You eavesdropped on that conversation, too?"_

_I nodded meekly. _

_"Go figure," she sighed in frustration. _

_"I'm sorry, I was worried, and I would say I didn't mean to, but that would be a lie," I admitted. _

_"Thank you, um, for your honesty," she spoke. "Then you know he's already asked me out once, and I turned him down. My dad claims he just wants to see me happy, and is convinced Jacob could do that, however, I think he'll back off now."_

_"Does he do this a lot?" I asked. " I mean, like, set you up?"_

_"No, never, actually. He's always thought I should find someone, but he's never been so...invasive about it before, but Jacob is a family friend. Doesn't matter, anyways, he's not my type." She shrugged her shoulders. _

_"And what is your type, exactly?" I asked jokingly...at least, it was meant jokingly. _

_Bella quickly stood up and smacked me on my shoulder before walking off. I heard her mutter, "Wouldn't you like to know?" as she walked off. _

That was the last time we spoke about Jacob.

"Hey, Nathan," I heard Jacob's voice call from behind me breaking me from my thoughts.

"Hi," Nathan muttered and raise his hand in a half wave.

"Edward." He nodded his head towards me and I nodded mine back.

_Nathan had spoken up about his trip with Charlie to Dr. Banner at his next session. _

_"Nathan, how was your fishing trip? I understand you went with your Papa?" Dr. Banner asked as they sat down to play. _

_"It was okay." He shrugged, and his face fell a bit._

_"You don't sound very excited? I thought you'd told me you liked to fish with your Papa," Dr. Banner lightly pushed Nathan to get him to talk. _

_"I do," he pipped up. "At least, I did. He invited Jacob with us, and it was different."_

_"How so?" Dr. Banner questioned. _

_"He didn't really fish. He had like, a pole and stuff, but when I laid down he started talking to Papa Charlie about my mom." Nathan's face fell again, and he looked pained. "He, um, told him, that he asked her out and she said no, but he was going to fix that. It made me uncomfortable."_

_"What exactly made you uncomfortable?" Dr. Banner pushed more. _

_"Just, like, the way he talked about her. Like he knew she said no, so I don't understand what there is to fix. No means no, right?" Nathan's face looked so innocent it would be laughable if he didn't sound so confused. _

_"Adult relationships are complicated, Nathan. Sometimes, adults like to think they can talk their way into acceptance. Does that make sense?" Dr. Banner asked. _

_"I guess, but I hated him asking me questions about her. He's not the first guy to do it, and it made me not like him even more," Nathan explained further. _

_"Did you tell your mom or your dad? Or even your Papa Charlie?" Dr. Banner looked pointedly at Nathan. _

_"Um, I told mom and dad that night, and no, I didn't tell Papa Charlie," Nathan answered. _

_"Why not your papa?" Dr. Banner wanted to know. _

_"I don't know, I felt weird, like, if I would have said something, Jacob would have heard," he replied cautiously. _

Their session moved on normally after that, and Dr. Banner explained that he was surprised Nathan regarded Jacob with hate. Normally a child in Nathan's position would worship and view Jacob as a hero, because he is the one who saved him. However, he wagered a guess that because Nathan was in a coma when he was found, and didn't really meet Jacob until he woke up, that may have lead to the reason. He also noted that he felt Nathan's need and want to couple Bella and I was also showing through in his characterization of Jacob, as he quickly labeled him as a threat to me.

Movement behind me broke me out of my thoughts once again, and I noticed it was Charlie this time.

"Edward, how are you?" Charlie asked out of nowhere.

My attention snapped towards him and I was taken back by his question.

"Good, and you," I managed to answer without displaying the shock I felt.

"Still not going back to work?" he asked. "I heard they can't get anyone new in, and a lot of people are driving to Port Angeles now to see a doctor."

"If my dad would hire someone else it wouldn't happen, but he stubbornly thinks I'm coming back," I replied.

"Why aren't you?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Not the place for me anymore," I answered and hoped he would drop it.

"What about you, Jake? You still working at the shop," he asked and alarms in my head went off.

Was he really about to compare Jacob and my's careers? Should I pull out my financial documents, 401K, and old tax papers to show my worth? _I thought bitterly._

"Yeah, it's good, I'm likely to get a promotion next month," he beamed. His smile aimed at Bella.

"That's great," she mocked enthusiasm. "Congratulations."

Bella whipped around quickly towards the food and didn't turn around to join in our conversation until we were seated at the table.

"So, Bells, how is the new book coming along?" Charlie asked after we'd all taken a seat at the table.

"It's going alright." She shrugged her shoulders. I knew for a fact she was suffering from writer's block that was making her literally bang her head on her desk multiple times a day.

"That's good to hear," he replied unfazed by the blatant look of discomfort on Bella's face.

"So, what are you doing for Easter, Bella? I know it's a ways off, but I figured you skip Valentine's Day." Jacob asked out of nowhere. Everyone's attention immediately snapped to him.

"I didn't skip Valentine's Day, my boys took me to dinner in Port Angeles actually, and, Easter, oh, um, I don't know. We normally do the egg hunt, and a small family dinner at home," Bella said thoughtfully. "What tradition does your family have?"

"Well, we don't really do anything for Easter, not since I was a kid, and my mother was alive," Jacob said with a sulken face.

"That's sad, I'm sorry about your mom. Maybe you and your dad can do dinner together, or something," she said dismissively.

"Are you inviting me over again this year, kiddo?" Charlie redirected the question back at himself.

"Sure, if you want to. I figured I would have some of Edward's family over, too," she answered. Bella had begun biting the inside of her lip which revealed her frustration. "Rosalie is due with her baby really soon, and I doubt she is going to be up for cooking, so they'll come over for sure. Alice and Jasper will be invited, and I don't see why they wouldn't. I don't know about Carlisle, just depends on his work schedule," Bella further explained to everyone.

Nathan was all too quiet during dinner, and I knew from the second he saw Jacob, he wasn't relaxed. My first fear was we'd see the return of Jimmy. He always came out when Nathan was over stressed, and based on body language alone, it appeared that Nathan was on guard. Even when Charlie tried joking around with him, he remained tense.

"You know, they always say the more the merrier, maybe I could come over and..." Jacob was never able to finish his statement because in unison Bella and Nathan's forks both clattered to their plates. Mine remained mid-air as I watched my son explode.

"What part of NO don't you get? My mom doesn't want you, stop trying to invade MY family!" Nathan screamed and stormed off.

Bella sat shell shocked for a second before she moved to get him, but I held my hand out.

"Let me," I announced before rushing off to Nathan's side.

I found him outside on the front step.

He didn't say anything until after I sat down next to him.

"He's just like the rest," Nathan sighed. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm not, and what do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"He's not the first guy to try and date Mom, ya know." He sounded dejected. "Tony, he was the first one. Mom met him through her agent woman person, I thought he actually liked me, but then I realized he was only talking to me so Mom would notice. Once she said no to him, he stopped talking to me. I started watching out for it after him and there were more...lots more."

"Does your mom know this?" I pushed.

"I dunno...I mean, she's never said yes, so I just...I don't get it. He told Papa Charlie she said no, but he doesn't listen, I don't understand. Mom always says no means no. Why doesn't it now?"

"Son, you have a lot to learn about girls, but we'll save that talk for when you're thirty. Just know, your mom can handle herself, and if you feel this way, she deserves to know. She and I can't protect you if we don't know, okay?" I wrapped my arm around him and hugged him.

Bella's voice could be heard from the front of the house, and I immediately jumped up. Although I believed my words when I told Nathan that Bella could protect herself, it didn't mean I wouldn't stand up for her.

I walked Nathan back into the house and to the dining room table. I instructed him that he was to eat with Charlie and Billy, and that me and Bella would be back inside to get him soon. I didn't know if he'd actually eat, but it was the only diversion I had at the time.

Bella's arms were flying in front of her as she laid into Jacob about a hundred feet from the backdoor. I doubted that she would realize how loud she was, but I stayed out of sight to listen.

"Jacob, I understand, but what I don't understand is why you'd think I'd be interested. I said no!" she huffed.

"Your dad said..." Jacob's voice trailed off.

"My dad is still trying to set you up with me?" she asked incredulously.

"Well, no, not exactly, it's just he explained your past, and said you needed a good man, a better man, and..." Jacob stopped talking as Bella's face turned purple.

"First off, I don't need a man...any man! Second, I especially would not date a man who uses my son to get information about me! Do you understand how much you hurt him? He was so excited to go fishing and came back looking crushed! How dare you, on what planet did you think that was okay?"

Jacob interrupted her, "I never, I..."

"So you're calling my son a liar?" Bella raged. "I'll have you know..."

"No, it's not that, fuck, it's just, I thought I had a chance, but I see now that I don't and..." Jacob's backpedaling was rather entertaining.

"You're damn right you don't," Bella seethed.

"Exactly!" Jacob answered. "See, we're on the same page now. I obviously don't if you're into Edward, and I'm sorry, your dad said you and Edward weren't together anymore, if I had know, I wouldn't have..."

"We're not together," Bella answered. "Why would you think we're together?" I heard myself sigh. The shock in Bella's voice sent my heart plummeting. I knew, logically, she didn't see me as anymore than the father of her son, but I still held out hope with the direction we had been heading. Her words shattered any dreams of that.

"You're obviously together," Jacob refuted.

"Um, I think I know my relationship statuses. Edward is Nathan's father, nothing more," she shot back.

"I don't believe you, I can see it in the way you look at him, but judging by what your dad said..." Jacob kept talking.

"I don't care who said what, there is nothing going on between me and Edward!" Bella hollered.

"Well, if that's the case." Jacob took a step towards Bella and, in a blink, kissed her. Bella immediately stepped back, but not far enough, as his lips crashed onto hers. She immediately struggled as I took off in their direction running as fast as I could.

I reached Jacob's shoulder right as he was about to pull back. I pulled with all of my rage and slammed him onto the dirt ground.

"Don't you dare touch her!" I raged at his fallen body. "If you ever touch her again, so help me God, I will end you!"

"Like you're one to talk." Jacob jumped up and got in my face. "Maybe if you didn't ruin her, she'd be willing to give a real man a try! Your dad was right...fuck, why did I even bother, you're wor..."

Without thinking my arm swung and my knuckled connected with Jacob's cheek.

Bella started screaming at me to back away, but I saw red.

_How dare he insult Bella like that! She was not ruined!_

The temporary haze I was experiencing began to dissipate, and I felt Bella tugging on my arm.

"Please, Edward...Nathan," she cried and my attention immediately focused on her.

She was right. We needed to get Nathan and go home.

"Bells...Bells..." Charlie called out as Bella began ushering Nathan out.

"Not now," she muttered back, clearly not ready to talk to him yet.

"But, Bells, I swear..." he tried in vain to explain, but Bella put Nathan's hand in mind and pushed us towards the door.

"You promised," she seethed, before whipping around to walk out of the front door.

Nathan didn't say a word as we left, but he waved at Charlie who stood on the porch stunned by the events of dinner.

I wouldn't have been surprised if he showed up later to arrest me for assault, but it would still have been worth it. He never did come, though, but he did try to call. All of which, Bella ignored.

When we got back home, the only thing Nathan asked was if it was still a guys day out the next day. I could tell Bella wanted to call it all off, but Rosalie's baby shower was already planned, and Bella was hosting it at her house. Emmett, Jasper, Nathan, and I were all going to the bowling alley for the day. Charlie had been invited, and was attending, until now. I didn't think he would show, and honestly, I didn't want him to. Not after tonight.

That night, after Nathan finally went to sleep, Bella and I sat in the living room and talked.

* * *

"How much did you hear?" she asked first. Anxiety was written all over her face.

"Enough," I answered. I wasn't sure how much I'd missed, but I heard enough to hear Jacob question her feelings for me.

"I've never...um, never seen you that angry before." Bella sounded pensive.

"I've never seen a man try and force himself on you, either." I reached over to take her hand in mine. Unlike previous times when I've done the same gesture, she pulled away. Almost acting as if my fingers had burnt her. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be, it's just...my life, it was so...so normal," she started. "I knew who I was, where I was going, and I know it wasn't perfect, but I accepted it. And then, it all changed, and now I don't know how to feel."

"Why don't you start at the beginning," I pushed gently. I wanted Bella to open up to me, to let me help her...she was always there for me, and now it was my turn.

"Edward," she looked up at me as she spoke. "Everyday I lived my life, and I was happy. I was happy for our son, my house, my career, my success, and even though I didn't get a fairytale dream, it didn't matter. I feel like from the second you moved in, everyone has been sitting around waiting for me to pronounce my undying love for you, that I've been sitting and waiting for you to one day return, and when I did, you'd sweep me off my feet, and we'd live happily ever after.

"The truth...the truth is, I haven't. When I broke up with you, I didn't want to, but I knew I had no other choice. I couldn't live the life that was in front of me, because I didn't trust you. I couldn't be with someone I didn't trust. I watched what your mother's words did to you, how you changed, and I saw the life I'd be given. She would always be there, always haunting me, and we'd never be happy. I did us a favor by leaving, because we would have been miserable. Probably more miserable than you were with Tanya, but I wasn't miserable.

"Sure, I didn't date, but I didn't want to. My mom did that, the ever revolving door of boyfriends, and I never wanted that for Nathan. I never met anyone that made me want to take that risk. I wasn't celibate, but that's not something I'm discussing now, either. But now, it's almost a decade later, and so much has changed.

"We're more like a family now than we ever were before, and I know how you feel, and I want to feel it to, but I can't. I trust you with my house, with my memories, with our son, but I still can't trust you with my heart. Everyday I know we're getting closer to you moving out, and I honestly don't want that, but it's selfish of me to ask you to stay. And it confuses me. But I also don't know how to trust you, because for every second I feel like maybe, just maybe, I remember what happened the second I met your family. How could I let you in, get close to you, and then what...it all gets ripped away the second your mom walks in armed with a sob story? We know she's out there, and she will show up...eventually." Bella's voice was a mix of cries and pleads.

"Bella, you have to know..." I started. "God, you have to know, if she walks in tomorrow..."

"You can't say that...you don't know what you'll do. I never thought you'd abandon me in a hotel room for almost a day the second your family expressed their disapproval, so don't lie and tell me what you would do, because you won't know until she's here," she barked. "And then once she's done crying and telling her story, I'm back to my now non-normal life with a little boy who's going to be crushed all over again!"

"Do you really think so little of me?" I gasped. "That I would spend so much time rebuilding my relationship with Nathan, for what, to throw it away again? That I would want to hurt him?" I stared at her in wonder. I knew I had no chance with Bella, but for her to question my relationship with Nathan, after she's watched me pour myself into therapy, time with him, reassuring him...she may as well of cut my heart out and stomped on it.

"I don't know what to think," she sobbed.

"Bella, when it came to you, I fucked up. It wasn't just a small screw up that would go away with some cheesy flowers and some chocolate, it was monumental. I know that...fuck, I even knew it then, but I realized I was too late. What was done was done, and you've expressed no interest in trying to go back there, so fine. I hate that I will forever look back and know what could have been, but I can't make you want me!

"However, for you to launch an attack of me over Nathan is not something I'll stand for. I have not been the perfect father, and I will be the first person to admit that. Everyday you watch me interact and talk to him, play with him, help him, guide him, and you really think that I'd just abandon him again? Never! I would rather die than go back to the place I was in before. I wasn't living, and I'm not even sure I knew how to, but I know now, and I won't go back." Every word I said, every word was spoken with as much conviction as I felt. Bella never moved to interrupt me or anything, she just sat and listened.

"I don't know what to say," she admitted quietly.

"You're angry with me?" I asked. It made logical sense, at least in my head, when I put all the pieces together. Her body language, her words, and her behavior all lead me to one conclusion...she was mad at me.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Do you want me to leave?" I questioned.

"No," she snapped.

"Were you angry at me before we went to your dad's house?" I asked my final question of the night.

She shook her head no, and I knew it was Jacob who had set her off. I wasn't exactly sure why, but I knew I needed to take a step back and let Bella handle her own emotions. My dad had asked who Bella was seeing the last time we talked, and when I had said no one, he was shocked. I made a mental note to broach the subject on a later day, when Bella didn't hate me so much.

After a few minutes Bella wordlessly stood up and went to her room. I followed shortly after, feeling far less optimistic than I had been in a while. I knew my relationship with Bella was still heavily damaged, but I was starting to see how much she was holding in. If we continued down that path, it would get us nowhere.

Sadly, what nobody realized, though, was Bella's worst nightmare was about to come knocking on her front door.

* * *

**So, next update before NEXT Friday...as in Jan 21st. I normally don't make ya'll wait that long, but just in case, that's the update by date. Right now I'm working on an outtake for the Fandom Against Domestic Violence that will be Edward and Bella at the cafe a few days after the one-night stand. Once that is done, I'll hit the Esme chapter hard and heavy. There are already teasers out for that chapter on the Fictionator's Blog and Pic Tease blog! I'll tweet updates about it too. SammieLynnsMom**

**My contest is now up and running, feel free to check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~pickyourownadventurecontest

**My Weekly Rec: My Perfect Mr Imperfect by xrxdanixrx It's amazing, and angsty, and sometimes makes me ragey, but that is why I love it so! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6311046/1/My_Perfect_Mr_Imperfect


	21. Chapter 20

**Thank you so much for the amazing response to Chapter 19! I know more questions have come up, and I promise they'll all be answered in time! I won't bog you down though-without further delay...cue Esme!  
**

**Thank you to kas90, morethanmyself, devonmaid, and jadmama for helping with this chapter!**

**I don't own Twilight, I will never claim to own Twilight, and I swear I will never try to publish this story, after only changing the names of the Twilight cast it originated with ;)  
**

* * *

As the light hit my eyes, I turned my head and pushed my face deeper into the pillow. I knew it was almost time for me to wake up and get moving, but after the night I had before I didn't want to. My muscles ached as I stretched, but I remained in bed. Thoughts of my argument with Bella swirled in my head. I knew the first thing I needed to do was find her and apologize. It was not fair to yell at her, and even though I hated to admit it, I understood her thoughts and fears.

My relationship with Bella had always been unorthodox. Even our time in college was strange because of how well we transferred from two college students to a family unit. However, I still constantly racked my brain daily for clues, outside of my families influence, that would have caused me to have so many preconceived notions about her. At the time, my mother's words all made perfect sense, but, now that it'd been nearly a decade, it had become glaringly obvious how wrong I was.

_"When did you know?" Dr. Devon asked. _

_"When did I know what?" I clarified. We had only recently started talking about Bella and my relationship, so I wasn't sure exactly what he meant._

_"When did you know Bella wasn't the gold-digger your mom accused her of being?" he clarified his question for me. _

_"Right around the time she broke up with me. Once she handed all the money back, and then left me, without a second thought of letting me explain anything," I answered. It didn't even take me a second to remember the memory. I knew, at that moment, I had been wrong. "That was a pretty telling sign."_

_"When was the first time you realized she wasn't who you thought she was?" he then asked. _

_"Isn't that the same question?" I asked, but he shook his head no. _

_"No, I want to know when you actually realized she wasn't anything like the idea you had in your head." _

_Once he clarified the question, I sat and thought for a second. _

_"When she was starving herself because of Nathan. When I found out that instead of coming and asking me for help, or hell, even for dinner," I huffed. "She was wasting away and getting by on $20 worth of food a month it seemed. I wanted to help...hell, I wanted to do anything I could to help, but she wouldn't let me." _

_"Why do you think that was? Why do you think Bella chose to starve than turn to you?" he pushed, and I started to become angry. I was angry at him for asking, angry at Bella for her pride, but angry at myself, because I knew it was my fault. _

_"Because I called her a gold-digger to her face," I sighed and slammed my head onto the table. _

_When I looked back, I thought I knew those things then, but I was too concerned with being perfect that I chose not to stand up for myself. I could remember thinking about how gorgeous Bella looked while she was pregnant, how funny she was when we had talked, how our conversations would flow seamlessly, yet, I ruined it all. Now, almost a decade later, I was ruining it all again. _

_I heard a knock at the door and silently prayed it was Bella. I rolled out of bed, threw on a t-shirt, and made my way to the door. Who I found was my sleepy eyed eight year old with a goofy grin on his face. _

_"Good morning, Nathan," I yawned. _

_"Get ready, today's boys-day-out, remember?" he asked. His body bounced, but his eyes looked barely open, and it made me laugh. _

_"I remembered, just let me get dressed, okay?" I asked, and he nodded. "Is your mom making breakfast?" _

_"Um, no, she said cereal this morning," he replied with a resigned look on his face. "Mom's upset and has been on the phone all morning."_

_"Oh," I said blankly and shut the door. _

_Bella was upset? _

_Was she upset about last night, too? _

I knew we left on bad terms, but if Bella was upset enough to let Nathan see her, I needed to get to her.

In lightning speed, I had my teeth brushed, hair combed, and clothes on. I was spending the day with Nathan, my brother, and Jasper, at a bowling alley, so I went with a simple blue polo and jeans.

When I got out to the kitchen, I saw Nathan seated at the table with a bowl of Lucky Charms, while Bella remained at the far corner with the phone. Her face showed signs of distress, and her eyes had tears in them. When she noticed me enter the room, I barely got a glance as I moved to pour myself a bowl of cereal. I was biding my time for her to hang up so I could pull her aside and apologize.

I exaggerated the time it took to pour both the cereal and milk, hoping she'd hang up before I even sat down. Sadly, I made it through my bowl before she moved to get off the phone, and, despite my bests efforts, I didn't catch any of her conversation.

I heard the phone beep off, and I immediately stood up. Bella attempted to briskly walk past me, but I grabbed her arm.

"Hey, can we talk?" I asked quietly. Nathan was still in the room, and I didn't want him to know what had transpired the night before.

"Not now, Angela's been in a car accident, and..." she started, but I quickly cut her off.

"Oh my God," I gasped. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine, it was minor, but she was coming in from Port Angeles with the cake, that is now destroyed, and a bug has been going around the school, so Lauren is sick, and things are just falling apart," Bella rushed, but I continued to hold her arm.

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked genuinely.

"No, no, just take Nathan, have your day. Alice is on her way over, and we'll figure everything out, I just want this day to be perfect for Rosalie, she deserves a perfect baby shower, and I have to go." Bella wiggled her arm from my grasp and headed for the door my sister was currently standing behind.

"The perfect baby shower," I sighed when she was out of range for hearing.

"_Awww, thank you," Bella smiled at Hannah as she held up a baseball outfit for everyone to see. _

_Bella's baby shower was thrown by our friends at school. Her roommate, Jessica, was the host, and even though I wasn't invited, I managed to arrive a little earlier than I was expected so that I could help get everything to Bella's new apartment. _

_Jessica used the common area of their old dorm and decorated with with ducks, blue streams and balloons. It was a simple affair with appetizer type food, a cake, and presents. _

_Alice had called me about a month before it was scheduled and asked if Bella would fly back to my hometown so my family could throw her one. She told me she felt bad for the way they reacted and wanted to show her their support. When I broached the topic with Bella, she immediately shot me down. After pushing a little more, and waiting about a week, I called Alice and told her it was not an option. She said she was hurt, but she understood. She then pushed for me to come alone, and I ended up laughing her off the phone. The mere idea of having a baby shower for me was, in my opinion, stupid. _

_I stood near the doorway as Bella opened up the last few gifts. All of the girls in the room gushed over the small clothes, socks, and toys they had all bought for baby Nathan. Bella's face was glowing as she said 'thank you' at least a million times and stared at each item for a few seconds longer than normal. It was easy to see that Bella was truly happy for all the support our friends was showing. _

_I heard a commotion in the hallway and stepped out to figure out what the fuss was about. Nothing could prepare me for the sight I saw as I watched my mother barrel down the hallway with a huge gift bag, balloons, and a box wrapped in baby paper. _

_"What are you doing here?" I asked as soon as I reached her. _

_"Well," she screeched. "If that girl isn't going to let us throw her a shower, I thought I'd bring it to her. I found out she's having one here, so I'm here to celebrate my grandson." Her eyes were dilated, her breathe reeked, and she was slurring...my mother was drunk. _

_"I don't think this is appropriate," I started, but she shoved past me. Before I reached back up to her, she was in the doorway. I came up behind her and saw Bella's astonished face. _

_"Happy baby shower," my mother slurred. "Since you're too good for us, you whore, I thought I'd bring you your presents, since that is all you wanted my son for." _

_I stood shell shocked as the insults rolled out of my mother's mouth. Jessica immediately jumped up and started screaming at my mom. A verbal cat fight unfolded before my eyes as insults flew from both side. _

_"That whore..."_

_"You bitch, how dare you show up here..."_

_"She trapped him..."_

_"You're insane, drunk, and insane!"_

_"Did she follow him? Did she knows his schedule? What he liked?"_

_Security showed up shortly after and my mother was escorted off the campus. _

_The majority of the girls began to dissipate as I took in the scene around me. In the midst of the screaming presents were haphazardly throw about, the mess of presents my mom brought spilled out on the middle of the floor, empty cups littered the room, while Bella's cake sat untouched on the table. _

_Jessica, and another red-head I didn't recognize, began cleaning up as Bella moved to help them. I took a step in, and followed suit, but Bella quickly moved to where I stood. _

_"I think you should leave," she said evenly._

_"Bella, I didn't know..." I tried explaining, but she shook her head. _

_"Please, leave," she gritted out through her teeth. _

_I sighed and set down the articles of trash I had already picked up. _

_I turned to leave, but couldn't get out of the room before hearing my name called out by Jessica. _

_"Edward, be a doll, and take that trash with you," Jessica said sweetly as she pointed to the mess of presents my mom had left. _

_"You don't..." I started, but Bella didn't answer. _

_"I'm pretty sure Bella thinks those belong at your place," Jessica replied. _

_I nodded, collected the presents, and left. _

"Edward," Alice practically yelled at me before I blinked my eyes at her.

"God, where did you go? Nathan is ready to leave, and I called Jasper, he's with Emmett now waiting on you two," she explained.

"Oh, um, just remembered less than happier times," I answered as I took a step around her.

"Nathan," I called out when I didn't see him at the door.

"I'm here," he called from behind me.

I walked up to Bella who was sitting on the couch looking at some list on a paper.

"We're leaving now, call if you need anything," I spoke aloud.

"Okay," she dismissed me without a second thought.

"We will talk later," I lowered my voice.

She sighed and nodded before I left with Nathan in toe.

* * *

"Daddy, are you a good bowler?" Nathan asked from the backseat.

"Probably not, it's been a while," I replied as I turned into the parking lot.

Jasper and Emmett were standing outside waiting for us as we pulled in.

"Uncle Emmett," Nathan cheered the second he got out of the car.

"Hey," Jasper whined, obviously not feeling the love from Nathan. Hell, Emmett got a better reaction than I got most days.

"Sorry, Uncle Jazzy." Nathan smiled sweetly.

"Did your aunt put you up to that?" he asked.

Nathan's smile turned to a smirk as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Come on, boy, it's time to bowl!" Emmett announced as he put his hand on Nathan's shoulder. They walked in while Jasper and I followed.

"Well, I'm happy to see you," I joked.

"Thanks, man." Jasper rolled his eyes at me.

After getting set up with our lane, shoes, and some snacks, we started our game. First, it was every man, or boy, for himself. Then, it was teams. Emmett, of course, grabbed Nathan and managed to beat Jasper and I, with no small margin. It was sad, really, but it gave Jasper and me a chance to talk.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked as he came to sit down next to me. Nathan was currently taking on Emmett for the title of "Best Bowler in All of Forks," and I was out of the race.

I shook my head, but Jasper's face turned into an incredulous look. He wasn't buying it.

"Bella?" The way he said her name made my heart ache. I couldn't believe the show down we had been in the night before, and, what was worse, was she was too busy to talk to me this morning. Granted, I understood that she wasn't ignoring me on purpose, but I regretted leaving the house without her realizing how sorry I was.

"We, um, had an argument last night," I whispered.

"You don't say," he replied sarcastically. "What happened?"

"Well, we went to dinner at her dad's house. I guess her dad is trying to set her up with Jacob, and has for a while, and it all came to a head. Nathan yelled at Jacob at the table then took off. I went after him, and Bella took Jacob out back to talk to him. I calmed Nate down, and then I heard Bella screaming, so I went to check on her. Bella and Jacob were talking out back and then...fuck, dude, he just kissed her. Like, with Bella pushing him away, and he didn't, so I punched him. Then we left."

"You punched him?" Jasper gasped, stunned.

"Um, yeah, he tried to push himself on Bella, and I couldn't just stand there," I explained my excuse.

"Okay, go on," Jasper instructed.

"Well, we got Nathan settled at home and to bed, and we started to talk. Then, damn, I'm not even sure what went wrong. Bella started to talk about her feelings, and dude, she hates me." I fought the urge to slam my head onto the table.

"She actually said she hated you?" Jasper questioned.

"No, not exactly. She said she trusted me with everything but her heart. I knew I didn't stand a chance with her again, but I want to. I want to go back in time and fix all of this, and I just wish there was a way to prove to her that this is real...that I'm real," I explained.

"She likes you," Jasper said evenly. My eyes snapped to him with a confused look on my face. "What? Look, I'm not saying that I've heard anything, I'm just saying it's not outside the realm of possibilities, okay?" he asked. "Bella needs to see you stand up for her, so continue to be there and hope it grows."

"Hope it grows?" I asked incredulously. "Why didn't I think of that?" I rolled my eyes and hit my hand on the table.

"Look, I've been in Bella's shoes, though. Esme didn't hate me quite as much, but it's not an easy place to be. Until Alice stood up for herself, I didn't know if we'd last, but we did, and I'm thankful for that, but even I needed to see that." Hearing Jasper be so honest about the start of his and Alice's relationship was comforting. I had always seen them as a perfect couple, with no fault, and I'd never heard otherwise. Knowing they had seen some effects because of my mom gave me hope. It was small, but it was hope.

"Um, Edward," Jasper snapped my attention to him. He nodded his head towards the door, so I swung my head in that direction. Charlie stood at the entrance, a nervous look on his face, as he seemed to scan the room. It was a Saturday, so it was relatively busy, but the second Charlie's eyes met mine, they stopped moving. I nodded my head as a signal for him to come over.

"Papa Charlie," Nathan yelled as soon as he saw him. "I didn't know you were coming! I'm kicking Uncle Emmett's butt!"

Charlie laughed.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Charlie apologized to Nathan. "You keep bowling, I'm just going to talk to your dad, okay?"

"Ya, gonna watch, right?" Nathan asked with hopeful eyes. Charlie's mouth turned up, and he nodded.

"I'll just give you some space," Jasper announced before walking over to the concession stand.

"Why don't we sit," I suggested as I motioned back to the table Jasper had just vacated.

"Alright," he answered and took a seat.

I wasn't sure why Charlie was here, and I'd be lying if I said I wanted him here. I didn't want any drastic changes, like him being cut off, but my fury was still new.

"Look," he started after a minute. "I'm not going to apologize for suggesting that Jacob try to take Bella out."

_Well, this is going well,_'I though.

"However, I will apologize for last night. What happened wasn't suppose to, and if I had known more was going on, well, I wouldn't have had them over," he finished.

"So, you admit to inviting them?" I asked.

"Yeah, I just wanted Bella to know she had options," he admitted.

"Options?" I raised my eyebrow at him. His statement confused me, in more ways then one.

"Don't act dense, boy," he scolded. "I can see you and Bella..." I cut him off right there.

"Look, you're now the third person to accuse me of having anything more than a platonic relationship with Bella. I don't. We don't." I was frustrated beyond words. First Jacob, then Jasper, and now Charlie. If I didn't have feelings for Bella, I wouldn't care, but the fact was, their accusations were a painful reminder of what I could never have.

"You really expect me to believe that? Between your eye glances, and what she said on the phone, I don't believe you," he replied cryptically.

"I don't know what glances you mean, other than Bella's obvious discomfort around Jacob, and I have no clue what Bella told you. I can tell you I'd love nothing more for Bella to agree to even a date with me, but she made it perfectly clear last night, along with several other nights, she will never see a future with me," I finished my rant and huffed.

"Dad, you okay?" Nathan asked as I finally realized how close he was to me.

"Yeah, just tired," I brushed him off. "I didn't sleep well last night." I faked yawned for a dramatic effect.

"We can go home," he offered with a sad smile, but I shook my head no.

"Yeah, Edward, you should go home, but I'm keeping Nathan," Emmett announced.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You go home, the shower should be about over, anyway, and I'll bring Nathan back later. More bowling?" He asked and looked down at Nathan whose face had lit up.

"You're on!" Nathan yelled before running back to the lane.

"Em?" I questioned.

"The shower should be over within the next hour. You show up, offer to help get the presents into Rose's SUV, clean up, and show off the guests. We'll keep Nathan for a while, and you'll have time to sit down and talk to Bella without fear of Nathan overhearing, because, dude, that was close." Emmett's plan seemed ingenious, and he had a point about talking to Bella without the fear of distraction.

"He's right," Charlie interrupted. "You and Bella obviously need to talk, I'll stick around and challenge Nathan to a game. It'll keep him occupied for a while longer."

"What am I going to look like to Nathan, though? He's going to think I'm jumping out on him again," I pointed out.

"Nah, we won't keep him that long, besides, he'll be home tonight, and you and Bella obviously need to get on the same page," Emmett countered.

"Fine," I replied and stood up. I walked over to Nathan, told him I loved him, and that I'd see him in a bit. I explained that I was going to help clean up the house, so he knew I would be home. Me leaving didn't even seem to phase him, and I wasn't sure if that should make me happy or sad.

On the way out, I thought for sure I heard Emmett joking about how I'd have the car loaded by the time he got there, so he wouldn't have to. I rolled my eyes as I got into my car and drove off.

* * *

As I drove down the street, I noticed the amount of cars I had expected to be in front of Bella's house weren't there. Bella's car was inside the garage, and I noticed Rosalie's SUV parked on the curb, and an unknown black Mercedes in the driveway behind Bella's car. Alice's car was on the other side of the road.

I racked my brain for any reason why the street wasn't lined with cars still celebrating Rosalie and Emmett's new baby-to-be. The party was suppose to start an hour ago, and I remembered how long Bella's had lasted, so there was no way they were done by now. When Emmett suggested I leave the bowling alley, we had both figured they'd still be another hour or so.

I pulled up to the curb and parked behind Rosalie's silver Honda CR-V and quietly stalked up to the front door.

Before I hit the front path leading to Bella's doorway, I heard the inside garage door open and close. I paused for a second, and my heart plummeted when I saw Rosalie standing at the garage entrance.

Rosalie was always stunning, albeit not my type, but it was very obvious she put more into her appearance today. She wore a blue dress, with her hair curled, and make-up done nicely. Her shoulder strap held a button with ribbon curls exploding from the sides with bold text saying, "It's a Boy!". Today should be a happy day for her, but instead her eyes were puffy, her cheeks tear stained, and she was shaking.

After hesitating for a second too long, I immediately redirected my steps towards her.

"Rose, what's wrong?" I started to panic. "The baby?"

"No," she sniffled, tears still forming in her eyes. "Your mother," she whispered.

Before I could even think, I bolted past her and through the garage door. I had no idea why she was here, and frankly, I didn't care. It was time to handle her once and for all.

* * *

"Esme, calm down!" I heard Bella yell as I walked through the garage door.

I stayed quietly in the hallway hoping to catch a glimpse of exactly what I was walking into.

"Why won't you listen to me?" I heard the voice of my mother fill the room. They were all located in the living room still, while I was on the outside of the kitchen.

"Mom, I really think you should just leave," I heard Alice beg.

"No, I'm not leaving, not until you let me explain," my mother cried out. "Please, if I could just explain..."

"If I let you talk, then will you leave?" Bella's voice was laced with frustration.

Part of me wanted to jump out of hiding and handle her now, but the other part of me told me to sit and listen. I didn't know if she'd reveal 'her demons' if she knew I was present, and I needed to hear where she was coming from. I didn't think it would have affected my opinions, but I had still wanted to know.

"Yes," my mother agreed. "Now, sit down, both of you. Alice, you should hear this too.

"Growing up with my mother was a rather, um, difficult task. She had this, I don't know what you'd call it, way of thinking. Everything had to be done her way. You did what she said, you wore what she picked out, you talked to who she wanted you to talk to, she dated who she told you to date," she started.

I felt my stomach turn as I realized I could recite that as if it were my own story.

"In high school, I didn't have a lot of friends. I went to school with people who had money, and my dad had a deal go bad, and all of a sudden people stopped talking to me. That was my junior year. When I got to college, I finally felt freer...at least, freer than I was before.

"My freshman yea,r I met Derek. He was handsome, charming, and a perfect gentleman. He took me out on dates, never acted out of turn, but he didn't come from money. In other words, he had the wrong last name. I hid him from my family for fear of my mother's reaction. This went on for a few months, until I decided I wanted to take it to the next step.

"We used protection, but I got pregnant, anyways, and of course, I called my mom. She threw a fit, but insisted on meeting him. After she met him, she hated him. Turned out Derek was the son of one of the men my dad's business deal had hurt. They were so convinced he was after our money that my mom let me listen in on a conversation he was having with my dad."

I heard fake crying laced within her story, as I felt like such a fool for falling for the same tone many times before.

"My dad offered him a lump sum of money to disappear, and he took it. He didn't even hesitate, blink an eye, or anything, he took it and left. He didn't even glance at me on his way out. I was crushed, but that was when my dad had explained he confessed his plan. He wanted to conquer me and get me pregnant, knowing my parents would pay him to avoid a scandal." My mom's voice went silent, and I almost walked in, but I heard the garage door close quietly. I turned to see Rosalie watching me listen in. I could hear my mother sobbing, but instead of feeling sorry for her, I felt pity.

_This was why she hated Bella? This is the Earth shattering story that serves as a point to ruin the life I could have had? This was it?_

"What happened to the baby?" Alice's voice was small.

"Your grandmother made arrangements. I wanted to keep the baby full term and then give him or her up for adoption, but my mother explained it was best to take care of the problem. She didn't want the story to get out, and she swore if people knew they'd never speak to me again.

"So, Bella, I hope you understand now that, when Edward brought you home, I immediately had flashbacks of the past. I realize now that I was wrong, and I came here to ask for your forgiveness." My mom's voice sounded sickly sweet even to my ears. I couldn't tell if her story was real or not, but the tone she was using indicated she wasn't sincere.

Time clicked by slowly, and I reconsidered my standing spot several time. I was angry that I hadn't heard this story before and furious with myself for never asking. How could she be so cruel to Bella over this? I mean, I could understand being guarded, but after nine years...nine fucking years, she still thought of her the same way! How could I be so blind? Just as I was about to step out, Bella spoke up.

"Esme, although I appreciate your honesty, and I'm sorry for your past, I will never accept your apology," Bella stated evenly.

"What?" my mom sounded shocked, and her sniffling contrived.

"I understand that what you went through was life altering, and I'm sorry you were fooled, but that doesn't excuse the nine years of hate I've received. You stole any happiness Edward and I could have had together, and you deprived Nathan of any real family because of your prejudices.

"If that wasn't enough, you not only loved and accepted the woman who was responsible, but you even tried to help exonerate her. You will never see Nathan again, and after you leave my house today, you will never be welcomed in it again," Bella's voice was confident, and I knew there would be no standing against her. I admired how calm she was remaining, and I wished I had even an ounce of her tact.

"You have to be reasonable, he's my grandson!" my mother yelled.

"I don't care, you will never have my permission to see him again," Bella stated.

"I don't need your permission! I'll go to Edward, surely he'll see reason," she scoffed.

"Nathan is in my custody, and no, he can not override me," Bella corrected.

"Ha! Edward can and will take custody from you, as soon as I see him, we'll start the paperwork together." The tone of my mother's voice shocked me, and I felt Rose nudge me.

The sound of someone being slapped across their face stunned me for a second as I walked into the living room with a horrified look on my face.

Both women saw me enter, but with two different reactions. My mom looked victorious, while Bella looked defeated. She dropped the hand she'd just used to smack my mom with and hung her head, while her shoulders slumped over.

"Edward, darling," my mom immediately moved to hug me, but I side stepped her and walked closer to Bella.

"What are you doing here?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Celebrating my newest grandson, of course," she replied as if I was an idiot.

"I don't see anyone here," I observed. The room was devoid of any party, and it was eerily similar to what I saw after my mom crashed Bella's baby shower.

"No, well, there was a little trouble when I first got here, and people left, but it's time for Rosalie to come out and open her gifts. I got the baby the cutest little," my mom started to ramble as I turned around and walked immediately over to Bella.

"You're not staying, Esme," I heard Rosalie call out from the kitchen. She moved away from the wall with a fierce look on her face, a stark opposite to how she looked when I had first gotten here.

"Well, of course I am. You have gifts, and..." my mother trailed on, but Rosalie was not going to back down. "Edward, can't you explain to them..."

"Why are you here?" I asked after placing a single hand on Bella's shoulder. I wanted her to know that I was here for her...standing with her.

"Well, for the shower and to see you," she answered.

"Why did you come see me? Why not Alice or Emmett?" I pushed.

"Oh baby, as much as I miss your brother and sister, you've always been my favorite," she replied with a smile.

"Fuck you," Alice hollered from behind me before storming out the front door.

"I know that, but why now? You ruined Bella's baby shower and now you've ruined Rosalie's," I pointed out. "You could have chosen any other time, why now?"

"Look, I have something to tell you, and I think..." she tried to explain, but I wouldn't let her.

"I heard," I replied.

"You did?" she gasped. "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough," I answered. I noticed Bella's face turned towards me, and I gave her a small smile. Her face stayed blank, but I had hoped I was conveying the message that I wasn't angry with her.

"Then you know what that bitch did." The rate at which my mother's tone of voice changed caught me off guard, but didn't altogether surprise me.

"First, you will not call Bella a bitch. Bella is amazing, sincere, caring, giving, and every other amazing word I could use to describe her, but bitch is not one of them. Now, you, Mom are a bitch, and frankly, you deserved the slap, so I see nothing wrong with it," I spoke confidently. I felt Bella's body stiffen, but I continued to rest my hand on her shoulder. She had to know, regardless of what tomorrow brought, that I was here for her...with her...against anyone who opposed her.

"Edward, how could you fall for such a whore? Here I am, spilling my soul, and she won't even listen to reason," my mom pleaded with me to see her side. "What happened? I come back, and, let me guess, you're fucking the whore? That's just grand, I raised you better..."

"You raised me better? REALLY? You raised me to listen to ever word you said without question, you raised me to follow you and not my instincts, you raised me to be a follower, not a leader, you raised me to be nothing, and I am done being nothing! Your reasons are not good enough! And stop with the name calling! Bella is not a whore, she is not a bitch, she is not a gold-digger! Bella is an amazing woman who I lost my chance with because of you...you, because I fucking listened to you!" I roared as I dropped my hand from Bella's shoulder and took a step towards my mom.

"How could you lie to me? How could you make me believe that Bella was this horrible monster? Did you not want me happy?" I stalked closer to my mom who immediately took a step back. "I listened to you! I trusted you, for what? For this! You know Tanya is who tried to have Nathan killed, not Bella, Tanya! The woman you loved so very much, got a man to try to murder my son, and for what...money! I haven't put it all together yet, but you know what Nathan overheard, her talking about my will! She was talking about my will to the guy who did it, and you thought Bella was the gold digger!

"You stormed in here, you've ruined Rosalie's celebration, all to just have your story heard...well, I heard you! Loud and fucking clear. I heard a bitter old woman who still is a control freak, just like your own mother! You will never see Nathan again, and that is not up for negotiations, and as of today, you are dead to me! Now leave!" I barked as I pointed to the door.

"Edward, listen to me," she started, but I'd had enough.

"NO!" I yelled. "I am not listening to another fucking word out of your mouth! I have a house to clean, a son to pick up, and more important people to talk to. I'm done with you, Mom, as of today, you're no longer my mother. I want you gone, NOW!"

I walked to her, took her hand, and drug her to the door. I wasn't overly forceful, and I didn't hurt her, but I knew she wouldn't leave any other way. After shutting the door, I realized her purse was still on the couch so I grabbed it, and stormed back to the door.

"Oh, Edward, I knew..." she started hopefully when I opened the door just to throw her purse thrown at her and slam the door again.

I searched the room for Rosalie, but she was nowhere to be found. All that was left was Bella, who appeared rooted in place in the middle of the living room.

My body moved on it's own accord to be near her, but she just continued to stare into space.

"Bella?" I called out softly.

This was day two that she had seen me get angry, and I didn't want her to fear me.

Her head slowly rotated so she looked straight at me. Her face remained unreadable for about a minute, before she burst into tears.

"Bella?" I croaked. I didn't know what to do, or say...or anything.

Tears continued to pour down Bella's face as she fled to her bedroom, slamming the door as she went through.

I shook my head for a second and pulled out my cellphone. Nathan couldn't see this.

**-Mom crashed the party, come to Bella's house now, leave Nathan with Charlie, he can't see this!-**

I quickly texted Emmett's phone and hoped he would show up quickly. I knew Alice and Rosalie were still here somewhere, and I knew they'd need their husbands, and although I could try and comfort them temporarily, I needed to get to Bella.

I cautiously walked to her bedroom door and knocked. I could hear gentle sobs, but she didn't answer. Bella's room had remained the only place in the house I'd never gone. She never said it was off limits, but I never had a reason to enter.

I had silently debated in my head if I should have given her space or go in, and after a few minutes, I decided it was now or never...I was going in.

* * *

Bella's back was facing me as I creeped the door open. I saw her shoulder's continue to shake and sobs continue to echo off her walls. My heart broke at the sight, but inside I was lost. I had thought I had done what I was suppose to. I wanted to stand up to my mom, not just for me, but for Bella, too. It was nine years overdue, and of all the reactions Bella could have had, breaking down was not one of them.

I walked into the room, but she didn't even acknowledge my presence. When I finally came to stand in front of her, I sat down on the edge of the bed. Her eyes shifted up for a moment before snapping back down.

"Bella?" I spoke her name again.

"Why now?" she whispered. Her voice was soft, and she sounded so distraught.

"I don't understand," I explained.

"Nine years, Edward, nine years, why now?" Her eyes shifted back towards mine, and she looked so lost and fragile.

"Because I'm not blind anymore." It was a simple explanation, but I knew Bella understood what I meant when she nodded her head. Her hand slowly came out from her chest, and I immediately took it. If her hand was all she could give, I would take it, and be grateful. "I'm here, now."

"I don't know what I have left to give," she spoke softly.

"I don't want anymore than you can give," I replied honestly. The only thing I wanted was for her to be happy, and if I could make her happy, I wanted that chance. "Sleep now, Bella. I'll clean the house up, make sure everyone is okay, and handle Nathan."

"Nathan," Bella immediately shot up with a worried look.

"He's with your dad, relax, I texted Emmett, calm down," I put my hand on her shoulder as she relaxed back down to her pillow. "Sleep," I whispered before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. I couldn't imagine, or pretend to understand, the emotions going through her mind. What I did know was tomorrow I would broach the topic of therapy...but not now, she needed to rest.

The last thing I saw, before I closed her door, was her sleeping form and our latest family picture framed on her nightstand.

* * *

"Hey, man," Emmett said as soon as I got to the living room. "Is Bella okay?"

"Yeah, she's sleeping now. How is Rosalie?" I asked genuinely concerned for her and their son. I knew what stress could do to a pregnancy, and Rosalie was already high-risk.

"She'll be okay, she's in the garage with Alice. Listen, I wanted to leave Nate with Charlie, but he got an emergency call into work, so he's with Jasper at their house. I told him you needed extra help with the presents, and Jasper was going to order pizza and a movie, and that you'd get him later," Emmett rambled on. I could tell he was nervous, but I appreciated the effort he put into his story.

"No, that's fine, thank you." I put my hand on my face and rubbed my eyes. I couldn't believe how this day had turned out.

Thankfully, with the help of Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and myself, we had the house back to normal in only an hour. Rosalie was ordered to sit on the couch while we worked around her. The new cake that Bella had specially made that morning laid untouched along with the presents. When I asked the women for details, they just said everyone seemed to scatter when Esme showed up, so Rosalie would just have to write some amazing thank you notes. I peeked in on Bella a few times before everyone left.

I had received a call from Nathan just before five asking if it was okay for him to stay the night with Jasper and Alice. To be honest, I wanted to scream no into the phone, but he said Jasper opened up his game collection and he just wanted to hang out. I offered to go over there to pick him up later, but this time he told me not to worry. I finally relented, and Alice promised before leaving that she'd have him back in the morning. I made sure she knew I was a phone call away at any time.

After everyone left, I fixed myself a sandwich before checking on Bella again. Her body had shifted since the last time I'd check on her, and I noticed her eyes blinking awake.

"Bella?" I called out and her eyes snapped to me. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, before asking what happened. I then explained the clean up and where Nathan was, but she only kept nodding.

"So, this all really happened?" she finally asked.

"Yeah, it did," I answered.

"We should talk," she started just as the phone began to ring. I glanced over and saw it was Charlie. "Just let the machine get it, I don't want to deal with him right now," she brushed off.

"He showed up earlier, at the bowling alley, it was civil," I explained right as the standard answering machine recording went off.

"Not now, we have other things..." Bella was cut off by Charlie's voice.

_"Bella, it's your dad. Listen, I know you're mad at me, but Edward isn't answering his phone, and I need him to call me. I just got word on Tanya and..." beep._

Even though I flew at the phone, I was a second too late as I scrambled to hear my message. Bella stayed frozen on the bed that I'd flown off of.

* * *

**So, next update after Friday before the next Friday! Same as normal! I know it seems like 2 weeks away, but have I ever made you wait that long?**

**Review replies will work a little bit differently this week! There will be a Chapter 21 Teaser, a teaser to the outtake I wrote for the Fandom Against Domestic Violence (E&B at the cafe three days after their one-night stand), AND a special BPOV from her breaking down until Edward goes to her! So 3 total sections this week...I figured for such a huge chapter, you deserves a huge review reply!**

**I also decided to make a facebook page just for the fandom! It's SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction **http:/www(dot)facebook(dot)com/?ref=home#!/profile(dot)php?id=100002011260119&sk=wall

**Blind Intentions is up for A Shimmer Award for Best Tear Jerker! Thank you to whoever thought to nom me! **http:/shimmerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/nominees(dot)html

**My contest is now up and running, feel free to check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~pickyourownadventurecontest

**My Weekly Rec: Unexpected Circumstances by Savage7289 **This is Savage's new historical fic that I am currently digging! It's 9 chapters in and I'm still reading, so check it out! I'm a sucker for the historical! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6496709/1/Unexpected_Circumstances


	22. Chapter 21

**Woo hoo! We got past Esme and no one wanted to pitchfork me-I consider that a success! Thank you to all those who showed their support :)  
**

**Thank you to kas90, morethanmyself, devonmaid, and jadmama for helping with this chapter!**

**I don't own Twilight, I will never claim to own Twilight, and I swear I will never try to publish this story, after only changing the names of the Twilight cast it originated with ;)  
**

* * *

Right as I had my hand on the phone, the answering machine cut off. A blur of tunnel vision hit me as I quickly re-dialed Charlie on his phone at the station. I was rooted in place as two agonizing rings sounded before Charlie answered.

"Chief Swan," he picked up.

"It's Edward," I stated simply. My mouth ran dry, and I couldn't speak anymore. I just needed to know the new information he had. _Where was Tanya? What had she done? Was she planning something else? Where had she hid? _They were all the questions running through my head.

"Sit down, son," Charlie spoke seriously into the phone, and I began to brace myself for the worst.

My body worked without much direction from my brain. I stumbled over a few pieces of discarded clothes that laid haphazardly on the floor, before plopping onto the edge of Bella's bed.

"Are you sitting?" Charlie asked a moment later, and I incoherently muttered a 'uh huh' back. It hadn't even occurred to me that the last place he expected me to sit was on his daughter's bed.

"Well, I'll get to the point. A sheriff in Montana stumbled on a cabin several weeks ago that was burnt to the ground. They did an investigation and found a body inside. When they linked up the DNA they got a hit on our case. The body belonged to Tanya...she's dead, Edward. Tanya is dead," Charlie informed me with little emotion to his voice.

I could hear him continuing to talk, but his words stopped making sense. My brain focused only on the words 'Tanya' and 'dead'.

_Tanya was dead. _

_Tanya was no longer a threat. _

_If Tanya is dead that meant...Nathan was safe now?_

"Edward, are you still there?" Charlie yelled loudly into the phone. "Edward!"

"Yeah," I answered.

"I need you to come in and sign some paperwork. Can you come now?" he asked forcefully.

"Yeah, sure, yeah, that's fine, I mean, yeah, I'll just get dressed" I rambled.

"You'll tell Bella, yes?" he questioned just as I was about to hang up.

"Yes, I'll tell her." I hung up the phone and turned to Bella. She had both of her hands gripped on her bedspread, and her skin was pale.

"Where is she?" Bella whispered as I let the phone fall from my hands. It bounced lightly on the bed before coming to a stop between us.

"In hell," I replied. It was, honestly, the first thought that came into my mind. I would still check the alarms and the windows every night to ensure Nathan was safe, but now I had one less person to worry about. She was really gone.

"What?" Bella gasped. Her hand immediately raised to her mouth, and her eyes widened.

"She's dead. They found her body in a cabin in Montana," I explained. "Your dad kept talking, but I couldn't concentrate, but he needs me to go in."

"I'm coming, too." Bella immediately jumped off the bed with more energy than I'd seen in her in hours and began rummaging through her dresser. I saw a pair of jeans and a plain blue top fly past my head and hit the spot she'd just been sitting in. "Edward, go change."

I walked out of Bella's room and within ten minutes was sitting in my car driving to the station. Bella seemed to get a second wind or something, because she moved at the speed of light with a bounce to her step that I hadn't seen in months. The shock that overtook me after hearing that I was now, technically, a widower, was not felt by Bella. I didn't feel sorrow or regret, if anything, anger for not killing her myself. It almost felt like disbelief. Could it really be this easy? I had prepared myself for months and months of waiting just to divorce her, and, now, all of that was obsolete. Was I really free? Were we truly safe to move on with our lives now?

When we parked, I was surprised to see several officers still working. A few recognizable faces eyed us as we walked in, and I realized the fax machine was rapidly shooting out papers at Charlie's desk. I did notice how the station went to hushed whispered as soon as we made it through the doors.

"You're here," Charlie spoke as he stood up. He already had one chair next to his desk but pulled up another one when he saw Bella.

"I wasn't expecting you," he told her. Charlie's face did nothing to hide how nervous he was to be around Bella. His eyes darted between the two of us, more than usual, and he seemed slightly reserved. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he held his tongue.

"I couldn't miss this," she answered him honestly, "but this changes nothing between us."

Charlie remained emotionless and only nodded is head. We both took a seat as he retold the story.

Apparently, Kate's family owned a cabin in Montana and that was where Tanya was hiding out. The sheriff who found it, burnt to the ground, stumbled upon it on accident, and it took close to a month before our cases were linked. Although the cabin was nothing but foundation, there was a zip-locked bag package waiting for whoever found it. It contained several pages of detailed notes and a few journals that the Montana police department left for the Forks PD to put together since Tayna was linked back here.

He explained that Garrett told Tanya to meet him there, but they didn't think Garrett was honest with Tanya about who owned the property. What Charlie didn't understand was why Kate's family wasn't upfront with the Montana sheriff's station when they called about the property. They claimed ignorance, but they had sung a different story when Charlie spoke to them. Carmen, Kate's mother, admitted to sending Kate there to get her head straight after she took custody of her grandchildren. She then told Charlie she hasn't spoken to or heard from Kate since she boarded the plane.

"Wow," I blurted out once he paused. "I just...wow."

"So Kate killed Tanya? I knew she was crazy, I just knew it, especially after she told me to free her husband," Bella scoffed. She was right, Kate was definitely certifiable. However, it was still hard to believe Tanya was truly dead now.

"Yeah, she definitely had problems," I agreed nonchalantly.

"What were the notes about?" Bella inquired, and Charlie immediately tensed.

"I'm not so sure..." Charlie backpedaled a bit which concerned me.

"No, I want to know," I stated. "I need to know; what did they say?"

"Well, we already knew she was after Nathan, we just didn't know why. From her journals, we were able to conclude it was for money. She wrote, in great lengths, about your will and even had parts of it photocopied and taped in there. However, what we didn't expected was..." he paused for a second. "Edward, I'm going to be honest, everything personal aside, you may not want to know..."

"Tell me," I gritted out. I felt warmth overtake my balled up fist. I looked down to see Bella's thumb working in a circular motion in an attempt to sooth my nerves. I looked over at her, just for a brief moment, and smiled. It was as close to a 'thank you' as I could give her in that moment.

"I warned you, but, well, you were next. Tanya wrote out how she would murder you on the vacation you were suppose to take. It involved drugs and a car accident, but the point is, she wasn't only after Nathan, she was after you," Charlie finished talking, and I just sat there.

Me? She was coming after me? How did I not see this?

"What does it say about Bella, then? With Nathan gone, it would have went to her, I don't understand." The shock I had felt before doubled, and it hit me like a freight train.

"She never wrote about Bella," Charlie immediately answered. "I don't think she knew that information."

"Edward?" Bella nudged.

"Sorry, I just, so it really was my fault? She wanted Nathan dead for my money, I just..." I whispered. "I just need a minute."

I stood up from the chair and walked outside into the brisk, chilled air. A million emotions poured out of me as I contemplated how we would explain this to Nathan. Would he learn the truth as an adult? Would he hate me for it? I knew I had a lot to atone for as a dad, but this...how do you come back from this? I knew now I didn't love her, but until she hurt Nathan, I never hated her enough to try and kill her. But she would kill my child...for money? I would have given her everything willingly if I knew this was where it would have gone.

Time passed, though I didn't remember how much, before Bella walked out of the station. It was the middle of the morning, and we needed to go home, so she took my keys, and we left. Bella didn't elaborate on anymore information that Charlie could have shared, nor did she tell me if they had any sort of serious discussion. I understood, and supported, Bella being upset with Charlie for overstepping his bounds, but I had hoped it wouldn't become a permanent rift. After Bella's mom abandoned her, Charlie was all she had left outside of me and Nathan. I didn't want to see that fall apart, no matter how angry, at Charlie, I may have been.

As soon as we entered the house, Bella turned to ask me a question.

"Did you want to talk still, or..." Bella trailed off, and it was her single statement that made me realize I couldn't hold onto this. I was relieved that Tanya was dead, but I was more thankful for my son's life. I couldn't allow the guilt to consume me - if I had I'd been swallowed whole again. The time I was granted was too precious to waste, and, instead, I needed to use this as a fuel to push myself to be even better.

"Sure, I mean, we can talk for a bit, um, where?" I asked. I was definitely exhausted, but if Bella wanted to talk, I would. She needed to know I was here for her, regardless of the situation.

"Um, I'd like to stretch out a bit, is my room too personal?" Bella asked me nervously, but I shook my head no.

A few minutes later, I found myself sitting up against her headboard after we'd both changed into sleep clothes. Bella wore an old t-shirt and sweats, while I was in a wife beater and plaid flannel pants.

"So..." Bella shifted nervously, and it made me wonder if Bella chose her room for a reason. Maybe for personal security? "Thank you, for, um, stepping in when you did with your mom and..." I had to cut her off.

"I don't need to be thanked for that, it was long overdue, and I apologize for not doing it sooner," I interrupted a little harder than I had intended.

"Um, okay, well what you said to her, it's like I told you - I was confused, and then you did that. Now, I'm even more confused, and crap...am I even making sense?" Bella looked over at me with a frustrated look on her face. I thought I had an idea of what she was trying to say, so I nodded.

"Bella, I want you to know I didn't say those things to piss off my mom or anything. I said them because I meant them. I know you know how I feel, and I can't force anything on you. I'm sorry for exploding the other night, I was frustrated and annoyed, but you didn't deserve that wrath. I've put your through hell, and it's selfish of me to assume you can look past any of it. However, it doesn't change how I feel, but I want you to know that I don't hold any expectations. I'll continue to stay here as long as I'm needed, or wanted, and then we'll make whatever situation we have work. I'd love, more than anything, to get back to where we were when we could just talk and be free and open. I hadn't realize how much I missed you as a friend until I realized you were gone, and I know that's my fault, but I'd like nothing more than to get back there." My long winded speech didn't seem to have any physical reaction from Bella as her face stayed even the entire time I spoke.

"Thank you for apologizing, and I'm sorry I jumped on you about Nathan. What seemed like valid concerns then, well, they're still valid, but they're not as solid. When you walked in, God, Edward, if you could have seen your face. You looked horrified and angry, and I thought for sure you were coming after me," Bella barely croaked out the end before she had to whip a few tears from her eyes. I leaned over to her nightstand and grabbed a tissue from the box to hand to her.

"I'd never go after you. When I pulled in, the first person I saw was Rose, and I panicked. It reminded me of your shower, and I planned on immediately storming in...until I heard you tell her to tell her story. I froze because I didn't believe she'd be truthful if she knew I was there, so I just listened," I elaborated on why I stayed hidden. "Then I heard the slap, and I thought for sure she hit you, so what you saw was my reaction to that. God, Bella if she had hit you, I couldn't just stand there and let her think it was okay. I wasn't sure what I had planned to do until I saw your hand in the air, and I realized you were okay. Immediately, I wanted to be near you. I know I couldn't be a physical shield, but I wanted to be. Then she started talking, and it was like, I don't even know how to explain it. Six months ago, I wouldn't have seen through it, and I hate that. Today, though, I heard her...like, truly heard her, only I heard around her. Everything about her tone was fake, and I knew, God, I knew how wrong I had been all these years. Dr. Devon, he warned me that I would experience a range of emotions when I saw her again, but nothing prepared me for today," I explained.

_"Edward, when you do eventually see her, which you will, you have to know, there isn't an emotion you won't feel, but instead of focusing on your emotions, you have to listen to your brain. Listen to her, and hear her, the real her. That is how you'll know how to react, but you can't let your emotions, or your conscious, dictate you,"_ I mimicked his words to Bella.

"Wow, I didn't realize," Bella muttered before looking away.

In a daring move, I lifted my hand to her face and turned her towards me. Though her eyes darted, our faces came so close that I could feel the gentle breaths of air coming from her nose.

"Bella," I started, my voice hoarse. "I don't want anything more than you can give, and I don't expecting anything more than a friend, but I have to know where you stand."

"I don't know," she whispered back. "I want to try, but I'm not sure what that means."

"Do you think...wait, no, do you want to try and get back to where we were before, and by before, I mean, before Forks?" I questioned. I wanted more than anything to ask Bella out, have her say yes, and prove to her that I could be the man that she deserved. Bella didn't want flashy or expensive, and I knew everything I did or arranged would need to come from my own heart and mind, and I'd do it without question. However, nine years of hurt were impossible to erase, just like the over thirty years of emotional abuse I was still overcoming.

Bella remained quiet for a bit. Her eyes remained locked on mine, and I could see her mind working out her options She took one final breath before opening up her mouth to speak.

"So, how do we do this?" she whispered, a mere inch from my face.

"I don't know," I whispered back nervously. My eyes wandered to her red, plump lips that were begging me to kiss them. "We'll take this slow."

"Slow," she repeated softly. Her hand come out to touch my shoulder.

As much as I wanted her to bring me forward, I was relieved when she pushed me back. We both blinked rapidly as we took in our surroundings. Bella stifled a yawn, and I realized there was one question I had let sit too long.

"Bella, before we go to bed, I have a question," I began. "Please don't hate me, and I'm saying this to you as a friend, but have you considering talking to someone now?"

"You mean like a therapist?" Bella replied quickly and without any hesitance.

"Yeah, l do. I just think, I don't know, it could be beneficial." I knew I was tiptoeing, but I had just gotten Bella to agree to try and be more than we currently were, and I didn't want to ruin that.

"I had thought about it, but I got busy. Why, do you have a recommendation?" she replied in a tone that sounded like a joke.

"Well, not off hand, but I could ask, I mean, if you wanted me to," I stumbled over my words. This conversation was going far better than I had anticipated.

"Sure." She shrugged, and I gave her a deer in headlights look. "What? I know you had reservations about therapy, but remember, I've been in and out for years."

"Um, years?" I blanched. I knew she had seen someone after Nathan, but years?

"Um, yeah, years," she replied hesitantly, and I immediately felt like an ass.

"No, please don't think I'm judging you, I just, I didn't realize," I corrected my previous statement.

"One day, I'll tell you more about my mom, but that story is far too long, and I think I just need to crash. It's been a long day, and I'm not sure I have it in me," she brushed me off.

"When you're ready, I'm here to listen, but you're right. We still have to get Nathan in the morning." I chuckled.

I stood up to exit the room, shutting the light off before opening the door.

"Edward?" Bella called out at the last second.

"Huh?" I turned back towards her.

"Tanya is really dead, right? This wasn't a dream," she sounded hopeful.

"Definitely not a dream," I answered.

As I pulled the door shut, I thought for sure I heard Bella mutter, 'I guess you're not married anymore,' but judging by the time, I could have been hearing things.

* * *

_Knock_

_Knock, knock_

"Edward?" I heard Bella's voice, but my body wasn't functioning yet.

I rolled towards the sound and blinked rapidly at her form.

"Hey, you're awake." She smiled at me, as my body involuntarily stretched.

My mouth was dry, and I still felt dazed. I realized I'd only gotten four hours of sleep from the looks of the time, and, even though, I used to be able to function on less, the times had changed apparently.

"I'm sorry," Bella muttered when I didn't respond quickly.

"No," I croaked. "No, it's fine."

I sat up on the edges of bed and attempted to wake up more. Bella crept out of my room and shut the door when my cell phone beep indicating I had a text.

**-Get your asses out of bed. Rose wants to open her gifts, and we have Nathan now.-Emmett**

_Why did they have Nathan now? Where was Alice?_

I quickly redialed the number, and Emmett answered after only one ring. Apparently, Rosalie felt it would be best to host her own mini-party where she'd open up her gifts with Alice and Bella, while simultaneously, doing thank you cards. Jasper and Nathan were already playing video games, and Emmett was working on breakfast. I mumbled a lot, and he got the hint that it's been a long night. and told us to get there soon.

After a quick shower and new clothes, I walked out to Bella wringing her hands nervously at the table. She wasn't eating, and the newspaper was thrown haphazardly on the table to her side.

"Everything okay?" I asked cautiously. Her eyes snapped up to me, and she looked guilty.

"I'm so sorry for barging in," she started while jumping up from the chair..

I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Don't apologize," I whispered into the top of her hair. "I needed to get up."

I pulled away as Bella's face flushed. That was when I realized what I had just done. _Crap_. Bella wanted to be friends, and I was already coming on too strong.

"Okay, then," she said shyly. "I was just gonna go get Nathan, and..."

"Um, Emmett called, apparently the party is that their house. Rose wants help opening her presents, the guys are suppose to play while looking helpful, and Emmett's making breakfast," I relayed the message I had just received.

"So, Nathan isn't at Alice and Jasper's?" she asked.

"No," I answered warily, slightly caught off guard by her question.

"I don't know how I feel about that," Bella replied honestly. Her face a mix of several emotions I couldn't distinguish.

"Um?" I spoke aloud, at a loss for words.

"Look, I trust them, but I don't like not knowing where he is. I just want them to tell me," Bella replied softly.

Then it clicked. If something would have happened Bella, and I would've shown up at the wrong house, and...ohhhhhhh!

"I understand. We'll talk to them?" My statement came out more like a question.

Bella nodded and started to get her stuff ready to leave.

"Are you nervous?" Bella asked after we were already driving to Emmett and Rosalie's.

"Um, no, why would I be?" I asked casually.

"Well, after what your mom said to Alice, I'm surprised you're not more concerned." She shrugged.

The truth was, I had spent so much time thinking about Bella last night, and then learning about Tanya, that I hadn't had time to think about Alice. Now that Bella had reminded me, my brain went into overdrive.

"No, no, you're right, I just hadn't thought about it yet," I explained as I pulled into the driveway.

"You should talk to her." That was Bella's parting advice before exiting the car.

"I'll do that," I answered, and she nodded before ringing the door bell.

Surprisingly, Alice answered the door laughing...that was, until she saw me. The second our eyes locked her face went blank.

"Come on, Edward, I'm sure Emmett could use your help, and, Bella, you're ours," she delegated before pulling Bella's hands in the direction of the living room.

"Alice, I think..." She cut me off.

"I don't," she replied curtly.

"I'd really love to talk to you," I pushed.

"Not now," she gritted out forcefully.

"Alice..."

"Drop it, Edward," Jasper's voice rang out from the hallway he'd just stepped out of. He immediately walked up to Alice and placed a kiss on her forehead, before she walked away with Bella in toe.

"Jasper?" I let my question hang.

"Don't, she'll talk to you when she's ready," he answered quickly before walking off towards, I assumed, Nathan.

I trailed behind until I found my son. I knew Alice said to help Emmett, but there was no way I wasn't going to find Nathan first.

"Hi, Dad!" he explained with excitement. His entire face beamed, and I revelled in that fact.

"Hey, buddy, whatya doing?" I asked, and he held up the control to the PS3.

"I'm beating Uncle Jazzy's butt!" he cheered triumphantly.

"Jasper," Jas huffed. "Uncle Jasper!"

"But Aunt Alice said it's Uncle Jazzy." He smirked, and I knew he knew exactly what he was saying.

Jasper turned to me, and I just shook my head.

"You're on your own," I told him before turning my attention back to Nathan. "I'm gonna go help your Uncle Emmett in the kitchen, k?"

"Play with me later?" he asked with a hopeful look.

"There is no one else I'd rather play with," I answered truthfully and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

I briefly waved to Rosalie on my way to the kitchen. Alice and Bella were sitting on the floor with her with gift bags & boxes spilled out in every direction. They seemed to have a system set up where Rosalie opened, Alice photographed and wrote down who it was from, while Bella wrote out the thank you note.

When I walked into the kitchen, Emmett was already working on preparing the eggs. A buffet set up was already laid our with pancakes, bacon, hashbrowns, and sausages.

"I didn't know you could cook," I remarked, and Emmett laughed.

"There are a lot you don't know about me, little brother," he answered with his back turned.

"Somehow, I don't doubt that," I replied. "How is Rosalie fairing?"

"She's a trooper, always has been." He turned around and beamed in her direction. "She cried for a little while last night, but then suggested we do this thing, and she cheered up."

"Speaking of," I started nervously. I really wasn't sure how to word my next statement, but I knew it was important to us, so I would. "Look, if you guys get together again and switch off where Nathan is, could you call one of us first, please?"

Emmett cocked his head to the side with a confused look.

"We just weren't comfortable not knowing exactly where he was, I mean I'm sure this comes off as paranoid, but..."

"No, no, man, that's fine. Damn, I'm sorry," Emmett started to explain. "We didn't even realize, yeah, of course, we'll call you guys first."

"Thanks, I understand. Honestly, if it wasn't after everything, we'd probably never thinking about it, but...yeah," I sighed and he nodded. He got it.

"So, what is going on with you two?" Emmett asked quietly in the kitchen. I followed the train of his sight to Bella, who was currently sitting under a pile or gifts bags and tissue paper.

"We're going to try," I answered. Try as I might, I couldn't help the smile that took over my face.

I heard Emmett talking but was too busy looking over at Bella to listen. Her head turned, and our eyes met. She returned my smile before looking down and blushing lightly.

Alice hit her knee, and she immediately went back to focusing on the thank you notes she was currently working on.

"Uh, Edward," Emmett called out right behind me, and I jumped.

"Sorry, I was just..." I held up my hand. "What were you saying?"

"What does trying mean?" Emmett was scooping the eggs into the last buffet dish.

"Friends," I answered immediately. "Just friends, close friends, even, and seeing if it grows. Neither one of us want to rush."

"Look, I know this may not be my place, but aren't you married?" Emmett asked.

"Um, actually, I'm not," I answered while doing a 360 of the area. Bella and I hadn't talked about how to broach the subject with Nathan yet, and the last thing we needed was for him to walk in on this conversation.

"Excuse me?" Emmett whipped around towards me. "Where is...um, where is she?"

"No longer with us," I answered simply, and recognition hit his face.

"Do you mean?" The question hung as I nodded my head. "Details?"

"When Nathan isn't around," I whispered. He nodded and his eyes went wild for a second.

"I'm starving," Nathan whined behind me. Once I heard his voice, Emmett's reaction made sense, so I relaxed my face before turning around.

"Do you want to help set the table?" I asked, and Nathan nodded.

* * *

Brunch went by with quiet conversations among the table as we all dug in. I had to admit, my brother definitely knew how to cook. It made me wonder what else I didn't know about him. I knew I needed to talk to Alice, but I also felt like I should have a sit down with Emmett. He didn't seem to have such a negative reaction towards me, so I wasn't sure if Alice had told him what mom had said.

When I looked back on my life, being her favorite made sense. I wasn't forbidden from playing with my siblings, but it always seemed like I always had something else to do. I grew up more like an only child, because Emmett and Alice always had each other, whereas I had mom. I was definitely at a disadvantage, but I doubted they saw it that way.

"So, is there anything I can help with, Rosalie?" I asked as everyone slowly finished their meals.

Her eyes blanched at me before she had a chance to recover.

"Um." She coughed lightly. "I don't know if you want to help Emmett start putting together some of these bigger items, but you did all that before, right?" She looked uncomfortable asking the question, and her eyes shifted between Bella and me.

"Of course," I answered immediately. I had fond memories of wanting to throw Nathan's crib out of Bella's apartment window. Whoever made those directions did not know what they were talking about, and I almost cried the day I realized I couldn't fit in the hallway to go to his room...which meant I had to take it apart, move it, and put it back together again. Bella had a lot of laughter at my expense that afternoon.

"Why don't we go upstairs after we're done cleaning up and work on the crib?" Emmett interjected. I visibly shuttered, and I heard Bella stiffle a laugh.

"What?" Rosalie asked with a smile as she looked between us with a lighter expression than before.

"Oh, Rose, you should have seen him." Bella couldn't contain her laughter anymore and let herself go. "Oh God, first, he insisted...and, I mean, insisted he read every single word on the instructions sheet! Then, when I told him he should set our crib up in Nathan's room, he swore, and I'm telling you, swore he'd fit in the hallway to put in Nathan's room. I really thought I'd see him cry, when not only did he shred the directions after the third page, but the crib would not budge because of the narrow walls. He huffed, and fumed, and even screamed, after he took it back apart just to put it back together in the room I told him too." Bella had tears in her eyes from laughing, and everyone joined in on the fun.

"Thanks guys, really, moving on now, do you want my help?" I directed my question at Emmett.

"Sure," he replied, but he hadn't stopped laughing yet.

"Can I help?" Nathan popped up. He looked genuinely excited to help, and even though I knew his help would probably make the project longer, I couldn't say no.

"Sure," I answered, and Nathan smiled.

"What about you, Jasper?" Emmett asked.

"Um, I think we're gonna get going, actually," Alice answered for them. I didn't miss the nod Emmett gave her before they stood up to leave.

Emmett, Nathan, and I worked well into the afternoon as we slowly made it through all of their nursery set. Then we worked on the bouncer, the rocker, and the glider. Emmett started to pull out the Exersaucer until I told him to save it for a few months, because he wouldn't want it in the way taking up space.

When we finally walked back downstairs, Nathan looked like he was going to pass out, and Bella was laughing at a joke Rosalie had just said.

"Someone needs a nap," I commented and shifted my head. Nathan nodding his head in agreement.

"You're right, it is late." Bella looked down at her watch. She held out her hand to Rosalie, who was also on the floor, she took it, and wobbled her way up.

"How much longer?" I asked.

"A few more weeks." He shrugged. One thing I had noticed was that Rosalie never complained, she didn't panic, and, for being a first time mom, she was very calm and collected. I knew this baby was her dream come true, and I was happy she was enjoying the process, despite how much pain she was probably in.

"Call me if anything..." Bella trailed off, and she nodded. Rosalie had asked Bella several weeks prior if she would be in the room with her and Emmett. She didn't feel comfortable with anyone else, and Bella had the experience Rosalie wanted.

* * *

After we go back home, no more than two minutes had passed before the doorbell sounded.

I moved quickly to answer it and was surprised to find a red eyed Alice on the other side.

"Alice," my voice broke as I took in her appearance.

"I think I'm ready to talk," she replied as she stepped in. I immediately walked her back to the office so we had some privacy.

We both took a seat on the couch Bella had recently added to the room. It was a pale blue color that contrasted the dark wood desks we both had. It was plush and extremely comfortable.

"Please don't cry..." I started to say when she cut me off.

"Just let me speak, please," Alice sounded pained. I nodded my head, and she took that as her cue to start. "I hated you. God, I hated you when we were growing up. I even entertained the idea of taking you in the woods, getting you lost, and running away." She chuckled with an eerie wistful look on her face. If she didn't have my attention before, she certainly did after that statement.

"When we were growing up, I knew, God, I knew I wasn't good enough. I tried, everyday, I tried so hard to be what she wanted, and I couldn't. And, then, you came along and you were. Mom didn't want me anymore, she wanted you, and I hated you for it.

"When I turned thirteen, we were invited to a mother and daughter spa day. All of my friends and their moms were going to the spa in the city, and I was so excited to ask her. I thought she'd want to, I don't know, spend time with me, but, oh no, you had piano lessons. The world would fall if she would miss just one lesson, it wasn't even like it was a recital, and I just gave up. At thirteen I accepted that I would never be enough.

"Emmett understood because he wasn't good enough either, but he never took it personally. He said Dad was too busy to notice, and Mom didn't matter, that I was beautiful and one day they would realize what they were missing out on. I held onto that hope for so long, until I couldn't anymore. That hope hurt me. Every rejection, every 'I'm too busy,' every 'Oh honey, Edward has'..." she mimicked our Mom's voice to a tee.

"I hated you for it, and I wanted you to disappear. When I went to college, I had no self esteem and generally was miserable. I had so many people walk all over me, but I said never said no, because they paid attention to me. That was all I wanted, I wanted to be noticed. It went on for a while, until I wound up at a party. I had been drinking and talking to this guy, he wanted more, and I didn't, but I was too small to push him off. He tore my dress, but before anything could happen, two hands came around and slammed him through a wall. And, I don't mean hit against the door, I mean the drywall had to picked out of the guys hair, and that was how I met Jasper." She smiled wistfully for a second before coming back to her story. I felt nauseous at the idea of any guy manhandling my sister, and even worse because I didn't even know.

"He taught me, hell, showed me, how important I was, how important I am. Mom missed out, and Dad did too, but he was there. He said the right things, he listened when I needed, and he got me help. He introduced me to a therapist, and my world changed.

"My therapist showed me that I didn't hate you, I hated Mom. In fact, I truly pitied you. However, I had only just started seeing her when you brought Bella home. Edward, what I'm saying is, I didn't attack Bella because of Bella, I was attacking you.

"I thought, just maybe, if I sided with Mom she would notice me. I knew it was wrong, and I said some hurtful things to Bella, but I didn't mean them. I let my hate for you project onto her, and that was wrong. I've apologized to her a million times, and it was my therapist who pushed me to contact her. I didn't go into it expecting a friend, I just needed her to know the truth.

"Mom turned on Jasper after you left, and I was done. I had said I was done before then, but that was my final straw. She wasn't taking Jasper away from me, just like she shouldn't have taken Bella from you. But, that, that was why I pitied you. You were her puppet, and no one could say differently, and you didn't even realize who you had in front of you.

"After Jasper and I got married, we didn't know where to go. Mom and Dad had just moved to Forks, and through a lot of pushing, I convinced Jasper we should too. Of course, at first he thought I had lost my mind, but I proved to him it wasn't for Mom. I really had given up on her, but I wanted to be near Bella. She needed someone on her side, and I wanted to know my nephew. I had no business begging for her forgiveness, and it wasn't instant, but we started talking, and now she's one of my closest friends.

"You, God, Edward, you were an idiot. Emmett and I would talk about you, but we knew you'd never listen. Then you met her, which Bella told me, and I've been thanking God since this morning, but you met her, and you got worse. I never thought you'd become worse than when you were mom's puppet, but you did. The thing is, I realized that I should be thanking you." Alice huffed and collected her thoughts.

"You had everything I ever wanted. You had Mom, and when you're a teenager, that is all you want. But, I've seen what it cost you, and now I'm thankful that she chose you and not me. If I was you, the,n I may not have Jasper, and I don't have a future without him. He is my world, and no one can replace him. So, what I'm saying is, I love you. You're my brother, and I love you, but I don't know how to like you. And, I don't know if I'll ever be able to like you, because when I see you, I see Mom. I know I shouldn't, and I know you've changed so much, but the hurt is there.

"Jasper and I talked, and we both agreed it's time for us to leave. Forks has never been home, and after yesterday, it can never be home. Too much hurt and too many memories, and we need a fresh start. I will always be here for you, but I just can't live here anymore, and I hope you don't hate me for abandoning you, but I just can't..." Alice burst into tears. She had remained strong through her entire speech as I absorbed every word she said. I was shocked speechless at the pain I had unknowingly caused her, and for her to think I'd hate her for leaving was unimaginable.

"When?" I managed to ask.

"After Nathan's party. We'll stay until the summer, and after that, we're gone. We're still working out the details, but Jasper is from the south, so probably somewhere around there," she answered.

"May I?" I asked cautiously. Alice was hesitant, but nodded.

"You're my sister, and I love you." I realized that the array of emotions I had felt while listening to Alice were slowly bubbling to the surface. I took a few cleansing breaths to calm myself before going on. "I don't think there is anything I can say, and I won't pretend to understand, but I just want you to know that I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you, and you're irreplaceable to me. I don't hate you, I don't think less of you, and I'd rather have you living somewhere where you can be happy, then be stuck in Forks because other people need you."

"Thank you," she muttered weakly.

I scooted over to her side of the couch and wrapped my arms around her. She sobbed into my chest, and I felt as if my heart had shattered. I was slowly starting to see the true damage that my Mom had left in her wake, and I knew we needed to get out of Forks, too. I was surprised to hear Alice claim Dad was too busy, and I made a mental note to think about that later.

When Alice stopped shaking, I let go of her. She wiped her eyes and took a few deep breaths before standing up.

"I need to get home," she announced.

"Okay." I followed her lead. "If you ever need anything, I'm here."

She nodded and left the room. Alice didn't stop to talk to Bella, instead said a quick goodbye before heading for the door.

The rest of the evening went by as normal. We ate dinner together before Nathan went to sleep. Bella asked me about my conversation with Alice, but I was still reeling from my earlier emotions that I asked her for a rain check. She seemed to be very understanding and left me alone to my own thoughts and my journal.

When I heard a knock at my door, I woke up with a shock. I was still in my clothes from earlier with my notebook open, and the clock read three in the morning. Bella popped in, and she looked dressed to go in new clothes.

"I'm going to the hospital, they've admitted Rose," she explained.

I shook my head awake as I took in her words. It was time!

"Do you need me to do anything?" I asked, realizing I had never asked that before.

"No, I'll call later, just make sure Nathan gets off to school, okay?" she asked me, and I nodded.

"Tell her I said good luck." Bella smiled at me and shut the door.

I laid awake until it was time to get Nathan, as I was unable to fall back asleep since Bella had come in, thoughts of my Dad, and where my life could have been, floating in my head.

* * *

**So, next update is going to be slightly tricky! I don't have a date, and I'm not going to promise, but I've never gone longer than a week before and I really don't plan on starting now. Sadly, the next two weeks are going to be insanely busy for my in real life...and trust me, compared to what I'm doing, I'd rather be writing! However, it has to be done and will cut in on my already small amount of writing time I get each night. For those who don't know, I'm a mom to a 2 and 1/4 year old and a 7 and 1/2 month old, so writing at night is all the time I get! I'll keep everyone updated via facebook, twitter, and the Twi'd thread!  
**

**Review replies this week will be a teaser for Chapter 22!The theme is "Showdown Take 2" and no, it's not an Esme chapter. Edward has a bone to pick with his other parent :)  
**

**Details later on a KPOV Outtake I'll be writing explaining exactly how Tanya died.  
**

**I also decided to make a facebook page just for the fandom! It's SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction **http:/www(dot)facebook(dot)com/?ref=home#!/profile(dot)php?id=100002011260119&sk=wall

**Blind Intentions is up for A Shimmer Award for Best Tear Jerker! Thank you to whoever thought to nom me! **http:/shimmerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/nominees(dot)html

**My contest is now up and running, feel free to check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~pickyourownadventurecontest

**My Weekly Rec: Truth, Loyalty, Commitment by bellie486 **Copward, need I say more? http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5310641/1/Trust_Loyalty_Commitment


	23. Chapter 22

**Welcome Back to Blind Intentions! Much longer a/n at the bottom :)  
**

**Thank you to kas90, morethanmyself, devonmaid, and jadmama for helping with this chapter! ANY mistakes are my own...reasoning below!  
**

**I don't own Twilight, I will never claim to own Twilight, and I swear I will never try to publish this story, after only changing the names of the Twilight cast it originated with ;)  
**

* * *

"Where's Mom?" Nathan asked as I poured him a bowl of cereal. It provided me with a distraction from the thoughts that were swirling around in my head - from my conversation with Alice, where things were leading with Bella, and how Rose and Emmett were fairing at the hospital. So much had happened, and with the few short hours of sleep I had gotten the night before, my brain was overloaded.

I turned around at his words and found a wary eyed Nathan standing behind me. He looked at me expectantly, and I realized I hadn't answered his question. I had been too busy staring at the clothes he'd put on for the day, and how Bella might have killed me if she could see him right now. He had on a red t-shirt that was so wrinkled you'd have thought he slept in it with the jeans he wore the day before. One of the first pieces of parenting advice I had ever received was to pick your battles, and this one, for sure, was not worth it.

"Your mom is with your Aunt Rose right now, she's having the baby," I finally answered him.

Nathan's eyes widened, and I could see his mind working. Realization dawned on his face, and he smiled.

"So, can we go see the baby after school?" he asked excitedly while moving to the table to eat his breakfast.

"I don't know, maybe. Babies come on their own schedule, sometimes they're quick, but there is a chance the baby won't be here before you get out of school," I explained in as much detail as I wanted to give my eight year old son.

"Oh, so it could be a while?" he asked between bites, and I nodded. "I hope he's here before I get out of school."

That was Nathan's final comment before we headed out the door. He shuffled through papers in his bag the entire ride to school and didn't say another word about Rose. I realized we still hadn't told him about Tanya, and I knew I needed to talk to Bella soon so we could decide on our plan of action for that discussion.

"Your mom or I will be back to pick your up," I explained as he reached for the door handle.

"Okay, love you, Dad." He smiled in my direction as he got out and started moving towards the doors. He turned around briefly to wave at me before going out of sight.

It was those kinds of moments that made me realize how lucky we were that Nathan was found safely. I'd spent so much time taking for granted the time I had, that I never appreciated smaller moments like this. It was a simple wave, but it showed how much he cared, and with the teenage eyes around the corner, I knew that wouldn't last.

I suddenly realized I'd been sitting in the same spot for several minutes before I shook my head and began driving. I knew I didn't want to go back home, but I wasn't sure where else to go. Things with Charlie hadn't improved yet, and I didn't think Alice would want to see me. Rosalie and Emmett were obviously busy, and my dad would also be working. As I ticked off the people on my list, I started to realize that I didn't really have any friends. I was friendly with several people that I worked with, but I didn't have a few people I'd call to hang out with. Looking back, outside of college, I'd never had a lot of friends.

Without meaning to, I found myself in my old driveway. I hadn't been able to put the house up for sale yet because of Tanya's disappearance, but now that she would no longer be part owner, I'd be able to get paperwork moving on it again. I made a mental note to call the realtor later and ask what I now needed to do in order to sell it. I had plans to pack everything up and just move it to storage, at least for the time being, but then that was all put on hold when appointments piled up.

I hesitated on the walkway and, for a second, thought about turning around and driving away. However, I decided there must be some reason I drove myself here. Now knowing Tanya's true intent made me realize how truly blind I was over the last several years. I never predicted my wife would want me dead, and I didn't know how to come to terms with that yet.

When I opened the door, I was met with the same sight I had seen for the past several years. I had only taken a minimal amount of things to Bella's, so it didn't look much different from before. As I looked down at the shoe rack, a blur of Nathan's shoes appeared and vanished as soon as I blinked. A few steps into the living room and a similar issue miraged before my eyes, only this time, it was Nathan playing and laughing. I was beginning to realize this house made me wistful.

It took some convincing from Bella to sell me on Forks as the perfect place to raise Nathan, though she admitted she thought she'd have to try harder, I had put a lot of thought into it before agreeing to move. I knew Bella could have simply chosen to move without me, but she always made herself willing to compromise when it came to Nathan. One of the first questions I had asked was about safety and the crime rate, which seemed completely ironic, given that I not only introduced, but married, the woman who sought to harm him.

There were layers of dust on every surface, and I smiled, not because I liked the filth, but because I knew how much that would bother Tanya if she were still alive. She was a complete and total clean freak, and even the last memory I had of her was her disinfecting the kitchen with lysol. The living room was still in order, but nothing sparkled or shined the way she had liked it.

I travelled up the stairs to the old master bedroom. I had left behind some clothes that I didn't wear often and formal clothes I wouldn't need any time soon. As the door swung open, I realized I felt angry. When I first walked into the house, I thought my anger was directed at the memories it held, but as I stared at the bed, which, undoubtedly, held my now worst memories, I realized I was angry at myself. It wasn't just that I missed how manipulative my mom was or how she ignored my siblings. As a child, those things were out of my control, but as an adult, I should have seen Tanya for what she was...a gold-digger.

All of this...for money? It simply didn't compute in my head. I tried thinking back to a time where she tried to pull me aside, or talk to me, but I couldn't. The fantasy I had built up in my head was nothing more than the fantasy I'd created, and the more I looked back, the more I realized how distant we were to each other. I felt a small portion of guilt for that, though it didn't stack up against the hatred I now felt, but I knew it was mainly my fault. I had let work get in the way because I wanted it to. If I didn't, then it would have never happened, but Tanya wasn't a priority, and I treated her as such.

What worried me now was Bella. Tanya had turned into the most evil person I knew, next to my own mother, but I still wasn't sure if she had always been that way. I held some sliver of hope that I could somewhat judge people's character, but missing this was a crushing blow to that ideology. I wanted more with Bella than I had ever wanted with Tanya, but I couldn't allow myself to become the monster I had become with her. Bella deserved so much more than a husband she saw a night or two out of the week. She deserved someone she could be open and honest with, without the fear of being judged or humiliated. Someone who could keep her safe, while not trying to put her under a lock and key. Someone who could help provide for her, but still be her equal.

Bella wasn't some damsel in distress waiting to be rescued by some prince, she needed a man who was worthy of being her equal in every way. A man who would go out of his way to make her feel loved, cherished, worshiped, but, most of all, respected. Anger bubbled over as I remembered Alice's words from the night before.

_"I'll always love you, but I'm not sure if I can like you."_

Alice, my flesh and blood sister, felt such hatred towards me, it made me question if Bella could ever look at me as more.

I heard the sound of crashing before I realized it came from the picture frame that had been sitting on the dresser. My hands were taking picture after picture and chucking them at the wall in frustration. I felt like a man possessed, and I didn't stop until every last picture of Tanya and me had been destroyed.

My blood was pumping, and my hands felt sweaty. Several frames laid in ruin on the floor with glass fanning out from all sides. I wanted so badly to turn the room inside out...shred, throw, destroy anything I could, but I knew better. It was taking my brain time to catch up with my body, but I was able to stalk out of the room, down the stairs, and out the front door before I did anything else.

I hit my car before I realized I hadn't locked the front door, so I quickly fixed that before jumping back in my car and driving to the hospital. It was only ten, which meant I had wasted two hours in my old house, and Bella still hadn't called. When I parked, I opted out of trying to check on Rosalie and headed straight for Devon's office.

Since the holidays, Devon and I began meeting more on a 'by needs' basis versus two days a week schedule, as we were when I had first started. It had been over a week since I had last seen him, and I had no clue if he could work me in today or not, but I needed him too.

His receptionist, Jessica, smiled when she saw me and immediately called back to his office. I knew her from the hospital, but I didn't know she worked for Devon. He came out and ushered me in, explaining he'd just had a cancellation.

"We've never met here before," he started as he took a seat at his desk. He put his hand out towards the chair indicating where he wanted me to sit. "What is going on?"

So, I started talking. I started with my confrontation with my mother and worked my way to the house I'd just left out. I explained my heart to heart talk with Bella, and the heart wrenching conversation I had with my sister. He remained silent the entire time I ranted and explained all that had happened in the past 48 hours on up to where Bella was currently, and how I had until three before I needed to pick Nathan up.

"Well, you've had quiet a few days," he mused. "Tell me, what did you feel when you heard your mom's story?"

"The first thought I had was disbelief. I couldn't wrap my head around how insignificant it felt. I knew it must have been hell for her, but it left me feeling empty, like that was it? All the pain and hurt, for that." I shook my head at the thought. I felt like such an idiot for putting so much faith in her.

"Now that you know, what would you have done differently?" he asked. I was mildly shocked by his question, because anytime I'd mentioned prior about wishing to go back, he had scolded me, explaining that living in the past wouldn't help now.

"I would have fought for myself, for Bella. I would have pushed to make things work with her, or, at least, given us a real chance," I immediately replied as I started going over in my head all of the things I would have done.

"Really?" he pushed with an arched eyebrow.

"Yes, really," I snapped back.

"Let's go to Alice, if she and Emmett had sat you down and explained their point of view, what would you have done?" His new train of thought had me thinking, so I didn't immediately respond, instead I thought about the question.

"I would have listened," I eventually answered.

"When you listened to Alice, did you actually listen to her words and take from them, or were you defensive and closed off?" he asked.

"I listened. It was difficult to hear, but I didn't become defensive," I answered as I thought back to the conversation and analyzed my thoughts and feelings. I didn't get snappy, if anything I just felt pain, and all I wanted to do was hug my sister, but I didn't think she'd be receptive.

"And would you have felt the same way if they talked to you, say, four years ago? Perhaps before your wedding?" I was almost surprised he wasn't wearing a smirk, because I knew internally he had to be smug...I walked right into that one.

_Fuck. _

_He was right...again. _

I would have listened, but there was no way I would have been so receptive. If I would have been, I would have listened to Emmett when he told me I shouldn't have been marrying Tanya. Instead, I got defensive, and this is where it lead me.

"Well, I don't have a comfortable table for you to slam your head on, but I have a noon appointment, so I'm planning on heading to the cafeteria about now. Care to join?" I looked up to see his face even, not even a hint of judgment.

I nodded as I stood up and stretched my legs.

As we walked down the hall, I recognized several faces. Most people smiled and nodded, a few tried to stop me, but I politely brushed them off.

When we got down to the cafeteria, I was astonished to see Emmett in line with a huge salad on his tray and a can of soda. He spotted me staring at him and waved me over.

"Hey, how is Rosalie?" I immediately asked as I recognized the glow on his face.

"Good, he's here!" Em cheered loud enough for the whole cafeteria to hear. "Joshua Daniel Cullen, 9 lbs 12 oz, and 22 inches long."

My eyes widened as I took in his stats...he sounded like a big, healthy baby.

"That's great, congrats! Why are you down here?" I asked.

"Rose was screaming for food and wanted a salad, so I came down her to get one since she said ordering it would take too long. She won't let him go, so she's probably in the same spot I left her." The smile on his face was infectious.

"Where's Bella?" I asked Emmett when I realized she still hadn't called me yet. I was shocked and hurt that I wasn't somewhere on the totem poll, since I was the uncle.

"Oh, her cell died, so I told her to use dad's office," he answered as he paid for their food.

"Oh." I had barely gotten the words out of my mouth before Bella came through the doors. Her face was so pale and she looked like she'd just seen a ghost.

"What's wrong?" I asked immediately as she stumbled in our direction.

"I, uh, and, he and, um, she was, uh, naked, so I ran, and..." she muttered as she came up to me.

The door flew open again, and this time my father stood on the other side with a terrified look on his face. His hair looked crazy and his clothes looked like he'd haphazardly thrown them on.

_What the fuck?_

* * *

"Bella, are you okay?" I heard Emmett ask, but she shook her head no. I looked up to see a mixed expression on his face. Part of me knew he wanted to figure out what had just happened, but he belonged with Rosalie and Joshua right now. I mouthed for him to go, and he didn't need to be told twice before he side stepped past our dad on the way out.

I took Bella's hand and pulled her to the table where I got her a seat. I looked up to see my dad's frozen form still rooted in the same place. What caught my eyes was the blonde haired girl who came up behind him.

I knew her.

_"You know, Edward, you're not nearly as much fun as your father," she joked one late night. Mallory was a fill in nurse in Peds that evening and had been flirting with me all night. _

_"You don't say," I replied absentmindedly. _

_"Yeah, your dad is much more entertaining..." she trailed off. _

_I remembered walking away, and she didn't work on the Peds floor again. At the time, I didn't take her words seriously, but now that her clothes were in the same state as my father's, I was slowly putting the pieces together. _

As a father, he was there, always. He made it to recitals, school open houses, science fairs, and big events, but the day-to-day work was on my mom's shoulders. I had thought it was because my mom was my main focus, but Alice had mentioned that Dad didn't care.

Now that he was legally divorced from my mom, I couldn't fault him for any fun he may or may not have been having, but when did this start?

Bella's face was still pale, but she'd stopped shuddering. I looked up to see my dad walking over to us, and the blonde nurse had disappeared.

"We should move to my office, son," he directed in a clipped tone.

I nodded and pulled Bella up beside me.

"Perhaps Bella should go back to Rose?" he suggested, but I shook my head no. Bella was staying with me.

He sighed before leading the way to his office.

When the door shut, Bella immediately took a seat in the far corner, and I started working out the words I wanted to use.

"When?" I started off basic.

"A few weeks ago, after I signed the papers..." I could tell by his eyes that he was lying. My father was nothing if not a horrible liar, it was actually what made him a great doctor. He had empathy, but was honest, and his patients trusted him more for it.

"The first time, when?" I asked again, but more directly. I wasn't stupid, and though I could have claimed to be in the past, I wasn't now.

"I don't," he started, and I recognized his tone of voice...he was annoyed.

"Do you know what lying got me? A dead wife who planned on killing me. A son who almost lost his life over money, and a mother, who was emotionally abusive to her three children their entire lives, so do not patronize me. When was the first time, because I know, I fucking know, this wasn't it." I realized I was yelling when I shut up, but I couldn't have cared in the least who was listening.

"After you were born," he finally replied after a pause.

"Why?" I tried to keep my tone even, but I failed. Judgment poured off me, and though I knew I was in no place to judge, I did so, anyhow.

"She wasn't the same after you were born," he answered, and I rolled my eyes. _Really?_ Was everything now my fault.

"How many?" I asked, as my curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to know if he chose not to spend time with his children for a few women, long term, or just, whatever nurse he could get his hands on.

"I don't know, I've never counted," he stalled, but I could see his brain working behind his eyes. "Probably forty, maybe fifty. I don't know, a lot. Why does it matter how many, the point was, after you were born, she wasn't the same."

"So, you cheated on your wife, for what? Thirty years, because I was born," the sarcastic words rolled off my tongue effortlessly. "That's awesome, Dad! Just fucking awesome! Is there anything else I need to know? What else could possibly be my fault?"

"I didn't say..." he started, but I shook my head.

"Let me get this straight. You started cheating on my mother, after I...yes, me, was born, because she wasn't the same. Yet, that isn't suppose to be my fault. You showed up for big events in my life, why? Obligation? But when I needed you, or Alice, or Emmett, NEEDED you, you were where? Fucking some nurse like a two cent whore to get off, because, wait, Mom was different after I was born."

"Edward, this isn't about you..." he tried to explain, but I had had enough.

"Fuck that!" I roared. "Of course this is about me! Your excuse was that she was different after I was born! Therefore, had I not been born, you would have been the husband she needed, the father Alice and Em needed, and I'd be nowhere. So, don't fucking backpedal.

"What disgusts me, was I looked up to you. When I thought about who I was, and where I wanted to be, I thought about you. The great doctor who came home to his wife and was there for his children...damn, what a fool I was. Those late hours and extra surgeries, they were all lies, huh?"

"No, not all," he answered. "However, I was there for you, Edward, but your mother ruined you."

I heard Bella gasp from the corner, and for a second, I had forgotten she was there. I turned my head to see her wide eyed, and her hand was in front of her mouth. She wore a shocked expression, and I paused to see if she'd say anything, but she didn't.

"Fine, Carlisle," I started. "You're right, she ruined me. Not only did you not stop her, but you can gladly get in line behind everyone else who has been saying the same damn could have left, instead, you ignores us. All of us, in favor of quickies and what? I've lived in your shadow for years, but I could live with that, since I looked up to you. I'm done living in that shadow, I lost my mother this week, and it appears I've now lost my father, too."

I held out my hand to Bella, and she blinked a few times before standing up to meet me. She was through the door before I heard him say he had tried his best.

I turned around and narrowed my eyes on him.

"You could have just given up on me, but Alice and Emmett deserved better."

The door slammed, and I marched Bella and I to the elevator.

* * *

In the elevator, Bella turned to me and opened her mouth several times, but always shut it before speaking.

"We're going to celebrate the birth of our nephew, and tonight, we'll talk. Not a word to Emmett, please," I announced, and Bella nodded.

I looked down at my watch and realized I had an hour before Nathan was due to be picked up.

We knocked on the door and were immediately told to come in.

Rosalie was sitting up in bed with a half eaten salad on the tray next to her. Joshua was resting in her arms, and she was glowing.

"Hey," I said as I walked up to peek at his face. It was hard to tell, but he looked like he had an even Cullen and Hale mix. At birth, Nathan was my spitting image, but as he got older, he developed more and more of Bella's features.

"May I?" I held out my arms, and, for a second, it looked like Rosalie was going to tell me no, but she placed the small wrapped up bundle in my arms. His eyes were closed, but he let out a yawn, and squirmed a bit, though he didn't cry. It had been a while since I'd held a baby this small, especially someone so precious to me.

"He's perfect." I looked up at Rosalie and smiled.

"Would you, I don't know," she sounded nervous, "look him over? It's not that I don't trust the doctor here, it's just, well, you're his uncle, and I know..."

"It's okay," I replied. "I can do that."

I walked over to the baby station they had in each labor and delivery room and pulled out the few things of the things I needed. I had spent many hours in these rooms, so finding things were second nature. I un-swaddled him from his blankets and took a look at his coloring, his hips, and did a once over on his body. I checked his temp, ears, but opted out of looking at his eyes, since he was sleeping.

"What were his apgar scores?" I asked, and Rosalie immediately spouted off nine and nine.

"He's positively perfect," I told her as I placed him back in her arms. "I'd love to stay longer, but I have to go pick up Nathan, he's looking forward to meeting his cousin, though."

"I'll go get him," Bella pipped up as I whipped around to her. If she'd left the house at three, she'd been up for almost twelve hours, and I thought she'd be more tired. Instead, her face looked slightly pained, so I didn't push and just nodded.

"I thought I'd be more tired," Rosalie said out loud. Emmett was snapping pictures and had said Alice and Jasper were on their way. Apparently, only Bella knew when Rose went into labor, so they were in Seattle for the day. Alice was not too thrilled and said they were about thirty minutes out.

"It's the adrenaline," I answered her unasked question. "It'll keep you up for a while. Getting Bella to rest was impossible, but it'll hit you soon enough."

Rosalie gave me an odd look before focusing her attention back on Joshua. He started to get fussy and Rose wasn't shy about nursing him, though I gave her some privacy and stayed in the corner.

Emmett walked over to me and quietly asked about my conversation with our father. I shook my head.

"Today, we celebrate your son. Tomorrow, you can ask me again, but trust me, somethings are just better off unsaid."

"You act like I don't know," he replied with a straight face. His eyes were fixed on Rose, but his voice remained even.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked quietly.

"I had my suspicions but never had proof. I thought I was looking too far into things, but it makes sense." He shrugged his shoulders, and I knew he wasn't going to take this revelation as hard as I did. To him, Dad was just Dad, not his role model.

"God, I hope Nathan never wants to disown me," I joked.

"I'm sure he will, but think about it this way, take everything our parents did, and, well, do the opposite. It's gotta at least give you better odds," he laughed, and I joined in.

"On a serious note, I'm sorry for not listening," I told him genuinely. Had I listened to Emmett, truly listened, all of this could have been avoided. There was no guarantee that I'd be with Bella, but, at least, Tanya would have been gone.

"I know you are," he answered, and that was it. There was no long drawn out talk or tears. He knew how much had changed, and was changing, and frankly, he had more important people to focus on right now, and I completely understood that.

Rosalie had just finished feeding Joshua when Bella showed back up with Nathan. He was bouncing with excitement as he started rattling off questions to Rose about all of the different things Joshua could do yet. Seeing him like this made me upset that he'd probably never have a sibling. When I looked over at Bella, she was also wearing a frown.

I walked over to her and lightly tapped her shoulder.

"You okay?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, just thinking," she replied.

"About?" I pushed.

"Just things, nothing we should get into here," she spoke in warning.

We stayed long enough to see Alice and Jasper who were both completely in love with Joshua. It was getting late, and I knew Bella had to have been exhausted.

I walked over to Rosalie and gave her a hug and offered my congrats once more before Bella, Nathan, and I left. We picked up food on the way home, and I helped Nathan with his homework while Bella relaxed for a while.

Our evening routine went by as normal, and Nathan was tucked in bed for the night. Bella was sitting on the couch when I came out, though, not reading like I figured she would be.

I sat down next to her and enjoyed the quiet for a few minutes. I knew there were still things we needed to talk about, but just enjoying her being near me was plenty at that point. Every night just seemed to be more topics to discuss, fix, work out, and so forth, and that was exhausting.

"You know, I thought my family was fucked up," Bella eventually broke the silence, and I laughed.

"Yes, well, it's great to be a Cullen," I joked back. Her words stung, but I wasn't going to let her see that. As crazy as we were, I was just thankful she hadn't taken Nathan and run for the hills, yet.

"I'm sorry, that was blunt, what I mean is, I'm surprised you turned out as normal as you are considering..." she trailed off.

"You think I'm normal?" I snorted.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"You could have turned out worse," she eventually stated.

"You must be tired," I let my statement hang.

"Not as much as you'd think. I'm really thankful Rose asked me to be there, though, it was an amazing experience." Her frown appeared again, and she looked away from me.

"I can imagine," I stated. "Bella, why didn't you just move on?"

It was the question I've wanted the answer to for months now, but had never had the strength to ask it. As amazing as she was, I didn't think she'd have an issue finding a date, yet she stayed single.

"Who said I didn't at one point?" she replied cryptically.

"You said..." I started, but she interrupted me.

"You asked if I had any boyfriends, and I answered honestly. That doesn't mean I hadn't seen anyone," she answered again, though, more cryptically than before.

"I don't understand," I finally gave up trying to dissect her words.

"Do you remember my first agent? You met a few times," she hinted, and I thought back to several years ago.

Hold on...her first agent was...Oh.

"Jane?" I asked shocked and she looked away from me again. I had my answer. Was this why she couldn't see something with me, because she was a lesbian? I mean, I assumed I had no chance with her under the circumstances, but she could have at least been honest about her orientation.

"Yeah, her," she replied uneasily.

"I didn't know you were a..." but she never let me finish.

"I'm not," she snapped. "I mean, I may be classified as bi, but I'm not a lesbian."

"Can you start from the beginning?" I asked, and she sighed.

"If you want the beginning, we have to go back to my mom." I nodded for her to continue.

"After my mom left my dad, she became some sort of rebel. I don't like to think about how...um, active, she was, but the men revolved out of her life like we changed clothes. Each guy had a new face, a different name, but they all had one thing in common...they never lasted long. We moved a lot and never had any stability.

"When I hit fifteen, things changed, and I found myself refusing to live with her. She moved me up to Charlie's, and we haven't talked since Nathan was born." She visibly shuddered, and I had known she wasn't on good terms with Renee. I could also tell she wasn't telling me the full story, but I respected that she'd need to open up to me in her own time.

"Anyways, after things ended with you, and we had Nathan, well I didn't want that for him. I said if I met someone I thought I could commit to I'd try, but then it never happened, so I didn't think about it. On the first overnight I went to Seattle, when I signed my first deal, we went out to celebrate. I was rooming with Jane to cut the cost down, and we had a little too much to drink. One thing lead to another, and it happened. I didn't think, I just acted, and I felt horrible in the morning.

"It took me a while to come to terms with what had happened, but when I did, I decided it wasn't a horrible thing. Jane who was a lesbian, and I was single and I didn't want casual sex with a guy. I didn't want to risk getting pregnant again, so whenever I'd go on overnights to Seattle with Jane, we'd um, have sex." She blushed, and the affect this story had on my body was too embarrassing to try to deny.

"It lasted for a while, a few years, actually, and though we both cared about each other, we knew where we stood. Jane eventually met Alexandra, and they got married recently. When Alex heard about Jane's prior arrangement with me, she became uncomfortable with us working together, and that was when I moved over to a new agent." She finished her story but still wasn't looking at me.

"Bella," I stated hoping she'd turn towards me, but she never did. I eventually placed my hand on her chin and turned her face towards me. "You don't have to be ashamed of this, and I don't think less of you for it."

She half smiled but shifted her eyes down again.

"Look, we all have a past, and, honestly, I'm kinda happy you had someone. I mean, it's not the type of someone you deserve, but you weren't alone," I explained.

"At least your skeletons are all out of the closet by now," she huffed. "Mine are just beginning."

I sat there for a second and tried not to choke on her words. The truth was, I had a few more confessions of my own to make and weighed on whether now would be a good or bad time to put mine out there.

"Um, Bella, since you're in the mood for sharing, perhaps, it'd be more even if I did too?" I asked.

She looked at me oddly for a second.

"What could you possible have to top that?" she challenged.

"Well, I'm not so sure I can top that, even if I tried, however, I do have a confession. When you asked me on the phone about needing to see a doctor about an STD panel, and I had told you I had just been checked, so you didn't need to go through the trouble of getting yourself checked...that was a lie." I took a deep breath and prepared myself for her to start yelling. She looked shocked and had opened her mouth to speak when I raised my hand. "The reason I told you not worry about it was not because I had just been checked, but because I was a virgin. I lied when I said I wasn't."

Now it was my turn to look away in shame.

"But...I don't..how...what? With your looks there had to have been..."

"Bella, I was a geek in school. I lived in Emmett's shadow and didn't have many friends. College was the first time I had pushed away from my family and the stereotype that went with it. I thought you'd think less of me, and by the time I had realized you weren't the type of girl who would have made fun of me for it, we'd broken up, so I didn't see the need to confess it anymore."

"Wow," she stated simply. "I don't get it, but I guess I understand."

"I'm sorry, I know it was stupid, and I'm not even sure why I said anything, I just didn't want you to think you had to be ashamed of what you did, when there was nothing wrong with it..." I rambled.

"God, we're idiots," she spoke to herself. I furrowed my brow in confusion. I mean, I was an idiot, but her...why? "So much time..." her voice trailed off, and I had to know what she was thinking. She turned to me and looked me dead in my eyes. "Do you ever hate me for not pushing harder with you?"

That was an interesting question that I contemplated for a few minutes. However, it reminded me of the conversation I had with Devon earlier about my own siblings trying to talk to me.

"I could never hate you for that, Bella. The truth is, it wouldn't have mattered. I would have listened, but I wouldn't have heard you. I didn't even listen to my own brother when he was screaming at me not to marry Tanya, and I did it anyways. If I wasn't listening to him, I wasn't going to hear anything else." I shook my head in disappointment with myself.

"Do you ever think that maybe this is how it was always meant to turn out?" she asked softly.

"I don't know, I hadn't thought about it that way. I only ever wanted you to be happy, Nathan too, and myself...just happy." I shook my head as emotions began to hit me, and I knew it wouldn't be long before they took over me for the night. I felt a warmth encompass my hand as I looked down to see Bella locking her fingers with mine.

"Are you happy now?" she whispered.

"More so than I have been in a while," I replied honestly, as I looked up at her. She looked so gorgeous sitting on the couch in just a tank and some sleep pants on, with her hair fanned out over her shoulders. Age had treated Bella well, as she looked as beautiful as she had in college.

I felt nerves creep up, and it felt like I was in high school all over again.

"Bella, I really want to kiss you right now," I told her in a roundabout way.

"I really don't think I'd object," she answered seconds later.

My eyes narrowed onto her lips, and, in perfect sync, our lips met. Our once intertwined hands released as I brought mine up to cup her cheek. I felt dizzy from the feelings and emotions pouring into this one singular kiss, and it was excruciating not to let it elevate further.

After a minute, I felt her hand tentatively trail up the back of my neck, and I knew my pants needed to be adjusted. Her soft lips slowly parted for me, and I started to massage my tongue with hers. We kisses for several minutes before we both pulled away panting.

I took her hand back and held onto it as we both calmed down. My body screamed at me to do that again, but it was my heart that stopped me. Rushing things would only end in failure, and I couldn't fail with Bella...not when, by the Grace of God, I'd been given a second chance.

"Edward," Bella croaked, and I knew she must have been feelings so many different things at once, because I was too. I could read her face like a book and curled her in my arms as her tears fell.

"I'm here," I whispered into her hair, and I felt her nod against my chest. "I know it's a lot to take in. I feel it too," I reassured her. She needed to know she wasn't the only one who was scared.

"I don't know how to do this," she eventually confessed. "I know we have to go slow, but then you do this, and I want to speed it up."

"Let me take you out," I offered and that caused her to sit up.

"Like on a date?" she asked and I shook my head.

"We'll do something low key, I can ask Alice to watch Nathan, and we'll get away for a few hours this weekend. We'll do this the right way," I stated with more confidence than I felt.

"Okay," she answered. "I'll let you take me on a date."

We parted company for the night after that, and I laid restless in my bed for the second night in a row. This time, instead of nervousness, I felt anxious. I wasn't sure where I was going to take Bella yet, but it needed to be perfect. She deserved perfect. And I knew, without a doubt, I was falling for her.

* * *

**I'm back...sorta! Tomorrow (Sunday) will start off the last hectic week I foresee in the near future! As a result, I don't have an ETA on Chapter 23. I can tell you, any, and ALL mistakes are my own! I was able to edit quickly, but didn't get my final read through-if I waited for tomorrow, my eyes are literally shutting on me now, you wouldn't see this chapter for a few days...so please, accept my apologies that it may not be close to perfect! I hope to have Chapter 23 up no later than mid week after next. And, from there, my updating schedule will go back to normal! Thank you all for your patience and understanding during this busy time for me!**

**So...date suggestions? LOL  
**

**Review replies this week will be a teaser for Chapter 23 & a special teaser for the Kate POV of Tanya's death that I wrote for the Charity dedicated towards the Flood Victims in Australia! **

**The next charity I am writing for is the Fandom Gives Back for Autism Awareness. I could do Nathan's POV of his fishing trip with Jacob & Charlie OR BPOV of her phone call with Charlie. Let me know what you'd like most to read!  
**

**I also decided to make a facebook page just for the fandom! It's SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction **http:/www(dot)facebook(dot)com/?ref=home#!/profile(dot)php?id=100002011260119&sk=wall

**Blind Intentions is up for A Shimmer Award for Best Tear Jerker! Voting is now open! **http:/shimmerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/nominees(dot)html

**My contest is now up and running, feel free to check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~pickyourownadventurecontest


	24. Chapter 23

**Welcome Back to Blind Intentions! WOO HOO!  
**

**Thank you to kas90, morethanmyself, devonmaid, and jadmama for helping with this chapter! A special thanks to Just4Ale for picking the song featured in this chapter!  
**

**I don't own Twilight, I will never claim to own Twilight, and I swear I will never try to publish this story, after only changing the names of the Twilight cast it originated with ;)  
**

* * *

I felt the light from the sun heat my skin, but it didn't make me want to open my eyes. Visions of my kiss with Bella danced through my head, and throughout my dreams the night before, and I knew, as soon as I opened my eyes, the memories would disappear.

The night before had been nothing less than shocking. I knew that it was naive of me to assume Bella had never been with anyone else but me, but I still hadn't expected her to say Jane. I didn't look down on her, nor think any less of her, but I knew there was more to the story, and I hoped, in time, she would open up to me about it. From everything she had said, and how she acted, I was merely assuming Jane was no more than a sense of comfort. If she had been more, surely, she would have said something before now.

Today marked a busy day for us. Nathan had an appointment with Dr. Banner, and I needed to talk to Alice. On one hand, I did want to see if she could watch Nathan for a few hours this weekend, but on the more important side, I knew my time was running out to reconnect with my sister. I still felt the heavy blow I'd been given from her words, but as much as they hurt, I understood them. Had the roles been reversed, I would have had probably felt the same way.

After a quick shower and change, I was greeted by a smiling Bella and Nathan who was chewing his breakfast.. I smiled and nodded in their direction as I poured myself a cup of coffee and grabbed a muffin.

"Are you both dropping me off today?" Nathan asked out of nowhere.

Bella and I exchanged a glance, and I shrugged. I knew Bella would drop him off whether I was there or not, and I had no problem tagging along. Bella had mentioned some errands she needed to do today, and I had some as well before we had to meet up this afternoon to leave for Banner's.

"Sure," I answered, and Bella smiled again.

We all piled into Bella's car a few minutes later and left for Nathan's school. .

He chatted aimlessly about the party, and about all the new ideas his Auntie Alice had filled his head with. The only thing I could do was smile, nod, and promise to make it happen, regardless of the cost. I had a feeling Bella would be cringing before it was all said and done, but I doubted she'd protest. Nathan was going to have the best 'End of the Year Pool Bash' this town had ever seen...well, best party this town had ever seen, regardless, but that wasn't the point.

It was rare that anyone showed their wealth so blatantly, because when you lived in a small town like Forks, it didn't matter. The community came together when people needed it, and those who had more, gave more. It was one of the aspects that immediately drew me into Forks when I visited for the first time. Everyone had smiled, waved, and called me by my name. I was never 'Sir,' or, 'Dr. Cullen' outside of the hospital...I was just Edward. I appreciated the laid back atmosphere, and a pang of sadness washed over me when I remembered my thoughts from the day before. As much as I loved Forks, I couldn't stay here.

Alice was leaving, I didn't know of Emmett or Rosalie's plans, but I didn't think they'd stay here forever but more than that, the memories of my parents and Tanya haunted me at every turn. I logically knew Tanya was dead, I had all but kicked my parents out of my life, but the memories and feelings were still there. Broaching the topic with Bella was going to be hard, and if she told me there was no way she'd leave, I'd make it work, one way or another. I would not be the piece that separated our family now that we were just getting it back together.

Nathan jumped out of the car after a reminder that we'd be picking him up a little early to see Dr. Banner.

"What do we tell him?" Bella asked after Nathan walked away and was out of sight, through the double doors to his classroom.

"The truth?" I questioned back with a shrug. I knew what she meant, even though it wasn't spoken out loud.

Bella and I had spent too much time agonizing over how to break the news to Nathan. We weren't sure how he would react, and the last thing either one of us wanted to see was the re-appearance of _Jimmy_...who, thus far, had been kept at bay since Christmas.

"How do you think he'll take it?" she prodded, and I shrugged.

"I really don't know. I think, on one hand, he'll be relieved, but at his age, he'll feel guilty for being relieved," I explained. I had done a child psych rotation and had two classes in college dealing with child psychology and child development. Nathan was at a difficult age, because he understood the meaning behind life and death, and though he'd feel sympathetic that she had died, the logical side of his brain would feel relieved that she could no longer hurt him. For an eight year old, that would be a tough pill to swallow, but I knew with the support of Banner, Bella, and me, we would see Nathan through to the other side.

"Did you just want me to drop you back at home?" Bella asked as we drove further away from the school, and I nodded.

* * *

Three knocks on the door and my palms were sweaty, my heart was racing, and I reasonably felt like I was going to vomit. All three reactions were crazy, considering I was just outside the door of my sister's house, but given what I knew now, seeing her made me anxious. I didn't want to tiptoe, but I also didn't want to accidentally hurt her. It took a lot of guts for Alice to spill her heart to me, and I didn't want to set off a trigger.

The 'For Sale' sign mocked me from the lawn as I contemplated leaving. I had already waited about a minute, and I wondered if she simply wouldn't answer the door. Her car was in the driveway, but she could be asleep, taking a shower, or she just didn't want to see me.

I was about to turn my back to the door when I heard steps pad down her front hallway. Her tiny form could be seen through the paned glass, and, with the twist of a knob, the door swung open.

She greeted me with a tight smile.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"Why don't you come in?" she prompted, so I followed her inside and to the living room.

We both took a seat inside, with me on the sofa and her in an over-sized arm chair that looked like it could swallow her whole.

"Thank you," I blurted out after a second, and I mentally began to lash myself for being such a spaz.

_This was my sister! _

"You look like you've seen a ghost. Is something wrong? Nathan? Bella?" Alice asked with an eerily calm tone to her voice.

"No...um, no. I just, well, I wanted to talk to you," I rambled on aimlessly.

"Okay, what would you like to talk about?" she pushed.

"Um, is Jasper at work?" I blurted the first thing that came to mind.

Alice tilted her head to the side and broke out laughing. I was shocked for a second before my own lips cracked into a smile, because for the first time, in a long time, I felt like I was looking at the Alice I remembered; fun, carefree, and happy...always so happy.

"I'm sorry," I eventually choked out.

"It's okay, but, yes, Jasper, is at work," she answered as she calmed down. "Why are you here?"

"I actually wanted to talk to you," I answered, and she nodded her head for me to continue. "I actually came for two parts, and before I get to the second part, I want you to know I'm here because I really want to talk to you. I feel like so much came out the other night, and that I want to spend what time I can with you, while we're still living near each other. I don't know if that works for you, but I want it to, even if it is entirely selfish, but you're my sister, and I love you. Nothing will ever change that, whether you're five minutes or five hours from me, or however far away you're going. I just don't want to leave you with unhappy memories. I still want to be able to visit you, and you visit us, not just for Nathan, but for me, too." I rambled as Alice sat there. I went to take a breath, when she finally interrupted.

"Edward," she called out my name, and I immediately wanted to snap to let me finish.

"What?" I did snap harder than I wanted to.

"Edward?" she said again, this time in a more chastising tone.

"Yes?" I took a deep breath.

"Slow down, you can speak without rushing," she answered softly, and I continued.

"Look, I know we didn't grow up in the happiest of families, but, at the time, I thought we did. I see now how wrong I was, and I'm not sure how much Emmett has told you about yesterday, or if at all, but I see now what I didn't see then.

"I know it doesn't fix what happened, but I hope we can, at least, get to a better place as siblings. I really do love you, Alice, none of this was ever your fault." I finally stopped talking now that I had gotten my point out, and that was when I finally took into view my sister's face. Where she looked cool and calm seconds earlier, now had silent tears rolling down her cheeks, and I instantly felt horrible at my obvious lack of boundaries. In my attempt to put myself out there, I'd hurt her, and that wasn't what I had come here to do. I felt like even more of an ass when she specifically stopped me to tell me not to rush.

I blew it.

I silently stood up and motioned to leave, figuring Alice would want me gone anyways, when I noticed her jump out of her chair and barrel for me. Her small arms wrapped around my waist, and it took a second for my brain to process that she was hugging me. I tentatively placed my own arms around her and brought her close to me.

I heard her whisper, 'Thank you', and immediately felt confused, but I stayed silent.

We pulled apart, and sat back down in our respected spots.

She stared at me, as I stared at her, but neither of us moved to speak.

Time continued to pass, and a wave of understanding passed through us without having to say another word. Part of me still wanted to talk to her, but I knew now wasn't the time. I let my feelings be known, they were well received, and, now, Alice needed time to process it all. Knowing this made it easier when Alice jumped to a completely separate topic at hand, literally giving me whiplash at her drastic change of mood.

"What was the second part?" Alice eventually asked, and I creased my eyebrows together to try to remember the other reason that had brought me here.

"Oh, um, I was wondering if you guys could watch Nathan for a few hours this Saturday," I asked after remembering I still needed a babysitter if I was going to take Bella out. Bella was still barely talking to Charlie, and Emmett was understandably busy.

"Sure, is Bella doing something that night?" she asked casually, but I knew better.

"Uh, yeah, we're going to go out..." Before I could say another word, I was cut off.

"You're taking Bella on a date?" Alice's eyes widened, and I could see the beginning form of a smile form on her lips.

"Well, yes," I answered hesitantly, and she began to bounce in her chair.

"I knew, I knew...hell, we knew! Rosalie was so right!" Alice cheered to herself as I sat there in silence, not knowing what she meant by, 'I knew." "Oh right, of course, we'll watch him. Now, where are you taking her?"

Before I could answer, Alice started rambling about all of the hot spots in the area. Different restaurants in the Port Angeles area, fun outdoorsy type places to go, and on and on and on. I didn't commit to any one idea, because, the truth was, I still hadn't decided.

Before I left, she gave me another small hug and explained her earlier comment. Her 'thank you' was for telling her the one thing she'd always wanted to hear...that it wasn't her fault. She also alluded to Emmett explaining what had been discovered, and that she had no idea. She was a lot less shocked than she thought she should have been. I left Alice's a ton lighter than when I'd first arrived, and I truly felt like, before Alice moved, we'd be in a better place than we had been for the past several years...or ever, really.

* * *

As I pulled into the driveway, I realized Bella's car was in her normal spot. I had assumed her earlier plans would take her longer, but with only an hour before it was time to pick up Nathan and head to Port Angeles, I wondered if she had cut her errands short.

I heard the music before I saw her...an iPod sat on the kitchen counter blaring while Bella sang and danced around to, I Got A Feelin, by the Black Eyed Peas. Her hips were shaking from side to side as her feet moved to the beat of the music. Though her voice was off key, it was still insanely adorable and surprisingly erotic. I realized I had been staring for too long, but with her back to me, she had no idea I was home yet. The music was too loud to hear the door when I first came in, but I saw Bella's cell phone attached to her hip...I assumed on vibrate.

"Bella?" I called out, and she screamed.

"What are you doing here?" she yelled over the music, but before I could step to turn it down, she was already on it.

"Um, coming home..." I replied lamely, and she started to blush.

"Sorry, I just, well, I wasn't expecting you, yet, and...wow, awkward." Her face was still crimson, but she angled her head down as she brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. Not only did she look gorgeous, but also very temping, which was exactly where I did not need my thoughts to go.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed, that was cute. I didn't know you danced." My attempts to calming her only caused her to go to a shade of red I had never seen before.

"I was just making Nathan's favorite dessert. I figured if he has a bad session it'll be comforting after dinner," Bella explained, and I nodded. That was really thoughtful of her, and I admired how she was one step ahead of the game.

"Strawberry shortcake?" I asked, and she nodded.

"So you have been paying attention," she mused.

"Of course," I answered almost defensively, though I knew I shouldn't have been.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for," she backpedalled, but I shook my head.

"Nah, just the truth, as much as I may hate it."

I walked over to where she was and offered my help. She had me cut the stems off the last few strawberries that would top the cake, while she made the whip cream. We chatted aimlessly, while continuing to watch the clock. Bella told me she went to visit Rosalie, who was hopeful to be home later that afternoon, and I gave her the abridged version of my conversation with Alice.

The cake was placed in the refrigerator, and we were off to get Nathan with just five minutes to spare before we absolutely had to be on the road. I was surprised when Bella started talking about Alice on the drive to the school.

"I'm glad you finally told her the one thing she needed to hear," she commented.

"You knew?" I asked, unsure of how I'd react if I knew she kept something like this from me.

"Not in so many words, but I read it between the lines. Alice always felt like she did something wrong to lose the love of your mom, and even though I knew it wasn't that, there was nothing I could say. I didn't realize, until recently, how she really felt about living in your shadow," Bella answered.

"I didn't realize I had a shadow to live in," I replied offhandedly.

"Really?" Bella questioned, and I nodded my head.

"What I thought I knew, I didn't. And, that stands for a lot of things, but in the case of Alice, I really had no idea she felt that way." I wanted to be honest with Bella, for so many reasons, but it was hard to continually explain how naive I had been about my own life, for as long as it had gone on. I wanted Bella and I to have a chance...wherever it lead us. More importantly, I also wanted her to know she could rely on me, seek comfort and security from me, but there would be no way to foster that type of relationship if she always had to second guess how attentive I was with my life. I wanted to show Bella that I could be the type of man that deserved her, not just because we had a son together, but because I genuinely wanted to be with her.

* * *

"Welcome back, Nathan," Dr. Banner greeted us at the door.

I gave him an odd look, but he didn't explain why his receptionist wasn't at her normal desk. He immediately ushered Nathan into the play room, but stayed back to speak with Bella and I before entering.

"Any episodes I need to be aware of?" he asked, just like he did before every session, but I shook my head no.

"There was something we needed to talk to you about, though," Bella pipped up causing Dr. Banner to swing his attention to her.

"Okay," he prompted. Bella began to relay the story of Tanya's death, and I filled in the pieces were she faltered. Dr. Banner remained quiet the entire time before stating out loud that Nathan didn't know. It wasn't a question, because he knew this was why we were coming to him.

"I think it would be best to have our session with both of you involved. This isn't news, or a situation, that I should handle alone." I noticed the word 'should' stood out, versus Banner saying that he couldn't. As Nathan's parents, this was our job...he was just our back-up.

Bella and I walked into the playroom with Dr. Banner a short step behind us. Nathan looked up, and he immediately had confusion written all over his face.

"Why are you in here?" Nathan asked as Bella and I took a seat on the floor near him.

"Well, we have something we'd like to discuss with you," Bella started, but Nathan started to shake his head. He was panicking.

"You're moving out, aren't you?" he immediately snapped at me as he jumped up off the floor. "This can't be happening, you said you wouldn't leave me again, why are you leaving..."

"What? No, Nathan, no, I'm not moving out," I answered quickly to try and calm his nerves. I moved to stand up, but, instead, he tackled me to the ground.

"You can never leave," he whispered, and I was left dumbstruck. Part of me wanted to tell him I'd never go, but I didn't know the future, and I knew, if things didn't work out with Bella, the idea of living together forever probably wasn't going to be on the table.

"I'm always here for you," I reaffirmed back in his ear, and I felt his head nod. He let go of me and took his position on the floor, with a teary-eyed Bella staring at him.

"Oh, um, okay, then why are you in here?" he asked again, his voice only slightly calmer.

"Nathan," I started and looked up at Bella, who gave me a small nod. "Your Papa Charlie called a few days ago to give us some more information on Tanya." I watched his small body immediately tense, and I felt waves of guilt that he was even in this position to begin with. "They found her, and she's passed on."

"What do you mean?" he whispered. His eyes darted back between Bella and I, and even to Dr. Banner, a few times.

"She's dead, Nathan; Tanya passed away," Bella explained and extended her hand to his. He took it but remained silent.

Bella and I had to explain death to Nathan when he was about four, after his pet goldfish died. We explained what 'passing on' meant, and that fish went to Heaven, and Nathan vowed never to have a pet again...letting us know that 'passing on' was not a nice thing to do, because he wanted his goldfish back. When I offered to replace it, he told me no, that he wanted it to 'not be passed on.'

"When?" he inquired.

"It's been a while, but it took a long time to find her. Then, they made sure it was her, which took time, and now, well, she can't hurt you anymore," I replied gently. I wanted to spare Nathan the details of exactly how she died, given the gruesome nature, but, if later on he wanted to know more, I'd share it with him.

"I don't know what to say," he spoke frankly, and I only nodded. I figured he would be speechless and would need time to work this out on his own before becoming vocal about his feelings.

Dr. Banner interjected that we should all play with the toys scattered around, and when Nathan was ready to talk, we could come back as a group.

Nathan quietly played with the same action figured he normally did, while Bella and I worked on a puzzle together. Each one of us glancing at Nathan every so often.

Bella was worried. I could tell by the look on her face, but I chose a few moments when Nathan wasn't paying attention to interlink our hands and gently squeeze, letting Bella know that I was here.

Our puzzle was complete, and Nathan was still in his own little world. That remained for the rest of his session. When Dr. Banner tried prompting him with a few questions before he left, he shrugged him off and didn't say much. At dinner that night, he thanked Bella for dessert, but mainly pushed the food around and asked to go to bed early.

The night was a difficult night for both Bella and I, because as much as we wanted to make him talk to us, we knew the consequences of those actions, and they'd come in the form of Jimmy. Neither one of us wanted that, so we vowed to let Nathan come to us, whenever that would be.

Bella and I sat down on the couch together and started to do our own thing. I was reading a new medical journal that had come out, and Bella was reading Withering Heights for the ten millionth time.

"Aren't you sick of that book yet?" I commented as I passed by to refill my glass. I eyed Bella's half-empty glass of Coke, and came back in with more for her, as well.

"Every time I read it, I see something new, so no, I'm not," she answered back in a daze. Though she was talking to me, her eyes never averted away from the book. I wasn't sure if it was because she was avoiding talking to me, or because she was just so in tune with her book.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?" she replied back, again without looking up from th pages.

"Are you ignoring me, or are you just that into your book?" I knew my question was direct, but I felt like I had to be. I wasn't sure exactly what label Bella and I had yet, and I knew communication would be the only way for anything to evolve.

"I'm sorry." She looked up with a sad look, giving me a small smile. "I just really like this part."

I chuckled and patted the seat next to me on the chaise. She eyed the spot reluctantly for a minute, and I almost regretted asking, until she stood up and sat down directly next to me. The warmth of her body lit the left side of my body on fire. Tentatively, I felt Bella's body relax into mine, as my arm instinctually moved up and draped around her shoulder, while she laid her head down on my chest...all the while, never loosing concentration from her book. It took me a minute to decide exactly where to put my hand, and I finally settled just above her waist on the side. Her tank top had ridden up a bit, and her soft skin felt like silk under my fingertips. Though it was torture, it was worth it just to sit contently together, both reading, and just enjoying the company of the other. Bella and I didn't need idle conversations about nothing, and I dared to hope that this could become more of a permanent fixture in our lives.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by in its normal fashion.

I had finished up all of the paperwork needed for my lawyer, and even put a phone call into my ex-in-laws about what they wanted done with Tanya's possessions. On that phone call, I was called a slew of colored words, accused of murdering their daughter, and then proceeded to be told were her belongings could be sent.

I called a local cleaning and packing service. They were under strict instructions to clean the house...any big items of value, such as furniture and clothes, were to be donated, and any of Tanya's old memento's, or anything that looked of value to her, would be sent to her parents. All important documents, pictures, and such were to be boxed up and left waiting for me. After speaking with the owner, and after giving my strict instructions, I let him know that, by the time I stepped back into that house, I wanted it to be bare. He assured me it would be done.

When Bella asked me why I wasn't doing all of this myself, I confessed about my break down the few days before. If just entering the master bedroom had made me throw pictures frames around, I wasn't sure what else I would do...and frankly, I wasn't sure I was mentally up for that task or not. She gave me her support and told me if I needed any help to just ask.

My realtor assured me she could have the house on the market as soon as I wanted it gone, and I told her she could begin drawing up whatever papers she needed to make that happen. I wanted it gone.

Of course, that meant a lot of airtime talking to my lawyer who went over all the necessary paperwork to ensure Tanya was out of my life for good, and her parents got her life insurance and possessions. At the end of the day, I just wanted it all done with so I could move on. Despite spending several years with her, I think I was checked out of our marriage so long ago that her death wasn't affecting me emotionally. My biggest regret, after learning what she had done to Nathan, was not killing her myself.

The phone call I didn't expect to make was to an old friend named Jeffrey. We roomed in the same building in college, and though we didn't talk often, he graduated a year after me and became an architect. I was looking into floor plans for an office building I wanted to eventually build, and start my own practice in, but I wanted to talk to him about ideas. After explaining a rough idea of the set up I was thinking, he told me he'd get a few sets of blueprints out to me to look at.

There was no real change with Nathan. Bella and I had sat and waited for a huge, massive, overwhelming reaction to the news of Tanya, but Nathan didn't seem to be phased by it. He revealed small clues throughout the past few days about how he felt safer now, and he was happy I wasn't moving, but, for the first time, both Bella and I were happy we received an under-reaction to the news. Nathan continued to talk about school, his friends, and his party...and, for that, I was grateful the news didn't cause a more violent reaction out of him.

* * *

"Why am I going to Aunt Alice's?" Nathan asked for the millionth time.

"I already explained, your mom and I have errands to run, and we thought you'd be happier playing games with your Uncle Jasper then being stuck in a car," I answered with my face turned away, because I wasn't sure I'd be able to lie to his face.

"Whatever," he sighed dramatically and left the room. Nathan was perceptive, but we both hoped to keep our 'dating' under wraps for, at least, a little while longer.

"Nathan, tone," I spoke sharply right as he got out the door. I heard him mutter a 'sorry' and went back to folding laundry I had done earlier in the day.

"So, I'm going to go drop him off?" Bella popped her head in, and I nodded at her. Though I offered to go with her, she had told me no, because she wanted to make it look like she was immediately heading to Port Angeles for a meeting with her agent.

As soon as I heard the door shut, I rushed into action.

First, I quickly changed out of my clothes and into a navy polo shirt, and a nicer pair of jeans. I attempted to mess with my hair, but failed, and gave , I quickly checked to make sure everything I'd prepared earlier in the kitchen was still all accounted for and began packing the basket.

I had driven myself mad coming up with ideas for the perfect first date with Bella, but everything fell short of what I really wanted to do. I didn't want to just bring her out to dinner, or sit through a movie, and I didn't want to go somewhere with a lot of people. I decided that, no matter what, it would be perfect because it was with Bella, and that was how I decided on a picnic lunch at a park in Port Angeles.

Though Forks had several areas we could picnic in, they were all too public, and I wasn't sure how fast Bella wanted people to know we were trying to establish a relationship. I also didn't want to be interrupted, and that was more likely to happen in Forks.

All I wanted was Bella and me on a blanket, snacking on foods, and talking. There was still so much I wanted to learn about her, and though it was nice connecting every night after Nathan went to bed, we still had to be guarded in case he woke up.

Before Bella walked in the door, I had the basket packed, the blanket set out, and was just about to load the car when the door flung open. Bella smiled and dashed into her room to get ready. I shouldn't have been shocked when 5 minutes later Bella was ready to go, and we were off to Port Angeles.

* * *

"This is really nice," she commented once we had gotten settled under an old oak tree.

When Bella walked out of her room, I though my heart had stopped beating. She wore a simple blue dress with a white sweater. It was really flowy and swayed with her every step. Her hair was down around her shoulders, and she put on a pair of sandals. She wasn't overly dressy, or under dressed...she just looked perfect.

The drive up was peaceful and quiet, and despite asking me a few times where we were going, I just shook my head.

Now that we were at the park, the sun started to peek through the cloudy sky, and though there were a few children running around the playgroup several yards away, we had the illusion of privacy around us.

"I'm glad you like it," I choked out. My nerves were at an all time high, and it took ever ounce of courage I had not to let my hands tremble in fear. I began pulling out the prepared tray of fruits, cheeses, crackers, and meats that I had made up the night before. I included a bottle of wine, water, and juice, because I had no clue what Bella would prefer to drink. And, of course, two glasses.

Bella reached for the glasses while nodding her head at the wine; so with the pop of a cork, the red liquid filled our glasses.

For a while we just sat there and took small sips of wine, nibbling at food, but not talking. We would look at each other and smile, then focus our attention on our surroundings, and back at each other again. And, as much as I enjoyed the quiet, I truly did love talking to her.

"How is your book coming?" My voice shook a bit with unrelenting nerves, but she smiled and pulled the glass down from her mouth.

"Better...still not where I want it to be, but at least I'm writing," she answered me with a smile. Bella had been honest with me about her struggles with her latest book, and though I didn't have much experience to relate on, I patiently sat and let her vent to me as she needed to.

"Good, I know that was frustrating there for a while." She looked sad for a moment, after my statement, but quickly recovered. When I furrowed my brows indicating confusion, she shook her head, and I knew not to ask.

"What about you? Any plans on work yet?" she inquired, and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I miss being a doctor, but I can't go back to the hospital. I'm not sure where that leaves me, yet," I answered her as honestly as I could have been. The truth was, I wanted my own practice, but I also wanted a plan in place before I began talking to her about it. And it wasn't because I didn't value her input, it was that I didn't even know if it was a true option yet, and I didn't want to get her excited for something that could potentially fall through.

"You'll figure it out." Her hand reached for mine, and she squeezed gently. My eyes fixed on our now intertwining fingers, and I felt happy...Bella was truly giving me a chance. Our hands came down to rest on the blanket, but they never came apart, and Bella even inched her body closer to mine to keep the hold.

Bella and I begun talking about smaller things...the weather, Nathan, and even the uncomfortable conversation she knew she'd have to have with Charlie soon. Every few minutes I'd notice her eyes travel to the playgroup, and though I knew she was listening to me, she was also focusing her attention elsewhere. I was patient with her, and I didn't want to call her out for it, but after twenty minutes of the same behavior, I finally looked in the same direction.

A little girl in a pink dress could be seen running around the playground, with who looked to be an older brother. He would help her down the slides, then on the monkey bars, and the slides once more. The child couldn't have been more than two or three, and the little boy, probably close to ten, maybe even eleven.

When I looked back to Bella, I noticed her eyes appeared sad, even though her face wore a smile. It didn't take me long to for it to click at what she was seeing...the little boy was a solid representation of Nathan, and the little girl was someone she wanted, but truly thought she'd never have.

"Bella, do you ever think you'll want more?" I bluntly asked, because I didn't feel skirt tailing this issue would end well. Or, at least, not with a truthful answer.

"I've always wanted more, it's just, I'm not sure it'll ever happen." She sighed and looked back at the now empty playground. "Kind of a heavy topic for a first date," she commented offhandedly, with a small smile when she looked back.

"I saw it, too." I let my comment hang because she needed to know we were on the same page on this topic. I did want more children, I just didn't want them with Tanya, and though I haven't been the perfect father, I still felt like I wasn't done. I loved Nathan with all of my heart, but I always felt someone was missing.

"Is that something you want?" Bella choked out. "I mean, in the future, of course."

"It is." I nodded my head. "I'd love at least one more, maybe two. You?"

"The same," she answered, focusing her attention to the sky.

"Bella, are you ever going to tell me about your mom?" I asked. Since we were on the topic of children, and delving into the heavy, I felt like it was an appropriate time to ask the one question I'd been wanting to for a while.

I heard her sigh before she laid back on the blanket. I pushed the basket out of the way and laid back next to her. Our elbows were touching, and even that alone sent sparks through my body.

"My mom was, well, not quite as crazy as yours," she started to joke, and even I joined in the laughter. I really didn't want her mentioned, but I could hear the nerves in Bella's voice. "She was a free-spirit I guess, though she acted more like a teenager. She blamed my dad for getting her pregnant, and even though she left with me, she didn't want me.

"We bounced around areas a lot, and I think she had a new boyfriend every week or so. A few of the men would stick around longer, but for the most part it was like a revolving door. Anyways, I focused on school, and I read a lot. I had dreams of running off to college to get away, and for a while, I considered calling my dad. She lead me to believe he didn't want me, so even though I had his phone number, I never used it.

"When I got my learners permit, she started to teach me how to drive. I'd only had it for a few months when I came home to find her crying hysterically. It took me a while to calm her down, but she asked me if I'd drive her to a clinic to get an abortion. She'd just taken a test, and it was positive, but she didn't want the guy to know, and the clinic told her she needed a ride." Bella's tone turned angrier with every word.

"I told her no, and she hit me. Slapped me clear across the face, but I kept saying no. I didn't want her to go through with it, but she did it anyways. I finally decided I couldn't live with her anymore. When I saw her, I saw the face of a murderer, and I gave in and called my dad.

"He was shocked to hear from me, but wanted me, none the less. While she was at her 'procedure,' as she called it, I took a cab to an airport and left. She called me a few days later and asked where I was, and she was shocked to learn I was in Washington."

"Wow." I was speechless. Finally knowing the truth explained Bella's immediate and vile reaction to the mere mention of 'options' when we first conceived Nathan. And, I knew Bella was strong, but I couldn't imagine being fifteen and having my mom ask me to drive her to and from an abortion clinic. "I'm not sure what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I talked to her off and on for a while until I got pregnant with Nathan. She called me drunk, screamed at me for ruining my life just like she had, and I hung up. I never took another call again, and she stopped trying. I don't even know where she is anymore, and, honestly, I don't care to. She wasn't a mother, she was an egg donor," Bella's voice now reeked of acid.

"Well," I started as I rolled onto my side so my body was angled slightly over her. "I'm glad she had you. You gave me our son, and for that, I will be eternally grateful."

"That hasn't always been easy, you know." Bella poked my arm.

"I know, but it doesn't make my gratitude any less significant." I stared down into her eyes, and my mouth opened to speak before my brain caught up with it. "Next time around, it'll be better."

_Fuck!_

_Did I just say that out loud?_

I immediately rolled back down to my back and threw my hands over my face. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"It's okay, though I agree you're about a hundred steps ahead of yourself, the idea isn't repulsive to me." Bella's voice sounded so honest, I almost felt like I was hearing things.

I gradually pulled my hands away from my face and rolled back onto my side.

"Really?" I asked cautiously.

"Who knows? Maybe, I mean, we never thought we'd be here, so I guess anything is possible." She shrugged, and though her body language appeared to be that of indifference, her eyes told another story. The glow she'd lost seeing those two children play was now back.

"May I kiss you?" I asked nervously.

"Are you going to ask every time?" Bella challenged.

"Um..."

"Yes, you can kiss me, but the asking part, well, that may get annoying."

She didn't need to tell me twice before my lips were one hers. Her mouth slowly parted seconds later, allowing my tongue entrance into her mouth. My hand came up to trail her jaw and down her side, and I felt Bella shiver beneath my touch. We continued to kiss for several minutes until I pulled away. We were both left panting, and for the first time, I saw everything I had ever thought I wanted...and she was laying down right in front of me.

I wasn't sure how, and I wasn't sure when, but I was going to make Bella mine...officially and forever. Now, I just had to convince her of that.

* * *

**WOO HOO! An update...sorry, but good news is, real life is back to normal! Next update should be in about a week! For those asking, this should wrap up within the next 3-4 updates.  
**

**Review replies this week will be a teaser for Chapter 24 aka The Party :)  
**

**I have pieces in the Fandom Against Domestic Violence which you can buy now, The Fandom Against Parkinson's, and the Fandom For The Floods!  
**

**I also decided to make a facebook page just for the fandom! It's SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction **http:/www(dot)facebook(dot)com/?ref=home#!/profile(dot)php?id=100002011260119&sk=wall

**My contest is now up and running, feel free to check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~pickyourownadventurecontest


	25. Chapter 24

**Welcome Back to Blind Intentions! WOO HOO!  
**

**Thank you to kas90, morethanmyself, devonmaid, and jadmama for helping with this chapter!  
**

**I don't own Twilight, and I will never claim to own Twilight.**

**I'm a little loopy thanks to some Robitussin so all mistakes are my own!  
**

* * *

After our first date, Bella and I fell into an easier than normal routine. One day a week we would let Alice watch Nathan, but we never went out on the same night. We used every excuse we could think of to ensure he wouldn't catch on, but I was pretty certain he knew something was up.

"So, where are you taking Mom tonight?" Nathan asked out of the blue as I stood gobsmacked, for a moment, before stammering out my trusted excuse..

"Nathan, I already told you, I have an appointment with my Realtor." I gave my programmed answer and hoped he would drop it...of course, what eight year old would?

"You're lying," he stated simply. "You never look me in the eye when you lie."

Damn it. Not only was he right...but he knew it, too.

"Nathan..." I started with a warning tone, but he backed off.

"I'll have fun with Aunt Alice; we have to finish our plans." He rubbed his hands together mischievously, and I cracked a smile. Leave it to an eight year old to switch gears so quickly.

Alice planned on having Nathan back bright and early so they could begin preparations for his party the next afternoon. I was terrified to know the head count for the final guest list, and Alice never volunteered the information. I just continued to funnel her money and stow shipments away in the garage.

However, that made me even more nervous for tonight...it was our first night alone. When I had asked Bella to go over the plans with me, she had brushed me off. And then again when Nathan went to school. I thought she was nervous about having Nathan spend the night at Alice's, but she seemed more defensive and guarded than nervous or anxious.

I had to admit that tonight made me nervous. We would have the house to ourselves, and though time had flown, I wasn't sure how far Bella wanted to go, or what was even on the table. In truth, I wasn't even sure if I was ready to take the next step physically. I still had questions about Jane, and I didn't want to jump into anything feet first without thinking things through.

Bella and I had grown a lot closer, and I didn't want to risk that falling. Everyday that I spent with her made my heart open up more, and I could vividly see a clear path to the end. That, of course, was until today.

Last night I had stayed up crunching numbers on some of the areas I was researching. I had chosen cities across the country as possible places to settle down in- one as close as Seattle, and one as far as Florida. I had compared cost of livings, doctor to patient ratios, school districts, housing, and everything in between. I knew Bella could technically work from anywhere, but I knew she needed the quiet. Cities like New York, Chicago, Detroit, Dallas, and the like were immediately taken off the list. I also didn't know how far she'd feel comfortable moving away from Charlie, or if she'd feel comfortable at all. In fact, I had stayed up later doing my research so that I could be ready to broach the topic with her tonight. I wanted my research to be solid so she would got into it knowing all of the facts.

Jeff had sent me several different blueprint copies, and I had it narrowed down to two, but the final decision would depend largely on Bella and if she wanted to move. If she didn't, my back up was to open a practice in Port Angeles. Forks was not an option, but there were still enough people in Port Angeles to sustain one. It wasn't what I wanted, but having Bella happy was worth the compromise. Though, I still prayed that she'd agree to move.

Bella and I dropped Nathan off together, and despite Bella's laundry list of do's and don'ts, I was excited to be out of there in under ten minutes. This was the first time Nathan had been left overnight since Rosalie and Emmett had Joshua, and it was still as nerve wracking as the first time.

A week after our first date Bella, announced to me that she had inally decided to call a therapist and set up a meeting. After her first session, she came home and cried in my arms for an hour. She never told me what happened, but she didn't need to. All that mattered was that I was there to comfort her, and though I hated seeing her in pain, I felt like I was on top of the world knowing she chose to come to me. After about a week's worth of sessions, she called Charlie, and it had been a slow process of getting them back on the right track. I knew Charlie apologized profusely, and I knew Bella accepted that, but their relationship hadn't just bounced back. However, I think Bella really saw the effort Charlie was putting forth when he pulled me aside and apologized. I knew, from a father's point of view the position he was in, and it took me a while to see he only wanted what was best for Bella. He told me he was not only proud of her, but also of me...it was the first time he saw me becoming the man I should have always been, and he wanted nothing more than for Bella to be happy...even if that meant she chose me.

The warm aura from Bella when we dropped Nathan off turned arctic as soon as we hit the car. Ice could have hailed from the roof, and it wouldn't have been an exaggeration.

When we hit the driveway, Bella was the first to jump out and zoom into the house. Frustrated, I followed after her and watched her curl up on the couch with a book.

_At least it's not her bedroom,_ I thought. That room had still been relatively off limits to me, and I wouldn't have pushed her had she went in there.

I had to admit I was terrified to talk to her. I didn't know what I had done, but I had a lot to say, and I wasn't about to waste the best opportunity I had to talk to her.

"Bella," I started cautiously. She looked up, letting me known I had been heard. "You said something a while back, and it sorta stuck with me, and I kinda have a lot to say, so please hear me out."

Her body went rigid, and her face grew serious. I could see fear behind her eyes, so I reached my hand out to interlock with hers. I smiled before I began to speak, but she continued to sit with her guard up.

Not wanting to prolong her agony, or let my nerves overpower me, I began.

"When this all first happened, you said something that hit me hard...you said you just wanted me to be happy. And, for a while, I thought I was. I thought I had everything I had ever wanted. I had a wife I thought I loved and who I thought loved me in return. I had a son who I thought I was putting before all else. I had a loving family, and Lord knows that didn't turn out to be true. I had a close friend who I didn't realized I missed until I noticed her gone." I brought myself to my knees so I was sitting on the floor before her and then placed both of her hands within my own. I looked deep into her eyes as I continued on.

"In all of this, I realized that I was focusing too much on what I thought I had and not what I really had, which was nothing. I know you have fears about opening yourself up too much because you're scared I'll hurt you. I need you to know that I'm not blind. I need you to trust me when I say that I see where my life is, and where it is heading, and I beg that you will understand when I tell you that this isn't the same." I took a deep breath and paused as I collected the rest of my thoughts.

"I need you to know that when I look at you, I see the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on. I want you to know that every morning when I wake up, I look forward to seeing you smile. I hope you know that every night on the couch, whether we're reading together or talking, that I live for those moments.

"There is not a day that goes by where I've stopped striving to be the man I had once set out to be; a man who was worthy of having a wife who loved him unconditionally, and who returned her love freely, as well. The man who would place his children above all else because they deserve nothing less. And I know I'm no where near where I think I'm good enough for you, but I'm too selfish to ignore how I feel. You said you wanted to see me happy, but, in turn, all I've ever wanted was the same for you. I want to be the person who makes you smile and brings you happiness...I really thought you were happy these past few months." I took another deep breath before moving back onto the couch so I was sitting side by side with her.

"I won't try and predict the future, but I want you to know that I want to be more to you than just Nathan's dad. I want to be there for you when you need a friend...to laugh with you on your good days and hold you during the bad. I need you to know that I am falling for you, and that thought terrifies me because I don't know where you stand.

"I don't need a declaration or a promise of marriage tomorrow, but I need your honesty. I want you to feel safe and trust me enough to know that you can talk to me truthfully. I want you to know that I think you are the most amazing woman in the world, and I want a life with you, but I need you to let me in." I took a final breath and closed my mouth.

My eyes fixed back on hers, and I saw the tears forming on the prim as well as the tears that had already flowed in plenty down her face, and even after I wiped them away with my fingers, she didn't move to speak. I knew I had unloaded a lot on her, and, as hard as it was, I needed to be patient. If she could sit through my ramblings, I would wait for her to digest it all.

Several minutes passed, and though her eyes had dried, her mouth hadn't opened. The nauseous feeling I had when I first decided to bare my soul was creeping back in, but I did my best to squash those thoughts. I had to believe I was more than just a fling to Bella, that our time together meant more to her, and that she wanted to go in the same direction I did. I believed there was a reason she had suddenly turned cold to me, and I needed to fix it, I wanted to fix it...I just wanted her.

"I saw your plans," she whispered so low I almost missed it.

I tilted my head to the side and began racking my brain for what that meant.

_What plans?_

"You had a list, and I didn't mean to snoop, but I was getting something off your desk, and I saw them. You had it all organized by town, and none of them were Forks. I know you're moving," she choked before the tears started to pour again.

My eyebrows knit together as I put the pieces together. On my desk was a spreadsheet with the cost of living in several areas, along with areas to start a practice...and, _oh fuck! _

"All of this..." I waved my hand between us. "You thought I was leaving? That is why you stopped talking to me?" I asked shocked.

"I figured if I started to prepare now it wouldn't hurt so much once you were gone. I just don't know how you plan to tell Nathan, but you're on your own. I can't sit there through that..." Her words trailed off, and I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

I knew Bella had trust issues, and most of them steamed from her mom, but I never imaged how little she still trusted in me. I also didn't understand why she hadn't said something to me as soon as she saw it, surely...she must have at least thought I'd want her to come, too.

"Bella, yes, I do want to move, but I'm not moving without you," I replied coolly, still on guard from my newest revelation.

"What do you mean 'go with you'?" she asked carefully.

"What you saw were plans to start my own practice. I was putting together a list of different areas that were plausible, and then I wanted to sit down with you and talk about it," I answered without a second thought.

"So, instead of talking to me about possibly moving immediately, you hid it from me?" she asked with her guard back in place.

"Well, no, I just didn't want you to have to stress about something that may not have even been an option," I clarified.

"Edward, you can't preach to me about honesty and not do the same. I thought you were leaving, and I couldn't sleep last night because of nightmares of Nathan's reaction." She looked at me dumbfounded, and I started to consider her words.

The more I thought, the more I realized she was right. She hadn't come and talk to me, and I hadn't done the same, which put us in this equally awkward position.

"I'm sorry, you're right. When the idea first popped into my head, I should have said something, especially after calling for blueprints. But, really, I had no intentions of moving without you, and if you tell me you won't move period, I'll make due locally. Bella, I meant every word I said, and not because this is where Nathan will be, but because I want you," I spoke more confidently than I had all evening.

"Did you think I'd just pick up and move wherever you wanted to go?" she questioned, and I could tell she was nervous by the way she was biting her lip.

"No, never. You're way too smart for that, and I respect you way too much to expect you not to challenge me. I really just wanted some set of options available to give you, and then I wanted to sit down and talk to you. Bella, I'm not in this alone anymore," I reiterated, and she nodded.

"I'm sorry for assuming." She sighed, and for the first time all day, she smiled.

I moved closer to her and engulfed her body with my arms. My chin rested on the top of her head, and her head laid across my chest. My nerves calmed down as I held Bella close to me...not reveling in the fact that we still had a long way to go with our communication skills.

"You really meant what you said?" I heard her voice filter up into my ears.

"Every word," I solemnly replied.

"When do we tell Nathan?" she pipped up after a few minutes of silence.

"I think he already has a clue, but I think we should officially announce it to him soon. Is that something you wanted to do?" I braced myself for her answer. We had only been 'dating' for a little while, but living together not only made our relationship more obvious but also harder to hide.

"Yeah, I think it's time." She nodded her head and tilted her neck back so our eyes could meet. She appeared more relaxed than earlier, but she was still cautious. Misunderstandings like this were a huge part of why we had to take things slow and not get a head of ourselves. I wanted Bella, and I wanted to go about this the right way.

"Put your head forward," I instructed, and she complied.

I brought my hands up to her neck and began kneading the stress out of her. I felt guilty that she hadn't gotten much sleep, and I could feel how tense she was under my fingers. She immediately relaxed and let herself form to my body. I heard several sighs of contentment from her, and each one brought a smile to my face.

I felt Bella's hands reach for mine and push them under the straps of her dress. Though my hands followed her lead, I froze.

"Bella, are you sure?" I asked tentatively while my hand stalled on her shoulder. My mind was reeling from her blatant switch of direction from a massage to...I wasn't even sure what this was.

"What did I tell you about asking?" She sighed and looked back up at me with her deep brown eyes.

"That was for kissing. This...well, this is something more than kissing," I stammered. My hand burned from the heat radiating off her skin, and even though Bella and I had obviously been intimate before, it wasn't like either of us remembered it.

"Edward, if you plan on asking me every single time you want to touch me, I think we need to re-evaluate our relationship," she deadpanned. The look on her face was priceless, but it was enough for my hands to begin moving. My fingertips trailed under the strap of her dress while I brought my lips down to her neck. Bella's head fell to the side, and a small moan escaped her lips, egging me on to push forward.

I pushed both straps to the side and continued to massage her neck and shoulders. I alternated my kisses with the pressure of my hands. I felt Bella begin to shift as she went from sitting side ways on the couch to having her feet up directly in front of her. The friction against my crotch caused me to fluster a little as a wave of intense sensations took over.

Bella was wearing a green dress that came to her knees, and though the straps of her dress were pushed down, the chest area had elastic to keep it up. It wasn't fancy, it was just something she would commonly wear around the house to lounge in.

"Bella," I breathed hoarsely into her ear, and I heard her sigh in return.

My right hand snuck around to the front of her dress, and I lightly pulled down on one side exposing one of her breasts to me. I cupped it firmly in my hand as my other trailed up and down the side of her body. I felt a tremor wave flow through her body, and I knew she was enjoying herself, even though my brain was telling me this was moving too fast.

When you're young, your parents taught you to think through your decisions because every choice had a consequence. Some good, some bad, and some indifferent, but there was always a reaction. We should have slowed down, but we were both too far gone to stop the inevitable.

While Bella's breasts laid bare to me, I reached down to hike up her dress. I continued to rub her nipple between my fingers as the dress bunched at her waist. From my position, I could only see her body, and the view was breathtaking. As much as I wanted to see her face, I loved the intimacy this position gave us. With her back pressed to me, and her dress now up, I lightly ran my fingers under the waistband of her panties...a simple pair of black cotton. They were innocently erotic, and with the help of her hands, we both worked to take them off of her.

While one hand remained on her breast, the other trailed down to her pussy. I began to apply pressure to her clit, and she immediately quivered in my arms. Her head flew back so it now rested on my shoulder, and for the first time, I could kiss her face.

My erection stood tall, but in that moment, I didn't care about my needs. Feeling her body shift against mine was enough to send me over the edge, but I was too enraptured with Bella to notice. The euphoria of my own release was eclipsed by the sounds coming from Bella's mouth as her hips rocked into my hand. Her legs stayed parted as I played and teased the outside of her walls. I slipped one finger in, followed by another, and then another. Bella thrashed back into me as I alternated my hands between kneading on her breasts and slipping in and out of her.

"Oh, God," she gasped between breaths.

"Bella," I whispered into her ear sensually.

There was no other experience that I could compare to the emotions I was feeling. To know Bella could physically give herself so freely to me made me feel empowered, and I wanted to recreate this moment as many times as I could.

"Right there," I heard her whimper as my fingers came into contact with her g-spot.

I kept my fingers moving in a circular motion as Bella's pussy pumped against my hand. Her breath turned shallow and ragged, and her words were intelligible. I squeezed lightly on her nipples, as I felt a new wave of moisture coat my fingers and then my hand.

As she began to come down from her high, I continued to move my hand until we both stilled. I kissed her forehead and let her dress fall down from her waist, and she lifted the elastic back over her chest.It took me a few minutes to realize that Bella had gone virtually quiet and was now blushing.

"Please don't close yourself off," I begged into her hair. She turned scarlet, and I realized it wasn't a protective guard as much as it was embarrassment.

"Can I, uh, help you?" She motioned to my lap, and I felt like a teenager as I explained that I already had. "Oh, okay. Well I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Do you want to take one together?" I asked forwardly, because I was in dire need of one, too.

"Um, I don't think I'm ready for that yet, but maybe we can meet back up in my room after?" She blushed and looked down,so I squeezed her hand, kissed her forehead, and left.

In the privacy of my own shower, I was able to relive the last hour over and over in my head. I thought I had experienced intense sexual feelings before, but nothing compared to this. And nothing compared to how sexy Bella was as she came. It was difficult to keep another erection at bay, but I wanted to go to curl up in bed with Bella more.

I knocked on her door, but it squeaked open under the weight of my knuckle.

"I'm ready," Bella announced.

She crawled into bed first with me a few seconds behind. I immediately moved to the center and wrapped my arms around her.

"Thank you," she whispered, and I chuckled.

_Our course she'd thank me._

"Anytime. Was that okay?" I asked nervously as memories of her explanation of Jane filled my head.

"That was amazing," she reassured me, and I kissed her forehead. "Why are you so nervous? You have more experience than me."

"I'm not sure how I rate against the other person you've been with," I answered cautiously.

"Edward, Jane and I were friends who slept together. And, even then, it wasn't incredibly often and always involved a liberal amount of alcohol. What you just did...well, I've never felt anything like that before. I care about you, not only more than I did Jane, but in a different way, and that is something you'll never have to compete against," she reassured me.

"You mean you never thought you and Jane would become more?" I asked out of morbid curiosity by that point, and I thought I heard her snort.

"Never. Really, it was just sex, and I know that sounds bad, but she was better than having to do it myself. She was a great friend, and at times, I do miss talking to her, but I was more than happy to walk away when she met her wife." Bella's declaration calmed my nerves even further.

"Bella?" I whispered.

"Hmm?" she replied seconds later.

"I don't want you to ever walk away from me," I stated seriously because, at the end of the day, she had to know how much she meant to me.

"I don't want to walk away either," she chuckled before cuddling into my side.

We fell asleep in each other's arm, and it was the best night of sleep I'd had in years.

* * *

Waking up next to Bella was a surreal experience. First, because it took me a few minutes to realize why one side of my body was so warm, but also because I didn't recognize where I was.

I blinked my eyes a few times as the room came into focus, and memories of the night before flooded back.

It felt like a dream, but with Bella's body curled tightly into my side, I knew it wasn't, and no amount of willpower would stop the smile that crept onto my face.

I peered down at her face, and the soft rays coming through the window made it look like she was glowing. Bella was not only positively gorgeous, but she looked so at peace. I wanted to take a picture of this moment and frame it forever.

I sighed and continued to lay there for a few minutes as I thought about the night before.

Now that Bella was in on my idea of moving, we needed to sit down and talk about the where, when, and if. I still wasn't sure where her mind was, and this had to be a joint decision.

I also wasn't sure how I felt about our sexual encounter the night before. On one hand, I felt like I experienced something with Bella that brought me closer to her, and hearing her differentiate between Jane and I was incredibly reassuring. However, part of me worried that we'd rushed things...we still hadn't said the 'love' word and already had moved into sex. Our emotions were already high because of the plans Bella had seen, and I only hoped that when she woke up, she wouldn't regret it.

Bella began to stir before she opened her eyes and smiled up at me.

"So, that wasn't a dream?" she whispered after a few minutes.

I shook my head back and forth.

I felt her arms squeeze around my torso as her lips kissed my chest.

"Bella, I hope last night," I tried to say before I felt a hand come up, and a finger covered my mouth.

"Don't," she ordered. "Last night was perfect."

I took her words at face value and attempted not to think about it again.

We realized we had about an hour before Alice showed up with Nathan and party preparations would commence.

We parted at her door and went our separate ways to get ready for the busy day ahead.

I realized, while taking my shower, how amazing waking up with Bella had been...and that was something I wanted to do everyday.

It stood to further resolve my desire to make her mine forever.

* * *

"No, Dad, over here," Nathan stressed his words as he pointed to the far table where most of the food was being set up on. I was currently holding a meat and cheese ray Bella had thrown at me and instructed to find a place to put it.I could tell she was over stressed, and I was helping out as much as I could.

Once Hurricane Alice and Tornado Nathan walked through the door, the house had been utter chaos. Thankfully, Emmett and Jasper had come the weekend prior to set up the pool, and we simply kept a thermal cover on it to keep it warm. Alice rented several party tables and chairs, which they brought with them, along with half the food and most of the decorations.

Emmett was currently helping to set up the slip n' slide while Rosalie sat in the kitchen and watched Bella prepare the drinks. As many times as Rose offered to help, Bella shooed her away and told her to sit with Joshua.

Alice and Jasper were putting up colorful streamers, blowing up balloons, and decorating the tables, while Nathan worked to fill the fifty or so Super-Soaker water guns Alice had picked up. I wasn't sure why she ordered fifty, but apparently they planned on using them like a paintball game.

I was in charge of funneling the food outside, while Charlie stood off to the side and ensured nothing on the grill got burnt.

By the time everything was ready, we had only two minutes of breathing time before the doorbell started to ring and piles of people showed up. We had Nathan's entire class, most of the staff, all of Alice's friends, and a few of Bella's friends. I opted out of inviting anyone from the hospital, simply to ensure the party stayed focused on Nathan.

Time seemed to zoom by, but I loved just sitting back towards the side and watching Nathan play with his friends. Bella would walk up behind me and place her hand on my back to get my attention. I'd look at her, and then look at our son who was laughing, smiling, and for once, truly getting to act like the eight-year-old boy that he was. We'd both smile at each other, and I knew...I knew this was where I was meant to be. This was where I had always meant to be.

"Dad, come on," Nathan screamed while pulling me towards the water area. I had changed into some swim trunks about an hour ago but had remained dry until now. I turned around to see Bella laughing at me while using her hand to shoo me away. Nathan's grip on my hand hadn't loosened as he brought me before the slip n' slide.

I look over at him incredulously. It had been years since I'd been on one. and through the egging of him and a few of his friends, I took a few steps back and went for it.

My body hit the water and slid off the end. I could hear laughing and screams as the grass stung against my chest, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Before I could get up, Nathan ran over and jumped down on me. I flipped him around and began to tickle him.

"," he squealed.

I looked up to see Bella smiling before us while Alice whispered into her ear. She looked over and blushed before looking back at us. I smirked, but she walked away to refill the punch bowl.

Time became our enemy as the sun began to fade along with Nathan's energy. It was no short order to get him changed, showered, and in bed, while everyone said their goodbyes.

Charlie had to work a shift that night, so he left with a promise to come back another day. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett stayed and helped us clean up while Rosalie tended to Joshua on the couch.

The decorations took a while to take down, along with the rounding up of all the toys, and cleaning up the trash...but it was worth it since Nathan had fun. I was thankful that cameras were not in short supply, and I couldn't wait to buy a huge collage frame for the living room to showcase all of the memories.

"Hey." Bella came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Hey, yourself," I replied. "Is there anything else to get done?"

"Nah, the rest can wait until tomorrow. Apparently there are adult announcements going on, and we're needed in the living room," she explained, so I took her hand and followed her in.

Emmett and Rosalie were sitting on the loveseat, while Joshua bounced on Alice's legs, and Jasper sat in the chair. Bella and I took a seat on the couch, and I immediately wrapped my arm around her shoulders. Even though Nathan hadn't been officially told of our 'dating' status, our families did know since they helped play babysitter from time to time. And even though Bella and I were still new at this, it just felt natural.

"So, um, I guess we'll go first," Emmett started and turned to smile at Rosalie as he said, "We're moving."

My eyes widened in shock, and I heard Bella gasp.

"What? When?" she spluttered out in blatant shock.

"I got a job offer, it's on the east coast, and it's too good to pass up. We'll be moving in about six weeks. I know it's sudden, but we literally found out last night," Emmett said, sounding apologetic.

"Give me." Bella held out her arms to Joshua and took him from Alice.

"I'm gonna miss you," she cooed to him, and Joshua cracked a smile.

"We'll still fly in to visit, and you're more than welcomed to visit whenever you want," Rosalie pipped up.

"Thank you," I replied almost automatically. Alice and Jasper were already set for Texas in three weeks, and now three weeks later my brother would be gone too...this made my resolve to leave Forks even stronger.

"Well," Bella started as she raised her head and stopped cooing at Joshua. "We're probably moving too."

Again, my eyes widened, and I looked over at her.

"You are?" echoed from both of my siblings. I was rendered speechless, so I sat back and listened.

"Well, yeah. Edward really wants to open his own practice, and we're not sure where yet, but I think we both agree that we can't rebuild in Forks. I'll still come out to visit my dad, but now we just have to work out the details." Her voice was so nonchalant that I didn't even know what to say to that.

_"Edward, I'm sick of your words...show me!" Bella pleaded with me once when she was tired of hearing my apologies. She had simply wanted me to step up and show that I meant what I said._

_So I did._

_And now she was._

This was Bella showing me she was as committed to me as I was to her.

"Do you have any idea where?" Alice asked.

"No," I answered for us. "I have a list set up with possible locations, but we really have to sit down and go through them all. I'm not sure how long it'll take to work out all of the details, but, as soon as we decide, we'll let everyone know."

Jasper, who hadn't said a word this entire time, butted in. "That's really good...for you both. A clean start."

"So, is this like, for good?" Rosalie asked as she waved her hand between us.

"Um, yeah," Bella blushed as I said it.

"I knew it," she mouthed to Bella, which caused her to crack up laughing.

"Bella got hit by the Cullen curse," Alice announced, and all of the guys started to laugh. Alice immediately turned to Jasper, and in a mocking tone said, "I don't know why you're laughing. You got hit by it too, honey." He stopped laughing, and the room went quiet.

"So, we all have news it seems," Alice hedged after a minute passed.

"Well, we're moving, they're probably moving, and you're moving...what else?" Rosalie asked.

Jasper moved his hand to Alice's shoulder and announced they were pregnant.

Rosalie and Bella immediately started squealing and started firing off questions.

_When are you due?_

_How far along are you?_

_Are you going to find out the gender?_

"This is so exciting," Rosalie said excitedly.

"Hey, now Rosalie and I can fly out to Texas and host your baby shower," Bella announced completely seriously.

Alice's face was priceless as she shifted her eyes from Bella, and then to Rosalie, and back again.

"No, I think I'll pass," she said.

Bella cocked her head to the side and then started laughing.

"Well, I better get an invite," she teased.

"Oh, you'll get an invite," Alice promised.

They both laughed together, and general chatter went on for a while. The seating arrangements changed a few times, and the subject matter flipped a lot too, but what didn't change was the warm feeling that surrounded me.

In that moment I realized...I finally had my family back.

* * *

**So there ya have it...your first lime, good, bad, opinions? I'm really not a lemon writer-I never have been, and I know people gasp at me, but I tend not to read them either...so hopefully I did these two some justice! I have been asked quite a bit about lemons, and yes, I have plans for one full out one...there may be another in an outtake, and another where it's assumed what it's moved into. If ya'll like my lime writing abilities, maybe I'll expand...we'll see. Roughly 2-3 chapters left to go! I'm sad to see it end, but at the same time, our favorite family of three deserve their HEA already ;) Updating again soon-no TBA, but ya'll now I never make you wait longer than necessary!  
**

**Review replies this week will be a teaser for Chapter 25 :)  
**

**I do have an outtake for BI in the Fandom Against the Floods and the first chapter to my next story is in the Fandom Against Parkinson's :) I'm going to start working on my Fandom Gives Back piece this weekend, and it's a toss up between two things right now-whichever one comes out easier wins. I do have plans for a handful of BI outtakes, but I'm trying to focus on the few fandom obligations I have and get the story completed-then I can focus on that. As it stands, I foresee at least 3, possibly more...I'll ask again when it's complete if there are any moments you want to see.  
**

**I also decided to make a facebook page just for the fandom! It's SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction **http:/www(dot)facebook(dot)com/?ref=home#!/profile(dot)php?id=100002011260119&sk=wall

**Voting on my contest is now up-please check it out! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~pickyourownadventurecontest

**I didn't do a weekly rec last week, and for that, I'm sorry...truth be told, I've had very little time to write since my youngest has started to crawl and getting her to bed before 10 has been a struggle, so what time I do have had been devoted to that versus reading...so I just wrote up a review for one of my favorite fics for Indie Fic Pimp so I'll shout it out here! The story is called Riding the Fence, and I recced it early on...it's on Chapter 16 now, and I'm still in love! Check out the story and here is the link to my review for it: **http:/indieficpimp(dot)blogspot(dot)com/


	26. Chapter 25

**Welcome Back to Blind Intentions! I could give you all of the excuses for why this is late, but know it was a matter of real life, getting and staying sick, both of my kids being sick, and oh, did I mention real life. Sorry!  
**

**Thank you to kas90, morethanmyself, and jadmama for helping with this chapter!  
**

**I don't own Twilight, and I will never claim to own Twilight.

* * *

**

"Good morning, sleepy head." Bella laughed, as I stumbled into the kitchen. I noticed she was already eating breakfast and going through mail that had piled up

When I reached her, I leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. My body involuntarily yawned seconds after I straighted myself.

Nathan's party, for a lack of a better description, was utterly exhausting. Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper didn't leave until closer to midnight, and Bella and I foolishly stayed up and talked until two a.m.. My plan to sleep in was shot when it hit eight o'clock, and I couldn't force my body to go back to sleep any longer, but I also couldn't fully wake up, either. I felt hung over but without the alcohol. My body was achy from all the running around, and my chest stung this morning in the shower from the grass burn. Nathan's party was definitely worth it, but we would not be hosting another one that big for a long while!

"This is for you," Bella called out. She held an envelope in the air with her hand while staying focused on whatever else she was reading. I took it from her hand and ripped open the folded flap without checking the return address.

As I opened up the page I realized the letter heading was from a hospital in Denver. I was momentarily confused until I read the words typed out...it was a job offer. I tilted my head and started to rattle off why they would be sending me this when I hadn't contacted anyone looking for a new job.

"Edward?" Bella waved her hand in front of me. "Edward, are you okay? What is it?" She looked heavily concerned, as I was sure she could read the confusion on my face.

"It's a, um...it's a job offer, but I didn't put my resume out," I answered as my body fully began to wake up.

"Do you think someone referred you?" she asked innocently, but I shook my head...that wasn't how that would have worked. At the very least, I would have gotten a phone call, not just a letter that read more like an acceptance letter than it did an offer. The position was exactly what I did in Forks, just for more money, and at a more well known hospital. The same hospital I was looking at when I decided to move to Forks. However, I made the decision then to move with Bella and not pursue their offer. I wasn't sure who would have had a hand in this, but I knew I didn't want it.

"Are you going to take it?" Bella asked curiously, and I answered with another shake of my head. Honestly, I was more stumped than intrigued. I wasn't sure why it had showed up now, but I wasn't interested in the hospital environment anymore. I wanted my own practice, with my own hours, and the ability to be with my family when I wanted to be, not all-nighters and two a.m. wake up calls.

"Well, you know I'd support you if this was something you wanted, right?" Bella's words spoke one meaning, but her eyes gave her away. She didn't want me to take this, and after a decade of letting her down, I wasn't going back on my word now.

"No way," I spoke confidently this time and wrapped my arms around her waist. I threw the letter on the table behind her and had no plans to think about it again. "That isn't what I want anymore. You and Nathan are what I want." I leaned down and gave her a kiss on her lips.

"So, I'm a 'what' now?" Bella pulled back and cocked her eyebrow at me.

"Yup. You're the most beautiful 'what' of them all, but seriously, I don't want to go back to a hospital, and I doubt you'd like Denver, anyway." I leaned back down to kiss her, and this time Bella melded against my body as she surrendered her mouth to me.

Of course, as always, as soon as it began it ended when the sound of a door opening echoed into the kitchen.

"We need to tell him," I stated, and Bella nodded back at me.

"Today," she stated. It wasn't a question...it was a declaration.

I smiled at her as our sleepy eyed Nathan stumbled into the room just like I had a short while prior.

"Mornin'," he mumbled as he grabbed a bowl and poured himself some cereal. Bella offered to help him but was quickly turned down as Nathan told her he was fine.

I went behind him to fix myself something to eat, and we all sat at the table together. Bella would eye me when Nathan wasn't looking, and I knew we were both nervous to tell him, but at the same time excited, too. I couldn't wait to hold her hand and kiss her without having to look over my shoulder all the time.

* * *

"Nathan," Bella called out as we walked to where Nathan was seated on the couch.

He had been as exhausted as I was, and for the most part, vegged out in front of the TV. Bella and I wouldn't normally allow that type of behavior, but we figured, with it being summer break, he could have a free pass for the day. It also gave us a little alone time to talk about our plan for telling him.

"Yeah?" he answered, turning his head to acknowledge us.

Bella and I talked about several scenarios for explaining our new status to him, but we opted to keep it quiet and personal. I offered to drive us out to Port Angeles for dinner, but Bella was concerned that it would be too stressful. She suggested we just tell him at home, which was exactly what we were about to do.

"We'd like to talk to you," I started. Bella and I came to sit down next to him, and I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.

"Is this good or bad news?" he asked cautiously, and I was surprised, yet elated, he hadn't jumped to the 'you're moving out' statement he tended to say.

_"Bella, if we just walk in, he's going to think I'm moving out again," I rebutted when she told me we should just walk in and tell him._

_"Well, we'll tell him like we did before, you're not moving out. And I think it would be best to tell him about the moving now, too. I know we haven't had a chance to sit down and talk about where, but he needs to know it's coming, and he'll need to prepare." Bella quickly threw more facts back at me._

_"Do you think it's best to tell him we're moving and not be able to tell him where?" I questioned, and she looked thoughtful for a second._

_"What if we let him help us? Like, we can choose our top places and let him look at them. If there is one area that works better than the other, we can always push towards that, yes?" she proposed._

_"Well, we could go over the schools, activities to do, and all the fun stuff with him. He'll definitely feel more helpful, and probably appreciate having a voice. Yeah, we'll go with that plan." I nodded thoughtfully before leaning over and kissing her forehead. "That's why I like you...you're the smart one."_

_Bella swatted my arm and playfully called me a jerk. I quickly wrapped my arms around her and swung her into my arms, kissing her until she was breathless. _

_"So, am I still a jerk?" I asked with my eyebrow cocked. _

_"Nope, but we should go talk to Nathan now so we can come back and talk." The way she articulated the word 'talk' immediately made the hairs on my neck stand up as she playfully winked at me and grabbed my hand. _

_"Let's go do that," I answered slowly as we turned in the direction of the living room, where we walked in hand-in-hand. _

"Well, we think it's good news, and we hope you do, too," Bella said reassuringly with a bright smile on her face.

"Okay," Nathan drew out the word and looked back and forth between the two of us.

"Nathan, I know you've noticed things have been different between your mom and me. And, well, I don't know how much you've assumed so far, but we want you to know that we're together now...officially," I pushed out uncomfortably. Trying to explain to your eight-year-old son you were now dating his mother was slightly harder than I had expected it to be.

"So, you're, like, dating?" he questioned, and I could see the emotions swirling in his eyes were a mix of confusion and excitement.

"Yes, Nathan, we're dating," Bella answered for us.

"Cool, so do you like, love each other now?" Nathan asked without missing a beat, and I froze.

_Crap...what to say to that?_

"Nathan, we've always loved each other. Now, it's just a different kind of love," Bella answered without a second thought, and my head snapped to her. She looked up at me, and I could see she meant every word she had just said. I smiled in her direction but tried to keep it discreet. The first time I pronounced my love to Bella would not be in front of Nathan-I wanted that moment to be perfect.

Nathan glanced down for a second and then back up at us with a smile on his face.

"So, we're like a real family?" I started to laugh at him and he joined in. I could tell he was still tired, but he didn't look upset or even angry that I was now dating his mom, instead he looked almost relieved, but happy...definitely happy.

"Of course, we're a real family," I assured him. His face was lit up like a Christmas tree, and it made my heart melt. I knew this was what he wanted, and I was elated that he was happy it finally happened.

"Mom," Nathan spoke and turned to Bella. "Are you happy now?"

Bella froze for a second, and even I sat straighter at such a direct question from our eight-year-old.

"Yes, baby, I'm very happy," she answered with a glowing smile.

"Dad?" He shifted his attention to me.

"I am beyond happy. There aren't words to describe how over the moon I am," I exaggerated my words so he knew how I felt.

"Good, so are you going to get married?" he fired off at us, and my eyes widened for a second.

_Damn, this boy got to the point...and fast!_

"It's not out of the question, but we'll discuss it with you if we do. However, there is something else we'd like to talk to you about," Bella edged, and I knew this was the make or break part.

I had assumed Nathan would take the idea of us dating pretty easily, since I knew he already assumed we were, but now we were throwing moving at him...and that, well, I wasn't so sure about.

"Nathan, your father and I have been talking, and we want to know what you think about moving." Bella asked calmly.

Nathan's face went blank, and he didn't answer immediately. Instead, he tilted his head to the side and looked at her. He crinkled his lips to the side and we knew he was considering her words.

"Why would we move?" he eventually asked.

"Well, I'd like to start my own practice so that I can go back to being a doctor, but with more normal hours so I can still be home at night. Your mom and I have agreed it would be better to do that somewhere else besides Forks," I explained in eight-year-old terms.

"What about Papa?" Nathan pushed.

"Baby, he's not going anywhere. We can always come back and visit as much as you like, and we'll also visit your Aunt Alice and Uncle Emmett, too," Bella reassured him that we would never deprive him from his family. It also reminded me that we needed to tell Nathan that his uncle and aunt were also moving, which was announced after he went to sleep.

"Won't I have to make new friends?" he asked genuinely concerned, and I started to worry that we'd put too much on him too soon.

"Yeah, unfortunately, that's the sad part of moving, but you'll still come back to visit. And, you'll make new friends and see new places," Bella put enthusiasm behind her voice to make the idea of moving sound more appealing. "We can also redecorate your new room, and we'll find fun new activities for you to do. We'll also make sure you can still play baseball."

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad," Nathan replied, but he definitely wasn't excited yet. "Where are we going?"

"That we haven't decided on yet, and we were hoping you could help. Your mom and I are going to make a list, and with your help, we thought we could decide as a family," I butted in and explained our plan.

"I get to choose?" he asked shocked.

"Of course you have a say. You're part of this family, too, Nathan," I replied, and he nodded his head.

He yawned, and I knew we'd taken up his span of attention for now.

"You just think about it, and if you have any questions just ask, okay?" Bella told him before we both got up to give him some space. He needed to think, and I was confident he would find us if he needed to.

* * *

When Bella and I went back to check on Nathan five minute's after our talk, we found him passed out on the couch. After we covered him up with a blanket and shut the TV back off, we headed into the office to begin talking about possible places to relocate.

Now that school was out, it would be the best plan to start looking, and hopefully move, before the next school year. If Nathan started another year in Forks, I wasn't sure if we'd pull him out, and truthfully, I wanted out of this town as soon as possible.

The letter from Denver continued to plague my thoughts, even though I knew there wasn't a chance in hell I'd take it. Though it was a generous offer, it just didn't fall in line with the direction my future was heading, and after some thought I had a good idea who was behind it.

Before I could continue wasting time worrying about Denver, Bella caught my attention when she picked up some of the papers I put together.

"So, do you have a top five? I mean, I can work from anywhere, but I'd like to be near a major city for agency reasons," Bella started to explain, but I had already thought of that.

In fact, I really did have a top five, but I wanted to give her a chance to consider all of her options first, so instead of listing them off, I had her tell me places where she'd always wanted to go instead.

"Well, Oregon would be close to home, but wouldn't it be too close?" Bella asked while biting the pen cap currently sitting between her lips.

"It's up to you. Portland is a nicer city with a lot of nicer suburbs. The school system is solid, no sales tax is a plus, but property tax is considerably higher, and we'd be within driving distance of your dad," I pointed out.

"And yours. Plus, isn't Esme still in Port Angeles?" Bella's face paled as she spoke the name Esme.

"True, she is, so Oregon is out, California?" I looked over her, and she gave me a small smile. She was right, closer to her dad was not such a bad thing, but my parents, no thank you!

"Um, I don't really see us living in California, what's next?" Bella quickly dismissed.

And that is how the majority of our time went. Bella quickly said no to anywhere considered the Pacific Northwest, and anything even remotely close to the Pacific Northwest, stating it was simply too close to my family. She also vetoed anything that was considered the deeper south because she said it wouldn't be fair to be close to Alice but not to Emmett, which then took out the New England states. I was starting to get frustrated, but I did my best not to show it because I want Bella to feel confident wherever we moved next. However, I was starting to think we'd wind up in Europe with the way she was checking states off.

"Well, I was looking at Missouri," I started to move further down the list, but she quickly cut me off.

"Missouri, Edward? What the heck is even in Missouri?" Bella looked at me bewildered.

"The major cities are Saint Louis, Kansas City, and Springfield. There is a lot of history, outdoor activities, and a lot to do with Nathan. Route 66 travels through there...and...you're not buying it, huh?" I paused.

"Edward, please tell me the next one is better?" she pleaded. Her face held so much concern it was down right adorable.

"North Carolina?" I asked cautiously.

"North Carolina," she repeated with a perplexed look on her face. "That doesn't sound so bad."

After sitting in the cramped chair for the better part of an hour, I decided to stand and stretch my muscles before talking about yet another state. Bella had already moved from her chair to the edge of the desk, so I opted to stand behind her, and I wrapped my arms around her stomach.

"Well," I spoke into her ear. "North Carolina has Raleigh and Charlotte. Some areas have decent school systems, there is a lot of outdoor activities, but it's close enough to travel north or south to get to major vacation spots. They are in no short supply of suburban houses or secluded cabins in the woods..." I kissed the back of her neck. "And there are about four places total that would be decent for me to start an office. Private practices are starting to become more used in the bigger cities and would give me enough people to bring in, or we could move to a more remote area where the doctors aren't as plentiful."

"A cabin in the woods, huh?" Bella asked, and I realized she stopped listening to me after I said that.

"Perhaps, or we could get a house. We'd need to talk to Nathan before we bought a cabin," I stated, and she nodded thoughtfully.

"North Carolina doesn't sound so bad, and it's not too far from your brother and sister, but we have to get Nathan on our side," she reminded.

"I think we can do that," I said as she turned in my arms so she was now facing me.

"He's been asleep for a while," Bella noted, and I nodded.

"Well, he was tired, and more than likely, he'll be asleep for a while longer. Do you want to talk about more places?" I winked playfully before connecting my lips to hers and putting my hands on her waist. As they slowly moving them up her shirt I looked her in the eyes to silently ask for permission.

"You can touch," she whispered into my mouth. I moved my hands up to take her top off and unclasped her bra. My mouth greedily sought out her breasts, and I used my tongue and mouth to tease her nipples.

Even though Bella and I weren't ready for sex, it was becoming incredibly frustrating to be around her. Just watching her swing her hips a little more than normal was erotic, but seeing her practically laid out on my desk was enough to cause a frenzy. Our intimate times were becoming more frequent, and though it was hard to keep my head straight, I knew Bella would tell me when she was ready for...more, because Lord knew I was ready whenever she was.

As my mouth stayed connected with her breasts, I used my free hands to work down her pants, In a quick fluid motion they were off, followed by her panties. Her legs spread open, and I quickly moved to begin working her clit with my tongue. Her hips bucked in sync with my mouth, and within minutes I heard her moans and felt her shake as her orgasm overtook her.

I pulled away and started to help find her clothes when her eyes turned lustful. Before I could blink, Bella was on her knees and working the belt to my pants.

"Bella, you don't..." I tried to articulate, but she quickly told me to shut up.

We never went back to talking about moving for the rest of the night.

* * *

"Nathan, are you ready?" Bella yelled up the stairs, and I could see she was stressed out.

"Bella." I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her. "Calm down, baby, it's just your dad."

"I know, I know, but I'm still worried. We're telling him we're moving, and I just...I'm scared," she whispered the last word. I looked deep into her eyes, and I could see her trepidation. She was worried that he would think we were abandoning him, which was not at all what we were doing. Bella and I knew that if we wanted a chance to move on, truly move on and grow stronger as a couple and as a family, it was time to leave Forks.

Getting Nathan on board for North Carolina was the easy part. As soon as I told him about all of the hiking, fishing, sports teams, and how close a theme park was, he was ready to start packing. I told him we'd see Dr. Banner one more time to tell him goodbye, but that we were sure he wouldn't need to see anyone else once we had moved. Jimmy was probably not gone forever, and it would be something we would always have to look for, but at this point, as each day passed, we grew closer to the one-year mark of his personality shifting. We were also getting closer to the one-year anniversary of his kidnapping, and Bella and I decided not to focus on that for now. Life had changed so much that it made me dizzy just thinking about it.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Nathan sang as he ran down the stairs. He had dressed himself in a yellow plaid shirt with a pair of jeans, and his hair slicked back. I cocked an eyebrow at him, but he shrugged me off-soon he'd be asking me how to shave.

_God, where had the time gone? _

Another topic that Bella and I hadn't elaborated much on since our first date was more children. We both knew we wanted them, but I wasn't sure what timeline Bella had. And it was something I wanted to consider after we moved and got settled in. Neither of us were getting any younger, and even though Bella wasn't old enough to be considered "high risk" it wasn't that far away.

Of course, it would probably help if I could tell her I loved her. In the last week, I had tried, but every time I came close it just wasn't the right moment. I hoped, after talking to Charlie, that whatever nerves I was holding onto would fade away.

Thirty minutes later we were pulling into Charlie's driveway. Even though Bella had told him we were coming over for dinner, it actually meant Bella had made a casserole and was going to use Charlie's oven to heat it up. I wasn't sure why he didn't just come to our house, but apparently, they had always 'done dinner' that way.

"Come on in," Charlie ushered.

"Dad, I'm just going to start in the kitchen," Bella announced before she quickly took off. Charlie nodded as we moved into the living room. Of course, the sports channel was blaring.

"How have you been?" I asked casually.

"Good, good," he answered.

"What this?" Nathan asked as he motioned towards a box.

That was when I realized a lot of Charlie's shelves were bare. He didn't strike me as a man who would redecorate, and the paper sitting on the box looked like wrapping paper you'd use when you were..._moving?_

"Oh, well, I was..." Charlie stumbled through his words.

"He's redecorating, Nathan, the box is so he can move stuff around without breaking anything," I lied easily, or so I thought.

"Dad?" Nathan looked me dead in the eye. "You suck at lying."

"What your dad meant was, well, your Papa is having someone move in, so I was making room," Charlie muttered.

My eyes widened as they snapped towards him.

Moving in..._with Charlie?_

"Oh," Nathan replied. "Who's moving in?"

"Her name is Karen, and she's a really nice lady. I'm hoping you can meet her soon," Charlie answered.

_Who the fuck is Karen? Bella is going to freak!_

"Oh cool, does she like to fish?" Nathan asked curiously.

"No, she hates fishing, but she likes to cook the fish," Charlie laughed.

"She sounds cool to me." Nathan shrugged his shoulders and focused his attention on the TV.

"Karen?" I asked quietly.

"After we eat," Charlie answered, and I nodded.

I wasn't sure how Bella was going to feel about this, but the more I thought about it, the more I considered that this could be good news. Bella wouldn't feel like she was leaving Charlie alone, and that worked in my favor. Well, worked in our favor.

Dinner went on as normal, and we all enjoyed Bella's lasagna and garlic bread. Nathan curled up in the living room to watch a repeat of an old baseball game, as Charlie, Bella, and I stayed around the dining room table.

"So, I have some, uh, news," Charlie started uncomfortable, and I moved my hand to Bella's.

Charlie's eyes focused on our hands but quickly jerked his head up.

"Sorry, it's weird seeing you two so...so together," he amended.

"You have news?" Bella pushed, anxiously.

"Uh, yeah, so I have been dating someone. Her name is Karen, she works at the diner, and she's moving in," Charlie rushed out so quickly I almost didn't catch it all.

Bella's hand gripped mine for a second before marginally relaxing.

"Karen," Bella repeated, and it sounded like she was practicing saying the name.

"Yes, Bella, I wanted to tell you sooner, but," Charlie tried to explain, but she put her hand in the air.

"I'm not mad, just surprised," she said evenly, but I knew that tone. I started to rub my thumb over her knuckle to ease her stress.

"I'd like you to meet her," Charlie offered, and I nodded my head.

"How long?" Bella asked next.

"A few months," Charlie answered and her face clouded.

"You think that's wise after a few months?" Bella asked in disbelief.

"I do," he answered solemnly, and I knew Charlie saw he was loosing.

"Okay, then," Bella stated before changing to our own news. "I guess we should tell you of our news...we're moving."

Bella talked so quickly she didn't even give Charlie a chance to prepare.

_Yup, she was definitely mad._

"What do you mean you're moving?" Charlie snapped. His face went rigid and his shoulders tensed. The dynamic of our conversation immediately changed.

"Dad, I know this may be upsetting, but we need to do this," Bella pleaded with him to understand. If either one of us could see rebuilding our lives here in Forks, we'd do it in a heartbeat, but the truth was we needed a clean start.

"Did I do this?" Charlie muttered under his breath. His eyes looked lost as he stared at Bella, and for the first time ever, I felt bad for him.

"What? No, this isn't about you, this is about us," Bella explained. "I, personally, don't want to be near Esme, or even Carlisle, and I'm sick of avoiding areas of town because it reminds me of what happened to Nathan. Edward can't start a practice here, but he can't go back to the hospital, either. Dad, we need this, and you have someone now, so you won't be alone."

"But, Bella, just because I'm with someone doesn't mean I've replaced you," he answered.

"I'd certainly hope not," Bella shot back. "However, that doesn't change the fact that we're moving. We'll still visit, and visit often, and you're welcome at our house whenever you want, but I can't live here anymore."

"Charlie, I know this may be shocking, but you know as well as I do there isn't anywhere local for me to work, aside from the hospital, and as long as my dad is in charge there, well...it wouldn't be the best for us," I butted in.

Bella fiercely defended our decision to move but also left me little room to speak up. I knew she wanted to move just as much as I did, but this was the first time I'd heard her speak about it so acidly...like Forks was a disease she wanted cured of.

"I understand," Charlie finally sighed. "It's hard seeing that you're grown up now."

"Um, Dad, I've been a grown up for a while now," Bella's voice actually sounded sincere.

I actually snorted, and Charlie shot me a glare.

"Just wait until Nathan makes you a grandpa," he rebutted.

"I've got at least twenty more years before I have to worry about that," I blew off.

"Yeah, I said that, too." He narrowed his eyes, and I shut up real fast.

Charlie laughed at me before he turned his attention back to Bella.

"You'll always be my little girl." He nodded his head like he was agreeing with himself.

"So, where are you moving? Does Nathan know?"

"Yeah." I coughed to clear my throat. "Nathan helped us decide, and we're moving to North Carolina."

"The other side of the country, Bella?" Charlie stared at Bella, but all she did in return was nod her head.

"Edward, if you don't mind I'd really like a chance to talk to my daughter...alone," Charlie asked in a tone that told me there was no room for debate.

Instead, I turned to Bella and asked if that was what she wanted.

"I'll be okay," she assured me out loud, and I stood up. I didn't leave the room before I leaned down and kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear my vow to stand next to her if I was needed. She nodded at me with a small smile before turning back towards her dad.

"Who's winning?" I asked Nathan as I walked into the living room.

"We are," he answered without loosing focus of the game. "Mom didn't take it well, did she?"

"Not exactly," I replied warily.

_Was he really eight? More like twenty-eight._

"Bet you're glad I wanted you two to be together, huh?" I looked over at him to see him smirking.

"Uh..."

"Don't worry, Dad. I liked you." He turned his head back to the game, and the only thing I could do was laugh.

"I love you too, kid."

* * *

**So, Nathan knows and is supportive-but what about Bella and Charlie's heart to heart? Hmmmm. We'll get to that more next chapter, along with the lemon. Yeah, I'm nervous about writing that too! Next update in about a week-I'll try not to be late again, but RL has been kicking my ass and my girls come first. Oh, and before anyone yells-I live in Missouri ;)  
**

**Review replies this week will be a teaser for Chapter 26 AND a teaser for the one-shot I wrote for the Fandom Gives Back Compilation. I played around with what I wanted to write, and it basically came down to what was the easiest for me to write at the time-a one-shot of Edward & Bella shortly after the court drama, but before Alice called to reunited Edward with Esme. :) More outtakes will be written as I have time, but will post directly to my profile :)  
**

**SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction on Facebook **http:/www(dot)facebook(dot)com/?ref=home#!/profile(dot)php?id=100002011260119&sk=wall **and SammieLynnsMom on twitter**

**If you haven't checked out KitsuShel's newest story Rabbit Heart go do that now! I'm fortunate enough to pre-read for it, and it's simply amazing! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6754319/1/Rabbit_Heart


	27. Chapter 26

**Welcome Back to Blind Intentions!**

**Hitting over 3,000 reviews has been more than I ever expected. I never saw getting 300 let alone 3,000! You all are amazing, and just thank you!**

**Kas90 is my amazing beta!  
**

**A special thanks to morethanmyself & jadsmama for pre-reading.  
**

**

* * *

**

Bella and Charlie managed to stay sequestered in the kitchen for about twenty minutes before a teary eyed Bella came to find me. She put on a smile for Nathan, but I knew better than to assume their talk was anything but easy. We managed to get home fairly quickly, and Nathan was put to bed shortly thereafter.

Bella didn't even bother changing clothes before settling onto my lap as we sat on the couch. At first she didn't speak, but instead she just played with my shirt. She would trace her fingertips over my chest then pick at the cotton, and I knew this was her way of distracting herself. Though I remained patient and didn't push, it was impossible to keep hidden my body's natural reaction to her. I knew she felt it, but I did my best to push away my overwhelming feelings of desire. First, because the first time I made love to Bella, Nathan would not be in the house, but also because Bella needed my patience, not my penis.

"Karen may be nice," Bella eventually spoke. "I mean, I've met her...well, at The Diner anyways, and she was nice. A little too nice, but nice. My dad deserves someone nice, and..."

"Bella," I interrupted. "I think you've said the word 'nice' like five times now."

"Oh right," she quickly apologized. "It's not that I don't want him to be happy, I just think they're moving a little too fast. I mean, they've only been dating for a few months, and they're already moving in together."

"The same could be said about us you know," I pointed out, and she nodded.

"Oh, I know. My dad said that too, and he was so convinced you were forcing me to move. I tried to explain to him that I wasn't being forced, but I'm not sure he believed me. It's just, for the first time, I see, like really see, myself being happy, and I want that...I want to be happy. I wasn't unhappy before, but I wasn't happy...not happy like this." She looked up at me, and I could see she was frazzled. Despite Bella's strength, she had finally hit her break.

"You're doing it again," I whispered, and I watched her shoulders visibly drop.

"She's young, this Karen. I remember, well, she's older than me, but what if she got pregnant? I can't see my dad raising another child, and I'm just so scared she's going to break his heart," Bella explained.

"I know," I soothed with my voice as my hand rubbed circles on her back. "But Charlie is a grown man, and we have to let him make his own decisions. Just like he's backed off about us."

"Pff," Bella scoffed. "He was so convinced you were making me move he offered me my old room back."

"Well, he's coming around. A few months ago, he would have locked you in your old room and thrown away the key," I joked, and Bella finally smiled. It was a small tight smile, but I saw it, and I took full advantage.

So, instead of continuing our circular conversation that was leading us nowhere, I started to kiss her. When she immediately responded back to me, I put one hand behind her head and leaned her back. Our bodies stayed intertwined together for about an hour before we separated. All of the drama surrounding dinner had been put out of our minds for the night.

* * *

The next two weeks were busy while Bella and I sorted through e-mails and returned phone calls as we prepared our move to North Carolina. We were currently looking at areas outside of Raleigh, and with that in mind, I was busy looking at potential properties to build an office. I knew I didn't want to be part of a strip mall or an already built office building. I wanted the ability to expand the building and have it acceptable to both cars and public transportation. The more I looked, the more I realized that getting exactly what I wanted was going to be difficult, and no amount of preplanned 'research' had really helped.

Bella and I had sat down to look at potential areas to move to, and so far, the town of Apex was winning the race. We both desired the suburban feel that was far enough away from the city to not feel suffocated by it, but close enough that I could easily commute. However, that didn't mean Bella was going easy on me over money. The one aspect we continued to argue over was whether we should focus solely on moving into a gated community or not. Personally, I favored them because I felt they were safer, and given the situation with my parents, nothing was 'too cautious' in my eyes. Bella, on the other hand, felt they were too expensive.

Despite physically showing her the amount of money I had on hand, plus my assets, she still didn't understand why I wanted to spend $400,000 on a four bedroom, three bath home, with a large yard, in-ground pool, and a privacy fence. No matter how many times I explained that I wanted a house to grow in, versus moving and growing out of the house in five years, she argued that it was still too much. The truth was, I really wanted bigger, but I was compromising to keep her happy.

One night we had both had enough of each other, and it all came to a head over a house,

_"Edward, life isn't all about money," Bella sighed._

_"I never said it was. All I'm saying is that I don't mind spending a little more to get exactly what we want," I explained._

_"I get that, but to blow that much money on a house two times as big as we need, really?" she challenged._

_"Bella, you've said you'd like to have another baby, so there goes another bedroom, and then we need a guest bedroom. Honestly, I'm only looking at four bedroom houses because that is what you said. I really think we should look more towards the five or six range," I rebutted. _

_"Five bedrooms! Exactly how many more kids do you want?" If looks could kill, I would have been dead._

_"Well, not five, but another one, or maybe even two would be nice. But also think about a playroom for when my brother or sister come to town, or if Charlie comes to town...everyone will need a place to sleep," I answered in a clipped tone._

_"Fine, go buy whatever you want, I'll just live there." Bella threw up her hands, and I began to feel defeated. She turned away from me, walked out of the office door, and left me sitting there...alone. _

_I stared down at the picture of a house...the house that I thought would be perfect, but it only served to start another fight._

_Several minutes went by, and I had calmed down enough to follow after Bella._

_When I found her, she was huddled up on the couch with her head on the arm rest while her eyes stared into space. _

_I didn't know if she'd want me to touch her or not, but I decided to be daring and sit down next to her. I then moved to wrap my arms around her._

_"I'm sorry," I whispered, and I could feel her head move towards me._

_"I am, too," she whispered back. "I'm really stressing out."_

_"I know," I sighed. "I am, too."_

_Bella sat up and shifted so that I was now holding her in my arms._

_"Can we look at more houses in a few days?" Bella asked cautiously. "I just feel like this entire week has been so jammed back with moving stuff that I could use a break." _

_"Of course," I immediately responded. "What do you think of a mini vacation to North Carolina? Maybe trying to find a house online was a bad idea. We could go for a few days and actually tour some of these places."_

_"That actually sounds like a good idea," Bella responded positively. _

_"Alice and Jasper leave in a few days, so I'm sure they'll want to see us, but we could go next week. Fly out Monday and be home Thursday," I suggested._

_"What about Nathan?" Bella asked curiously._

_"We'll bring him, too, and I'll find a hotel that has suites so he has his own room. I'm sure I can find one that would carry two beds for us," I replied, though I hated what I was saying. If there was anything else that excited me about North Carolina, beyond the obvious moving out of Forks, was the prospect of moving into a 'master bedroom' with Bella. _

_"I'm sure you could, but I'm sure we could share one, too," Bella replied absentmindedly._

_"Okay," I answered not wanting to question her._

The next day I booked on a flight from Seattle to Raleigh. From there we'd rent a car and would have a room at the Hilton.  


* * *

  
"You didn't have to drop this off," I pushed as I held up a casserole dish Bella had used to feed Alice and Jasper a few nights back. Their movers had shown up, and instead of opting for pizza, Bella cooked baked ziti and garlic bread, and we all ate on their floor. "I could have come to you. I know you have to be busy."

Alice looked at me like I had two heads before explaining they had everything well underhand.

"Are you going to see Emmett tonight?" I asked casually.

"Yeah, once you drop Nathan off we're all going to dinner," she answered, and for a second, I missed the part about Nathan.

"You're going to dinner with Rosalie and Emmett, but we're not invited?" I asked mildly offended.

"We'll have Nathan, and we had dinner with you and Bella last night, remember?" she reminded me.

_"I'm going to miss you," Alice said out of nowhere. _

_Dinner had ended a while before, and Nathan was having a heated debate with his Uncle Jasper about the importance of superheros in today's society. According to Nathan, there could be no one better than Superman, but Jasper argued that Batman had it all. _

_Bella and Alice had gone into the kitchen to clean up, which left me alone to my own thoughts. Dinner had been pleasant and not overly emotional, which I appreciated, but I couldn't explain the pain I felt in my chest. _

_Alice and I hadn't been extremely close before Nathan's kidnapping, and even afterwards, I still felt like I was at arms length with her. Her confession about hating me while we were growing up was more than a little surprising, and even though we went out of our way to spend more time together, something always felt like it was missing. _

_Alice had found me on the back porch, and I immediately whipped around upon hearing her words._

_"I'm going to miss you, too," I immediately answered. _

_Alice walked up to my side and stared out at the sky just like I had been doing before she startled me. _

_"You know, you're always welcomed in Texas," she started. _

_"You're always welcomed in North Carolina," I replied._

_"I'm not sure exactly what I should be saying, but I want you to know that I really am going to miss you. I'll miss our coffee trips, and of course I'll miss Bella and Nathan," Alice's tone sounded nervous._

_"Yeah, me too. But now you have to scout out all the coffee places in Texas, so when I come to visit we can hit one up together," I tried to joke but failed miserably._

_Instead, I looked down at Alice and laughed. _

_"You know, we suck at this," I started, and she nodded in agreement. "I do love you, though, and I just want you to be happy."_

_"Thank you." She smiled. "You seem to make Bella really happy. Happier than I think I've ever seen her before, and that gives me hope."_

_"Hope for what?" I asked._

_"That we can all still be normal, even after all we've gone through," she answered as I watched one of her hands move to her belly. Alice was small framed and tiny, so only a small bump could be seen so far, but it was impossible to miss the love in her eyes when she touched her belly or spoke of my unborn niece or nephew._

_"You're going to be a great mom," I commented, and she looked over at me._

_"For the longest time, I never thought we'd ever try. I knew Jasper wanted children, but I just couldn't. I was so scared that I would hurt my child like I had been, and I didn't want to risk that," Alice explained. _

_"What changed your mind?" I asked curiously._

_"It was just a feeling. For the first time I felt like I wasn't complete...like we weren't completed, and when I sat down with Jasper, he and I agreed we wanted to try. And, well, here we are." She laughed as her whole face lit up._

_Silence followed as I took in her words. _

_"It's getting late," Alice pointed out. "We have some errands to run in the morning, but we'll see you again before we leave."_

_I turned towards Alice and gave her a hug. _

_"I love you, sis," I whispered into her ear._

_I heard a small choke, and when I pulled back from her body I saw tears forming in her eyes._

_"I told myself I wouldn't cry," she whispered more to herself than me. "I love you too, little brother." She lightly hit my arm and turned to go inside. _

_A few more minutes passed before I turned around to see Jasper staring at me from the doorway. When he saw that he had my attention he simply nodded his head, and I knew I had done right in his eyes. _

_I went to bed that night feeling like I had finally broken through with Alice. Even though we'd now be living so far apart, for the first time, I finally felt closer to her than ever before. _

"Hold on, you want Nathan to go, too?" I started to take into account what she had just said.

"Yup! You won't have a go-to babysitter soon enough, so my gift to you on my last night in this God forsaken town is a night alone with Bella," Alice explained like I should have already known her plan.

"Are you sure?" I asked incredulously. Surely Alice and Jasper had better plans than to keep Nathan on their last night in Forks.

"I am, and besides, it'll be the last time we see him for a while, so don't take this time away from me." Alice crossed her arms and gave me a hard look.

"Okay." I raised my hands in the air to show I'd surrendered.

"I just assumed you guys would have more last minute planning or something, and I didn't want him to be an inconvenience," I tried to explain.

"Well, when he becomes one, I'll let you know, but, until then, check with Bella, then drop him off at six," she ordered before turning on her heel and headed for her car.

I walked back into the house confused with what had just happened, but I noticed Bella standing in the doorway as she laughed at me.

"So, uh, I guess it's just you and me tonight?" I let my question hang in the air while I wrapped my arms around her and leaned down for a kiss.

"Ewwww...Mom, Dad!" Nathan whined, and I chuckled against Bella's lips.

With my arms still around Bella's waist, we both looked over at Nathan, who looked like he was faking gagging.

"Nathan, I thought we explained..." Bella trailed on, but Nathan shook his head, and she stopped talking.

"You did. I get it, but I don't want to see it...gross," he muttered as he walked in the direction of the kitchen.

"My kisses aren't gross," I joked. "Are my kisses gross, Bella?" I asked as our faces lined up again.

"Nope," _kiss__,_ "not,"_ kiss__,_ " at," _kiss__,_ "all."

"Hmmmm..." I hummed as my lips hovered just above her.

"Maybe we should ask Nathan if he'd like to spent the night at Alice's?" I asked after I redirected my thoughts back to where they were before.

"We should do that," Bella's voice sounded dazed.

I let my arms drop, but I gave her another chaste kiss before we meandered our way to the kitchen.

* * *

Nathan had been more than agreeable to stay with Alice once we explained all of the details, and he even boasted that he felt special because he was going to a 'special' dinner that we weren't invited to.

Bella offered to drive him over while I was sorting through papers on my desk, and I readily agreed. Nathan hadn't seemed to mind me telling him goodbye at the door, so once I heard the click, I rushed back to what I had been doing.

While putting all of my unopened mail into a pile I realized another letter from the hospital in Denver sat with them.

I huffed as I took a seat and opened the enveloped. Sure enough, it was another 'acceptance' letter to a position I still didn't want. After not hearing anything after the first letter, I simply shredded it and went on about my day like I'd never read it, but now that the second letter had shown up I was more than a little annoyed.

I read to the end and quickly dialed the phone number and extension given.

"Doctor Kasself speaking," a female's voice rang through, momentarily catching me off guard. I had assumed Dr. Rhon Kasself was a man.

"Hi, this is Edward Cullen speaking," I got out before I was interrupted.

"Oh, hi. Hi! I'm sorry, can you hold for one second," she rushed, and I heard crackling noises in the background. "My apologies, I was going through some files now, I assume you got my letter."

"Yes, I did," I started, but again was cut off.

"Great! So then you know about the position, when did you want to start?" she rushed, and my aggravation was now off the charts.

"I think there has been a misunderstanding. I never applied for a position, and I am not interested," I stated forcefully.

"I see. Well, your resume appeared on my desk, and after talking to Carlisle, I had thought..." Now it was my turn to cut her off.

"You're saying my dad is the reason I was offered this job?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, no, I mean, he called about it and said you were looking for a fresh start. He and I go way back, so I offered to look at your resume, and that was when I realized you had won the bid to come on staff out of your residency, so I did some more digging. I saw your resume, and all your contacts had nothing but stellar comments to say, so I typed up the letter, and have been waiting to hear back from you," she explained in a far less chipper tone than when we had started.

"I see. Well, despite the previous job off out of college, just like then, I'm going to have to say no. I'm currently not even speaking with my father, so I'm not sure what he would want to waste your time," I stated evenly.

"Oh," was her only reply for a minute. "Edward, if you will, you should understand the position I want you here for would open up some amazing opportunities in your field, and I understand you chose not to take the job back then because of personal reasons, but I urge you to reconsider now."

"I appreciate the opportunity, but I'm still not interested," I quipped.

"Well, then, I guess I'll pull the file I have, but, Edward, if it's a matter of money I'm sure more could be offered. Did you know they were ready to offer you twice as much when the hospital first sought you out," she tried to reel me back in with information I couldn't have cared less about.

"They offered me a lot of incentives back in college, but like I told them then, Denver isn't where I need to be, so it has nothing to do with money," I snapped. I was beyond irritated. Not just because my dad had no business stepping back into my life like this, but because I was wasting the time I had set aside to prepare before Bella came back.

I started to get this woman off the phone when I saw a shadow in the doorway causing me to drop the phone and hang up on her anyways. I then realized Bella was already home and had potentially listened to me admitting the biggest lie I had ever told her.

"_I know Forks isn't what you wanted, but they offered you a job right?" Bella asked concerned._

_"They did, and it'll be fine, I'm sure. Denver wasn't that important anyway." I faked smiled while simultaneously folding the acceptance letter and shoving it into my back pocket as quickly as possible._

_"Edward, you know if you were accepted there, Nathan and I would make it work, right?" Bella offered, but I knew better than to believe that. Not just because of the absolute emotional meltdown Bella had when she first broached the topic of moving to Forks, but also because I didn't want my son raised in a major city_.

When I first started college, I wanted to work in Denver. It had one of the top rated facilities for children, and I knew I could use it as a stepping stone to get into an even better equipped hospital. However, that was before Bella came into my life, and then Nathan. Now I had to think about him, and her by default, and that meant no Denver...as hard as that pill had been to swallow.

Hiding it from her was easy at first because I hid the letters, but once the phone calls and the offers started, it got harder. Once we officially moved to Forks and I took my position on the Pediatrics floor it all stopped, and until now I never realized I'd hear from Denver again.

"You were listening?" I asked anxiously as a cloud of emotions overtook Bella's face. I couldn't tell if the glare in her eyes was from a tear or shear anger that I had lied so many years ago. However, I stood by my decision then...they were just more important than Denver had ever been.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bella whispered with a catch in her throat. She had small silent tears rolling down her face, and every instinct in my body told me to bring her to me to comfort her.

Instead of answering, I stood up and walked to the doorway she stood in. My hand raised up to her cheek and wiped away every tear I could reach before allowing my lips fall on hers. I rested my forehead on hers and looked into her eyes.

"Because you were too important for me to lose, and from the moment you gave me the gift of our son, my life stopped being about what I wanted. I'd still go back in time and choose your happiness, and now, I love you way too much to choose anything else," I spoke with as much conviction as I felt.

"Why couldn't you have told me the truth? I would have understood," Bella pushed, but I shook my head.

"No, you wouldn't have. I mean, you would have sacrificed yourself and pushed me to take the job. I know it's hard to believe, but I did care about you then, and you needed to come home, and I never really minded Forks," I explained.

"After all these years I thought it was because this was the only job you were offered," Bella muttered absentmindedly, and I couldn't control the snort that escaped my lips. Bella caught on and glared at me. "How many offers did you get?"

"A few," I replied evasively.

"I see," Bella sighed. "Hold on, go back, though..."

"To which part?" I asked.

"You love me?" It sounded like a question, and I chuckled.

"Very much so. I've been trying to wait for the perfect moment to tell you, but I guess I screwed that up," I sighed.

"It was perfect," Bella whispered. "I love you, too."

I gasped as the four most amazing words that has even been said to me, next to 'you have a son,' echoed in my head. I saw the sincerity on her face, and I knew she wasn't lying...she loved me.

"I never though I'd ever hear you say that," I muttered. "You really love me?"

"I do. You're not the same man as before...you're different, you're more..." she trailed off as my lips crashed into hers.

Our lips together felt needy and frantic. My hands immediately moved to her face as her arms wrapped around my neck.

"Bella..." I pulled back. "We should slow..."

"It's okay...I'm ready," she assured me, and my brain had to focus on her words.

_She was ready...ready for...oh._

"You're sure?" I asked wanting to be certain.

"Yes," she answered, and I could see in her eyes she was telling the truth.

"We should move to a bedroom," I announced, and she nodded her head.

I took her by her hand and lead her into her bedroom. She not only had the comfier bed, but I also wanted her to feel safe. Even though we had technically had sex once, I still felt like a fumbling fool as my hands shook from nerves.

Bella had on a simple pair of jeans with a buttoned up plaid shirt and an undershirt. Her hair was thrown up, yet loose strands managed to fall around her shoulders. On anyone else, the look may be considered frumpy, but on Bella it was innocently erotic.

"Bella. I..." I mumbled, but she quickly silenced me with her mouth. My fingers worked to undo the buttons on the front of her shirt, while I felt her hands tug on the polo I had tucked in.

When I imagined our first time together, I had assumed we'd move slow and take our time savoring each moment, but in reality we both were in a frenzied state. Both of us pulling at the others clothes with force and purpose until we both rested on the bed that was behind us.

Once Bella's naked form had been laid out before me, I felt like I had lost all consciousness of time.

Though Bella wasn't a virgin, I knew it had still been years since she had had any sexual encounters, and, frankly, I didn't want the details of whether penetration toys had been used or not.

"I'll be careful," I heard myself saying without much understanding of how I'd said it.

"I'm not breakable," Bella countered, and though I nodded, my internal monologue was disagreeing her with.

Bella wasn't breakable, but she deserved more than a fast fuck, and as the reality of what was about to happen came crashing down around me, I realized I needed to slow us down. Bella was worth more than I was just about to give her.

Bella's legs parted to each side, and it allowed me room to sink down to her level. Our mouths met moving in sync with each other, while I used one hand to prop myself and the other to move slowly from her shoulder to breast.

When our mouths came apart, I sat back onto my knees for a second before placing my tongue on her breast. I teased and sucked each of them, all while earning soft moans from Bella's beautiful mouth. I could feel the rise and fall of her chest, along with the acceleration of her heartbeat.

One of my hands slid down to her clit and began to play with her sensitive area. In truth, I had no idea how long I would last, and I knew I needed to help Bella along before there were any joining of bodies.

Her hips would raise to meet my hand as I slid my fingers in and out of her. The tone of her moans turned more jagged and breathless, and I knew she was close.

I heard a small whimper escape as I withdrew my hand and began to line myself up to her body. Our eyes locked, and I could see the love she held for me glowing around her. Light beads of sweat had formed around her face, but she didn't look tired...if anything, she looked refreshed.

As the tip of my cock lined up with her moist opening, I found myself at a loss for words. I wanted to tell her how perfect she was, how much I loved her, and how thankful I was to have her in my life, but I couldn't. My brain was failing me, but it didn't matter, because Bella saw exactly how I felt.

"I feel the same way," she whispered, and relief washed over me as she answered my unspoken adoration for her.

I heard her hiss as I rocked into her, and even though I went slow, I could still feel how tight she was. My hips moved very slowly and gently at first until I watched her face melt of all irritation.

As our bodies joined together for the first time that I could remember, I felt every emotion in the book. I also realized that the flood of feelings were something I had never felt before...not even with my own wife.

My body seemed to move on it's own accord, and it was the sudden gasp and moan from Bella that caused me to stop thinking and just turn myself over to feeling her. When I looked up, I realized she had pulled her legs back slightly, and the new position was causing her an extreme amount of pleasure. Though it was probably egotistical to smile, I did so anyways as she came around me, squeezing me tight and causing me my own climax.

Making love to Bella for the second time was nothing like I had pictured in my mind, but it was perfect. It was perfect for us, and for the rest of the night we switched between cuddling and making use of our time alone.

* * *

**So it's still Friday in part of the country :) Next update as soon as I can get it out :) I posted an outtake last week, check it out :)  
**

**2 more chapters left, and no, I will not be doing a traditional epi!**

**Review replies are teasers this week :)**

**SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction on FB and SammieLynnsMom on twitter**

**Weekly Rec: Parma High by LadyGwynedd-So I LOVE this author and her characters are SO lovable! Check it out and leave her some love! **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6611650/1/Parma_High


	28. Chapter 27

**Welcome Back to Blind Intentions!**

**I can't thank you enough for your support-much longer a/n at the bottom!  
**

**Kas90 is my amazing beta!  
**

**A special thanks to morethanmyself & jadsmama for pre-reading.  
**

* * *

"Dad, I'm tired," Nathan whined as he moved sluggishly to the car.

"I know, buddy, but you can sleep on the way," I assured him as I finished packing up the last few bags before we headed out to Seattle.

Bella, Nathan, and I were driving to SeaTac Airport to catch a niner A.M. flight from Seattle to Raleigh. When we factored in traffic, travel time, parking, and security, we realized we'd need to leave Forks no later than three A.M. Of course, Bella was neither amused nor happy when I told her about the flight I'd scheduled, but I assured her she could sleep on the way, and it brought us into Raleigh at a decent hour.

The goal was to land in Raleigh, pick up the rental car, check into the hotel, find something to eat, and get a good nights rest. Then we'd focus on scouting out potential areas and meeting with the realtor the next day.

"Bella, go to sleep," I pushed after she yawned for the second time.

"Nah, I'd rather stay up and keep you company," she replied back with a lazy smile.

I kept one hand securely on the steering wheel while the other rested with Bella's hand on the center console.

Our relationship seemed to be constantly revolving, bu,t after our night alone, I saw an even greater change. When we woke up wrapped up in one another's arms, her defenses seemed to have dissolved. It wasn't that I thought she was unhappy, but I could always feel the last bit of her guard she hadn't relinquished. Despite picking up Nathan shortly after we woke up, and having a tearful goodbye with Alice and Jasper, Bella and I were able to sneak away and talk later on.

Nathan was playing in his room, which left Bella and I were alone in the kitchen.

_"Something is different," I spoke aloud. I wasn't sure how to address this new feeling, and it was awkward trying to word it._

_"Um, okay." Bella nodded her head but looked away slightly._

_"I don't mean a bad different. I just feel like you've finally let me in...all of me," I explained as I looked at her thoughtfully._

_Bella placed the cup she'd scrubbed six times over down into the sink and turned around to face me._

_"Edward, last night was..." Bella's voice trailed off, but I saw the hint of a blush on her cheeks as she turned her face away slightly._

_"It was for me, too," I said as I walked over to her side of the room. _

_"When I overheard your conversation with the person in Denver, at first, I was angry. I couldn't believe you'd lied to me, but, more than that, I couldn't believe I fell for it. Then I heard you explain how important your family was, and I knew you meant me and Nathan. That was when I realized that you really did care...not that I thought you didn't before, but for the first time I heard you speak so strongly about us without you knowing I was there. For the first time I felt like I could finally be free and let myself go, so I did, and you caught me. Last night was amazing, and I think for the first time I am finally seeing the future you're seeing," Bella spoke with truth and conviction. _

_"I love you," I whispered against her forehead._

_"I love you, too," I heard echoed back. _

_"Tonight I was thinking..." I trailed off._

_"Are you asking for permission to come to my bed?" Bella asked incredulously with a chuckle._

_"I guess I am," I muttered nervously._

_"Then yes, yes you can," Bella answered before kissing me and returning back to the dishes. _

That night, Bella and I spent another night in each others arms, only to repeat it again the next night.

"What are you smiling about?" Bella asked out of the blue. I quickly turned my head to see her staring aimlessly at me.

"You. Us," I answered.

"That's an awful big smile just for me," Bella mused.

"You're worth many more smiles than that," I replied honestly.

"Hmmm." Bella yawned again, and, within five minutes, she was asleep.

Both Bella and Nathan slept until I was parking the car, and despite Bella's apologies, I continued to assure her it was no big deal. I knew she was tired, and it was my own fault for booking such an early flight.

Airport security wasn't nearly as much of a nightmare as I had expected, and we got through with enough time to pick up breakfast before heading to our gate.

The trip started off smoothly, minus Bella's offhanded remark about me booking first class tickets. I simply reminded her that I couldn't downgrade now, which earned me an eye roll. I had a feeling we'd be having a hard discussion about money during this vacation, and I really wasn't looking forward to it.

Boarding the plane was easy, and we were able to quickly get Nathan situated in his seat. The flight came with pre-programmed movies and television shows, but the portable DVD player was packed anyways.

Bella gripped my hand the entire time we were ascending into the air, and that was when I learned of her fear of flying.

"Bella." I moved my lips close to her ear so Nathan wouldn't hear my panicked tone. With the grip Bella had, I was fearful that something was wrong.

"I'm sorry," Bella apologized and yanked her hand away. "I've just never been a fan of flying."

I put her hand back in mine and kissed her on her cheek.

"You can squeeze my hand anytime you need to," I soothed her. She laid her head against my shoulder, and I used my spare hand to smooth her hair down.

Once we were safely in the air, Nathan was able to watch his movies while Bella wrote furiously in her notebook, and I pulled out a few medical journals I needed to get caught up on.

* * *

"Can I help you?" the receptionist asked with a smile plastered on her face.

"We're here to check in," I explained while reaching for my license and credit card.

"What is the name, sir?" she asked sweetly while looking down at her computer screen.

"Edward Cullen," I answered, and her head snapped up quickly.

"Oh, one moment, sir. Please, let me get Mrs. Wittenberg...she's been expecting you," she rushed.

Seconds later, the young girl walked out of the office with another woman hot on her heels.

"Mr. Cullen," the woman screeched. "Welcome to the Midtown Hilton! It's such a pleasure to have you here."

_Oh Lord...Bella is already eyeing me._

"And, Mrs. Cullen, such a pleasure to meet you, as well."

"Thank you," Bella replied. I couldn't be sure if Bella was annoyed or amused.  
"You must be Nathan," Mrs. Wittenburg said as she knelt down to Nate and shook his hand. "Your dad told me an awful lot about you, and I hope you enjoy your stay with us, too."

I almost snorted at Nathan's look of utter disbelief but thought it would have been unkind.

"Mrs. Wittenberg," I started, but she cut me off.

"Oh please, call me Jaclyn," she corrected with a flutter of her eyes.

"Mrs. Wittenberg," Bella interjected clearly annoyed. "Thank you for your kindness, but our son is tired, and we'd really just love to check in so we can relax." Bella's hand immediately moved to mine as she smiled up at me.

What Mrs. Wittenberg saw was the love Bella had for me as she stared up at me, but all I felt was the shooting daggers from Bella's eyes.

"Oh, of course," she stuttered before turning away and walking behind the desk. It only took a few seconds before we were being escorted to the elevators. Apparently she has pre-checked us in earlier, and all of the paperwork and keys were already done.

On the elevator ride up, Mrs. Wittenberg explained the key function of the elevator and informed us that we would need it to access our room. It was information I already knew, but I kept my mouth shut as the lower floors passed by.

Once the elevator stopped, the first room she showed us was the Executive Leisure Room. It was a larger room with windows running along the back wall. It held several seating areas, small desks, and a flat screen television. The large buffet area was stocked with freshly brewed coffee, stuff to make tea, fresh fruits, and snacks. It was also the area where breakfast was held in the mornings and the horde'voir in the evenings.

"Miss Mary," Mrs. Wittenburg called out without warning, and a middle age woman came out of the back room.

"Hello," she greeted us politely, and I nodded my head at her.

"Miss Mary, this is the Cullen family, and they'll be here through Friday. They'll be in the Presidential Suite, and I was just giving them a tour of the Leisure room," Mrs. Wittenburg explained.

"Welcome, and I hope you enjoy your stay. If I can be of any assistance, please don't hesitate to ask," she spoke sweetly. Unlike Mrs. Wittenburg flirty tone, Miss Mary's tone sounded motherly.

"Dad," I heard Nathan whisper up at me. I looked down to see his eyes had trailed off to a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

"You haven't had dinner yet, Nate," I reminded him, but he started to pout. I looked up at Bella who shrugged.

"Grab two, but that is it," I instructed and his face lit up. For being so well behaved through the airports and flying, he deserved some sort of treat.

"Here, sweetheart, let me help you," Miss Mary spoke as she trailed behind Nate. I watched as she used the tongs to pick up two cookies and place them in a special bakery style bag.

Nathan said his thank you before we left Miss Mary to the rest of her work.

We walked down the the rest of the hall before we found our door.

"This," Mrs. Wittenburg started to say as she used the key to open the door," is the Presidential Suite. I have everything set up to your liking, including the stocked food and drinks you requested. I also added some smaller toys for your son that are in his bedroom, and a bucket of wine and chocolate covered strawberries in the master suite. If I can be of any more service, please let me know. Day or night I can be reached," her tone was anything but subtle.

"Thank you, I'm sure we have it from here," I explained before seeing her out. I reached into my wallet and gave her a generous tip and prayed she'd leave us alone for the rest of our stay.

I turned around to see Nathan had already gone off exploring while Bella stood seething.

"Edward..." Bella's face was turning red.

"Bella..." I stepped closer to her.

"Anthony..." And redder.

"Sweetheart..." And closer.

"Cullen!" And angry.

"Yes, baby?" I kissed her lips before she could say another word.

"I don't even know what to say," she huffed after I pulled away.

"Please," I begged. "Can we just enjoy our time away, please?"

She continued to huff, and it took a good two minutes before she finally started to calm down.

"Mrs. Cullen?" She raised her eyebrows at me.

I shrugged, not knowing how to respond. I had never referred to Bella as my wife when I called, but I wasn't disturbed by the mix-up.

"Fine, but we will talk about this later," she warned.

"I expected nothing less, now, for more a important question, go out, order room service, or figure out who delivers?" I asked as I eyed the clock that read well into the evening. Even with the time change, it was dinner time.

"Room service, please, "Bella answered as I watched her take in the sight of the room.

The living room area that we walked into was decorated in black and whites. A small kitchen that I had requested be stocked was off to the left with a full dining room table and chairs to it's front. A hallway lead back to three total rooms, one was the master suite where Bella and I would be sleeping, a smaller bedroom for Nathan, and another I'd hoped would go unused during our time here. However, at the rate of Bella's anger, it may be where I would be sleeping tonight.

I knew I should have told her about the room I booked, but I figured she'd try to change the reservation if she knew. The truth was, I just wanted the space and multiple rooms. Nathan would have his own room to give Bella and I some privacy, and the kitchen area provided us a place to cook when we got sick of eating out. I really didn't care how much it cost me, but, of course, Bella cared.

"This is so cool," Nathan cheered as he came through the hallway. He was holding a bag full of gifts that had been left for him, and even though I hadn't requested it, I thought it was a nice bonus.

Bella sat down and began going through everything and opened the packages, while I picked up the phone and ordered dinner. Seconds after hanging up, but the bellhop arrived with our bags, and thirty minutes after that our food was delivered.

While Nathan was full of energy when we first arrived, he could barely hold his head up through dinner. He took a few bites, pushed food around, dozed off, and repeated several times before Bella finally told him to get ready for bed.

Within minutes, he was changed and sleeping peacefully in the queen sized bed the room was furnished with.

The night was still early, but I had to admit I was tired, too. Bella started to clear the dishes so they could be moved outside, and I told her I was going to take a quick shower. In the attempts of getting everything and everyone situated, I hadn't had a chance to change out of the clothes I'd been traveling in.

When I walked into the master suite, I noticed the huge king sized bed in the middle of the room. Sitting on top of it was a tray with two wine glasses, a bottle of red wine sitting in ice, and several chocolate covered strawberries on pieces of wax paper. I smiled sadly knowing it would be going to waste tonight.

The bathroom was large and modestly decorated. It contained a large jacuzzi hot tub, along with a free standing shower and two sinks. After a quick look around, I pulled in one of my bags, shuffled around until I found a tee and sleep pants, and hoped into the shower.

* * *

"Bella," I called out, surprised as I walked out of the bathroom to see her in a sleek black nightgown with a strawberry half in her mouth.

She slightly jumped causing the juices to slide down the sides of her lips. She coughed for a second before trying to swallow the piece already in her mouth.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry, but I was waiting, and they were just staring at me, and it was so good..." she stumbled before she held up her half eaten strawberry as an offering.

I couldn't hold back my reaction...I laughed.

"I love you," I stated as my laughter wore off.

Bella reached back over to the tray and grabbed another strawberry to hand to me. I chuckled as I crossed the room and leaned down low enough to eat the strawberry out of her hand. My eyes stayed locked on hers until I had devoured the berry whole.

When I left the bathroom, all I wanted to do was sleep, now all I wanted to do was quite the opposite of sleeping.

"I thought you were still angry with me," I spoke as I sat down on the bed.

"I was never angry," Bella started, but I looked at her with disbelief. "Okay, maybe a little angry, but I knew you mean well. I just wished you'd have told me, that's all."

"Had I told you, do you think we would still be staying in this room?" I asked as I uncorked the bottle of wine.

"Probably not," Bella answered honestly. I looked up at her and offered her a glass. "Okay, I get it. I know money is still a touchy subject with me, but I just want to be included on the decision making sometimes."

"Babe, I believe I told you I'd be finding a suite so that Nathan could have his own room" I pointed out.

"You did, and I definitely expected that, however, the Presidential Suite is still a few steps up from what I was expecting," she deadpanned.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I should have been more upfront, but I just wanted to have a nice place to come back to and relax," I explained.

We both moved up towards the headboard, and I kept one arm wrapped casually around Bella while we both sipped our wine and munched on the strawberries.

A comfortable silence followed, and I relished the feeling of having Bella in my arms.

"I haven't seen this before." I nodded my head at her nightgown after a while.

"I know. I, um, didn't have a lot of nicer stuff so I ordered some online. Do you like it?" Bella asked shyly.

"Very much so, but you could make a potato sack look sexy." I chuckled, but I felt Bella's shoulder slump. "Bella, that's a good thing."

"I know," she muttered softly.

"Did I upset you?" I asked concerned at the sudden change in tone.

"No, I just wanted to impress you," she admitted.

"Oh," I started while taking the glass out of her hand and placed it on the nightstand, followed by the tray and my glass. "Are you tired?"

She shook her head no.

"Then I'm going to show you exactly how much you've impressed me," I replied with a smirk on my face.

That night came with a list of casualties.

Five Strawberries.

One Wine Glass.

One pair of panties.

And one sheet black nightgown were all lost in my efforts to show Bella exactly what her in lingerie did to me.

* * *

"Mom! Dad!" Nathan screamed the second he woke up.

Bella and I immediately snapped awake and began running to him while fumbling with the complimentary bath robes.

When the door flew open, we saw Nathan sitting on the middle of the bed with a fear stricken look on his face.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Bella cooed and climbed into bed next to him.

"I got scared," he whispered. "I forgot where we were, and when I woke up, I couldn't find you."

"Oh, buddy, we're right here," I soothed as I climbed into bed with them.

"I'm sorry," Nathan mumbled.

"Don't apologize, I'm just glad you're okay," I replied.

"What time is it?" Bella asked after Nathan appeared to calm down quite a bit.

"About seven. Time for us to get up anyway. Are you ready for breakfast, buddy?" I asked.

He nodded and we all slowly broke away to get ready for the day.

I was getting dressed when Bella came into the bathroom to shower. When her robe fell down around her, I gasped at the visible marks I'd left on her back the night before.

"What?" she asked concerned.

"Your back, I...did I do that?" I asked as I walked up to inspect the long red marks.

"I don't feel anything, what's wrong?" she questioned as she turned to see her back in the full length mirror.

"I've never...I didn't, God, I'm sorry," I started to stutter, but she just laughed.

"So, no spaghetti strap top today, got it. Edward, it's no big deal. Last night was worth it," she waved me off as she walked towards the shower.

"You're not angry?" I asked confused.

"Not in the least, last night was...intense," she reassured me, and I could tell she was sincere. Though part of me was still disgusted, because Bella was my everything and she deserved better, I was relieved to see she wasn't mad.

"Don't stress yourself out, Edward. I still love you," she called out as she shut the shower door.

The rest of the morning went by smoothly, including a trip to the Leisure Room for breakfast. Miss Mary had on a wide smile when Nathan walked in, and even though he was the only child, none of the other patrons seemed to mind his presence.

* * *

"Nathan, we're going to stop in for a meeting first. I've made sure you'll have an area to play in, but I'm sorry to say you may still be bored. We're going to talk about a few houses, and then we'll probably take a few tours," I started to explain once we were on our way to Apex.

The drive was only scheduled to take about twenty minutes according to the GPS, but I wanted Nathan to know our plan.

"Okay," he said warily from the backseat.

"I know the meeting part will be boring, but once we start looking at houses it's as much your decision as ours, okay?" I asked hoping he would cheer up.

"As long as it has a pool," he announced, and I saw Bella roll her eyes.

Ever since we decided to move, Nathan insisted the new house had to have a pool. He didn't even care if it has a kitchen-he wanted a pool.

"Of course," I agreed, and he didn't say another word.

When we arrived at the realtor, Mrs. Katelyn Honeysuckle came out to meet us. I thought I heard Bella snort when she introduced herself, but unlike the lady at the hotel, neither one of us minded calling her by her first name.

"So, first things first, welcome to Apex," she said as she pulled out a folder containing several of the houses we were already interested in touring. "So far, you have a list of five total houses. Two I can already knock off your list for different reasons, and I have several more potential options. Apex has recently gone through a bit of a housing boom, so we are in no short supply.

"The house you were looking at on Van Gogh Lane had an offered made and accepted already, so that one is out, and the one on Casteline Circle was pulled off the market. The other three are still available for a walk through, but I wanted to go over your requirements one more time. That is, if you don't mind?" she asked.

We both nodded.

"How many bedrooms?" Katelyn asked us.

I was prepared to answer, but Bella cut in.

"We were originally looking at four bedrooms, but anything up to six and we'll consider it," Bella stated evenly completely catching me of guard.

Katelyn shuffled through a few sheets of paper and began organizing them into piles.

"You said you wanted an attached garage?" she asked without looking up.

"Yes, at least two cars, but no more than three," I answered.

"And a pool?" she questioned.

"Yes, it must have a pool, or at least enough space to build one," Bella answered.

This caused several properties to go into the 'pass' pile.

"Now, Mr. Cullen, you spoke about wanting to potentially live in a gated community. Is that still desired?" she asked me directly.

I looked over at Bella who shrugged, so I explained that we'd be willing to look at either. I didn't want to put all of our eggs into one basket and make finding the perfect house impossible.

"Great, well, when would you like to start your walk throughs?" Katelyn smiled brightly at us.

"When are you available? We spoke about our limited time in the area," I reminded.

"I have my day cleared for you, so here is a list of addresses." She started writing furiously on a piece of paper. "Does your car have a GPS?"

I nodded.

"Okay, great. Apex is relatively easy to navigate, but just in case we get separated. I drive the red Taurus," she explained as she motioned out the window to her car.

"Thank you," I spoke as I looked down at the list to see a total of six addresses.

We loaded Nathan in the car and head off to Torrence Drive.

It didn't take long before we were pulling into the driveway of a beige two story house. From the front, it honestly looked like a rectangle. There was a two door garage, but the outside was not wowing. Katelyn was parked and walking towards us as Bella grabbed my hand before I could turn the car off.

"This isn't it," she stated.

"We haven't even been inside, Bella," I rebutted.

"I know, but I promise, this isn't it. I don't want to live here," she pleaded, and I nodded.

Katelyn came up to the window, and I explained that we'd be moving to the next house instead. She seemed to take the news in stride and headed back to her car.

The morning appeared to turn better when we arrived at the house on Tree View Lane. At least Bella got out of the car, but within five minutes we were walking back out again. The trend continued on through to the middle of the afternoon.

When Nathan finally complained about being hungry, we decided to forgo the last house until after lunch. The once bright and smiling Katelyn had turned very weary, and I had to admit my frustration with Bella was raising.

_"It's too small..."_

_"It's too big..."_

_"It just doesn't feel right..."_

_"The backyard isn't appealing..."_

_"I hated that bathroom..."_

It was all superficial, and, in some cases, with a little remodeling completely fixable, but Bella would have none of it. She wanted perfect, so as we drove to a nearby pizza place called Anna's Pizza, I continued to try and calm myself down.

By the third house I wanted to lash out at her, because I thought it was perfect. Five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a large back yard with a pool, a den/office area, a state of the art kitchen, and enough living space to be comfortable. The ceilings were vaulted, the stairs leading towards the second floor had a wrap around banister, the master bathroom was done in granite...I walked into it thinking it would at least be a maybe, but Bella quickly dashed my hopes. After we left there, my attitude had been hard to bring up, but I knew for no one else's sake but Nathan, he didn't need to see his parents fighting.

When we arrived downtown, I noticed an older man sitting in a set of rocking chairs just staring off into space. He smiled and nodded his head when he noticed us, but he went back to looking where he had been before.

Katelyn had warned us that the train tracks could be heard downtown throughout the day, so I wasn't surprised when the loud noises of an impending train started to sound. I looked into the direction and noticed the water-tower that read: "The Peak of Good Living."

I sighed. I felt so defeated that I was beginning to wonder if we'd leave Apex and have to choose another city all together.

A nice older lady greeted us as we entered and pointed to a table to sit at. We ordered a large pizza to split amongst us, and while we were waiting, Bella started off with the question.

"Nathan, what did you think of the houses so far?" she asked.

"I don't know, the third one was okay," he sounded too skeptical to answer.

"That was a nice house, I just don't know about the yard," she commented absentmindedly.

"What about you, Bella? Did you see anything you liked?" I snapped at her. Though my tone wasn't as snarky as I felt, it was still inappropriate.

"Um, not really," she answered while looking down.

The pizza arrived shortly thereafter, and we ate in an uncomfortable silence.

I left the restaurant to call Katelyn to let her know we were on our way to the last house of the day. It was already pretty late into the afternoon, and I knew all of our nerves were shot, but I wanted to get it out of the way for Bella to say no so we could find more to look at tomorrow.

Bella and Nathan were both using the bathroom before we left, and as I shut my cell phone I opted to take a seat in the open rocking chair to wait for them.

The older man I'd seen before was still seated where he had been, and he didn't seem bothered by my occupation of the seat next to him.

"Long day?" he asked out of nowhere.

"You could say that," I chuckled.

"You have a beautiful family," he complimented.

"Thank you," I replied back, unsure of what else to say.

"Son, we all have our bad days. But, at the end of them, we all have our families, and outside of that, we don't need anything else. Your day will get better, just wait and see. And, if it doesn't, tomorrow is a new day," he stopped speaking, and I looked over at him in shock.

I didn't know why, but his words brought me a lot of comfort.

When I looked back, I noticed Bella and Nathan coming out of the restaurant. The sun was already starting to shift, and when the sun hit Bella it made her glow. A rush of cool air blew past us, and the bottom of the sundress she'd been wearing blossomed out. For a second, she looked like an angel, and that was when I realized the old man was right. My day would get better because I had them.

I turned back to thank him, but he was already gone, so instead I looked up and said a silent prayer before meeting Bella and Nathan at the car.

* * *

The drive to the last house was a ways out, and Bella dozed off on the way.

As I parked in the driveway of the house on Markham Planation Drive, I was struck by the unique beauty of the exterior. It looked like it could have come out of a history book. The style was obviously Colonial with a traditional touch to it. The house was made of red brick with dark black trim and white columns. I immediately noticed a medium sized balcony on the second floor that I assumed connected to the master bedroom.

I'd only beaten Katelyn by a few minutes, but when I said the word 'wow' Bella startled awake.

"We're here," I announced as I exited the car.

Katelyn was busy explaining the house and all it's amenities. It was 4450 sq feet, with six bedrooms, and four bathrooms. It included a chef's kitchen with granite counter-tops, an in-ground pool with hot tub, and a screened gazebo and dock that lead to a stocked pond. Overall, the house sat on five acres of land.

As we walked from room to room, I could see it...the family pictures above the fireplace, Bella and I reading with each other in the living room, Nathan running around the backyard, and fishing together out by the pond. I was so scared to look at Bella's face for fear of rejection.

Nathan took off to explore one of the downstairs rooms, and just as Katelyn was about to move us upstairs, I asked for the main sheet and excused us to tour ourselves. She simply nodded and explained she'd go find Nathan and show him the pool area.

As Bella and I made our way up the stairs, I took a look at the price. When I saw the house was on the market for close to a million dollars, I realized right there I had already lost the battle.

When we reached the master bedroom I heard Bella lightly gasp. I looked over at her and noticed her entire face seemed to soften. I was correct in assuming the balcony connected to the bedroom, and I really could already see Bella and I lounging out during the summer and simply enjoying the company of each other.

"You haven't said anything yet," I stated cautiously.

"This is it," Bella started confidently.

"You're sure? You haven't seen the backyard, or the dock, or the..." my voice trailed off the second Bella looked over at me, and I saw tears in her eyes.

"This...this is perfect, Edward. I want this house," she ordered.

"Then we'll buy this house." I nodded my head and smiled.

"You see it too, don't you?" Bella asked and I nodded.

"Bella, I need to warn you about something, this house is a little out of the range we were looking at before," I proceeded with extreme cautious now.

"How much?" she questioned.

"Um, $950,000," I tried to whisper, but she heard me.

"We can't, I mean, we can, but I don't know. Edward?" She looked panicked.

"Yes, we can afford it, and no, I don't want to walk away from it," I pushed.

"But..." she tried, but with one finger to her lips I shut her up.

"Bella, we both know I have a lot of money. We also know you have quite a bit of money. Together we have more than a lot of money. However, none of that matters. What I see when I look at my account statements is security. I know my son will always have every basic essential he'll ever need without question. I will always be able to put a roof over our heads, there will never be a day where we have to choose between feeding Nathan or feeding us, and I swear to God Bella, I don't care what the bottom line is.

"I know money is touchy, and I understand that. I've made more mistakes with you than I can count, and for some crazy reason you've given me a chance anyway. But please, do not let a mistake I made when I was twenty-one years old ruin this. You see our family here, I see our family here, and we can afford this. I alone could afford this, and with your money too, we could buy it flat out if we wanted to. I know you think I'm flashy with money, but I swear to you, I'm not. I just want to provide for you and Nathan and give you the best possible life I can. Please let me do that," I begged her to understand that sometimes money didn't matter. This wasn't like choosing the difference between name brand jeans or a value brand, this was a home we could feasibly spend the rest of our lives in. If there was one area of life I refused to settle in, this was it.

Bella looked up at me and nodded.

"We need to talk to Nathan," she announced, and I agreed.

Before we walked downstairs to find our son, we passed a spare room close to the master bedroom. It had a large window that had a gorgeous view of the front yard.

"This room would make a great nursery," I remarked offhandedly, and Bella's head snapped towards me.

She looked thoughtful for a second before agreeing.

"Yeah, it would. A lot can be done with that window, and with the closet on that wall it would enough wall space to do a full sized mural. I bet greens and purples would look really pretty when the sun shines in, but the crib would definitely need to go in that corner..." Bella continued to rattle off about nursery designs, and all I could do was smile. She looked so animated and full of life as she spoke, and there was nothing I wouldn't give her at that moment in time.

"A girl, huh?" I joked as we moved towards the stairs.

"I'd like a daughter," Bella sounded wistful.

Before I had a chance to say anything else on the matter, Nathan was barreling up to us to explain how awesome the pool was, and how excited the pond made him. He said we had to invite Papa Charlie out to go fishing, even though he'd say it was cheating since Katelyn told him it was stocked.

As Katelyn lead us out, I explained that we'd be in contact with her tomorrow.

I still wanted to think it over for a night, and it was a decision we all needed to be a a part of.

We headed to the Breaver Creek Shopping Center for Outback and Coldstone.

* * *

"So, Nathan likes the house," I commented as I climbed into bed.

All through dinner Nathan begged us to buy it. He even offered his entire piggy bank to add to the funds. I had to chuckle at that, but it was a nice gesture. We explained to him that it was a high possibility, but we would still need to sit down and talk about it.

Once we gave him ice cream, he seemed to forget about the house long enough to eat and pass out on the way to the hotel. I ended up having to carry him to the elevator because he was too tired to walk.

"Yeah, you could say that," Bella replied as she climbed in next to me.

"Come here." I patted the pillow with my arm outstretched on it, and Bella came up and curled her body into mine.

"Now, do you still want it?" I asked honestly.

"I do," she answered softly.

Tonight Bella was donning a navy blue nightgown with sheer fabric for the sides. I could see the hint of a matching thong. As hard as it was not to focus on her clothes, or lack there of, I knew we needed to finish talking about the house.

"Are we going to offer their list value?" I asked.

"Edward," Bella spoke quietly.

"Hmmm?" I replied as my hand moved up and down her arm.

"Would you be offended if I just asked you to deal with it all? The house is perfect, and the more I think about it, the more you're right. I don't exactly like the price, but it's fair for the house and the area. I just want it, and I will probably never say this again, but I don't care what it takes to get it," she sounded cautious as she confessed her true desire for the house.

"So, I'm in charge?" I chuckled.

"Don't get an inflated ego on me now," she mocked annoyance.

"Well, something is definitely inflated, and it's not my ego." I laughed as Bella let me ravish her body for the second night in a row.

* * *

"So the plan is to drop Nathan and I off at the mall while you meet with someone, and then we meet back up and check out Jordan Lake?" Bella asked, and I nodded.

"How long do you think you'll be, Dad?" Nathan asked as we drove towards Beaver Creek.

"Hopefully no more than an hour or two. It'll give you and your mom time to eat lunch, and maybe do a little shopping," I suggested. "Maybe you can find a place to pick up a volleyball or something for the beach."

"That sounds cool," Nathan called out as he got out of the vehicle. Bella leaned over and kissed me before I drove a few blocks away to meet with a property owner about some land I wanted to build on.

From the time I parked until I walked out of the meeting, I looked down at my watch to see only ninety minutes had passed.

The meeting had gone in my favor, and the next day I would be driving around to three different locations in Raleigh to make my decision on where to build.

I pulled out my cell phone and had Bella and Nathan meet me at the entrance so we could go off for a little family time.

Jordan Lake was nice and very family oriented. Nathan was able to splash around in the water, while Bella and I stayed on land and soaked up the sun. Like I'd asked, Bella picked up a volleyball, and after a few hits back and forth Nathan announced he needed more practice. I couldn't help but laugh.

The day grew later and it was time for us to find somewhere to eat for dinner. Bella offered to cook back at the hotel, and after eating out so much, I jumped at the chance of a home cooked meal.

When we arrived back,Nathan made a quick stop for more cookies before we headed to our room. Bella told Nathan to go take a shower to get all of the sunscreen and sand off of his body, and he quickly jumped into motion.

"Why don't you go take a quick shower?" I offered Bella, but she explained she needed to start browning some meat. I took a look at the hamburger she pulled out of the refrigerator and assured her I could be in charge of that. She looked skeptical but told me it would only take her about five minutes.

As I stood in the kitchen with a spatula in my hand, I was reminded of the old man I'd met the day before. His words had never rung truer, and I was thankful for a little perspective at that moment. Had I walked into the last house with the attitude I had, I wasn't so sure if I would have still been as excited about it. I had placed a call into Katelyn earlier and gave our official offer. She told me she would inform the owners, and I would have their decision within forty-eight hours. She offered to let us tour a few more houses as a back-up plan, but I denied that. We found our house, and if we couldn't have it, we'd find somewhere else. My demands weren't unreasonable, I only asked that the closing cost and inspection be covered, and that the closing date was no later than two weeks before the new school year started. That gave us roughly six to seven weeks to finalize everything, and I'd hope that would be enough time.

Before I had a chance to burn the meat, Bella took over and gave me a chance to freshen up. I tried to playfully kiss her neck and shoulders, but she shooed me away claiming I stunk. I put my nose up in the air and walked away.

* * *

The rest of our vacation we silently sat on pins and needles. Nathan was oblivious to our stress, but waiting to hear back about the house was agonizing. After twenty-four hours I feared the worse, and even though I had found and put in an offer on the best piece of land to build an office on, it still didn't keep me happy.

When we woke up on Thursday and realized it was our last full day there, I started to panic. Friday would be hectic with doubling checking our luggage, turning in the car, and flying back home...I didn't want to do that without knowing.

We planned out the last day so we had no business to handle. In fact, we called it a hotel day. Bella and I lounge around openly cuddling and reading. Nathan played with his toys, and around noon we went for a family swim.

Though the pool was fun, and wore Nathan out enough that he needed to take a nap before dinner, and my eyes never left my cell phone. When we got back up to the room, Bella put her foot down.

"You have to stop staring at it," she said as she grabbed my phone and tried to put it on the counter.

"But what if I miss a call?" I replied back irrationally.

"Then you call back," she soothed.

"Look, Nathan is sleeping, and we've had absolutely no time to enjoy the hot tub in that bathroom...don't make me beg," she whispered seductively into my ear.

"Bella..." I strangled out.

I left my cell phone on the countertop and walked into the bathroom with Bella without a second thought.

The water was hot and the jacuzzi function was amazing on my back.

"We need to get one of these," Bella commented, and I smirked.

'If we got the house we'd have one,' I replied internally.

"You're amazing," I whispered into her ear as I began to massage her shoulders. Bella moved so she was sitting between my legs with her back against my chest.

"Mhhhhhh...that feels good." Bella sighed.

We spent out time lovingly caressing each other, cuddling up in each other arms, and kissing, but it didn't move any further than that.

When we exited the tub the first thing I checked was my phone, but I hadn't missed any calls. I decided the phone would remain on the counter and I would try not to be OCD about checking it.

Nathan eventually woke up and we caught a baseball game on the TV. Bella cooked us chicken and rice for dinner, and we all huddled around the table to eat.

Time slowly ticked away after Nathan fell back asleep for the night.

And, six minutes after nine, my phone finally rang.

* * *

"Edward, you're scaring me, what did she say?" Bella rushed out quickly.

I stood frozen in place as I hung up the phone with Katelyn.

Panic started to overtake Bella's beautiful features, but every time I moved to speak, I couldn't.

"Edward, please..." she begged, and I did the first thing I could think of...I hugged her.

"We got it," I whispered into her ear, and she actually squealed.

"For real? It's ours...for sure?" Bella asked for more confirmation than what I had just said.

"She said they accepted the offer, and, if all goes accordingly, we should be able to close in about four weeks. Bella, the house is ours...baby, it's ours," I cheered.

Our eyes locked and suddenly the excitement in the air changed. An intensity took over, and by the look in her eyes I could see she felt it too. Our lips crashed together as we began to passionately kiss; the feelings of lust and love consuming us.

In the flash of a second, Bella and I were already ripping each others clothes off. The stress and anxiety began to melt off as fast as our clothes could fly.

Bella took the lead this time and had me on my back in mere minutes, while she straddled me with both of her legs.

There were no soft caresses or murmured words of adoration, their were no forms of foreplay or even whispered 'I love yous'. That night it was about her and I coming together with such extreme emotion, relief, and excitement that words weren't needed.

Her eyes spoke for her, and everything she gave, I returned. Each thrust of her hips was met with a trust of my own, my arms cupped securely around her bottom to ensure she wouldn't fly away, and the lights were just bright enough that I could see the throw back of her head as her walls tightened around me. As her climax overtook her, she brought me with her as my hips feverishly thrusted against her for as much friction as I could feel.

That night, we both burst into a million pieces separately, and came back together as one.

* * *

Friday was met with a mix of exhaustion and frustration. We woke up a little late and that alone put Bella and I in a rushed frame of mind.

Katelyn assured us there was no paperwork needed to be dealt with just yet, and she would fax or mail anything we needed to handle before we officially moved. The closing date was set for exactly one month, which meant once we got back to Forks we'd have to hit the ground running to begin preparation of the move.

The flight home was as equally long as it was exhausting. When we landed, I realized I had a voicemail from the man who owned the property I wanted in Raleigh. Honestly, I had been so excited about the house that I hadn't given much thought to the second offer I had made. Of course, I was thrilled to find out that offer was also accepted, and I arranged for the paperwork to be done around the same time as the house. It also meant adding more to my to do list, because I now needed to get finalized blue prints and hire a construction team, put out a notice out for interviews, become certified in the state of North Carolina, and so forth.

"Good news?" Bella asked as we made our way back to our own car.

"I got the property," I stated simply.

"Everything seems to be coming together nicely," she replied positively with a smile on her face.

"Yes, it is." I reached out and grabbed her hand.

After a four and a half hour drive back to Forks, we finally arrived a little after six. Once we were inside, and Nathan was busy putting away his backpack of toys, I pulled Bella aside to talk.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked, worried. She'd been looking a little green since we'd landed, and I was beginning to worry she'd caught a bug in North Carolina. That, of course, was not including the several stops we made on the drive home so she could throw up.

"I'm fine," she brushed off. "I've just never been a fan of flying."

"If you're sure," I replied. "Still, why don't you go lie down, and I'll get Nathan settled. I can start unpacking, fix some dinner, and work on laundry."

"Fix dinner?" Bella raised her eyebrow, amused.

"Order dinner," I corrected sheepishly. She chuckled before walking off to bed.

That night I opted for ordering in pizza, but when I tried to wake Bella up she just rolled over or shooed me away. So, instead, Nathan and I enjoyed pizza in front of a ballgame on ESPN.

I made sure Nathan was bathed and dressed in pajamas before I tucked him in, only after reassuring him that Bella probably just had a stomach bug and it was nothing to worry about.

I cleaned up after the pizza box and started to unpack our bags. I did the essentials first and restocked both of the bathrooms with our toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, loofahs, and so forth. Next I moved onto separating all of the dirty clothes from the things we managed to keep clean.

I decided starting laundry would be a waste of time since I probably wouldn't have been up late enough to switch it over. Instead I opted for a quick shower before snuggling up beside Bella for the night.

As soon as my body hit the bed, she curled up into me with a sigh of contentment.

_Bella's hair blew wildly because of the wind that had suddenly appeared. Her dress expanded around her, and the sun on her skin caused her to glow. The town of Apex was empty aside from us, but I could see the sign for Anna's Pizza in the background. The rocking chair swayed back and forth, even though no one was sitting in them, and it continued for several seconds. _

_Bella was smiling as she held Nathan's hand, and I sat as an outsider to their interactions. I looked all around, but couldn't make out the view of anything else beyond them. _

_The wind died down suddenly, and my head snapped back to Bella...her once neat hair was now a mess around her face, and the soft sunshine glow of her skin now muted to it's pale tone. However, her dress never went down. _

_On second glance, I realized it wasn't the wind that was expanding Bella's dress...it was her belly..._

I startled awake as my dream came flooding back to me. I glanced at the clock and realized it was only three A.M., but I noticed Bella's eyes open and blink up at me.

"Edward," she croaked her throat dry from sleep. "What's wrong?"

"You're pregnant," I stated evenly, and Bella shot up.

"What?" she snapped.

"You're pregnant. I don't know how I know, but I just know you are. I don't even know if you're late yet, but you will be, I know this...you're pregnant." I knew what I was saying sounded crazy, but I just knew.

Bella stuck out her hands and began counting on her fingers for a few minutes before turning back towards me.

"Edward, I wouldn't be late for another three days, I really don't think..." she trailed off as I shook my head.

"Bella, you're pregnant, or you're becoming pregnant at this very second, but regardless, you are or will be," I pushed.

"Do you want me to test?" she asked quietly.

"Do you have one?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Yeah, um, I may have known about Alice before you did. She made me promise not to tell, but she was too scared to do it alone, and she wanted to know before she tested in front of Jasper," Bella explained, and for a second I was aggravated, but decided it wasn't worth it. "She left a test here."

"I think you should." I nodded my head, and Bella scurried out of bed.

When she walked back in a few minutes later her face was expressionless.

"Look, as exciting as this would be, I think you're wrong. The test is in there so you can go look, but I'd rather not get my hopes up, so have at it; it should be ready in like a minute," Bella spoke almost defensively as she crawled back into bed and turned away from me.

This was the first time I'd heard Bella say anything about wanting to be pregnant now, and even I had to admit the timing wouldn't be perfect, but I knew I was right. So, I waited the minute and walked into the bathroom. Sure enough, Bella left the stick flipped upside down on the counter top.

When I rotated it around I was met with my answer.

I walked back to the bed and sat down next to her. It was then I realized she was crying.

"Sweetheart?" I called out, but she just shook her head.

"You want to be pregnant don't you?" I questioned and she shrugged. Though she wanted me to believe in her indifference her eyes never lied to me-she wanted this, too.

"Well, then..." I trailed off as I flipped the test in her direction, it was on that test that one single solitary word was revealed...'Pregnant'.

* * *

**So this week's chapter came out a bit differently than I had pictured it, but I honestly liked it better. We're finally seeing Bella relaxed and happy versus edgy and guarded :) For those who have been asking, yes, the next chapter will be the last. I have two futuretakes planned and at least two outtakes as well. My goal is to have the last chapter up sometime next week, but it may be a few days later.**

**A few people have asked me about future projects and I do have plans for more once BI is officially done-but I'll write more about that next week.  
**

**SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction on FB and SammieLynnsMom on twitter**

**Weekly Rec: A Voice in the Darkness by katinki** http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6856375/1/A_Voice_in_the_Darkness

**The story I'm reccing this week is not pretty, there are no butterflies, or a HEA. The story is a brutally honest account of what slavery, human trafficking, and rape really is.  
****If you are unable to read Katinki's words please read her a/n's...they speak volumes!**

**There comes a time where we all have to stand up and say enough is enough. I've been apart of this fandom for about two years and in that time I've seen fics hat not only glorify, but romanticize human trafficking, slavery, rape, pedophilia, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and so forth. Some of them had people lash out immediately with pitchforks and reports of abuse to FFn, while others took off into 10K+ reviews with comments of how "hot", "sexy", "perfect" Edward is. Just because it's Edward Cullen doesn't make these fics okay-at any single moment there are 27 million slaves worldwide. Most are women and children who are brutalized, raped, and prostituted every second of every day. I'd like to assume that if the tables were turned and Bella wasn't Bella, but instead your daughter, your sister, your mother, your granddaughter...you would not be okay with it. You would not think the attacked and oppressor was "hot and sexy" because his name was Edward. When she's rescued, if she ever is, do you think one of the investigators would comment, "Oh you were raped every day, but he was attractive so it's okay, right?" NO! **

**Tom Clancy wrote, "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." **

**Fics where Edward buys Bella, uses her for his own pleasure at will, and they somehow manage to live in a HEA world with a marriage and children does not make sense. It is not reality, and if people didn't support these stories writers would not write them.**

**So I urge you to support the truth-not the false ideal that somehow Edward can do absolutely no wrong, because he's Edward Cullen!  
**


	29. Chapter 28

**Welcome Back to Blind Intentions!**

**I can't thank you enough for your support-an epic long a/n at the bottom!  
**

**Kas90 is my amazing beta!  
**

**A special thanks to morethanmyself & jadsmama for pre-reading.  
**

* * *

"How did this happen?" Bella mused after a second, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Well, you see, Bella. When two people love each other..." I trailed off when she smacked my arm.

"No, I mean, I'm just...wow," she muttered. "We're going to have a baby...well, another baby." This time her face lite up as she said it.

"I told ya," I gloated.

"So you did. How did you know?" she questioned with a twinkle in her eye.

"Remember that day we went to the pizza place in North Carolina?" I asked, and she nodded her head. "Well, while I was waiting for you guys to come out, the old man in the rocking chair gave me some advice. When you walked out, and the wind caught your dress, so, for a brief second you looked pregnant. I didn't think anything of it at the time until I woke up from a dream where I saw the same thing. Only it wasn't the wind making your dress flair out...it was the baby."

"So, a dream?" She sounded skeptical, but I just nodded back. "You said an old man gave you advice...what did he say?"

"Well, I think he could tell I was frustrated, and that I had had a long day, so he told me that no matter what, it would get better because I had my family." I remembered his words so clearly. I reached my hand out for Bella's, and she quickly took it.

"I'm sorry you were frustrated. I knew you really liked that one house, but it just wasn't it," she tried to explain, but I put a finger to her lips.

"Doesn't matter, because the last house was perfect, and I know just the room to save for this one," I spoke as I reached out my free hand to Bella's stomach.

"I'm gonna get fat again," Bella pouted, and I started to laugh.

"No, not fat, just pregnant. And you're going to be beautiful, just like you were last time," I assured her.

"Ha! I was barely twenty then my body could bounce back easier than it could now," she tried to correct me, but I refused to accept it.

We continued to talk about the baby and how the pregnancy would affect the move. Bella would only be roughly ten or so weeks when we moved, but it solidified the idea that we'd be hiring a moving company to pack and unpack for us. It also changed my game plan for my practice because I wanted to be able to take a few weeks off after the birth to stay home and help.

I had to admit, I was skeptical when Bella approached me with the idea of waiting to tell Nathan. In truth, I thought he would be happy, but I knew it would come at a price-we would have to step up our commitment to him to ensure he didn't feel replaced. However, Bella pointed out that with excitement and newness could also come tragedy, and she didn't want to explain to Nathan what a miscarriage was if the worst were to happen.

The mere mention of that word had my stomach rolling, and I started to silently pray that our baby would be healthy. Of course, I jumped on board for waiting once she pointed out her reasoning. We decided Bella would see someone locally just for a dating ultrasound to get a steady due date, and then we would find an OB the second we had officially moved. So we'd wait until Bella's second trimester to share the news with Nathan.

Several hours passed, and neither one of us could fall back asleep. Bella had gone to bed extremely early, and I was having problem with jet lag, so from about six on we just stayed in each other's arms quietly, thinking about the future ahead.

I did have to admit that our timing wasn't perfect, but neither was it with Nathan. In fact, Nathan was the epitome of horribly planning, but that didn't make me view him any differently. He was my son who I loved with my whole heart. My only fear was that we wouldn't be able to settle down in time to relax for a little while before Bella got 'too pregnant'. Even though most of our belongings would be packed and unpacked, there was still decorating, furniture shopping, and networking that needed to be done. I made a mental note to ask Bella what she thought about hiring a personal decorator, even though I was almost positive she wouldn't go for it.

We started our day when Nathan woke up around eight. Emmett and Rosalie planned to visit that afternoon and evening since it was almost time for them to leave, too. As it stood with Alice and Jasper now gone, Rosalie and Emmett only had about two weeks left, and and we were leaving two weeks after that

* * *

We had just arrived home from the grocery store, and I was putting the groceries awaywhen I heard Bella call me from the laundry room.

"Edward?" I walked in to see what was wrong. I found her standing in the center of the room with an awestruck expression. "Did you do this?" She gestured toward the sorted piles of clothes.

"Um, yeah. Did I do it wrong?" I asked. We'd been so busy since Nathan woke up that I had forgotten all about the clothes I'd sorted the night before.

"No, it's just. Thank you," she said thoughtfully. I thought I noticed a tear in her eye, and that was when I realized Bella's hormones were already acting up.

"You're welcome. Do you need any help?" I asked, but she shook her head no.

I walked out of the laundry room to finish putting the unpacked groceries away.

Rosalie, Emmett, and Joshua arrived a little after one. Bella was so busy running around the kitchen that we didn't even hear the doorbell, and, as a result, slipped about the baby news in front of Rosalie.

"Bella, breathe," I whispered into her ear as I walked up behind her. I placed my hand on her stomach and lightly kissed her neck, catching her off guard enough to stop moving.

"But, I have to..." she started, but I shook my head 'no' against her neck.

"You need to slow down," I lightly chastised her.

"Edward, I'm pregnant, not disabled," she huffed.

"Sweetheart, I would never assume something as demeaning as that. But we had a busy week, you've been up since three A.M., and pregnant or not, I'd still be telling you to relax," I explained my concern.

"You're pregnant?" I heard Rosalie whisper-shout, and we both whirled around to see her standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Um..." I started but shut my mouth.

"Nathan let us in," she explained, and Bella and I nodded simultaneously.

"Is it true?" she asked quietly while looking around to see no one else was listening.

Bella nodded her head, and Rosalie smirked.

"Does Nathan know?" she asked quietly, but I quickly told her no.

She nodded her head and shooed me away for some one-on-one time with Bella.

I found Emmett, Nathan, and Joshua in the living room. Joshua had started to crawl, and Nathan was having fun egging him on, while Emmett flipped on a game. I sat down next to him and pretended to watch, but instead focused more on the interactions of my son and nephew.

Watching them made me wonder whether Bella and I would be blessed with another son or a daughter. Bella had said she wanted a girl, and though I liked the idea of a daughter, I didn't like the idea of a teenager daughter...dating, boys, puberty. I visibly shuddered.

"You okay, man?" Emmett asked with a raised eyebrow, and I nodded.

He didn't push for anymore than that, but he also didn't seem to believe me, either.

The afternoon turned into the evening, and dinner was served.

We all chatted aimlessly about the up incoming moves, and Bella filled everyone in on North Carolina while I threw in bits and pieces about the house. Nathan would jump in and explain things that stood out to him, but it all came back to Miss Mary and the chocolate chip cookies every evening.

Once we were all finished, and Rosalie and Bella started discussing decorating ideas, Emmett and I excused ourselves to the back patio.

"Dad called the other day," he started, and my attention immediately snapped to him. I could tell Emmett had been on edge about something all afternoon, but I had no idea what was bothering him.

"Really," I said for a lack of a better reaction.

"Yeah, he mentioned trying to get a hold of you. I thought you deserved a warning," he explained.

"Uh, thanks," I replied, still taken aback.

"Are you going to talk to him?" Emmett asked me as we took a seat on the patio chairs.

"I don't know. I know I should, but I don't want to," I answered noncommittally. "Did you agree to see him?"

"Yeah, it was brief. Doesn't really change anything, though," he trailed off, and when I looked back at him, I saw his eyes were trained on his own son. Emmett was right in that regard; Dad's words now wouldn't change anything.

"I'll think about it," I stated, and he nodded.

"So, another baby?" he asked out of the blue.

"Uh, yeah," I said carefully.

"Rosalie told me," he explained, and I realized it wasn't something he saw. If we were too obvious, Nathan would figure it out, and we didn't want that.

"Yeah, we found out late last night," I recounted the night before.

"So, are you excited? It's happening all over again for you two, huh?" Emmett joked.

"Yeah. I mean, we didn't plan it this way, but it's all falling together like puzzle pieces. I'm thrilled," I stated happily.

"Good," he replied. "I'm happy for you."

"I still don't know how I got so damn lucky," I joked before tipping my beer in his direction. He reached out and clanked the bottle necks together.

"Neither do I, little brother. Neither do I," he chuckled.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before the direction of our conversation changed completely.

"So, Mom..." Emmett broached.

"What about her?" My tone turned hard.

"I ran into her while I was shopping in Port Angeles. Though, I'm not sure it was accidental, considering I was in a hardware store, and I have no idea why she was there. I said my goodbyes, told her we were moving, but didn't get specific. She gave me her new number and told me to call when we got settled," he recounted the chance meeting.

"Are you going to call?" I asked curiously.

"Doubtful, but I'll keep it...just in case," he answered. "Do you plan to talk to her before you leave? Tell her about Bella and moving?" he questioned, and I snorted.

"Definitely not. I mean, I know she's my mother, but I don't feel like any relationship is possible between us. And, really, if I tried it would only hurt Bella, and I can't do that." I shook my head of the mere thought of bringing my mother back into my life.

When you're born, you love your parent unconditionally, and they're, supposed to feel the same. However, in my case, there was just too much history and too much hurt.

"So, you're saying you'll never talk to her again because of Bella?" he asked, almost in disbelief as we started walking back inside. It was obvious Joshua needed to go home and go to sleep as we watched Rosalie struggle to calm him down.

"Yeah, I mean, if I had to decide this second, well, I'd always choose Bella. She's...she's everything," I trailed as our eyes locked, and she smiled at me.

"I'm proud of you," Emmett stated stoically.

"For what?" I asked surprised by his statement.

"For picking the right choice this time," he answered and placed his hand on my shoulder.

We both shared a nod, and I promised I'd be over to help them box stuff up the next weekend. It wouldn't be the last time we'd see them before they left, but still, time felt like it was running out too quickly.

* * *

After Emmett and Rosalie left, I helped Bella get Nathan ready for bed. We then worked together to get the kitchen cleaned up so we could relax ourselves. It was there Bella asked me about my conversation with Emmett.

"What did Emmett want to talk about?" Bella asked casually, and I started to consider what I wanted to tell her. I then realized hiding anything wouldn't be a good idea, especially after looking up to see her eyeing me expectantly.

"He saw our parents recently," I answered. "He wanted to know if I had plans to do the same."

"They were together?" Bella asked curiously, though her tone was off.

"No. My dad called him, and he agreed to meet him. Emmett said he mentioned wanting to see me. Then I guess when Em was down in Port Angeles he accidentally bumped into my mom at Lowe's," I explained.

"How did it go?" she pressed for more details.

"I think it went okay, but Emmett said it didn't change anything. I guess our mom gave him her new number and told him to keep a hold of it. He plans on it, but, at this point, doesn't plan to use it," I told Bella what Emmett had told me.

"And what about you?" Bella whispered.

"What about me?" I asked, confused.

"Do you plan on talking to her?" she asked, and I could hear her sniffling.

"Bella, are you crying?" I panicked as I whirled around and reached for her. Sure enough, a few stray tears had managed to fall from her eyes with more getting ready to fall over the brim.

"No," she lied. "I swear, I hate hormones."

I smiled down at her.

"I may meet with my dad, but I have no intentions of seeing my mom," I answered her previous question, and I watched her visibly relax.

"You didn't think..." I trailed concerned that she'd believe I'd let anyone, but especially _her_, come between us.

"Well, no, but she is your mother, and..." Bella tried to explain, but I just shook my head no.

"Oh, my beautiful, sweet, crazy girl. No one, and I mean no one, is messing us up again." I kissed her lips. "Bella, no one will rob me of you." _Kiss._ "I swear to you." _Kiss_. "I love you way too much to dream of going anywhere else."_ Kiss. _

When I pulled away, Bella's eyes had turned sultry on me. She moved her arms to around my neck and pulled up to start kissing me on her own accord. I was concerned she'd be tired, but, apparently, I was wrong. That night we went to bed together, and I slowly showed Bella exactly how much she owned my whole heart.

* * *

Three days had passed since Emmett and Rosalie came over, and we were now on our way to Charlie's for dinner.

He called Bella the day after we got home to arrange a time we could visit. He wanted to hear more about North Carolina, but he also wanted to introduce Bella to Karen.

Of course, that caused Bella to be a nervous wreck the entire time, and we went back and forth on whether we were going to tell him about the baby or not. I had put a call into an old colleague who was more than willing to see Bella after hours. The plan was to have dinner at Charlie's, meet Karen, and then leave Nathan for an hour or so while we ran to the hospital. Charlie knew about the babysitting, but Bella had been evasive as to why.

When we pulled into the driveway, I noticed a white Ford Focus already parked on the street, and I assumed that was Karen's car. Bella tensed when it came into view, but I grabbed her hand and soothed her knuckled with my fingers.

I parked and helped Bella unload all of the stuff she brought. Apparently, Charlie told Bella that Karen offered to cook, but Bella absolutely refused. I could already see the rift that was beginning to form, and felt like I needed to step in.

_"Bella, it was a nice gesture," I suggested after she fumed to me for an hour about Karen taking her place._

_"So, you're on her side now, Edward?" she snapped at me, but I just looked at her dumbfounded._

_"No, I am, and will always be, Team Bella. However, it was nice of her to offer, and I'm sure she won't be offended by you cooking. You need to relax, baby. Remember, Charlie is an adult, and we have to let him be happy," I reminded._

_"Couldn't he have started dating after, I don't know, we moved, and I didn't have to worry about it?" she pouted, and I laughed._

_"You are so sleeping on the couch tonight," she threatened, but I knew better._

_"Bella," I deadpanned._

_"Okay, no couch, and I know, but he's my dad...it's weird," she tried to explained. _

_"I love you." I kissed her forehead._

That night she promised she'd try and be nice.

Before I had a chance to knock, the door flew open to a flustered Charlie.

Great! I didn't even want to know why his face was all red or why his forehead was broken out in sweat. Bella was not going to miss this.

"Come in, sorry. I was running late from the station and just got home," Charlie tried to explain, but I raised an eyebrow at him behind Bella's back. If looks could kill, I'd be dead, but I just shook my head. I sure as heck was not about to explain to Bella what I assumed was happening before we got here.

When a woman, who I presumed was Karen, walked out of the bathroom to greet us, I had my answer.

"Bella, this is, Karen," Charlie introduced as he gestured between the women. "Karen, this is my daughter, Bella. My grandson, Nathan, and my, um, what are you again, Edward?"

"Hi, I'm Nathan's dad, and Bella's boyfriend," I introduced myself and raised my hand.

"It's nice to meet you," she said.

Before escaping into the kitchen, Bella put on a smile and said hello.

"Did I do something?" Karen asked self-consciously.

"No, she's just...adjusting," I tried to excuse Bella's cold behavior.

"I understand," she replied and looked up to Charlie who smiled.

He then walked into the kitchen to talk to Bella while I set Nathan up in the living room. We let Nathan pack a bag of toys and activities after we told him that we had another boring meeting to go to after dinner.

Karen came down to sit, but she didn't interact for a long while. She simply stared at Nathan as he used his Tag Reader to work on a new book he was reading.

It took all I had not to interrupt Bella and Charlie, but I decided it was best if I stayed out of it.

Karen eventually asked Nathan about the book he was reading and moved to sit next to him as he sounded out words and phrases he hadn't seen before.

"Do you have children?" I asked curiously.

"Um, yes, but she's no longer with us," Karen answered quietly, and I immediately apologized.

Though I jumped when I heard Bella behind me.

"I'm sorry, that must be very difficult," Bella said sympathetically. When I looked up, I could see the sincerity behind her statement was real.

"Thank you," Karen replied, and Bella announced it was time to eat.

Dinner was a little more than awkward as we all ate in silence. Bella made lasagna, garlic bread, and a salad. It was delicious, but the tension in the room could be cut with a spork. A plastic, deformed spork.

"This is great, Bella. You'll have to share your recipe," Karen complemented sweetly, and I immediately held my breath. Every warning sign in my head sounded, but I was helpless to stop the impending disaster.

"Why?" Bella snapped.

"Um, I just thought I'd make it sometime. I've never made lasagna before," she answered warily.

"Well don't start now. You can't have my recipe." The sound of her fork clashing on the plate echoed off the walls as Bella abruptly stood up and rushed upstairs to her old room.

I sighed and put my fork down.

"Dad, is Mom okay?" Nathan asked worried.

"She's fine, buddy. She's just a little emotional these days," I replied, and Charlie's head snapped to me.

"Does she have her period?" Nathan asked without missing a beat, and I choked on my water, Charlie spit pasta from his mouth, and Karen laughed.

"How do you know about that?" I asked after the shock wore off.

Nathan shrugged.

"Mom told me years ago. She said it was why she'd cry a few days out of the month," he answered like it was the most basic question ever.

"Yes, Nathan. Just like that," I finally answered. He nodded and went back to eating.

However, that didn't stop Charlie from continuing to glare at me. I simply raised in eyebrow to challenge to him, but he made no move to speak. Karen quickly picked up on our exchange and her mouth formed a small O shape.

I started to get up, but she stood and volunteered herself first.

After several minutes passed, and she hadn't come tumbling down the stairs, I assumed she was talking to Bella, and things were going okay.

Charlie didn't press on the question he had, and I checked my watch a few times to ensure we'd still be on schedule for the doctor.

To say I was shocked when twenty minutes later both women came down the stairs laughing and smiling would have been an understatement.

"Are we late?" Bella asked, and I told her not if we left at that moment. So we said our goodbye and told Nathan we'd be back in about an hour.

* * *

"So, things are better?" I asked as I started driving to the hospital.

"Yeah, we came to an understanding." Bella breathed deeply.

"Really?" I asked, shocked.

"Yeah, I mean...I don't know, she really loves my dad," Bella explained. "I don't know why I'm freaking out about this. I know you're right, and he has a right to be happy. It's just so much is changing, and he was like, my one unchanging constant, and then, he changed, too. It made me feel out of control, but she's not all that bad. I know she's quite a bit younger, but she really loves him, so I'm okay with that."

"Bella, why didn't you tell me you felt out of control?" I pushed gently.

"I don't know. I'm not even sure I realized that's how I was feeling until tonight. I love the changes we're going through, and I love you so much, but it was all so quick. It's just taken time to get used to, and acting like a spoiled teenager isn't going to help," she replied.

"I'm proud of you, Bella," I announced, and she smiled.

We were pulling into the hospital parking lot minutes later, and we used a back entrance to go up to the OB floor.

Dr. Kimberly Hornself was waiting for us in her office when we knocked. She immediately smiled and ushered us in.

"Wow, Edward. You look good, happy almost," Kimberly commented as we took a seat.

"Thanks, I owe it all to her, though," I said as I tilted my head towards Bella.

"Ah, the mysterious Bella. It's nice to finally meet you," she commented warmly. "Edward, you were worried about your dad, and I've been told he's gone home for the day, but we'll still keep this visit sealed tight.

"Now, Bella I have a little paperwork for you to fill out. Don't worry about name and date, I just need your medical history, last missed period, and the like." She handed Bella a clipboard.

While Bella was writing, Kimberly excused herself to get an exam room ready. The OB/GYN floor had portable ultrasound machines, and we'd need to use one for dating.

"Do you remember the last time we did this?" Bella asked offhandedly.

_Did I remember? How could I forget?_

We were both so nervous, and neither one of us had a clue what we were doing. I definitely felt more confident this go around.

Kimberly came back and got us a few minutes later. We moved to the exam room where Bella undressed from the bottoms down and climbed up onto the bed.

"Now Bella, you're still early, so I have no clue how much we'll see, okay?" Kimberly warned, but we already knew the risk of such an early ultrasound.

Even with the sheet covering Bella's naked legs, she was still uncomfortable as the ultrasound probe entered her body in search of her cervix. I held her hand as I patiently waited at the side of her bed. I was seated down far enough to see the turned screen, while Bella was blinded by her angle.

I squeezed her hand to let her know Kimberly had found the baby. She made me promise to so she knew not to panic. I looked up, and she smiled. Kimberly began moving the probe to get the best picture and turned the screen so Bella could see.

"Meet the newest baby Cullen," Kimberly announced, and Bella gasped as our little baby came into view. A strong heartbeat could already be seen beating away furiously in the middle of its body.

"Wow," Bella whispered with tears in her eyes.

"It looks like your due date is right on with what I'm seeing, Bella. I estimate your due date to be March tenth," Kimberly explained as she removed the probe from Bella and allowed her to sit up.

"Now, the standard with someone with your history is your first OB appointment around twelve weeks. I know you'll have moved by then, so I suggest lining someone up soon to ensure you get an appointment quickly. I'll print an extra picture for you to bring with you, but everything looks great. With the baby having such a strong heartbeat already that is a really positive sign. It stayed in the 160's the entire time.

"Of course, any bleeding, concerns, or something just doesn't feel right, please call. We'll see you if you're still local," Kimberly informed us.

"Thank you," I replied as she handed over three ultrasound pictures for us, and an extra for the next doctor.

"Anytime, Edward. If I don't see you before your move, good luck." She smiled as she excused herself so Bella could get cleaned up.

Of course, Bella kept peaking at the pictures as we walked through the hallway back towards our car. At that point, nothing could bring us down from our high. Of course, that was until I opened the back entrance to see my dad standing there waiting to ambush us.

* * *

"Edward, this door is for employees only," my dad stated evenly, and I felt Bella tense next to me.

"It's nice to see you again, Bella. I believe congratulations are in order," he announced with a hard glare towards me.

"Thank you," Bella answered politely.

"Bella, go to the car, please," I pushed and handed her my key. She looked up at me, but I urged her with my eyes to just listen. She nodded and walked past my dad towards the car.

"I figured you two would end up together," he commented.

"What do you want?" I asked irritated.

"I want to know why you're sneaking into my hospital, using my staff at your own disposal without even the courtesy of letting me know," he snapped back.

"I planned on calling. Emmett gave me your message," I rebutted.

"Yeah, when? After you moved to...where are you going again? Oh right, North Carolina..." he trailed off clearly annoyed. "I got you a job at one of the top hospitals in the country, and you have the nerve to not only turn it down, but embarrass me in the process."

"Again, what do you want?" I asked for a final time.

"Was I really that bad of a father you felt the need to embarrass me in my own hospital?" he asked, and I couldn't tell if he wanted a serious answer or not.

"Look, I don't have time for this. Bella is waiting for me, we need to pick up Nathan, and I'm not sure what you want from me. I may not have been perfect, but, to answer your question, no, you weren't good enough. You gave up on me. Hell, you gave up on all of us, and I don't care what your excuses are.

"I appreciated that you thought of me, but if you knew me at all you'd know I hated working in a hospital. I told you about how I dreamed of opening my own practice, so I'm not sure why that would shock you. However, as far as I'm concerned, you don't exist. I'm moving away, and I've moving on," I explained with a shrug.

"So, that's it?" he asks as I walked past him.

"Yeah, Dad. That's it," I stated before turning back around and walking away. When I got to the car, I was relieved that Bella had done exactly what I asked and waited in the car patiently.

Bella didn't ask any questions, but instead just offered her hand. How holding her hand could bring me so much comfort I would never know, but I also knew we'd have to wait until after Nathan was asleep to talk.

When we arrived back to Charlie's house, we were a bit surprised that Nathan had passed out on Charlie's couch.

"We can keep him," Charlie offered, but we weren't so convinced. Nathan had a bad reaction to waking up without us in the hotel, and we didn't want that again.

Bella explained that to Charlie, and he understood.

"Before you get him," Charlie started, "do you two have anything you'd like to tell me?" His moustache twitched.

"Um, yeah," Bella said as she pulled out the ultrasound pictures. "Meet your new grandchild."

Charlie looked down and blinked a few times.

"That's a baby?" he asked in question.

"Yeah, a very new baby, and we're not telling Nathan yet, so please keep it quiet," Bella explained.

"I guess congratulations are in order," Charlie announced, and Karen joined in on the sentiment.

"I'm just gonna clean up Nathan's bag first. Can you carry him to the car?" Bella asked, and I said yes.

When she walked into the living room, Charlie turned to me before I had a chance to follow.

"Again?" was all he said.

"Yes, sir," I answered, uncomfortably.

"You going to do this the right way this time, Edward?" he asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes." I nodded my head.

"Then do you have anything you'd like to ask me?" he pushed.

I shrugged my shoulders with a laugh.

"I'm going to do it with or without your permission," I shrugged off.

To my surprise, Charlie started laughing.

"Yeah, you finally grew up. You keep her happy. She's definitely happier," he trailed off as I walked in to get Nathan.

Bella tilted her head in question, but I shook my head telling her not to push.

Getting Nathan in and out of the car was a little tiring, but once we got him tucked in bed we were finally able to relax.

Bella was curled up on my chest with her eyes focused on one of the ultrasound pictures.

"You're really excited, huh?" I joked, and it broke her concentration enough to look up at me.

"Yeah, I really am. Are you?" she asked cautiously.

"So much," I assured her.

"Good, because I don't want to do this again by myself," she said sadly.

"You'll never be alone again," I whispered into her hair.

"I know," she replied. "So, what did your dad want? It looked heated."

"He was angry that I was tip-toeing around his back, and angry I didn't take the job in Denver," I answered simply. "He said I was an embarrassment and wanted to know if he had been such a bad father to deserve my treatment of him."

"What did you say?" she asked curiously.

"That my place was with you, and that didn't include Denver. That I had always wanted my own practice, and that yes, he really was that bad," I explained.

As we laid there, Bella didn't comment any further.

I rubbed my arm up and down her back, and I could see her eyes begin to flutter. I moved the picture to the nightstand, and I watched her eyes open and shut several times before deciding to stay closed.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Love you," Bella yawned. "Edward, you're a good father."

I went to bed with a smile on my face that night.

* * *

A few days later, I spent every waking second helping Emmett box up his belongings, while Rosalie and Joshua hung out with Bella and Nathan.

Even though Emmett had hired a company to take care of the big stuff and the boxes, he felt like he should pack his own valuables to ensure it was done right.

Of course, by day three he was re-thinking his philosophy.

"Fuck, why did I agree to this?" he huffed and I couldn't help but laugh. "You laugh, but it's almost your turn."

"Nope," I said proudly. "I'm hiring someone to do it all. Bella shouldn't be packing and unpacking, and with the limited time, I just decided to hire it all out."

"Fuck. You." Emmett flicked me off, and I rolled my eyes. "Speaking of moving, what are you doing with Bella's house?"

"Keeping it. It's paid for, and we'll use it when we visit," I answered.

"Smart plan," he agreed.

"So, I ran into dad, or well, he ambushed me," I started to explain the confrontation. Emmett sat and listened but didn't provide commentary until I was done.

"I have nothing nice to say about that man right now. I'm sorry Bella had to see that, but everything is okay with the baby?" he asked.

"Yeah, everything is perfect so far. Bella's hormones are out of whack big time, though. I mean, they were last time too, but not this early or this strong...I swear I've wiped more tears away this past week than I did her entire last trimester with Nathan," I explained.

"Maybe it's a girl?" he suggested.

"I hope so. Bella really wants a girl," I mused.

We got up from our break after that, and approximately twelve hours, and one hundred boxes later, we were done. The movers would take care of the rest.

* * *

A week later, we stood in our driveway giving our final goodbyes to Rosalie, Emmett, and Joshua.

"I'm going to miss you," Rosalie whispered into Bella's ear the morning they were leaving for the airport. Though we had dinner the night before, Bella made them swear she'd get to see Joshua one more time. Of course, he was asleep in his carseat, but Bella didn't care.

Emmett and I shared a hug before we watched them drive away that morning. Bella turned to me and used my chest to cry on.

"We'll visit, I promise," I tried to reassure her.

"I know, I know. It's just hard to say goodbye," she said sadly.

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's go make some breakfast," I suggested and she nodded.

Now that we only had two weeks left in Forks, our time was becoming even more scheduled. Phone calls were incoming daily, plans for the moving company to come in and pack, figuring out what to do with our vehicles, and ensuring Charlie had all the necessary paperwork to take care of Bella's house in case something happened while we were away, and I was putting the groceries away.

It was all physically and mentally exhausting. Plus, Bella had already started placing several phone calls into the hospitals and clinics in the Raleigh area.

"Edward, I have a question, and I want you to seriously think about your answer before you say anything, okay?" she asked as she scrambled eggs.

"Sure," I answered.

"Would you be okay with me just finding a midwife instead of an actual doctor?" she questioned.

"Um, yeah, I don't see why not. You can see a midwife, but only a doctor would be allowed to deliver you," I pointed out.

"About that, you know I've been calling all week, and I'm just not happy with what the hospitals have to offer. I was referred to a midwife that does homebirths, and I was curious what your take on that would be?" Bella asked so diplomatically that it took me a second to register her request. Of course, when I did, I literally dropped the fork I was washing, causing it to clank around in the sink.

I turned around to see Bella looking a little startled. It was then I realized she was serious.

"You're not kidding, are you?" I asked, and she shook her head no.

"Is that what you want?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Yeah, I mean, she's certified and comes highly recommended. She used to work as a labor and delivery nurse before deciding to leave the hospital environment. I don't plan on using medicine again, and I'd be more comfortable at home. Plus, we wouldn't have to arrange childcare for Nathan, and you'd be here to make sure the baby is okay," she said nonchalantly.

"If there is an emergency?" I asked.

"We're close enough to a hospital that I could be seen if needed," she answered. "Of course, if any complications arose, I'd agree to go in without a second thought."

"Well, I'd like to meet her first, but if this is really what you want, then I'll support you. Once the baby is born I'll make sure I have everything I need to ensure I can make sure the baby is okay," I replied.

"Thank you, I thought you'd freak," she said excitedly as she gave me a hug.

"Don't you know by now I'd do anything to make you happy?" I smirked, and she rolled her eyes.

* * *

One week before our final move, I had finally decided I was done waiting.

I had been battling myself ever since Bella and I started dating, and with the surprising news of the baby, I felt like I was trapped.

First, it was too soon, then it turned to too late.

I wanted Bella to know my decision had nothing to do with the baby-I would be asking, regardless.

So I arranged for Nathan and me to drive to Port Angeles for an afternoon while Bella spent some time with Charlie. I kissed her goodbye as she walked out the door, and then, loaded Nathan in the car a few minutes later.

On the drive up there, I realized talking to Nathan about asking Bella to marry me was going to be harder than I thought. I wasn't sure if I should be casual or serious-he was eight.

"So, are you getting excited?" I asked Nathan once we got on the long stretch of highway separating Forks and Port Angeles.

"Yeah, Mom gave me a book to look through for my room. I can't decide if I want baseball or soccer room," he answered.

"What about a sports theme? You could put all the sports together, and then not have to just pick one," I suggested.

"That's a good idea," he agreed.

"So, um, Nate, I'm not sure how to say this, so I'm just going to come out with it, okay?" I started, and I heard him chuckle at me. "Nathan what would you think about me asking your mom to marry me?"

He sat quietly in the backseat, and I did everything I could to avoid staring him down in the rear-review mirror.

"Do you mean like be together forever?" he asked for clarification.

"Yes, we'd have a wedding, and promise before God that we would be together for the rest of our lives," I broke down my thoughts to his level.

"Okay," he stated simply, and I blanched.

_That was it?_

"Do you have any questions?" I asked.

Nathan sat and thought for a second before asking when we'd get married. I told him we'd have to decide that later, but first I wanted help picking out a ring, and then I had to ask. I warned him that Bella could say no, but he rolled his eyes at that comment.

When we arrived at the jewelry store, it took us over an hour to finally find the perfect ring. Nathan actually spotted it first, and he exclaimed that it was perfect. I was currently holding a ring Nathan had deemed "too big," but when I saw the ring he was pointing to, I was instantly in love.

It was platinum with a half carat princess cut diamond with specs of pink diamonds on the side. It wasn't bulky or flashy, instead, it was feminine and beautiful. Just like Bella.

I paid for the ring, treated Nathan to ice cream, and began our trek home. He asked when I planned on asking, but I told him I wasn't sure...it would be a secret he may have to keep for a few days. He didn't seem to mind, and I just hoped I'd find the perfect moment to ask.

* * *

"This is so much easier than what Emmett did," I commented to Bella as I watched the last of our belongings get loaded up into the truck. I waited for the containers to be sealed so I could sign off on the papers and survey the overall house.

We opted to keep most of the furniture at the house in Forks for when we visited, and decided we'd do a large furniture purchase when we arrived in North Carolina. Until we had stuff arrive, I offered to book the Hilton again...Nathan was on board, of course, but Bella rolled her eyes without giving me a solid answer. I assumed one night on an air mattress, and we'd have a room, so I didn't push.

Tonight was our last night at Bella's house. We'd be staying with Charlie on our last night so we could get the house cleaned and locked away without having to worry about it early the next morning. We also decided to keep Bella's car at the house, and instead of getting rid of mine, since it was newer, we had it shipped. As soon as we got to North Carolina we would buy Bella a car that suited her needs as a soon-to-be-mom of two.

Charlie planned on taking Nathan out early the next morning to fish while we sealed up the house. So, instead of having him sit at the house while the moving company worked, he was actually having a two day sleep over with his Papa. It gave Bella and I a break from constantly making sure he was entertained, and allowed us to focus on the movers.

When the guy brought me the paperwork to sign, I was more than happy to get it done with. He gave us our copy that I'd stash away in our moving binder-something Bella put together, and then they were on their way.

"How tired are you?" I asked Bella, and she shrugged.

"What do you think about a date night out for dinner? It may be our last opportunity for a while," I suggested.

"Sure, I just need to shower first," she answered and we both went inside to shower, change clothes, and get ready.

The drive out to Port Angeles was spent in a comfortable silence. I caught Bella resting her eyes a few times, but she was wide awake when I parked at our favorite Italian restaurant.

We were seated quickly and ordered immediately.

"Are you nervous?" I asked.

"Yeah, everything is going so well I'm kinda waiting for something bad to happen, but I'm excited, too," she answered. "What about you?"

"I'm anxious. I feel like I've done as much as I can from here that I'm ready to get there and start putting plans into motion." I had finalized the blue prints I wanted to use for my office, and now I needed to hire a construction crew. I could have started that over the phone, but I wanted those meetings to be face-to-face.

"Are you sure you don't have any input for the house?" she asked, and I shrugged.

"Whatever you want to do is fine, as long as our room isn't too girly, and I know it won't be. I just want it to feel like a home, and I've seen you do that, so I trust you," I rattled on as our food arrived.

We casually chatted about North Carolina, and what we had planned for tomorrow.

At one point, while Bella talked, I was caught staring at her.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" she asked concerned.

"No, it's just...well, you're beautiful," I complimented.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. Our conversation continued back up, but I wasn't kidding...she was beautiful.

When we got back to Forks, we opted to call it a night early and snuggle in each others arms.

* * *

"You guys okay?" Charlie asked amused when we walked into his house looking like we'd been drowned, attacked by a wild animal, and thrown back into the water.

When Bella said she was waiting for something bad to happen, I think she jinxed us.

First, we found two boxes that were supposed to be on the moving truck that didn't make it. So I hauled them off to the post office and mailed them to our realtor after calling and asking for permission. Katelyn assured us it wouldn't be the first time, but still.

Then, when I went to shut off the water pipes, to ensure they wouldn't freeze once it got cold, one decided to burst and flood the kitchen. Bella was screaming, while I worked furiously to get the pump to shut off. When it finally did, the amount of water in the kitchen was heart attackinducing.

More than once I found Bella sitting on her knees sobbing in a pile of water. Each time I soothed her until she calmed down, helped her clean up, was shooed away to do something else, and repeat. It went on for hours. By the time the kitchen was finally cleaned, and dried, the day was gone.

We walked into Charlie's house looking horrible, and even Nathan had wide eyes.

We excused ourselves to clean up before dinner, which turned out to be Charlie ordering pizza.

Of course, once the food arrived and we had time to decompress, both of our moods started to lighten. Nathan was exhausted from fishing, so I was relieved when he decided to crash out early.

Charlie asked us a zillion times if we had everything we needed, and over and over again we assured him we were set.

At a quarter past nine, I asked Charlie if he minded keeping an eye on Nathan, and he gave me an odd look but agreed. I asked Bella if we could take a walk, and I was given an equally weird look, but she accepted.

The air was warm with a slight breeze. The ground was dry, and the street lights kept the area lit enough for us to stroll leisurely around. When we made it to the park about a block from Charlie's house, I pulled her over so we could sit on one of the benches.

"I'm so ready for tomorrow to be here," I commented aloud.

"I know, I'm definitely ready to leave," she agreed.

"Forks has a lot of memories," I mused.

"Yeah, it does. Some really good things happened here, but also some really terrible moments too," she said wistfully.

"Today was hell..." I sighed, and Bella agreed.

"I don't want to leave Forks on such a bad note, though," I said out loud and turned to face Bella.

"Edward, I am not having sex in a public park," she deadpanned, and I almost fell off the bench laughing.

When I could finally pry my hand from my side long enough to breathe, I sat back up.

"Bella, I love you so freaking much." I kept laughing, and she play pouted.

It took several minutes before I finally let that comment wear off.

"So, you don't want to leave on a bad note. What did you have in mind?" Bella asked obviously clueless to the ring in my pocket.

"I wanted to ask you a question," I answered evasively.

"Okay..." she drew out the word.

"Bella, when we leave this town tomorrow, I don't want to land in North Carolina without the final piece of our puzzle completed. You are, without a doubt, my best-friend, the greatest mother in the world to both of our children," I spoke as I raised one hand to her stomach for a brief second. "And you are my everything. Will you allow me to leave Forks on the greatest high of my life and accept this ring?"

I went down to one knee and pulled the little black box out of my pants pocket. When I opened it, I heard Bella gasp before she burst into tears. Through some fumbling and shaking hands I was able to place it on her finger.

"Yes," she whispered. "A million times, yes."

"I love you," I replied back as I held her body close to mine.

"I love you, too," she answered.

We stayed in the park for a while longer as Bella gushed over how perfect her ring was. She asked about Nathan, but I admitted to bringing him along, and that he had given his permission.

When we got back to Charlie's, he eyed Bella's ring, said a quick congratulations, and left us alone to sleep.

The next morning came too fast, and from waking up to sitting on the plane, the time passed in a blur. Nathan spotted the ring the second he woke up and cheered over that. Charlie drove us to Seattle, and unlike the first time, security was hell, and people were rude. However, nothing could wipe the smile off my face. Bella had agreed to marry me-I truly had everything I wanted now.

Once we were in the air, and on our way to our new life, Nathan passed out while listening to a movie, and Bella handed me the list Nathan had given her. She asked him for a wish list of things he'd like for the house in North Carolina.

_Nathan's List:_

_1. Sports room-soccer, baseball, and hockey_

_2. Bike_

_3. Diving board for the pool_

_4. A pinball machine_

_5. A brother_

_6. A television IN my bedroom!_

My eyes stopped as I re-read number five. I looked up at Bella who just smiled.

_'Well, buddy,' I thought. 'Be careful what you wish for.'_

* * *

**So it's over...I'm really unsure how this ending will be received because honestly, I know it's not the typical epilogue that show the characters x amount of years in the future. However, I really do hope you like it because this is where I always saw it ending. That being said, I will be doing two futuretakes that will post much like the weekly chapters did. I'm going to beginning writing the first one tonight, and they will post under here. A hint on the first one is "crying", and a hint on the second one is "crying' seventeen years from now ;) Confusing? I hope not!**

**To each and every single one of my readers...you are amazing! When I started writing Blind Intentions I never in a million years thought I'd see 100 reviews. I once wrote a story under a penname, 23 chapters in all and got 47 total reviews-so to see my reviews over 3200 is shocking! I am humbled by your kind words and the experiences some of you have shared with me! Thank you! **

**I want to thank the people who have helped me along the way-kas90 for picking up as my beta mid-story, stupidlamb118 who started our as my beta, tg10781 who let me quiz her husband on law enforcement questions, morethanmyself for talking me down from way too many bridges and literally being there every step of the way, jadsmama for coming in as a late pre-reader-your advice has been invaluable, Cheyenne Masen and devonsmaid for also pre-reading and helping along the way! Seriously-I'm nothing without the ladies above! A huge thank you to everyone who has talked about me, recced me, and so forth. Thank you! A special shout out to Indie Fic Pimp, Twificbitches, FictionFreak95 (formerly known as FL95), edward&bellabelongtogether (God I hope I wrote that right, but she's the amazing author of War of the Roses!), The Twi_Network, TwilightAwards, and the WaywardPushers! Also, a special shout out to the EmergencyBetaService who has beta'd my review replies for the past month! Also, to all the wonderful authors I've WC'd with along the way!**

**A few people have asked me what's next, and the simple answer is a lot. I'll be working on the two futuretakes immediately, and I am open to doing more of them if they're wanted. If their is a scene you didn't see, or would like to see, just let me know. I have a running list, and as I can, I will write them. I will be submitted Blind Intentions outtakes to the Fandom 4 Sexual Assault Awareness and Fandom Fights the Tsunami's. Plus, my crack-outtake for the ladies on the Twilighted forum. I also plan to complete The Missing Link fairly quickly. It is an Emmett and Rosalie story with a strong storyline for Edward and Bella as well. And, then, I'll be posting my new multi-chapter fic called Meeting Myself.**

**I'm still not sure how to sum up Meeting Myself except to say it's a story about finding oneself, learning to trust others, and let go of the past. It is an Edward and Bella fic, and if you donated to the Fandom for Parkinson's Disease chapter one was already released! I plan to start publishing it by the end of April, and update a lot like I did with BI. **

**Feel free to follow me on twitter at SammieLynnsMom or on Facebook as SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction!**


	30. Futuretake One

**Welcome to the 1st Futuretake of Blind Intentions!**

**I can't thank you enough for your support, love, and reviews! Enjoy!  
**

**Kas90 is my amazing beta!  
**

**A special thanks to morethanmyself & jadsmama for pre-reading.  
**

* * *

"What are you thinking about?" I whispered into Bella's hair as I watched her stare off into space.

The last three months had been a hectic blur of signing paperwork, moving in, furniture shopping, car shopping, painting, organizing, and planning, on top of everything I was doing on the side to get my own office up and running. In the past few weeks, Bella had taken to writing in her notebook several times a day, and though I knew these phases didn't tend to last long, this was the first night in four days she'd come to bed with me, and I missed her.

"When do you want to get married?" Bella blurted out, and for a second I was knocked back. On our last night in Forks, she had said yes to the most important question I had ever asked her, but once we got to North Carolina it seems to continually be put on the back burner. The truth was I hadn't had time to think about it.

"I don't know, baby. Have you been thinking about it?" I wondered. This was the first time she'd brought it up since the move, and, as much as I wanted to be married tomorrow, I couldn't imagine piling on wedding planning right now. We had just finished the house, and tomorrow we'd be having our ultrasound to see if Bella was carrying a boy or a girl. This meant after tomorrow we'd be able to begin planning the nursery...just another project to add to the list of things we already needed to do.

The house was wonderful and truly perfect for us, but it was no small task getting it put together. Though Bella never agreed to hire a personal decorator, after two weeks of trying to do everything herself, she started hiring teams of people to help. First, she had a crew come in and paint the entire house. Every room was different, and that alone threw our lives into a tailspin for nearly a month. After that, she hired a crew to come in and put the decor on the walls. Every room was filled with wall sayings and collage picture frames. The furniture was delivered the next week, and then it all came down to finishing touches. Or so she told me.

The truth was I thought everything she did was perfect. Every room was warm and friendly, and for the first time, I felt like I owned a home. It wasn't my first place, or even my first house, but it was definitely my first home. Though it was an obvious choice, our bedroom had to be my favorite room she did. The walls were painted sky blue with brown trimming. We'd chosen a dark oak for our bedroom furniture, and above the headboard was a ten by thirteen of our newest family picture. Bella kept the balcony off of our bedroom simple with lots of whites and soft blues, and, when times allowed, we'd both curl up together on the free standing hammock she ordered. As her belly got bigger, she confessed that the hammock was one of the most comfortable places to relax because it fully supported her back, so I knew we'd have many more nights to come out relaxing together under the stars.

Poor Nathan felt like he was living in a demolition zone for a while, and on a few occasions begged me to make school start sooner in the first month we were there. Of course, I laughed at that, and I would let him tag along with me during the day when my schedule allowed. I was furiously working to ensure the building was being built to code, studying for the test to certify myself in North Carolina, filling out paperwork for permits, and on, and on. Some days I swore it would never end, but I was finally reaching a point where I could slow down a little and enjoy what little time as a family of three we had left. And, now that school had officially started, we were limited to evenings and weekends for family time.

Bella was going to be twenty-two weeks tomorrow, which left us roughly eighteen weeks of peace. I was greatly looking forward to being a father again, but I remembered what it was like when Nathan was still a baby. Every night Bella and I prayed that our new little one would not have colic-if nothing else went our way, no colic.

After being here about two weeks, Bella met with her midwife Rhonda Calgary, and instantly fell in love with her. I was still a little reserved when I met her, but once I was able to check out her background and references my nerves eased up a little. The final decision was made that Rhonda would take care of all Bella's prenatal visit and deliver the baby in our home. Bella would see an OB to run all the blood work we wanted done and for an anatomy ultrasound. Of course, we were so excited about having another baby that we squeezed in an ultrasound at seventeen weeks just to have the baby refuse to cooperate. The baby measured right on target and was completely healthy, but we left without knowing whether it was a girl or a boy. So, Bella booked an appointment at a 3D ultrasound clinic, and we silently prayed we'd find out.

"Edward, you still want to get married, right?" Bella asked with a fear stricken look on her face.

"Of course, baby. Why would you think I didn't?" I replied, shocked she'd say such a thing.

"I mention a wedding, and you went off into space," her voice eased up a bit, and I leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about the last few months, and how hectic they've been. I want to get married, and, frankly, I'd prefer to get married before this baby arrives, but I don't know how in the world we'd plan it this quickly," I explained.

"Well, I was thinking about that, and I want to get married soon, too. So I was wondering what you thought of a destination wedding?" she broached.

"Um, don't you have to book those types of wedding far in advanced?" I wondered out loud.

"Normally I think you do, but after I called a few places I found one that we could book over the week of Halloween. We'd have to pull Nathan out of school for a few days, but I told them I'd call back tomorrow if we were interested," she informed me.

"Where is it?" I asked, because frankly, that sounded perfect if it would make her happy. I had already had an extravagant church wedding once and really didn't want another repeat of that. If this would be enough for Bella, then it was fine by me.

"At the Atlantis in the Bahamas," she started, but I tried to cut her off she continued. "Look, I know what you're going to say. It's a long plane ride, and you'd be worried about me and the baby, but we'll be fine, and the weather is still nice in October, and I can book a package that involves almost no real planning on my part. We all have passports, and I was going to ask you if we could just fly down our families.

"Sweetheart, I was just going to say that sounded perfect. If this is what you want, then you just tell me what you need me to do," I assured her that I was behind this plan one hundred percent.

"Really?" She looked up sweetly at me, and I just nodded. "God, I love you."

"I love you, too. Are you tired?" I asked, but she shook her head no.

"I'm hoping the baby cooperates tomorrow," she mused.

"I hope so, too. Would you like me to give him or her a stern lecture?" I joked, and she laughed.

"How did we ever get so lucky?" she said wistfully, but I had to correct her.

"I think you mean how did I ever get so lucky? You've always been perfect, and we lucked out with Nathan."

Bella smiled up at me, and I couldn't resist kissing her lips any longer. She started to inch up so our faces were closer, and then I felt her reach for the waist of my sleep pants.

"Baby, we don't have to if..." I placed my hand on her belly.

Though Bella and I were still able to fit in time for ourselves at night, her belly had recently popped, and it made things uncomfortable at times. With neither one of us having experience with sex during a pregnancy, there was a lot of fumbling and changing positions along the way.

We found the easiest position was for Bella to get on her hands and knees, but we both missed the intimacy that position lacked. It was all fine and well for quickies, but there were some nights I wanted to lavish my affections on her, and it just wasn't the same.

That was how we figured out that Bella could lay down on her side, while I moved from behind. I could still partially see her face, and it gave me access to her neck and shoulder area. Her breasts had grown too tender for me to play with during sex, and as much as I missed them, I didn't miss the expression of shear pain it caused the first time we realized I could no longer touch them.

"You have never, ever turned me down before, Edward. Please don't start now," Bella pleaded as her lips crushed back into mine.

I pulled away long enough to say 'Yes, ma'am,' before returning my lips to her mouth and trailing my hands down to remove her panties. 

* * *

"So, you find out today if I'm having a brother or a sister?" Nathan asked over breakfast, and Bella nodded. "Like, for real this time, or are you going to tell me the baby refused to show you, like last time?"

"Nathan, now that the baby is bigger it'll be harder to hide, but there is still a small chance we won't be able to find out. However, we hope we do," I tried to explain, but he just shrugged.

"Are you still going to get me early?" he asked.

"Yes, if we find out. If we don't then you're staying in class. If we do, then we'll pick you up before lunch, go into town for La Rancherita, and then to the baby store so you can help us pick out a few things," Bella informed him.

If I never ate at La Rancherita again after Bella had the baby it would be too soon, but she craved it, and Nathan loved it, so we went...often.

"Cool," Nathan replied before putting his bowl in the sink. When he walked over to Bella, knelt before her belly, and explained that he really wanted nachos for lunch so he better behave, I almost died laughing.

Once Bella was twelve weeks, we sat Nathan down to tell him the news. From the first second, he was absolutely convinced he was getting a brother. He picked out a name, lessons he was going to teach him, and even offered to clear out half of his room to move a crib in. Of course, no matter how many times we explained that it was still a fifty-fifty shot at having a boy or a girl he simply waved us off and said he had, "brotherly instincts." Bella secretly admitted to me one night that she was praying Nathan was wrong, even though she felt guilty that it would crush him. I assured her he would get over it regardless, and that we could always have a third down the road. She rolled her eyes but agreed that we weren't ready to cut out that option yet.

Once Nathan was dropped off at school, we headed into Raleigh for our appointment. I specifically took the longer route so I could drive by the office property so Bella could see it from the car. She was amazed at how fast they were building it, and wondered when I thought I'd be able to open. With Bella due in March, the truth was I was looking at June for the opening time frame. I knew once the holidays hit, our lives would be crazy, then the new baby, and with setting up agreements with insurance companies, hiring and training a new staff, furnishing and organizing, it was no small task to start an office from scratch. The average doctor who starts his own practice uses an existing building to move into and can generally open the doors pretty quickly. Of course, I went about it the harder way, but in return, I got exactly what I wanted. It was an even trade, and with the interest from my trust, plus Bella's commission coming in monthly, we were in no short supply of money.

The drive was nice, and traffic wasn't too brutal. I could tell Bella was nervous as I watched her leg constantly shake in the waiting room, but I just held her hand and stay quietly supportive. We were called back about ten minutes later, and I helped Bella get situated on the bed.

"Hi, I'm Hailey, and I'll be your tech today," a middle aged woman walked in and introduced herself. "Now, I see you requested package D, correct?"

"Yes, please," Bella said quietly, and the lady smiled.

"Okay, and were you finding out gender, or do you already know?" she asked.

"We'd like to find out," I spoke up.

"Alright, let's see what we can find. Bella, you're going to feel warm jelly on your belly," she explained as she squeezed a glob of ultrasound transmission gel onto Bella's stomach.

Hailey used the wand to find the baby, and within seconds a clear picture could be seen on the screen. I had seen 3D images before, but nothing compared to seeing one when it's your own child. When we were having Nathan, this technology wasn't quite as accessible, and outside of the standard ultrasounds, those were the only pictures we had.

"Here is your baby," Hailey explained as the monitor showed a front view of the baby's face and body. I could already see features from Bella in the face, but it looked like he or she was sleeping.

"Now, let's see. Bella your baby is down low, so you're going to feel some pressure," Hailey told Bella as I felt her brace my hand.

"Ah, there we go. This one is a tricky little baby," Hailey joked.

The second I looked up I saw it...three lines.

"Girl," I announced, and both women snapped their attention to me.

"That was fast, and you're right," Hailey said shocked. "I take it this isn't your first baby?"

"Our second; we have a son, but I'm a doctor," I explained, and she gave me an 'ah ha' face.

"Radiologist?" she asked.

"Pediatrician," I corrected, and she nodded.

"Lucky baby," the tech mused as I turned my attention to Bella who was positively beaming.

"Nathan is going to be crushed," Bella commented.

"I know, but hopefully going out to eat will soften the blow." Or, at least, I hoped.

Thirty minutes later, we were on our way to Chatam Elementary School to pick up Nathan with twenty print-outs and a thirty minute video to share. 

* * *

Before Nathan was through the office door, he fired the gender question at us, but we refused to answer. He whined, pouted, and pleaded, but we refused to spill until we were seated at La Rancherita.

Bella and I had gone out and bought two sets of presents for Nathan to open today. Both were tucked safely in the car before we left the house, but only one made it into the restaurant. Each gift bag contained a rattle, bib, bodysuit, matching shirt, and an action figure. Each bag was green, but inside one was all pink, while the other was blue. Nathan would know as soon as he spotted the contents whether he was getting a brother or a sister. The bib and bodysuit read: "Lucky to Have My Big Brother" and the matching shirt Nathan said "Big Brother to A Little XXX.' Bella ordered one for both genders and decided she would donate the one we couldn't use.

"Okay, now?" Nathan asked forcefully, and if we hadn't teased him so much, I would have corrected his tone.

"Yes, now," Bella finally relented and handed him the green bag.

We knew he was going to be upset, and hoped that doing this publicly would save us from an even bigger meltdown.

He ripped off the top layer of tissue paper and blanched when he saw the pink.

"It's pink," he stated with absolutely no excitement in his voice.

"You're going to have a sister, Nathan," I informed.

"I wanted a brother," he replied.

"Nathan, we already explained, baby. We don't get a choice, and the baby is a girl," Bella tried to soothe him, but he just kept shaking his head no.

When Bella or I would try to explain all of the perks of having a sister, he shut us right out. We ate our lunches in relative silence, and I began questioning whether this was a good idea or not. Bella was obviously hurt that Nathan was upset, and it was slowly ripping away the joy from finding out.

Nathan walked a few steps ahead of us as we walked downtown to the boutique we'd planned on stopping in. The lady who owned the store greeted us with a smile when we walked in and offered her assistance, but I think she could tell we wanted to be left alone. Nathan walked off into his own world in a sea of blue, while Bella and I silently agreed to give him his space.

I was busy looking at a wall hanging that said, "Daddy's Little Princess," when I heard a small gasp from Bella. When I looked over, I saw her eyeing a white crib with a crib set that reminded me of a meadow.

"Do you like it?" I asked as I walked up behind her.

"It reminds me of Forks; the flowers on the blanket are so pretty," she pointed out, and I agreed. "I have a magazine at home with a mural I wanted if the baby was a girl, and this would match perfectly."

"Bella, if you want it, just say the word, and it's yours," I whispered into her ear, and I felt her shiver.

"One day, you're going to get sick of trying to spoil me," Bella joked, but I assured her that was never going to happen.

Bella decided that she wanted the crib set along with the nursery furniture. With Nathan, everything we bought was in two's, or I would buy for my place, while she bought for hers. It felt like an outer worldly experience to shop together, and I was relishing in it. It was hard not to regret the decisions of my past when I could clearly see everything that we missed, but it was also subtle reminder how special the bond Bella and I shared truly was.

"Hey, I'm going to check on Nathan," Bella informed me before walking in the opposite direction. I had turned my attention to some of the clothes but quickly decided this was not my area of expertise. However, when I looked up, a sign caught my eye.

On a white washed piece of wood with purple letting it read: "Conceived in Love, Born in Love."* I looked over at the set Bella had just picked out, and to my eye, the purples complimented each other. I asked the lady to take it off the wall and put it with our pile because I wasn't leaving the store without it. The sign was the complete truth, and I wanted this baby to know how much she was loved from the first moment she was conceived.

When I turned around, I saw Nathan walking towards me with a handful of pink clothes. In his hands he carried few bodysuits that read "Little Sister," and what looked like pants, hats, and socks to match.

"She's going to need clothes, right?" Nathan asked, and I nodded with a smile. "I guess a sister won't be so bad, but I definitely don't want her sleeping in my room. I guess she can play in there as long as she sleeps somewhere else."

I laughed and was happy that Nathan was starting to digest the news.

"Go put that up on the counter while we wait for your mom to be done," I explained, and he did as I asked. I grabbed a few more things I thought would look good in her room and waited patiently as Bella talked to the store owner. I knew they were arranging a date when the furniture would be delivered, so I just tried to stay out of the way.

By the time we got back to the house, Bella needed a nap, Nathan was still slightly withdrawn, and I needed to call my siblings. Bella had woken up in the middle of the night completely excited about the wedding that she called and booked it. Now that I had dates and information, I had to call my side with the news, and pray they would all be available.

First up was Emmett who was always the easier to get a hold of. His job kept him in an office I could reach at all hours, so it was no surprise when he answered after the second ring.

"Emmett Cullen," he spoke into the phone.

"Hey, it's Edward," I replied back.

"Hey, man, I was just thinking about you. Rose called and asked if I'd heard anything. She wanted to know if she has to buy pink or blue," he rambled.

"Ah, did she not get Bella's text? I'll check her phone, but you can let her know it's a girl," I answered, and I heard him laughing in the background. "What's so funny?"

"You are so screwed man," he hollered, and I rolled my eyes. "Have you looked into guns yet?"

"Dude, don't remind me. I've got a few years, but that isn't why I'm calling. What are you doing in October? Around the 29th," I asked. It took him a few minutes to calm down, but he eventually told me nothing was planned. "So, I know its short notice, but how do you feel about the Bahamas?"

"You want me to go to the Bahamas?" he asked clearly confused.

"Uh, yeah. Bella and I are getting married, and we wanted you to come," I explained.

"Ah, I don't see why not. I'll put in for leave and talk to Rose, but count us in. I wouldn't miss the opportunity to see my little brother get married to the right girl for the first time," he goaded.

"Yeah, I know. You were right, and I was wrong," I played along.

"As long as you remember that. Look, man, I gotta go, but I'll call you this weekend and you can give me all the details so I can book flights and a room," he spoke.

"Already got all of that covered for you, but yeah, we'll talk Saturday?" I asked, and he agreed.

At first it felt weird having to schedule in phone calls with my siblings, but it was something I slowly got used to. We were all busy in our own lives, and setting aside a specific day to call made us avoid a lot of phone tag games.

Alice was up next, and she was, by far, the hardest to get a hold of. Jasper's business had taken off, and with Alice manning their office until she had the baby, I felt like I had to be penciled in most of the time.

Though my call went to voicemail, she called right back and we were able to chat for a little while.

"Pink or blue?" Alice asked the second I answered the phone.

"Did no one get Bella's text?" I muttered before telling her it was a girl.

"Awe, now I don't have to return anything pink," Alice cheered.

Alice had been so sure that she was having a girl she had bought out several stores of every pink and purple item they had just to turn around and be told their baby was a boy. Though she was disappointed, she said she'd wait until we found out before she did any returning.

"I have the cutest little outfit with tons of ruffles. I'll have to tell Bella to pack it for her hospital bag," Alice rambled and cocked my head to the side while sitting at my desk. Had Bella not told explained to Alice she was having a homebirth? They talked more often than I talked to her, and I had assumed that would come up. I knew Rosalie knew, why didn't Alice?

"Um, Alice, Bella is having the baby at home, but I'm sure we can do pictures with the outfit," I offered a compromise when the line went dead silent. "Alice, are you still there?"

"You're having the baby where?" Alice screamed into the phone.

"At home. Bella wants to have the baby at home," I answered as I brought the phone back to my ear.

"Edward, you're a doctor! Isn't that too dangerous?" She started firing questions at me left and right, asking about potential dangers and complications, but I just sighed and explained that it was no more dangerous than having the baby in a hospital.

Alice's lecture went on and on, and I got to the point when I was about to hang up when she finally shut up.

"So, why were you calling again?" she asked suddenly.

"Right, yeah. I wanted to know when you'll no longer be able to fly?" I questioned.

"Um, around November or so, why?" she inquired.

"Bella and I booked the Atlantis in October for a destination wedding, and I wanted to make sure you could come," I explained. Of course, this was also the first time I had directly told Alice that we were engaged to begin with, but I was shocked when I had to pull the phone back away from my ear.

"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?" Alice roared into the phone. "When did you get engaged? Edward? Edward? Put Bella on the phone, NOW!"

Fuck! Why did I forget to tell my very pregnant and very hormonal sister I was engaged?

"I'm sorry, Alice, but Bella is asleep," I tried to explain, but she continued to scream. "Haven't you been talking to Bella lately? None of this came up?"

"Well, not that I remember," Alice's voice went quiet.

"Alice?" I said into the phone. I didn't like the shift of her voice.

"It's nothing, I just, I'm sure she said something, it's these damn hormones. I'm sorry, can you e-mail me all of the information. Of course we'll be there," Alice reassured me it would be no problem coming, but I was still worried. I made a mental note to ask Bella about it. 

* * *

A month after our ultrasound everything from the boutique in Apex was finally ready to be delivered. Bella hired a team of painters to come in and get the room ready before it was cluttered with furniture. On one wall was a mural of a meadow with lavender and yellow flowers, green grass, and a bright blue sky. The remaining walls were done in a slightly lighter shade of lavender with yellow trim. Bella hung the sign I picked out over the window, we found ABC blocks painted in white for the opposite side, and the wall above the crib would line up the letters of the babies name, if we could ever agree on one.

When we picked out Nathan's name, it was easy. There were no fights or arguments. He was born, he looked like a Nathan, and that was it. With our daughter, Bella was bound and determined to have a name before the birth. However, every name she picked out I hated, and likewise.

While Bella favored popular names like Sophia and Lily, I wanted something a little more traditional, like Charlotte or Abigail. To say we sat on opposite sides would be an understatement, but I really didn't want my little girl going to school with ten others girls with the same name.

"Edward, can you come up here?" I heard Bella call out from the baby's room.

I found her mapping out wall space with a pencil while trying to balance a level. I tried not to snort, but I failed, and it earned me a nasty glare.

"I'm trying to figure out where to put hooks for the name, can you help?" she asked. "I want to get this done before there is a crib in my way."

"Of course, but how do you know how many hooks you'll need to hang? We haven't exactly solved the name game yet," I reminded her.

"Oh, I know, but I figured if I could map it out with a pencil, then it's at least done, and if I need less I can just erase the dot," she explained. So I held the level for her as she made ten dots on the wall.

"You still haven't caved on Lily yet, have you?" she teased, but I shook my head no.

"Not unless you've caved on Abigail," I rebutted, but she only huffed.

"This isn't working," she said as she gestured her hand in between us. For a second my eyes widened. "I don't mean us, I mean us figuring out a name."

"Oh," I breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, you could just cave."

"Or we could make new lists?" she suggested, and I considered the option.

"That's not a bad idea," I informed her before we heard the doorbell ring, causing our conversation to be put on hold.

The next few hours were spent with Bella ordering the men where to put what and waiting as it all got put together. She immediately busted the crib set out the second the crib was assembled and the mattress was placed in it.

Once the movers left, and Bella did a once over with the vacuum, she let me in to see the final product.

Truly the room looked like it came out of a magazine, but it also felt warm and inviting at the same time. There were still a lot of drawers to fill and organize, but I loved it. My heart warmed when I saw the rocking chair in the corner. Rocking with Nathan was my favorite thing to do when he was small, and I couldn't wait to do it all over again.

When I looked up at the mural and compared it to the now decorated crib and changing table, I noticed the flowers stood out to me more. The room felt cohesive, and it gave me an idea for a name, but I knew Bella wouldn't go for it.

"What? You don't like it?" Bella asked when she saw me shake my head slightly.

"No, the room is perfect. I just thought of a name, but you'd hate it, so we'll make new lists and try again," I tried to assure her that her decorating skills were amazing.

"Tell me the name," she pushed, and after a few minutes I finally blurted it out.

"Daphne," I relented. "The room made me think of the name, but I know it's not your style."

"Daphne..." Bella said slowly like she was practicing it. "Daphne Cullen. Daphne Marie Cullen."

"That's pretty," I commented knowing Marie was also Bella's middle name.

"I guess we have a name," Bella announced as she looked up at me.

"You like it?" I asked shocked.

"I do...it fits," she agreed with a smile.

"Okay, then, you just let me know when you need hooks put into the wall," I offered before giving her a kiss and making my way down to my office to sort through some more paperwork. 

* * *

"Are you sure we have everything?" Bella asked for the tenth time as I loaded the car with the last few pieces of our luggage.

"Yes, sweetheart, we have everything. The passports and tickets are in your purse, Nathan's bag is in the backseat, and both of our carry-ons are packed. Our bags are all here, and you have got to stop worrying," I reassured her that everything was going to be okay.

Our flight was leaving in four hours, and we needed to hit the road soon if we were going to make it. We were flying into the Bahamas the day before everyone else arrived so we could get checked in, and Bella could meet with the wedding planner. We were staying for a total of a week, and thanks to a teacher holiday, Nathan only had to miss a total of three days of school.

"I know, I'm just," Bella tried to explain, but I understood.

"It's all going to be just fine," I soothed.

And everything was fine until we got onto the plane, and it began to take off. Bella gripped my hand, broke into a sweat, and quietly began cursing herself for the idea of a destination wedding. He was absolutely convinced he was getting a brother from the first second, and she felt like she could breathe again. The flight was long, and traveling was especially hard on Bella because of the baby, but we made due and checked into the Atlantis that night.

* * *

"Good morning." I kissed Bella's forehead as she groaned. "It's time to get up; what time is your appointment?'

"Ten A.M.," Bella answered as she began to stretch.

When we arrived at the hotel, I was shocked speechless to find out Bella had not only booked us in the most expensive area, the Royal Towers, but also upgraded us to the two bedroom Presidential Suite. The money aspect of this didn't faze me, but for Bella to book it surprised me. When I look at her, she shrugged, and I actually felt relief. This was a huge step for her to accept the money we had.

"I like the room," I mused while Bella yawned.

"I booked it with you in mind. Are you taking Nathan to dive with the dolphins still?" she asked, and I nodded. As part of the package Bella booked, we were given two passes to swim with the dolphins, but because of Bella's pregnancy we agreed it wasn't something she was interested in doing, so instead she had the hotel agree to let me take Nathan.

I eventually rolled out of bed and opened up the curtain. The sun was shining high in the sky, and the clear blue water down below was a true sight to see. Bella started to get ready for the day as I headed into Nathan's room to wake him up.

_

"Dolphin's don't bite, do they?" Nathan asked with an odd look on his face.

"They can bite, yes, but they don't unless they're provoked. We just have to do what the trainer tells us, and we'll be fine. No worries," I assured him as we arrived at Dolphin Cay.

Donna, our instructor, introduced herself to us and gave us a small lesson on the do's and the don'ts. Since I had Nathan with me, we booked the shallow water interactions because it was the most child friendly.

Donna asked us if we were ready to get started and sent us to the locker to change into our wetsuits.

"Dad, this fits funny," Nathan complained, but I told him I knew exactly what he meant. However, they were the best suit for us to wear while we were in the water, so we'd have to deal with it.

We had an allotted time of thirty minutes given to us, but I may have paid for an extra thirty-I just wouldn't be telling that to Bella anytime soon.

Watching Nathan in the water was quite an experience. I had to stay with him, but I was still able to get quite a few pictures to share with Bella, including when the dolphin took its fin and splashed water all over Nathan's face.

When he asked about the sounds the dolphin was making, the trainer took that as her opportunity to teach Nathan more about the marine life. They chatted for a while before our time was up with Nathan asking several questions and Donna explaining the answers.

"Can we do that again sometime?" Nathan asked with a huge smile on his face as we exited the locker room.

"Sure. I told you they weren't scary," I teased.

"No, but I'm still not ever swimming with a whale. I read in a magazine at school that a trainer was killed by one at Sea World," he explained, and I was a bit shocked that was covered.

"What magazine were you reading?" I asked curiously.

"Time," he answered without missing a bit. He then looked somewhat guilty before amending that he may have taken it from the sixth grade section when he was at the library.

We were able to grab lunch before meeting back up with Bella as we waited for the rest of our family to arrive.

* * *

A little after three, we heard a knock on the door and were surprised to see everyone there. Bella had booked all of the rooms, so when we checked in, all of the keys were issued to us. We had expected a phone call to go down to the lobby, but instead they were all sent up to us.

"Come in," I said as I ushered everyone in.

The next ten minutes were filled with hellos and hugs since I hadn't seen anyone in several months. Bella had flown to Texas for a weekend about a month ago for Alice's baby shower, but she was only gone for one night. Alice and Bella playfully compared their bellies, with Alice the definite winner, and Bella snatching up Joshua shortly thereafter. Charlie and Karen hung towards the back for a minute before Charlie commented on how beautiful Bella looked.

All of the rooms were within the same building just split up on two floors, so we kept Rosalie, Emmett, and Joshua in the second two bedroom room booked on our floor, while Alice and Jasper and Charlie and Karen took the one bedroom suites on the floor below us.

We all agreed to meet for dinner that night after everyone had a chance to get settled in and relax for a while.

"Here, let me help," I offered after I walked into the bathroom to see Bella struggling to put on her necklace. It was a single tear drop diamond that I had bought her shortly after the move.

"Thank you," she whispered as she stared at me through the glass mirror.

"You okay? You seem tense," I noted.

"Just anxious," she answered as she let her back lean against me.

"I am, too. Did you ask if Rosalie and Emmett still wanted to take Nathan tomorrow night?" I questioned.

"She said they would, but I'll double check at dinner," she answered as we both went back to getting ready for dinner.

_

We chose to meet up at Mosaic for dinner because it seemed to have dishes that would appeal to everyone. The place was also casual enough that Nathan and Joshua were welcomed, and no one had to dress up.

After we were seated, we all took turns getting up to go from station to station to put our meals together, and it took a while before everyone was back at the table at once.

"How is Forks?" I asked Charlie between bites.

"Quiet," he answered, and I watched as he eyed Bella as she stood back up to get more with Karen following behind her. Ever since we moved, Bella had taken to calling Karen weekly on updates of Forks, her dad, and anything else they wanted to talk about. It was during one of those phone calls that Bella learned Karen's daughters, Cynthia, had gone away to college and was struck by a drunk driver. She passed away on the scene, and Karen's marriage split up about a year later. She moved to Forks on a whim because she wanted away from a busy city, and meeting Charlie was like a dream come true for her. It was only then that Bella finally stopped stressing over the new woman in Charlie's life. "While I have a chance, I have a question."

"Yeah?" I asked quietly to meet his hushed tone.

"How do you think Bella would handle me asking Karen to marry me?" he rushed out, and my eyes widened.

"Um, I think she'd be okay with it. When do you plan to ask?" I questioned.

"Well, I was actually thinking while we were here. I'm not the most romantic person, but I wanted to talk to Bella first. She seems to have calmed down, but you know her best now and..." he trailed off, and I understood his meaning.

"I'm sure she'll be happy," I assured him, while silently praying I was right. "But talk to her before you ask. It'll help her feel included."

I got in my last comment before the ladies both showed back up at the table, chatting about the nursery and how excited she was to show her when they flew out in March. Bella had extended the invitation to any family that wanted to come out when the baby was born, but asked that they all waited a few weeks. However, she made an exception with Charlie and Karen who agreed, but wanted to stay in a hotel. No matter how many ways we explained that the house was overwhelmingly big, they didn't care. Nathan was excited to show his Papa the fishing spot in the backyard, and we were happy he'd have a distraction while Bella was in labor.

"So, Edward," Rosalie called from her side of the table. "In case no one warned you, we'll be stealing Bella tonight, so you're having a guy's night in with Emmett, Jasper, Charlie, Joshua, and Nathan tonight."

My face dropped. I knew the tradition before couples were married was not to see each other, but I hadn't even thought about that until now. Even with Bella down the hall I didn't want to sleep by myself tonight.

"Um..." I opened and closed my mouth a few times, but couldn't figure out what else to say.

"Rose, I told you. I needed to talk to him first, and by I, I meant me. I said maybe, so maybe it still is," Bella eventually piped up as I felt her hand brush over mine.

"A guy's night sound cool," Nathan piped up, and I figured he wouldn't be on my side. He'd never give up a chance to hang out with his Uncle Emmett and Joshua.

"Bella, you know its bad luck..." Alice attempted to interject, but Bella quickly shut up her.

"We'll talk about it," she forced, and everyone went quiet for a few seconds before slowly reverting back to the conversations they were having earlier.

"How is the office coming, Edward?" Charlie asked, and I started to explain the progress that had been made. "When do you think it'll open?"

"Probably sometime in the summer. I could push for earlier, but I'm going to stay home for about a month to help Bella, and then finish up the last few things. My goal is June 1st," I explained, and he nodded the entire time I spoke.

As we all started to leave, Karen pulled me aside and asked to watch Nathan for a while. She and Charlie had taken a small nap while everyone got ready for dinner, so they were wide awake. I think she secretly knew Bella and I needed a few minutes alone, so I agreed. She told us if we needed anything to just call their room, and if they weren't there, they were going to walk down to the water with him.

When we got back to the room, stress was flowing off Bella in waves, and I knew Alice's earlier comment had gotten to her. After the year we'd had, bad luck was the last thing both one of us wanted, and even though we celebrated the one year mark of finding Nathan quietly with a special dinner as a family, I knew this time of year would still be touchy. I actually wondered if that was why Bella wanted to get married now...replace the awful memories with a date to look forward to.

"Bella?" I called softly and she slowly turned towards me. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I know," she muttered with a sigh. "I'm being selfish. I should want to spend a night with the girls, but I just..."

"Don't want to sleep alone?" I broached.

"Uh, yeah. It's hard enough getting to sleep now with you there to lean up against, and I just...I don't know," she mumbled.

"It's okay; I'll just be down the hall. If you need anything I'm a phone call away," I offered, and she nodded. "I love you, baby. By this time tomorrow you'll be my wife, and there won't ever be a night when we're not together."

"I wish," Bella chuckled. "Just wait until Daphne gets here. We'll be lucky to sleep at the same time, let alone together every night."

"Shhhhh..." I placed a finger on her lips. We were getting married, and I wasn't ready to think about that yet. "I'm going to get mine and Nathan's stuff together."

Thirty minutes later, I walked out of the room as Alice, Rosalie, and Karen waited patiently behind the door. I kissed Bella goodbye, and told her I'd see her the next day.

When the door shut, I felt a pang of loss, but I shook my thoughts away and walked down to Emmett's room.

* * *

Charlie, Jasper, and Emmett already had an array of room service ordered with more than enough beer and alcohol to last us through the night. Nathan was busy playing with Joshua, and now that he could walk, he was giving Nathan a run for his money...literally.

"So, a drink?" Charlie offered me a glass of scotch. I accepted, but told myself it would be my one and only for the night. God knew the last thing I needed was to be drunk on my wedding day-I already did that once.

"Thanks, so what's the plan?" I asked after I put Nathan and my bags in their second bedroom.

"Well," Emmett started as he pulled me away from the kids. "Karen already offered to come sit with the kids once they fall asleep, and then we figured we'd go downstairs, catch a cab, and hit up a local club."

"A club?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, it's a special club, and it'll have to do for your bachelor party," he amended, and that was when I realized what he was saying.

"Hell no!" I whispered shouted. I wanted to make sure Nathan wouldn't hear me, but fuck that. I was not leaving this hotel to go to some Bahamas strip joint while my soon-to-be-wife will probably toss and turn all night because of our baby.

"What's the big deal? Rose said I could go," Emmett pushed, and Jasper piped up saying Alice gave the same permission.

"No. I'll sit right here and order a movie or something, but I am not going to a titty bar, the answer is no," I seethed.

"What's the big deal?" Jasper asked, and my head snapped to him.

"The big deal is Bella is right down that hall. In fact, I'd have to pass her to get to the elevator, and she was already iffy about this to begin with...can you imagine how she'd feel if she knew I was going to a strip joint the night before we said our vows. No way, I respect her more than that," I stated confidently.

"Well, just so you know, Rosalie and Alice plan on taking Bella to a club, too...only of the opposite persuasion," Emmett piped up, and my eyes went wide before I considered his words.

"She won't go," I rebutted. "Bella would never, ever agree to that."

"You're so sure about that?" Jasper asked with a raised eyebrow. "Perhaps you should call her and ask?"

"Nope, I know Bella, and my Bella would not do that. There is no reason to bother her," I shot back.

"You pass," Charlie eventually piped up from behind me. I jumped and turned around to see him smirking. "What? You refused to ask for my blessing so I had to make sure you were worthy enough one way or another. You forced my hand."

"Seriously?" I looked around in disbelief and all of them started laughing at me. "Jerks."

"Oh, if you could see your face..." Emmett howled, but I just rolled my eyes and walked away.

The rest of the night went by slowly, with each minute ticking away at a snail's pace. When it finally hit midnight, I decided to lie down, feeling confident that Bella wouldn't need to call. 

* * *

The next morning dragged by so slowly that by noon I was ready to beat our door down. Of course, Jasper informed me the girls were at the spa getting massages, hair, and make-up, so it wouldn't do me any good, so I threatened to raid the spa. That only lead to more jokes at my expense.

A little while later, Nathan and I stood side by side as we got ready in the bathroom. I was shaving, and Nathan was brushing his hair.

"Dad?" I turned my head towards him to let him know he had my attention. "Nothing is going to change right? Like after tonight?"

"What do you mean?" I asked not exactly sure what he meant.

"Well, like when we get home, nothing is going to be different?" he clarified.

"Not really. Your mom and I will still be your parents, the only difference is your mom's last name will change, and we'll be wearing rings," I answered.

"Okay," he accepted before he walked off to put his shoes on.

Our ceremony was going to be held on the beach, so we decided to go with much more casual dress attire. Bella picked out a long white sundress with green accents, while Nathan and I wore coordinating green plaid shirts with khaki pants.

Unfortunately, I over-estimated the time it would take me to get ready, so I had to watch the clock slowly tick by for thirty minutes before Jasper told me it was time.

The walk down took about twenty minutes to get to the beach where I met with the minister. He asked me if I was excited, and I honestly couldn't contain the smile on my face.  
The beach was set up with two rows of chairs that kept everyone seated together versus having his and her sides. An archway decorated in white, green, and yellow flowers stood above a small wooden platform where we would say our vows. The sky was clear, the sun was beginning to set, and the waves crashing behind us made for the perfect setting.

Bella appeared thirty minutes later on Charlie's arm. Once our eyes locked, I felt all of the air rush out of my lungs. Her hair was pinned up with a white flower to the side. The dress hung loosely around her body, and the breeze made it sway from side to side. Charlie walked her down to where I was standing before giving me her hand. Emmett and Alice stood in as our bridal party, and the short ceremony began. We opted for traditional vows, and five minutes later were kissing for the first time as husband and wife.

"We're married now," Bella mused as we waited for the photographer to be done taking pictures.

"Yes, we are," I whispered back and lowered my lips to her neck. I felt her shake in my arms, and, as I pulled away, our eyes met. Both of us knew exactly where we wanted to be, but the hotel provided a small reception with dinner and a cake, so sneaking off wasn't going to happen.

"Are you ready?" she asked, and I nodded as we all trailed off into the room they had set up for dinner. Thankfully Bella kept the meal simple with chicken, rice, and asparagus with several trays of appetizers laid out on the table. They played music and we all danced around and socialized for about an hour before they brought out the cake. It was two tiered white cake with green flowers.

I weighed my options on whether I wanted to shove the cake in Bella's face or not, and when she caught my smirk she kept shaking her head no.

"But, baby, its tradition," I teased as she took a step back from me.

"We have never been traditional, Edward Anthony," she rebutted, and I laughed at the use of my middle name.

"Oh, but I thought we could start right about now," I joked as I took my piece of cake and gently put it to her lips. She cautiously opened her mouth and let me slide the piece slide right in. As she ate the piece of cake she just shook her head at me before smacking the entire piece of cake she held in my face. I mocked anger as I took a napkin and started to wipe the smeared frosting off my face.

"I love you," Bella said cautiously.

"Not nearly as much I love you, Mrs. Cullen," I whispered into her ear. We excused ourselves fifteen minutes later, but not before making sure Nathan was okay with staying with Emmett and Rosalie again. Of course, he couldn't have cared less, so Bella and I made our way to our room.

"You look gorgeous. I'm not sure I've had time to tell you that or not," I commented as we rode the elevator up.

"Thank you," she replied. "Thank you for all of this; today was perfect."

"Oh, sweetheart, if anything I should be thanking you for saying 'I do'." I kissed her forehead.

"It wasn't so hard," she teased.

Once we got back into our room, Bella took off for the bathroom, which left me waiting to figure out how the rest of our night would go. I didn't want to assume too much, but it was also our wedding night so I wanted to have sex. Frankly, I wanted to have sex with Bella every night of the week, but with our schedule and her expanding stomach, our typical every other day had turned into once or twice a week. I knew as time went on that would dwindle down even further, so I was happily taking advantage of every time Bella offered.

Once glance down at my ring, and I couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face. Bella was my wife...she actually said yes to me. I still would never know how I got so lucky, but my thoughts stopped as soon as Bella opened the bathroom door.

She stood in the doorway with her hair down, flowing over her shoulders, in a white baby doll nightgown and matching white panties. The top tied in a bow just between her breasts, and the panties were completely mesh. My eyes widened, before I stood up and walked over towards her.

"You look..." I was speechless.

"Thank you," she whispered back, and I could see a slight tremble in her shoulders. Was she nervous?

"God, Bella, seeing you in lingerie makes me wild, but, damn, seeing you in this...there are no words to describe what I'm feeling right now," I expressed lovingly without showing her exactly how caveman I felt. All I wanted to do was throw her in bed and trace very section of her skin to mark her as mine, but I knew I couldn't. Instead, I took her hand and guided her to the bed.

We laid down and kissed passionately while our hands moved over each other's bodies. When my fingers trailed over the sheer fabric of her panties I noticed something was missing...hair. I looked up in surprise.

"Do you like it? They suggested I wax, and I'd never done that before, so I tried it, and if you don't like it, I don't have to do it again..." Bella rambled, and I knew by that point she was nervous. Bella never went on tangents like that unless she was uncomfortable.

Instead of trying to explain with my words, I slipped her panties off and showed her with my mouth. My tongue traced her smooth skin, and all I heard were gasps and moans.

Our night progressed slowly until we made love for the first time as husband and wife. We then switched to cuddling, and back to sex, and back and forth, until well into the morning. All the while knowing we'd be able to sleep in the next day.

Sadly, our time at The Atlantis came and went by too quickly, and we said our tearful goodbyes to our family and set off towards different terminals at the airport. Charlie did eventually squeeze in a moment with Bella who gave her full permission, so on our final dinner together we were able to toast to the newly engaged Charlie and Karen. They joked that they'd just see a Justice of the Peace, but Bella forcefully made sure they knew she wanted to at least be present.

The plane ride home went smoothly, and after a few days, we all adjusted back into our normal routine. Nathan was back in school, Bella was writing, and I was taking care of my office.

Before we knew it, Thanksgiving came and went, as did Christmas. We flew to Texas for Christmas to meet my newest nephew, and we all stayed just long enough to ring in the New Year together. Of course, nothing good could come for all of the Cullen children together, and when Alice's doorbell rang at ten P.M. we should have known better than to answer it.

"Jasper, was that the doorbell?" Emmett asked curiously. We were all busy watching the New Year's special on the TV, Alice was in a back bedroom tending to her baby, and Nathan had passed out an hour earlier in their spare bedroom. For it being New Years, the party was very low key and quiet.

"I think so, I'll be right back," he mumbled and walked off to answer it. A minute went by before I heard shouting. Emmett and I looked at each other before bolting to the room with Bella and Rosalie trailing behind us.

"I came to see my grandchild," my mother screeched as I came to a dead halt.

"I don't give a damn if you came to see Jesus; you are not stepping foot in my house!" Jasper seethed so low even I had to take a double take.

"Ah, my boys are here, too...come see your mommy," she slurred, and that was when I realized Esme was drunk. I immediately turned around and pleaded with Bella, who had remained out of view, to go back to the living room, but she refused. Her feet were rooted into place, and she wasn't moving. Rosalie took off in hopes of catching Alice before she realized anything was wrong. Of course, Rose missed her by mere seconds, and Alice being Alice flipped out.

"What the fuck are you doing here? You're not welcomed here," Alice screamed, but all Esme did was laugh. She continued to try and push through Jasper to get in, and eventually he disappeared so Emmett took over holding her at the door.

"Edward, I spy with my little eye a ring..." she taunted as she pointed out my wedding ban. "Now, where oh where, is that gold-digging whore?"

"She's not worth it, Edward," Emmett called, but it didn't matter. I was at his side in seconds, with Alice trying to come between us in the middle. Alice was still reeling, but Bella stayed out of view until Esme looked in and spotted her.

"Oh, look here, Carlisle was right...another gold-digger baby is on the way. You should be so proud," she spoke with so much maslice behind her voice I could feel the hatred. Without thinking, I raised my hand to push her back, but stopped when I heard a gun being cocked behind me.

Emmett, Alice, and I turned around together to see Jasper aiming a shooting rifle at Esme's head. She started to laugh, but all three of us backed away quickly. I practically leaped to Bella, and began pulling her away.

"What are you going to shoot me?" Esme gasped between fits of laughter.

"Ma'am, you're in Texas. The only thing I can't do is shoot you in the back, so why don't you try stepping right in again, and we'll see who wins?" Jasper taunted.

And that was how my mother died.

Or at least that is what I wish had happened.

In truth, Esme didn't attempt to step foot in the house, but a neighbor did call the cops. She was arrested for trespassing, public intoxication, among a few others, including striking the officer who tried to cuff her.

It was then decided that each of us were filing restraining orders. None of us knew why we hadn't done it before, but the second Emmett and I got home, they were filed and approved. 

* * *

Once the New Year passed by, time seemed to speed back up again, and now we were awaiting the birth of Daphne. Bella had organized, re-arranged, and re-organized the baby's room too many times to count, but with only two weeks left to go, I kept telling her she needed to focus on resting and not re-folding the same outfit twenty times.

In the last month, Bella and I had spent every single weekend taking Nathan out and visiting different places. During the week, he was busy with school and visiting with friends, but on the weekend we made use of Jordan Lake a lot, and even took an overnight trip down to Myrtle Beach. We knew our time as a family of three was coming to an end soon, and we wanted to get in as much time with Nathan before our lives were turned upside down.

Bella had asked Karen to fly in sooner than we had originally expected because of a feeling. Charlie was going to fly out as soon as he got word that Bella had gone into labor or at forty weeks, whichever came first, while Karen would be coming in the next day.

In the morning, Bella's midwife Rhonda was scheduled to come over for a check-up. Bella's pregnancy had been progressing beautifully and with absolutely no complications. I knew she was nervous about something going wrong, but I had full confidence in Bella's ability to birth Daphne. We had a hospital on standby if the need arose, but I prayed it never came to that. Alice had taken to calling every few days to lecture me on how dangerous this was going to be, and how amazing her hospital birth was. I frankly didn't care as long as Bella was comfortable, and I wasn't surprised when Bella stopped answering the phone when Alice called. Both of my siblings were set to visit in late April over Easter, and I figured they'd patch things up then.

The night before Karen arrived, Bella woke up with contractions. She continued to tell me not to worry, and that she was going to get some water so they'd settle down. I lay in bed waiting for her to come back from the kitchen, and when she didn't thirty minutes later, I rolled out of bed to check on her. Instead, I found her on her hands and knees rocking back and forth on the living room, counting.

I rushed to her side, but she was too busy counting to acknowledge me so instead I sat there. When she finally started to breathe normally again, she looked up, and I could see it in her eyes that it was time.

I made a quick call to a car service to have Karen picked up at the airport at seven and put in another call to our midwife.

At seven-thirty, I left for a brief minute to bring Nathan to his bus stop, but only after Rhonda walked in.

As we walked down the street, Nathan asked me if the baby was coming.

"Yes, she is," I answered.

"Will she be here before I come home?" he asked, and I shrugged.

"I don't know. Sometimes babies come very quickly, while other times it can take days. We'll have to see what your sister has in store, but don't worry too much. Your mom will be just fine, and so will your sister. Try to stay focused in class, okay?" I asked, and he nodded.

The bus showed up a minute later, and as soon as it was out of sight, I started to run home.

I opened the door in time to hear Bella scream. The sound broke my soul in two as I watched her body shake as another contraction overtook her.

"I'm going to start preparing," Rhonda whispered to me.

When I knelt down next to her, I could see lit beads of sweat had formed on her forehead and her face was flushed.

"Are you thirsty?" I asked, offering anything I could to help her. She nodded her head, so I rushed into the kitchen to refill her jug of water. When I got back to her, she expressed wanting to be on the balcony.

I helped her up and held her tightly as we slowly made it up the stairs. When a contraction hit her mid-step, I held her in my arms and steadied her until she could walk again.

"I've got you," I whispered into her ear as she gripped the banister with one hand and mine with the other. She started to breathe heavier, and I could hear what sounded like counts but were too low to distinguish. "You're doing great, sweetheart," I continued to sooth until we were in our room.

"I want to go to the balcony," she managed to say between contractions, and as we stepped out into the cool brisk morning air I heard Bella sigh. Her skin was completely flushed, and though walking seemed to ease the pain slightly, it was still difficult for her to stand unsupported once a major contraction hit.

Eight eventually became nine, and I spotted the car with Karen pulling up. She immediately rushed into the house and asked what she could do. Bella didn't want anyone else in the room, and Karen knew that, so she told me she would start working on food and some cleaning. I thanked her profusely before rushing back up the stairs to Bella.

When I opened the door, I found Bella rocking back on her hands and knees again. I sat down next to her and rubbed circled into her lower back. It seemed to only ease the pain slightly, but if it helped, I'd do it for hours.

When the clock neared nine-thirty and Bella's contractions started to come every minute, we knew she was nearing the point of transition, and it would soon be time to push. Rhonda asked Bella if she wanted to be checked, but she said no. Rhonda didn't push, and sat off to the side while letting me take the role of supporting Bella.

A rubber sheet had been placed over our mattresses and then a soft throw away blanket on top so Bella wouldn't feel rubber on her skin. The lights were dim, and once the sun rose I pulled the curtains almost completely shut. I adjusted the a/c down into the 60's, but Bella still ripped off her nightgown a few minutes later and began laboring completely naked.

At ten o'clock, Bella's eyes widened as she explained she felt like she needed to push. I braced her as she pushed standing up for several minutes, allowing gravity to take its natural course and help Daphne lock into position.

"I need to lie down," Bella informed us, and I helped Bella move to the center of our bed. Rhonda asked me to sit behind Bella and brace both of her hands.

"Bella, now when the next contraction hits, I need you to push," Rhonda coached, and Bella nodded.

Bella held her breath and pushed through contraction after contraction, but Daphne seemed to be stuck at her pelvic bone. Rhonda continued to monitor her heartbeat throughout and never saw a sign of distress.

"You're doing so well, Bella, it'll be over soon," I soothed into her ear, but I could see how tired she was.

"I can't do this," she whispered with tears in her eyes, but I kept telling her she could.

"Bella, just like that," Rhonda pushed. "Exactly, Bella, push just like that, one, two, three, four..."

I could feel the force Bella was using, and after an hour of pushing, Daphne Marie Cullen was born. She was immediately placed on Bella's chest so we could see her. Once her cord stopped pulsing, Rhonda handed me a pair of scissors to cut it, and I moved out from behind Bella, leaving several pillows to keep her propped up. Bella immediately began to nurse Daphne as Rhonda worked to birth the placenta.

All that was left was the clean-up, which took quite a bit of effort and time. Bella and Daphne lay together for about an hour before she passed her off to me. After doing a once over, I knew she was perfect, and with a small yawn, she was asleep in my arms.

"Would you like a shower?" I asked Bella, who simply nodded. I could tell by her eyes that she was feeling a baby high which meant she was pretty awake, and I told her I'd give Daphne a quick bath and get her dressed. Bella just nodded and trailed off to the bathroom.

Shortly thereafter, Karen knocked on the door and offered to help Rhonda clean up. Having her there was a God send because as soon as the bed was put back together, Karen brought in several trays of food, ranging from fresh fruits to grilled sandwiches, with water, juice, and tea. She explained that she remembered being so hungry after she had her daughter that she wanted to eat an entire town, so she made a little bit of everything. She then asked if she was on the list to pick Nathan up from school, and I let her know that she had been added, so she planned on doing that when he got out.

Once I got Daphne cleaned up and dressed, it only took a few seconds of rocking to get her to drift off back to sleep. I placed her in the bassinet by our bed and walked into the bathroom to make sure Bella was okay.

She was sitting on the ledge just letting the water run over her body, and after a few minutes, she let me help her out. She put on a pair of cotton pajamas before getting back into bed. I then pointed out the food Karen had made and her face lit up. Bella snacked on fruits for a little while and began texting everyone to let them know Daphne arrived.

"Edward, what were her stats? I never asked." Bella looked up at me.

"Nine pounds, thirteen ounces, and twenty-one inches long," I answered, and her eyes widened. "She's big and healthy, just like Nate was."

"Where is Nathan?" she immediately asked.

"Karen is picking him up from school, and then I imagine he'll descend on us," I explained and she nodded.

Daphne woke up every few hours to eat, but for the most part stayed content in either Bella's or my arms. When Nathan came home from school, he barreled in to see his new sister, and decided he would wear his new big brother shirt to school the next day.

"You're so small," Nathan cooed at her. "When you get big, I'm going to teach you how to play baseball. Oh, and make sure you're always nice to dad-he'll give you anything you want if you just pout. I have so much to teach you."

For a second, Daphne opened her eyes, and Nathan was then convinced she liked him best.

"She's perfect," I whispered into Bella's ear as we watched on as Nathan continued to talking to Daphne.

"Thank you," Bella whispered back. "I couldn't have done this without you."

"You're welcome, but you're a bit backwards. Thank you for going through it all again," I replied. "I love you."

"We really do have it all, huh?" Bella smiled, and I nodded.

Nathan looked back up at us, and then whispered something into Daphne's ear.

"Secrets already, Nathan?" I teased, and he smirked.

"I was just telling Daphne that we need to convince you to give us a brother," Nathan answered, and I heard Bella huff.

"We'll see, Nathan," I warned, and he shrugged.

That night, Karen cooked a delicious turkey dinner that we all ate in our bedroom. Bella eventually flipped the TV on, and that was how we spent the remainder of the day until Bella's high wore off. She nursed Daphne a little after eight, and they both drifted off to sleep after that.

I assisted Nathan while he worked on his sheet of homework he brought home, and then tucked him get into bed.

Karen tried explaining that she'd rented a hotel room, but I put my foot down and moved her stuff to one of the spare rooms. She said thank you and sealed herself away. Charlie would be flying in the next day, and they'd be staying for a week.

That night I curled up into bed around ten only to be woke up by Daphne's cries an hour later. As groggy and tired as I felt, the only thing I could think was I wouldn't want it any other way.

* * *

**So, they're married and had their baby, and all is well in the world :) This is the first of two total futuretakes...this being more present day, while the next one will take place roughy seventeen years in the future! I will probably have it up within the next week or two-for those who have been following the possible Government shutdown, well my husband is a soldier so trying to write the last few nuts didn't go well-now that things have been agreed upon, I hope to start the next futuretake sometime this weekend! **

**Like always, all reviews will be answered, and will include a small teaser for the second futuretake.  
**

**I've had a few reviewers asked me about a possible sequel and my answer is no. If I wrote one, it would mean I'd have to put these characters through more angst, and well...I'd rather not! LOL**

***"Conceived in Love, Born in Love" was actually a quote left to me in a review by gumibear26. Thank you so much! **

**For those who have never had a baby, I tried to keep Bella's birth as realistic as possible, while not being extremely descriptive, because really...who wants to read that? However, I highly recommend the rocking on your knees-it helped me TONS when I gave birth to my eldest (my lovely 10 lb daughter). And, I'm totally jealous Bella got a homebirth-I would have killed for one, but being high risk put me at a disadvantage!  
**

**Feel free to follow me on twitter at SammieLynnsMom or on Facebook as SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction!**


	31. Futuretake Two

**Welcome to the 2nd Futuretake of Blind Intentions!  
**

**I can't thank you enough for your support, love, and reviews! Enjoy! I'm tearing up that this is being marked complete now!  
**

**Kas90 is my amazing beta!  
**

**A special thanks to morethanmyself & jadsmama for pre-reading.  
**

* * *

I glanced down at my ringing phone and saw it was Nathan. He rarely called me during the week, so I clicked the button on my Bluetooth to answer.

"Hey, Dad. Where are you?" Nathan immediately asked the second I said hello.

"I was just heading home. What's wrong?" I asked back, fearing something had happened.

"Good, so you're still in the city?" he questioned.

"Yes. Is something wrong?" I repeated.

"No, nothing is wrong. Can you meet me for coffee? I need to talk to you," he answered, and instead of taking my usual turn to head home, I turned the opposite and headed for his campus.

"Sure. Nathan, what is this about?" I pushed.

"I met her," he said forcefully.

"Who?" I asked back.

"Her. I met her," he answered like I'd asked the dumbest question in the world. I continued to think about his words and that is when it hit me...he met a girl. A girl important enough to call me in the middle of the week and want to meet about. I knew it was wrong, but I prayed to God she wasn't pregnant.

"I'm on my way," I stated before asking if we'd meet at the typical Starbucks. He said yes, and I hung up to let Bella know I'd be late.

"Hey, sweetheart. Nathan called and wanted to meet up, so I'm going to be late," I explained to her voicemail. On Tuesday night's, the girls had cheerleading, so she was normally busy driving them to and from practice.

Twenty minutes later, I was parked and walking in to find my son positively bouncing.

"So, does she have a name?" I asked after I sat down with my drink.

"Rachel," he said wistfully, and I smirked.

"How did you meet?" I then asked, trying to get a little background.

"We have a class together. She was rushing to her next class, which is on the other side of the campus, and she tripped...I helped her up, and I just...Dad, how did you know? With Mom," he changed directions quickly.

"Your mom and I had a different start, but I realized it when I couldn't see my life without her in it," I answered cryptically. Nathan knew our background, and was old enough to remember the time when Bella and I weren't together, but it was almost never spoken about. In fact, I wasn't even sure Daphne had put it all together yet, or if she had, she never asked.

"Anyway, I helped her pick up her stuff, and I asked her for her number. We've gone out a few times, and it's just...she's perfect," he laughed almost to himself like he was remembering a funny story.

Nathan had dated a little bit in high school, but, for the most part, he focused on school and sports. A few girls had stuck around for longer than a month, but it was rare, and no one I'd consider to be a serious girlfriend. He'd been in college for two years now, and I knew this time would come. Bella was going to be in tears that our little boy was finally growing up, but I was happy for him.

"So, she's not pregnant, then," I joked, and he looked at me like a deer in headlights.

"What, no! How could you...oh, well I guess my message was vague, but no, I haven't..." he stopped dead in his tracks as I leaned my head to the side to look at him. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? "Let's just leave it with this, you and Mom made good examples for um...uh, waiting."

"Oh," I said shocked. In high school, Bella and I were strict when girls came to our house, and there was never a time where he'd be alone in his room with one. We both made sure that he knew all of the basics, along with a full knowledge of condoms and how to use them. It was embarrassing but needed. He never asked any additional questions, but I assumed once he started living in the dorms he would have...well, I guess I just wasn't expecting that answer. "Good, that's great, actually. So, how long have you been seeing her?"

"A few weeks," he answered, and I nodded.

"I already know what you're going to say. I'm too young, we haven't known each other long enough, but I swear, this is just..." he trailed on looking for the right word.

"Different?" I offered, and he nodded.

"Exactly. Something about her is just different," he explained.

"Well, I wasn't going to tell you any of the above, but I was going to tell you to take your time. You both have time, and if you feel so strongly about her, I'd love to meet her," I acknowledged that I not only understood his position, but I also accepted it too.

"About that, and that's why I called. I wanted to bring her to dinner on Easter, but I don't know Mom will react," he said nervously.

"Oh, you're mom will be excited. She's going to be sad, because it's just another reminder that you're getting older, but I'll make sure she's prepared," I promised.

I stayed for another twenty minutes, and we talked about Nathan's classes, life, and how everything was going. He was in his third year at the North Carolina State for Marine Biology.

That night I went home to Bella and explained the new information I had just learned.

"He wants to bring a girl home for Easter?" Bella asked sadly.

"Yes, that is what he wanted to talk about. He wanted to know how I knew," I replied.

"Knew what?" she asked curiously.

"That you were the one," I explained, and she gasped.

"Hold on. First, you tell me my little boy wants to bring a girl home from college, and now, you're saying he thinks she could be the one?" She started to tear up, and I only nodded my head. "I'm not ready for this. He's only twenty-one. I thought I had more time than this."

"Bella, come here," I patted the chair I was sitting in. She walked over and laid down on my lap. "We knew this day would come, and this is a good thing. We've always just wanted Nathan to be happy, and I just want us to keep an open mind when we meet her."

"Oh, like I'd be mean. Lord knows the welcome I got," she scoffed.

"Well, yes, you do have that to compare," I acknowledged.

"I'll be nice; I just can't believe he's all grown up," she whispered, and I brought my lips to hers to comfort her.

"You know, Mr. Cullen, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to seduce me to get my mind off of Nathan growing up," she accused with a playful smirk on her face.

"Are you objecting?" I asked mischievously, but she shook her head no.

The next month, Rachel drove in from Raleigh to spend Easter day with our family. She was a little quiet at first, but she quickly opened up and fit right in with our bunch. We had our annual family Easter Egg hunt, followed by baskets and gifts, and then a big brunch. We learned she was in school to become a biology teacher, and that was why she shared a class with Nathan. Her family was from Cary, which wasn't too far away from Apex, but were visiting her brother that lived out of state for Easter. Watching Nathan interact with Rachel was surreal-she moved, he moved, and visa versa. I could see what he meant when he called her perfect.

"They seems happy," Bella commented after Nathan and Rachel left.

"I agree, she's a sweet girl," I agreed.

"They're still young, though," she pointed out, and I agreed. "I still hope she sticks around."

"I do, too. I just want him to be happy...that's all I've ever wanted for all of our children," I replied absentmindedly.

"Me too," she sighed before we retired to our room for the night.

Nathan was offered a job right out of college, and they started him out at a decent salary, and that was when he and Rachel decided to rent a small house just outside of the city. Rachel began working in one of the local high schools, and for a while they were content to just start out together.

Six months after they moved in, Nathan came over to talk to both of us about Bella's old ring. On our five year anniversary we went out and celebrated with new rings, but put ours away in case any of our children wanted them.

_"Is something wrong, baby?" Bella asked after we all sat down in the study._

_"No, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask you a question about your old ring, Mom," he directed his question at Bella. _

_I felt her tense next to me, before she breathed out and nodded her head for him to continue._

_"I know you put it away, and I didn't know if it was being saved for any one of us in particular. But, I was going to see, if you didn't mind, I'd like it...to, um, use," he stumbled through his words. _

_"You're proposing?" I interjected, and he nodded. _

_"Yeah, I..." he trailed off and just smiled. _

_Bella stood up wordlessly and left the room. Nathan looked confused and then worried for a minute before she came back with a black box in her hand. _

_"You'll call us the second she says yes, you hear?" she tells him with tears in her eyes._

_"Of course," he returns before standing up to hug her. "Thank you."_

_"When?" I asked, and he shook his head. _

_"Soon, I just don't know when," he answered, and I nodded. I remembered that position. _

_"I better get home," Nathan stated as he glanced at his watch. "Thank you."_

Nathan called exactly one week later to let us know she said yes. The next month we hosted a small engagement party in the backyard. Through the help of Margret, Rachel's mother, and Bella, their wedding was planned exactly six months after their engagement was announced. They both agreed they wanted a small church wedding with just their closest friends and family.

On Nathan's wedding day, Emmett, Nathan, and I set up in the room attached to the main groom's room. It was obvious he was a bundle of nerves, and every two seconds tried to fix the position of his bow, the laces of his shoes, or the buttons on his jacket.

"So, you're nervous," Emmett pipped up.

"Uh, yeah," Nathan deadpanned, but the look on his face was priceless.

"Nathan, just breathe. It's all going to be just fine, as soon as you see her, you'll be fine," I tried to soothe, but he wasn't having it.

"Yeah, I agree. Just relax, nothing will really change. You already live together, so now it'll just be more official," Emmett tried to help, but instead caused Nathan to panic more.

"Uh, I think things will be a little different," Nathan muttered before he looked down nervously.

"Hold on," Emmett said as he evaluated the situation. "You live together, Nathan, you're not saying you've..." Emmett trailed off, "Uh, wow. No wonder you're nervous."

"Look, I'm not saying I haven't done..." he looked over towards me before shaking his head. "Things, but we've never done...that."

Up until this point I had tried to stay out of it, but I figured this was my clue to interject.

"Emmett, I'm pretty sure Nate is just nervous, just like you were with Rose, and I was with Bella," I tried to brush off, but Emmett rolled his eyes.

"I know, but at least we had...do you need advice?" he offered, and though I could tell Emmett was sincere, Nathan screamed no before walking off.

I looked at Emmett and shook my head before walking into the other room just to be told it was time.

When I walked into the sanctuary, I found Bella and took my seat. Nathan stood proudly at the front at the altar, and all of the nerves washed away from his face as soon as Rachel began walking down the aisle with her father, Robert. Though they opted for a traditional ceremony, it was only about thirty minutes long. Everyone gathered for pictures before heading over to the country club for their reception.

For Bella and I, nothing really changed after Nathan's wedding. We had already considered Rachel like another daughter, and once or twice a month they would come over for breakfast on Sunday morning so we could catch up.

They had only been married for a few months before they announced they were expecting their first child. I probably shouldn't have been shocked, but I was. For some reason, I saw them waiting longer, but I was still happ,y nonetheless, and it was how I found myself seven months later taking my son to lunch while Bella and Margret threw Rachel a baby shower at our house.

"Are you ready to order?" the waitress asked shortly after Nathan and I were seated at La Rancherita. I smirked because she knew exactly what we wanted, but each time she asked just the same.

After taking our order, and Nathan still wasn't talking, I decided I'd engage him. Twenty-six years ago I sat in the same position he was in now...I had the same fears, hopes, and dreams, though he was in a much stabler position.

"You're nervous?" I stated, and he nodded. Until this point he hadn't come to me to talk, but as time went on, and the day loomed closer, I knew he'd eventually break.

"How did you do it?" Nathan asked finally, and I sighed.

"We worked together," I began. "Your mom and I were in a different situation, but it didn't change how we functioned. We came together as your parents and we talked, we listened, and we opened up our hearts to you. I was scared to death I'd ruin you, or drop you, but the second you were born...that was it. I was your dad, and there was no going back, and never did a day pass that I wanted to go back, either."

"You were scared, too?" he asked dumbfounded, and I couldn't hold back a laugh.

"A fumbling, nervous wreck! I was so sure I wouldn't know what to do, how to hold you, wouldn't know what you wanted when you cried...man, I was a wreck. But it got better, your mom went into labor, and then you were there, and it clicked," I explained while I watched Nathan take mental notes.

"So, you just knew?" he pushed on with his list of question and I mildly shrugged.

"I knew the basics, and it didn't take long to learn your cues and personality. Your mom still had to show me how to properly put on a diaper, but I picked it up quickly, just like you will," I reassured him.

"I thought asking her to marry me was nerve wracking, but this...every night I wonder if I'll be a decent father, or if I'll pass out while she's in labor. Do you know how embarrassed I'd be if I did that? I'd never be able to face my wife again," he joked, and I joined in with a chuckle.

"Nathan, I've been there four times now. The first time was the hardest because neither one of us knew what to expect. You and Rachel have talked about it all, right? What she wants, and how you'll help her," I asked, and he nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, she has her birth plan and all that. She's already told me if they want to do something she doesn't want then I'm to say something, but what if I'm not enough? I mean, she doesn't want drugs, and I wasn't home for Daphne, but I was for Daniel...I remember those screams," he paled slightly as he spoke.

Two years after Daphne was born, Bella and I found out we were expecting another child. Though Daniel wasn't planned, he was very much wanted, and Nathan was thrilled to be getting his brother. The day Bella went into labo,r Nathan was out of school. A friend of his was coming to pick him for a while, but Daniel came too fast. Bella had never been more vocal than when she had Daniel, and when he was born at ten pounds and six ounces we knew why. That night as Nathan and Daphne oo'd and awed over Daniel, Bella told me in so many words that I would never be touching her again, and we were done having children. I took the news stoically and didn't argue, but sure enough, a year later, we welcomed Natalie into the world. After that, I made an appointment to ensure we were done at four.

"Yes, well, you also need to remember how big your brother was when he was born. I'm sure your child will be much nicer to Rachel than mine were," I excused, and he rolled his eyes.

"That is true, but still, how did you do it? Sit by and know you couldn't do anything?" he asked, but I shook my head.

"I may not have been able to talk over the pain, but I still did things, and you can't go into it thinking there is nothing you can do. If her water is empty, you fill it, if she needs you to rub her back, you do it, if she needs help standing, then you brace her. Nathan, there is plenty for you to do, and though I'd never say I had a harder job than your mom, she'll be the first one to tell you I made it easier on her. All you need to focus on is making sure Rachel only has to focus on birthing the baby, everything else falls on you," I pointed out, and he nodded.

"That makes sense. How long do you think the shower will last?" he wondered as we finished eating our food.

"I'd say we still have another hour or two before we head back. Knowing your mom, she'll be in tears half of the shower, anyway," I laughed, and he agreed.

"As nervous as I am, I can't wait to meet her," Nathan confessed, and I knew that was coming.

"See." I nodded my head at him. "Nate, you will be a good dad because you want to be. You care enough to worry, and worrying is normal. She's lucky to have you and Rachel. I'm still so thankful you married someone as wonderful as her. "

"I know, right. She's perfect, but I also had good examples," he complimented, and I smiled.

"Well, your mom makes it easy on me. She's definitely my other half," I agreed.

"Do you ever think about..." he trailed off, and I shook my head no.

"No, I really don't. I used to, but it was because I was worried she wasn't really gone. It was like we got off too easy, but now, I've got other things to worry about...like your sister going to prom," I groaned, and Nathan laughed at me. "Just you wait, you're having a daughter...your day will come." As soon as the words left my mouth he stopped laughing.

"Not cool," he deadpanned.

A silence hung over us for a few minutes before I uncomfortably asked him if he still thought about his time away.

"Not really. I have recently, though. I mean, you and Mom said I could always revert with the wrong stresses," he trailed off.

"You're worried the baby could make you switch?" I asked simply, and he nodded.

"You haven't had an episode in seventeen years, and though babies can be stressful, I'm confident you'll be able to handle it," I assured him.

"Thank you." He nodded his head, and we moved to leave. "I do have a question though, and it's something I've been meaning to ask for a while..."

Nathan looked nervous, but I just nodded my head for him to continue.

"When you and Mom first met, why didn't it work?" he asked, and I sighed. I had expected this question years ago, before he even married Rachel, but it never came.

"Nathan, let me ask this. How do you think your mother and I raised you?" I re-directed because his answer would help me in explaining things he never knew...secrets we had hidden from the start.

"I don't know. You were both loving, supportive, and you taught me to be kind and accepting," he rambled on for a second.

"Well, that wasn't how I was raised. Your Mom was raised like that, and she has been pure and kind from the beginning. However, my mother raised me to do anything she asked regardless of the consequences. It wasn't until you were taken that I was able to see how horribly unhappy I had been all along.

"With your Mom, things would have worked had I fought harder. I just didn't. I bent to Esme's will, and instead, put my wants on hold. I tried for a while after we broke up to fix things, but your Mom knew better...she knew as long as Esme was in the background we'd wouldn't have ever been happy. It took me eight years to see it, but once I did, that was it. Your mom should have been my all from the start, but I was blinded by manipulation," I explained.

"How did _she_ fit in?" Nathan pushed without mentioning the name.

"Esme liked her, and I thought that was what was expected. I was told that I'd go to college, be a doctor, find a wife, and have children...in that order. At the time, it seemed like the next logical step," I admitted slightly embarrassed that I was having to be so frank with my own son.

"So, you regretted me? I fit out of order," Nathan asked quietly, and my eyes widened.

"Not for a second. You were, and still are, one of priorities in life. From the moment you came into my life that fate was sealed. I was just lucky enough to have found someone as wonderful as your Mom along the way. Without Bella, Lord only knows how you would have been raised," I snapped.

"Do you regret your time apart?" he questioned.

"I try not to, because when I do it's depressing. At first, it was hard to look past, but moreso, hard to understand why your Mom gave me another chance. One night, she sat me down and explained to me that she didn't see me as the boy she'd first met in college. She saw someone who had matured and grown into their own person, and that was why she was willing to try. After that, it got better in time, and now I just focus on you, your siblings, and your mom. I make sure I am doing everything in my power to ensure you're all happy and cared for," I answered.

"Is that why you told me to never allow anyone to come before Rachel? To fight for her even if I had to stand again you or Mom?" he wondered after a second.

'Exactly." I nodded. "Once you got married, though you'll always be our son, you also became Rachel's husband. It's you're duty to ensure she is always taken care of, and to always fight for her. Once your daughter is born, you'll still be our son, but you'll also be Rachel's husband, and your daughter's father."

"That sounds intimidating," he admitted honestly.

"It can be, but you're a smart man with a strong head on your shoulders. You've been through things I can't imagine, and you've matured well beyond your years," I complimented.

"How did you and Mom deal? When I was gone. How did you not give up?" he questioned.

"Your mom," I stated simply. "That's the simplest answer I have. From the second Garrett's confession came out, I didn't know what I think. Logically, as a doctor I put the pieces together, but your Mother wouldn't accept that. She sat on my living room floor for days telling us you were still alive, and that we could never give up, because she knew. And, I've never been more thankful that she was right."

Nathan nodded, and I knew he was processing a lot of what we'd just talked about. We quietly walked out of the restaurant without saying another word.

"We still have some time, why don't we pick something up for your daughter?" I asked as I nodded over to the same boutique Bella and I used to buy for Daphne, Daniel, and Natalie.

"Yeah, Rachel would like that," he commented absentmindedly as we headed over.

Once inside, we said hello to the Cindy, the owner, who knew me by name.

Nathan walked through the isle and settled up a pink outfit that said: "Daddy's Little Angel."

I looked down to see my phone ringing and noticed it was Bella. I walked outside as Nathan paid.

"Edward, are you still with Nathan?" Bella rushed the second I picked up,

"Yes," I answered.

"Good, you need to get him to the hospital. Rachel's water broke, and we're on our way," she continued to rush out while a sea of commotion could be heard in the background.

"Okay," I stated as the reality of the situation hit me. "Okay, I'll get him there."

Nathan was walking out as I spun around.

"Come on, it's time for you to be a dad," I announced, and Nathan froze.

"What? No, we have a few more weeks," he tried to stall, but I shook my head no.

"Well, your mother has your wife who's water has broken, so I'm under strict instructions to get you to the hospital, now. Babies wait for no one," I reiterated, and Nathan took off for the car.

Traffic was light, and after only hitting one light, I pulled into the parking lot. Nathan continued to mutter to himself about it being too early, and that he couldn't do this, but I just told him that the baby would be fine, and that he could.

When we got to the OB ward, I waited in the family area with Robert. Rachel asked both her mother and Bella if they'd be in the room with her. Bella tearfully agreed, and Rachel explained that even though she didn't feel comfortable birthing at home, she wanted to go as naturally as possible.

I knew it could be hours before my granddaughter was born, and I placed a call to Daphne asking her to watch Daniel and Natalie for the night because I needed to stay. Even though I wasn't expected in the room, Nathan still requested I look over the baby after she was born. Despite having my own practice, I did still have doctors rights at the hospital, because we used it for emergency situations.

Time ticked by slowly, and every so often Bella would come out to update me. Rachel progressed naturally, and after nine hours, she and Nathan welcomed into the world Sydney Michelle Cullen.

Once Rachel was covered back up, Bella came out to get me. Robert, Rachel's dad, had gone home a few hours earlier. When I walked in, Rachel was holding Sydney as Nathan beamed down at both of them.

"I'm not ready to hand her over yet," Rachel said quietly to me as soon as I walked in the door.

"Take your time. I'm here when you're ready," I reassured her, and she nodded.

After about an hour, Rachel handed Sydney over while I did a quick check over. All was well and perfect, and Nathan helped his wife into the shower while he helped me give her a quick clean up.

"I told you, you could do it," I commended him.

"I know," he said as he gazed down at his daughter. "She's perfect."

"Yes, she is," I agreed.

Bella and I left shortly after Rachel was moved to her recovery room and told them to call if they needed anything, otherwise we'd be back the next day.

That night, while I held Bella in my arms, I couldn't help but feel accomplished. We had done good with Nathan, and now it was his turn.

"You know what's scary?" Bella yawned.

"Hmmm?" I sighed as I kissed her head.

"Daphne is next," Bella chuckled, and I paled.

"I'm locking her in the basement."

It was Bella's turn to laugh at me before we drifted off to sleep.

My last thought before I drifted off was on what kind of shot gun to buy next.

* * *

**Well our little boy is grown and on his own now! I honestly can not thank everyone enough for your love and support! As it stands out, Blind Intentions will be marked complete! Outtakes will update as they're done, and when they become available, so do keep that on alert-but for all intents and purposes, the story has closed. Since I don't have a chapter to tease for the review, last night I wrote the outtake for how Alice and Bella began talking again, that I'll be putting in the Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness Compilation, and I'll send a small teaser from that, AND a small teaser from chapter one of my next story, Meeting Myself! I'll be starting this story on FFn around Easter! **

**Thank you, thank you, thank you...I swear not to type forever, so thank you!  
**

**Feel free to follow me on twitter at SammieLynnsMom or on Facebook as SammieLynnsMom Fanfiction!**


End file.
